Beavis and Butt-Head Season 3, Episode 12: Sporting Goods

Comedians

Beavis and Butt-head decide to become stand-up comedians, perform at a comedy club, get booed and burn the place down.

10 min

Carwash

Needing money to replace the batteries in their TV remote control, Beavis and Butt-head offer to wash a neighbor's vintage car. They take it for a drive to air dry it, and get into an accident with Mr. Anderson.

10 min

Couch-Fishing

The boys reel in various things (and people) while casting from the couch, and then get Stewart in trouble with the law.

10 min

Incognito

After being threatened at school, Beavis and Butt-head wear disguises to class.

10 min

Kidnapped

Beavis and Butt-head want to go to a concert so they try to kidnap Stewart for ransom money...but quickly get sick of him.

21 min

Naked Colony

Without the $4,000 membership fee, Beavis and Butt-head must sneak into Sunny Grove Nudist Colony to see naked people.

Tornado

The boys go to a trailer park during a tornado and (almost) get to ""do it"" with Lolita & Tanqueray.

Cleaning House

Van Driessen has Beavis and Butt-head clean his house to learn about work and money; instead they learn that 8-track tapes aren't waterproof.

10 min

Scratch 'N' Win

The boys win the lottery and buy a riding lawn mower.

10 min

Scared Straight

Placed in a ""Scared Straight"" program at school, the boys visit a prison and thrash with some inmates who like Judas Priest and Iron Maiden.

12 min

Eating Contest

Beavis and Butt-head enter a bratwurst eating contest and end up having to feed frogs to earn the entrance fee.

10 min

Sperm Bank

Beavis and Butt-head find a new way to make money.

10 min

Buff 'N' Stuff

Buzzcut tries to get Beavis and Butt-head to work out.

10 min

Citizen Butt-head

Principal McVicker gives the boys a pass to keep them away from school during President Clinton's visit, but they end up meeting him and becoming Students of the Year.

21 min

Politically Correct

The boys watch the touching drama ""Joey Buttawipo: My Story;"" Mr. Van Driessen gives them informational books about getting in touch with their feminine sides; they run for Class Treasurer at school.

10 min

Ball Breakers

Beavis and Butt-head want to know what's inside a bowling ball, so they blow one up; Mr. Anderson gets blamed.

10 min

Beavis and Butt-head Meet God

After seeing hitch-hikers meet a chick on the Late, Late Movie ""Screwing Total Strangers,"" Beavis and Butt-head give it a try. Sunburned and seeing no chicks, they get into a van and are taken to a religious cult where they meet ""God"" -- a guy named Hank who has a knack for biblical movie quotes and...chick videos.

20 min

True Crime

Beavis and Butt-head find an ATM card, get some cash with it and get hunted by the law on TV.

10 min

The Trial

For throwing eggs at Mr. Anderson's house, Beavis and Butt-head are charged with trespassing and vandalism. Butt-head, guided by a vision of Doug Llewelyn of "The Pupil's Court," handles their defense.

11 min

The Crush

Beavis and Butt-head watch themselves on TV, mooning the camera during a news story about a local disaster; infatuated with a hoodlum named Todd, they take a bumpy ride in the trunk of his car as initiation into his gang.

11 min

Plate Frisbee

Beavis and Butt-head play frisbee with an antique plate belonging to Stewart's mom.

10 min

Canoe

The school psychiatrist requires Beavis, Butt-head and Stewart to go on a canoe trip, led by Mr. Van Driessen. Butt-head tells Beavis that this is Mr. Van Driessen's attempt at making ""his move"" on Beavis. A fight ensues, and the boys' canoe capsizes. While relieving themselves in the woods (wearing only underwear), they get poison ivy. Mr Van Driessen gets mauled by a bear.

11 min

Young, Gifted & Crude

The boys accidentally score highly on an IQ test and wind up in the gifted class, where they destroy an actual gifted kid's brain.

10 min

Foreign Exchange

Mr. Van Driessen picks the boys to chaperone Japanese foreign exchange student Hiroshi "Hiro" Nakayama; they teach him how to hock loogies, play mudball (which causes Mr. Anderson to have a Bataan flashback)...and flog his dolphin.

11 min

A Very Special Christmas With Beavis and Butt-head

Beavis and Butt-head watch the Yule Log on TV and decide that Christmas is cool.

23 min

Closing Time

Working the late shift at Burger World, the boys make up some special ""curly fries,"" find new a use for the ceiling fan and have a visit from the health inspector.

10 min

Most Wanted

The boys meet a tattooed, escaped serial killer who hears voices just like Beavis does.

21 min