Hardly Working Season 7, Episode 8: My New Year’s Resolution Is to Get My Dick out of This Toaster

1

Your CrossFit Friends

They’re shredded in the head.

2 min

2

The Epic Bacon Boys: Internet Popularity Consultants

Scoot and Zipper advise your website on how to get mad hits.

3 min

3

You Have Got to Try Heroin

It’s more addictive than Game of Thrones.

2 min

4

Dude, Are You Gay?

Bro, your homophobia is showing.

2 min

5

Sex Dungeons and Dragons

Your deepest fantasies meet your favorite fantasy game.

3 min

6

Your “I Don’t Care about Sports” Friend

We all know an anti-sports robot.

3 min

7

How to Pretend You Like That Shitty Gift

Give the gift of lying.

3 min

8

My New Year’s Resolution Is to Get My Dick out of This Toaster

Reach for your dreams, and see what pops up.

3 min

9

The Guy Who’s Too Casual about Plans

He totally goes with the flow. Or not. He’ll let you know if he can.

3 min

10

Are We Ready to Go Yet?

I just gotta pee quick, and then I’ll be ready.

2 min

11

Damon Lindelof’s Mysteries Are Just Annoying

Who is our protagonist? What is his motivation?

3 min

12

Everyone’s High School Boyfriend

He doesn’t have a job, so he hangs out at yours.

3 min

13

If People Left Parties Like They Leave Facebook

It’s fine to just leave.

3 min

14

Why You’re More Successful than Steve Jobs

If at first you don’t succeed, just redefine success.

3 min

15

Are My Lady Parts Normal?

Your weird is my normal. Unless that’s weird.

3 min

16

How to Braid Your Hair Like in Game of Thrones

The perfect braid for getting decapitated.

3 min

17

If CrossFitters Took a Yoga Class

Relax your mind so you can destroy your body.

2 min

18

The Guy Who Had a “Crazy” Night

It was crazy, but also, it was insane.

3 min

19

The Worst Video Game Controller Ever Made

Ain’t no party like a third party because the third party makes terrible controllers.

3 min

20

What Happens When You Tell People You Can’t Eat Gluten

That’s so sad. Want a sandwich?

3 min

21

The Guy Who Listens by Interrupting You

It’s called hyperactive listening.

2 min

22

Wacky Hijinks from the 80s Comedies Were Mostly Rape

The ‘80s were a wacky, rape-y time.

3 min

23

If People Treated Personal Deaths Like Celebrity Deaths

This is actually affecting me. Weird!

2 min

24

When Not to Correct People’s Grammar

I before “e” especially after grief.

4 min

25

What It’s like Being on a Group Text

Just start a new fucking thread already.

2 min

26

10 Things to Do Before You Die

Because you never know when the end might come.

3 min

27

What We Do to Avoid Our Exes

You’ll never be safe (or happy) again.

3 min

28

The Secret Power of Periods

No one is safe from the sync.

1 min

29

The Guy Who’s Definitely Not Keeping Your Secret

Secrets, secrets are no fun, unless they are for – wait, don’t tell anyone!

3 min