McHale's Navy Season 2, Episode 14: My Ensign, the Lawyer

The Day the War Stood Still

During a search for some stolen goods, while McHale and the 73 Crew are out on a recon mission, Binghamton catches Fuji, and holds him as a spy. McHale and the boys then cook up a complicated plan to spring him.

30 min

The Binghamton Murder Plot

After laying some unusually harsh punishments on McHale and the 73 Crew, Binghamton mistakenly gets the impression that McHale and his men are out to kill him.

30 min

McHale and His Schweinhunds

Parker is feeling somewhat depressed, after getting scared during a chase after a Japanese patrol boat, especially after Binghamton accuses him of cowardice. But Binghamton changes his mind, when Parker – During a test run, on the 73 – Spots a German U-Boat, and goes after it.

30 min

Is There a Doctor in the Hut?

The boys need to get to New Caledonia, but Binghamton denies leave. He changes his mind, however, when he finds that Movie Star Rita Howard – On a brief layover at New Caledonia, and, of whom Admiral Rogers is a big fan – Has a ‘cousin' on Taratupa.

30 min

To Binghamton with Love

McHale and The Crew are in hot water again, this time, over the mis-use of the 73. But Binghamton drops the charges, when he gets into a bit of hot water, himself, and needs help from McHale and the boys.

30 min

Have Kimono, Will Travel

While trying to prevent McHale and the 73 Crew from putting on a show for the Taratupa personnel, Binghamton winds up in trouble along with McHale and the boys, and has to put on a show, himself, to help get them out of it.

30 min

Today I Am a Man!

Parker requests a transfer, when a cute blonde Nurse he's involved with unintentionally demoralizes him. So, McHale, The Crew, and the Nurse work out a plan to make him feel better about himself.

30 min

Jolly Wally

Eager to have a well-known War Correspondent do a story on him, Binghamton makes Parker – Who is the Correspondent's childhood friend – The Base PR Officer. But Parker's ideas for good press turn out to be not so good.

30 min

Scuttlebutt

Tinker's best girl dumps him for a fighter pilot, so, Gruber, and the rest of the Crew fabricate a tall rumor, to build Tinker up, in the eyes of his sweetheart.

30 min

The August Teahouse of Quint McHale

Binghamton is stressed out, and long past due for a leave, and McHale and the boys have a special reason to make sure he gets one.

30 min

French Leave for McHale

McHale and the boys transport Binghamton to a staff meeting in New Caledonia, and, to keep them out of trouble, Binghamton confines them to the boat. But McHale grants the boys 3 hours unauthorized liberty, during which, they all get in trouble – Including McHale – And are thrown in jail. But their troubles double, when – During their incarceration – The 73 gets ‘borrowed'.

30 min

The Happy Sleepwalker

30 min

A Letter for Fuji

The 73 Crew's heart-sick Japanese friend, Fuji, must get a letter to his best girl, back home in Japan. But, a secret mission to mail the letter from a Japanese-held island becomes complicated, when Fuji's letter gets mixed up in Binghamton's plan to distribute propaganda leaflets to the enemy.

30 min

Orange Blossom for McHale

A new Navy directive - Ordering all married Officers to be shipped home - Prompts Binghamton to scheme to get McHale married off to a shady saloon-keeper by the name of Kate O'Hara - An old friend of McHale's. But, neither Kate, nor McHale want to tie the knot, so they join forces, to try to thwart Binghamton's plan.

30 min

Creature from McHale's Lagoon

Gruber and the guys try to make some money with some phony pearl oysters, but their scheme backfires, when a greedy Binghamton takes over their operation. Then, when Chief Urulu muscles in on Binghamton's business, McHale and The Crew put a stop to the whole operation, by taking advantage of an old native superstition, and some Japanese technology.

30 min

A Medal for Parker

Major complications develop when the guys send a chapter of Parker's war novel - Including a highly fictionalized account of his sinking of the biggest battleship in the Japanese fleet - To Parker's hometown girlfriend, in an attempt to help him win her heart.

30 min

The Balloon Goes Up

Binghamton is offered a promotion and transfer up to Fleet HQ, but must first reconcile a shortage in the base's equipment inventory. After all is accounted for, except for one item - A barrage balloon - McHale and The Crew must race against time, in order to locate it, and bring it in, in time for Binghamton to be shipped out.

30 min

Who'll Buy My Sarongs?

A business venture - Involving the manufacture and sale of sarongs to the Base personnel - Has the guys divided into two separate quarreling groups. When the feud escalates, Binghamton tries to take advantage of it's effect on them, during a PT Crew efficiency test - Their failure of which, would mean their being shipped out for re-assignment.

30 min

Evil-Eye Parker

When Binghamton refuses permission for McHale and The Crew to put on a big show, to raise funds for the local Orphanage, Parker uses his newly-acquired skill as a Hypnotist, to make The Captain more agreeable. But the scheme is complicated by the visit of a Senator from the Armed Services Committee.

30 min

The Great Impersonation

Parker - A dead-ringer for an important British General - Agrees to put his life on the line, by posing as The General, to divert the attention of spies, in New Caledonia, while the real General carries out a crucial invasion of a Japanese-held island.

30 min

Urulu's Paradise West

Binghamton is ordered to purchase one of Chief Urulu's islands, for the construction of a radar station. But, Urulu - Knowing that he's got The Navy 'over a barrel' - Inflates the price of his real estate to ridiculous levels. So, McHale and The Crew try to help The Captain out, with a scheme to de-value The Chief's land.

30 min

Dear Diary

Binghamton gets hold of Parker's diary, which includes details of the Crew's shady activities. After the guys steal the diary from The Captain's safe, Binghamton sets out to personally escort Parker to The Admiral. But, after falling into enemy hands, on the way, and being rescued by the 73 Crew, Binghamton changes his mind, after some gentle persuasion by McHale.

30 min

Babette Go Home

30 min

The Novocain Mutiny

Fuji has a bad toothache, and McHale and The Crew must figure out a way to get him in to the Dentist, during an inspection tour of the Fleet Medical Officer.

30 min

Stars Over Taratupa

Five-time Oscar-winning Director John Burton comes to Taratupa, to shoot a documentary on PT boats, and their Crews, and McHale and the Crew successfully scheme to become the stars of the film. But, when they find out that Fuji has sneaked into the production, they must re-shoot the movie, themselves, with surprising results.

30 min

Comrades of PT 73

A Russian Naval Officer reports to McHale for PT Boat training, and, soon disgusted with the 73 Crew's lack of discipline, asks to be assigned to another Crew. But, when Binghamton finds out that the chosen Crew will shipped out to Russia, he talks the Russian into staying with McHale. McHale and the guys must then work up a plan to get out of the situation.

30 min

Return of Big Frenchy

The French thief and con-artist first talks Binghamton out of a load of Navy supplies, then cons Parker into helping him get them to New Caledonia. McHale and the guys must then follow, rescue Parker, and recover the supplies.

30 min

Alias PT 73

After being restricted to base by Binghamton, McHale and the guys mock up a damaged PT boat, to look like the 73, so that they can sneak a load of building materials to a nearby island village, to help the natives rebuild, after an air raid. But complications develop, when Admiral Rogers visits Taratupa, to investigate.

30 min

The Rage of Taratupa

While temporarily assigned to the 73 Crew, a lazy, pampered, rock and roll star is captured by a Japanese patrol, while out on maneuvers with McHale and The Crew, and holds a captive audience, making it easy for McHale and the guys to take prisoners.

30 min

Ensign Parker, E.S.P.

To keep Parker from being shipped out, McHale and The Crew try to help the Ensign raise a thousand bucks, to replace a string of pearls - A gift for Binghamton's Wife - That were destroyed as Parker tried to save the Captain from what he thought was an air raid.

30 min

The McHale Mob

Impressed by a gangster movie he's recently seen, Chief Urulu plays mob chieftain and refuses to sign the document allowing The Navy the use of McHale's island. So, McHale and the Crew, and even Binghamton, Carpenter, and Admiral Rogers, join forces, and play their own mobster game, to try to make Urulu change his mind.

30 min

Carpenter in Command

In temporary command of the base, while Binghamton recovers from a broken leg, and drunk with power, Carpenter gets the goods on The Crew, and has them up for Court Martial on several serious charges. McHale and Parker must then scheme to get Binghamton back in command, and The Boys off the hook.

30 min

Marryin' Chuck

Gruber and the guys pick up a few souvenirs, during a mission, unknowing that they're valuable items stolen by the Japanese, during the battle of Manila. When one of the items - A priceless antique tea set - Winds up as a wedding present for an Admiral's Daughter, McHale and The Crew must make a hasty trip to New Caledonia, where Parker must play the part of the officiating Chaplain, as part of a scheme to get it back.

30 min

The Dart Gun Wedding

Binghamton bows to pressure from the snobbish, swinging-bachelor Son of his former employer, in the hope of returning to his Stateside job, after the war. But, when the pressure becomes too great, The Captain conspires with McHale and the 73 Crew in a plan to get rid of him.

30 min

A Da-Da for Christy

Christy's little daughter is about to say her first words and his wife has arranged to have it broadcast to him via ham radio. Trouble begins when the crew tries to pick up the channel on an enemy radio, confiscated during a raid.

30 min