Dry Bar Comedy Season 7, Episode 11: John Rizkallah: Living In The Friend Zone

Gabriel Rutledge: One Third of the Room

A father who doesn’t have Honey Crisp money, Gabriel Rutledge has been profiled accurately for too long. Gabriel’s life has been ruined by “brave” selfies, the fat Jesus who can’t forgive, Amazon’s algorithm, and the rubber cement haze of art class.

26 min

Greg Schwem: You Can't Quarantine Laughter

Corporate entertainer and motivational comic, Greg Schwem jokes about COVID-19 quarantine, building a house, and the effects of drug commercials.

21 min

Jordan Makin: Heckboy

Returning for his second Dry Bar Comedy special, Jordan Makin jokes about red heads going extinct, being over-charged $100,000 at a burger restaurant, and what it feels like to be the king of Fitbit comedy.

27 min

Juanita Lolita: When You Say I Do... But You Don't No More

Half Puerto Rican and half West Virginian hillbilly, Juanita Lolita riffs on her personal experience and centers her comedy on her Christian faith.

25 min

Heath Harmison: The Pandemic Special

Returning for his second Dry Bar Comedy special, Heath Harmison jokes about having Starbucks baristas write handsome on his cup and compares his experience growing up with his kids.

26 min

John C. Morgan: A Tale of Two Presidents?

A very special guest of presidential proportion, John C. Morgan takes to the stage as someone you are sure to recognize. Along with immaculate impersonations, John teaches the audience invaluable lessons on how to conceal presidential farts and how many C’s of leadership there are.

19 min

Billy D. Washington: 2 Jokes, 1 Hour

A brilliant writer and comedian, Billy D. Washington graces the stage with deadpan humor and absurdly loving advice. Billy shares his experience of being a black cop in an all-white neighborhood, his idea of “problem solved,” and his plans for how to spend $13 when he has all of the money in the world.

26 min

Donnie Stopa: I Live in a Buick

Recently moved out of poverty and into his Buick, Donnie comes to the stage accompanied with a children’s guitar and one of the largest musical ranges the Dry Bar stage has witnessed.

18 min

Goumba Johnny Sialiano: Quality Time Not Quantity Time

Goumba Johnny (John Sialiano) has had many careers. Most recently, he’s been accused of being a comedian. Along with covering the tragedies of the pandemic, Goumba’s nieces have recently proven that he’s turned into his mother.

22 min

Chad Thornsberry: Fine Dining & Utter Nonsense

Chad Thornsberry, a classic monologist, is a charmer and a storyteller. In his second Dry Bar special, Chad shares stories that you’ll need to hear to believe.

28 min

David Dean: Hoosier Pappy

Half dead and becoming his dad, David Dean is spending his new-found age clubbing at Costco and avoiding Best Buy.

25 min

Greg Vaccariello: Everything Hurts

An Italian guy from New York, Greg Vaccariello is over 40 and married to a hillbilly. Life now is all about step kids, making fun of his mother, and avoiding Satan.

28 min

Chris Wineland: I'm Terrified

Chris Wineland talks marriage, weight loss, and self confidence. For Chris, love overcomes fear... until you’re married, and then they’re just roommates.

24 min

Dan Bublitz: Use Your Imagination

Dan Bublitz Jr.’s seemingly cheerful comedy teeters on the edge of pessimism. Currently, Dan’s unpacking his childhood, denying all hipster accusations, and moving on from loving the Easter Bunny to playing the Easter Bunny.

25 min

Pete Jr.: Happily Frustrated

In his second marriage and enjoying parenthood, Pete Jr. gives insight into his present day arguments about single roses, shaved legs, car crashes, recorded voices, and high functioning autism.

22 min

Mike Marino: Make America Italian Again

New Jersey’s Bad Boy, Mike Marino comes to the stage to tell jokes as an act of community service. Mike is still figuring out who he’s supposed to be (Italian action-adventure hero is still on the table) but he most enjoys himself people-watching in alternative movie theaters and fighting for his self checkout rights.

24 min

Rick D'Elia: D'Apostrophelia!

23 min

Derek Richards: Last Call

Quick-witted and fresh, Derek Richards is the definition of entertainment. An endorser of child-free existence, steroid sports, and camel calculators, Derek is, in his humble opinion, living his best life.

25 min

Matt Falk: Getting Worked Up

With an energy as formidably funny as his vocabulary, Matt Falk returns to Dry Bar, serving up some hot takes on toasters, birders, and Elton John concerts.

25 min

Justin Berkman: Kosher Ham

Cliff Cash: God Needed a Driver

From North Carolina, Cliff Cash has a complicated relationship with the South. With a mom who speaks in tongues and a dad who is a retired pit crew worker, Cliff is stuck in a place between communion snacks and grape juicy conspiracies.

26 min

Brian Kohatsu: Japanese Bedtime Story

23 min

Jeff Harms: Let's Go So We Can Get Back

After talking about the weather, Jeff Harms beats the small talk and gets straight to the point: Roman numeral jokes, teenage hair balls, duct tape, and junk drawers.

31 min

Miguel Washington: Unmasked - You Can't Make This Up

African American with a Spanish name, Miguel Washington is sick of getting married, dealing with arrogant Americans, and being interviewed for jobs. His solution for everything these days involves linguistics and camouflage…and taking things as literally as possible.

25 min

Rosco Nash: You Would've Loved My Dad

Rosco Nash entertains audiences everywhere with his self-deprecation, sarcasm and quick wit. A former New York Sanitation worker/hot yoga instructor, Rosco shares his confusion with social norms as well what it's like to navigate relationships with his kids who seem like they might be smarter than he is and his beautiful Puerto Rican wife. His approachable style ensures that, whether you're a Millennial or an Octogenarian, White collar or blue collar you will laugh ‘til it hurts and feel like you just met your new best friend.

23 min

Ryan Reiss: Covidiot

Ryan Reiss brings some New York energy to the Dry Bar stage. Asking the scary questions and giving the scary answers, Ryan talks everything from marriage memory loss to homeless actor statistics.

15 min

Basile: Homeschooled Greek

Basile, everyone’s favorite Greek, grew up in the Bronx being homeschooled by his parents, Rosemary and Herb. Basile’s life has been filled with Thanksgiving lamb, Greek sack lunches, penguin mascots, and tooth fairy embezzlement.

21 min

Arvin Mitchell: Silly Crowd

From St. Louis and a family of 13 kids, Arvin Mitchell gives shoutouts to family members, holidays, and heathens. He talks heart attack hamburgers, poorly executed robberies, and houses with speech impediments.

31 min

George Kanter: Kids Eat Free

With a chiseled face and a contagious grin, George Kanter was born to be a comedian. In his tell-all, he shares the details of his spreading lazy eye, his producer-credit dreams, and his condiment-dealer connections.

26 min

Jacob Williams: Dream Date

An only child from Kentucky, Jacob Williams is experiencing a lifelong awkward encounter. He stutters in text messages, projects his inferiority complex onto strangers, and falls in fight-or-flight situations.

40 min

Kelly MacFarland: Sleepytime Baby

Kelly Macfarland has big news and it has to do with the shiny thing on her finger. Her recently recycled husband is her laziness soulmate, and apart from the melon chewing and encoded snores, she couldn’t be happier.

29 min

Adam Minnick: Low Pay + Disrespect

Not Jewish and stuck eating grass sandwiches, Adam Minnick is a comedian, traveller, teacher, and husband. Adam’s observational humor combined with life stories will teach you about ER shopping, Biblical names, and all things marriage.

21 min

Kelly Collette: I Made You This...

Blonde and from the midwest, Kelly Collette’s life is overrun with female energy. Fairy-inspired weddings, Mary Kay parties, breakup kits, and Botox are just the beginning of Kelly’s struggles.

27 min

Rodney Norman: Dissertation of the Pretense of Nothingness

Some things for Rodney Norman have been a lifelong journey: getting 14 happy years out of a 25 year marriage, realizing that listening to your body is not the answer to weight-loss, and concluding that Californians should just go back to California.

31 min

Carlos Oscar: Everyday, It's Something

Carlos Oscar, a lean, clean joke machine, takes a seat like he’s in your living room letting you in on all the gossip. Being a Puerto Rican NewYorker, the gossip consists of piñata pills, chorizo ninjas, and Gen-LaZy.

25 min

Tara Brown: Adjusting to and Loving My Middle-Aged Life!

Early to the office and marked “safe” on Facebook, Tara Brown has it all together. For her, all it takes is velcro shoes and a few love letters to her long list of insecurities.

23 min

Thor Ramsey: With Laugh Track

Thor Ramsey’s daily life is full of small decisions. With the application of metaphysics, quantum mechanics, and expiration dates, no decision—big or small—will ever feel right.

23 min

Mike Hickman: They're Gonna Come Get You!

After being a youth pastor, comedian, and eternal prankster, Mike Hickman is considering a modeling career. Apart from life decisions, Mike is taking walking classes, avoiding operators, and driving backwards.

26 min

Carl Strong: Are You Ready for This?!

Humble and stupid, Carl Strong is an old-school package of good vibes only. The way he manages to offend no one is by offending everyone.

24 min

Rich Natole: Voices of a Generation

In "Voices of a Generation," Rich Natole goes on a journey through the decades, impersonating classic and beloved characters from the not-so-distant past.

16 min

Steve Soelberg: Can't Cough in Public

Steve Soelberg comes to Dry Bar to report on his first pandemic. So far, it's consisted of Western standoffs, endless Bane impressions, and potential deaths by queso.

10 min

Jessi Campbell: Feel the Burn

Jessi Campbell gets straight to the point on what we’ve all been missing. The story consists of aliens, bird people, amusement parks, leftovers, and apple watches.

25 min

Vinayak Pal: Vincents Don't Come in this Color

Vinayak Pal is enjoying his life as a California guy with 108 Indian names. Besides being bullet proof from credit card fraud, Vinayak shares what it's like doing other people's homework, refusing to sign petitions, and being invited into L.A.'s Mexican culture.

23 min

Jay Reid: That Don't Go Together

Vegas-based and a father to two children, Jay Reid talks Catholic fear, Little Mermaid racism, and flip-flop fashion.

21 min

Kyle Yamada: Midwest Sushi!

Kyle Yamada, or “Mountain Rice Paddy,” is from South Dakota. Kyle shares his struggle with stereotypes, love languages, and inconsistent accents.

24 min

LA Hardy: French Fries & Tater Tots

Living his best life in Hollywood, Florida, L.A. Hardy is a spokesman for gated communities, old-school parenting, and flying cars.

22 min

Wes Austin: The Mall Cop of Lawyers

Wes Austin is a lot more than just a comedian. He’s also a patent lawyer, an eyebrow shrink, and a father to three girls. Wes talks hair transplants, celiac disease, and flexible morals.

29 min

Rodney Norman: Santa

All the way from the North Pole, it's Santa Claus!

9 min

Marty Pollio: Get Off My Back

Marty Pollio is here to settle some expectations. Eating vegetarian animals is close enough, you can’t hit your head in a bottomless pit, and the glass is neither too full nor too empty... it's just too big.

31 min

Geechy Guy: Clean for a Day

With an inherited sense of humor and a modeling career in the evolutionary chart, Geechy Guy is a record breaking comedian from Rochester, MI.

23 min

Matt Griffo: Enjoy Yourself Before You're Dead

With a musical theatre resumé too extensive to list, Matt Griffo is a man of many talents. Bringing his voice, ukulele, and keyboard skills, Matt shares original songs that are both comedic and heart-wrenching.

16 min

Willie Brown & Friends: I'm Beside Myself

As a ventriloquist, Willie Brown doesn’t work alone. His favorite uncle Rufus and his best frenemy, Woody, join him as his comedic costars in an unforgettable show that's sure to pull your heart strings.

19 min

Scott Wood: Mr. Punchline

25 min

Karen Mayer Cunningham: Looking Good

From Texas and headed for heaven, Karen Cunningham is in a war with the beauty defects of age. She recommends replacing white pants and sunlight with pantyhose and prayer.

27 min