Duckman Season 3, Episode 10: The Mallardian Candidate

1

Noir Gang

Feeling ""creatively obligated by a film-noir parody,"" Cornfed calls their new client ""a dame,"" whose name is Tamara La Boinque. Later he confesses to a priest about betraying his partner, when they both fall in love with their client.

2

Forbidden Fruit

Duckman is slapped with a sexual harassment charge by the French nanny that Bernice has hired to tutor the boys. It seems the nanny isn't who she appears to be. In search of solitude Duckman moves in with Fluffy and Uranus; even they reach their breaking point with him.

3

Grandma-ma's Flatulent Adventure

The family makes plans to put Grandma-ma in a rest home. While taking her there, Duckman gets distracted and loses track of her. Grandma-ma embarks on a flatulent adventure and later when Cornfed and Duckman find her, she appears to be dead. Duckman makes the funeral arrangements.

4

Color of Naught

Duckman again foils King Chicken's plot for revenge. This time King Chicken has produced a product that makes everything beautiful, everything except Duckman. The only problem being is that this product is actually a virus that de-evolves everything. Duckman must again battle King Chicken and save the world.

5

Sperms of Endearment

Bernice, Duckmans sister-in-law, decides she wants to have a child of her own. After trying the dating scene she decides to give artificial insemination a go. Due to a mis-communication and over abundance of, er, 'product', the service gives her Duckmans 'donation'. Hilarity ensues as Duckman and Bernice are incompatible in every [in] conceivable way.

6

A Room With a Bellevue

Duckman gets placed in a mental institution after pleading temporary insanity to a charge of public ranting. He likes the strict regimentation of the institution (compared to the anarchy and choas of outside the institution) so much that he decides to have himself permanently commited. Cornfed comes to rescue Duckman from the institution, but is to late as he has already been given shock treatment. Luckily Cornfed has a book on brain surgery and gets Duckman back to 'normal'.

7

Apocalypse Not

After the city gets attacked by one of Duckmans over-inflated dolls, the city decides to have an emergency drill where all the residents go underground till the drill passes. Duckman fails to know about the drill and has a city-wide 'party' (involving mass destrution) while all the residents are gone. Eventually the residents return to chase Duckman out of town.

8

Clear and Presidente Danger

Duckman and group win a trip to a third-world country. Duckman starts a revolution with his ranting and gets placed into power where he becomes as corrupt as the last rulling paty. This requires Cornfed to form a revolution and rescue Duckman and group.

9

The Girls of Route Canal

Charles and Mambo are in love and look to Duckman for advice. He tells them a Bridges of Madison County-esque story of how he and their mother met and fell in love.

10

The Mallardian Candidate

Former comedian Iggy Catalpa hires Duckman to investigate a conspiracy where the only evidence is a sock missing from his laundry. The conspirators capture Duckman and brainwash him into killing the only one who can stop them, Cornfed.

11

Pig Amok

(Willabald Feivel) Cornfed finds out from his father via a documentary co-written with Ken Burns, that he has a genetic disease that gives him a choice, either lose his virginity, or die in 24 hours. Duckman tries to help him out, but Bernice saves the day and Cornfed pledges his undying love. He becomes dejected when she rejects him and tries to commit suicide.

12

The Once and Future Duck

Ajax opens a rift in the time/space continuum with his clock radio. Duckman discovers from a future version of himself that his future hinges on Charles and Mambo's tuba recital. Unfortunately Duckman tries to use these visits from his future selves to make a his decisions and suddenly discover every little decision he makes has a big impact on his future.

13

The One With Lisa Kudrow in a Small Role (a.k.a. Planet of the Dopes)

Ajax is abducted by redneck aliens and taken to a planet where Duckman is praised as a deity and Ajax revered as ""The son of Dod.""

14

Aged Heat

A Grandma-ma look-a-like robber switches places with the her to make an escape. Duckman suspects that Grandma-ma isn't quite herself, of course no one believes him. The Agnes reveals herself and holds the family hostage.

15

They Craved Duckman's Brain!

Duckman is cast in a hospital educational film with Joe Walsh; for his part he is put into a MRI chamber. The film crew is thrown out of the lab and Duckman forgotten. Left too long in the chamber, a mutation occurs which a doctor identifies as a cure for cancer. Now everyone wants Duckman's brain for their own purposes. Meanwhile, Agnes is still impersonating Grandma-ma.

16

The Road to Dendron

A parody of the Hope/Crosby Road pictures is done in this episode as Duckman and Cornfed act as chaperones for Ajax's class trip to the Sudan. Ajax is kidnapped. Duckman and Cornfed must rescue Ajax from a Sultan, his Fakir and a beautiful princess.

17

Exile in Guyville

A young child is related the tale of how Duckman and Bernice led a nationwide division of sexes, all this because of his ad for lingerie. Duckman and the men move to the west coast. Bernice and the woman move to the east coast. The children have a different idea.

18

The Longest Weekend

Duckman and the neighbors get together to form an association after another neighborhood association appears to be getting preferential treatment from the city. Duckman is elected head of the association and he becomes Patton-like as the two neighborhood associations go to war. The civil war breaks out within their neighborhood association.

19

The Amazing Colossal Duckman

Through a unique combination of chemicals, Duckman gets a rare blood disease that causes him to grow several inches each time he gets angry and rants & raves. Realizing that he can't control himself after growing several feet, Duckman exiles himself to a desert island.

20

Cock Tales for Four

Duckman and Bernice go to meet the parent's of Ajax's girlfriend. The parents turn out to be ""King"" Chicken and his wife; surprisingly for the moment he and Duckman make up. Bernice and the ""King"" also mend their fence; however, Honey makes a play for Duckman to put things back to normal.