Cheers Season 5, Episode 25: A House Is Not a Home

1

The Proposal

We finally found out who Sam's telephone proposal at the end of the last episode was to - Diane! But Diane fears that Sam is meerely on the rebound after breaking up with Janet, so asks him to repeat the proposal in a more romantic occasion, but when he does (on a boat), she refuses, causing Sam to make her walk the plank. Later Diane says she does want to get married, but Sam has now retracted the proposal.

24 min

2

The Cape Cad

Diane follows Sam to Cape Cod in an effort to ruin his weekend with another woman.

24 min

3

Money Dearest

Cliff's ecstatic when his mother decides to marry a wealthy man until the groom decides to give it all away to charity.

23 min

4

Abnormal Psychology

Diane tries to help Lilith, the lady psychologist attracted to Frasier, to soften her appearance and surprise Frasier during their television debate.

23 min

5

House of Horrors with Formal Dining and Used Brick

Cliff finds a reasonably priced older home for Carla to buy that turns out to be haunted.

24 min

6

Tan 'n' Wash

The gang insists on getting in on Norm's new business investment then complains bitterly when it looks like a washout.

23 min

7

Young Dr. Weinstein

Stung by Diane's attitude, Sam tries to impress her by getting reservations at the most exclusive restaurant in Boston.

24 min

8

Knights of the Scimitar

Cliff prods a reluctant Norm to join his lodge and Sam thinks Diane has invented a suitor to make him jealous.

24 min

9

Thanksgiving Orphans

The gang gathers at Carla's house for a Thanksgiving dinner of frozen turkey and overdone peas.

24 min

10

Everyone Imitates Art

Diane becomes obsessed with tracking down a poem she's sure Sam plagiarized and had published in a literary magazine that has repeatedly turned her work down.

23 min

11

The Book of Samuel

Woody delves into Sam's legendary black book to find a date to impress his former girl friend, who is coming to Cheers to introduce her fiancé.

24 min

12

Dance, Diane, Dance

Frasier's effort to lighten a dance instructor's harsh criticism of Diane's efforts backfires when she decides to audition for the Boston Ballet.

23 min

13

Chambers vs. Malone

Sam proposes to Diane again and ends up charged with assault and battery when she turns him down again.

24 min

14

Diamond Sam

Sam regrets trying to buy Diane an engagement ring that is a cheap imitation.

24 min

15

Spellbound

Diane and Carla console Loretta, who has caught Nick cheating on her. They counsel her to stand on her own two feet and leave Nick. When Nick comes into the bar to claim her back, a chivalrous Sam stands up for her. Nick takes that as a sign that Sam has stolen Loretta from him. So Nick threatens to steal the same from Sam, that being Diane. Nick makes an attempt to wine and dine Diane, then Loretta, then Carla and then any of the three who will give him the time of day. Meanwhile, Frasier, the chess expert, has met his match in simpleton Woody.

24 min

16

Never Love a Goalie (1)

Carla falls for Eddie, a hockey goalie; meanwhile, Diane is foreman of a jury in an attempted murder trial.

24 min

17

Never Love a Goalie (2)

Carla and Eddie are now in a relationship. Ever since Carla blew him the kiss and Eddie let in that cheap goal, Eddie has been on a slump. The most superstitious couple ever, Eddie and Carla analyze Eddie's life routine since the slump started, the only change in routine being Carla in his life. Not only does Carla come to the conclusion that she may be a jinx, but so does every one else in the bar. Carla has to decide to dump Eddie and have him regain his winning streak, or stay with Eddie at the price of the Bruins. Or is there another solution? Meanwhile, Diane is still at the trial and still talking to whoever will listen to her. Reminiscent of 12 Angry Men (1957), Diane stands alone in the jury as the dissenting voice thinking that the accused is guilty, comparing the relationship of the accused and his victim wife to Sam and herself. If she can't win in the court of law, she figures, out of a streak of good luck, that she can win outside the legal system.

24 min

18

One Last Fling

For the bachelor party the guys at the bar throw for Sam, Woody offhandedly asks Diane if she would be the girl who jumps out of the cake. Although she abhors such male sexual rituals, she agrees if only to stop someone else from "pleasuring" Sam. At the party, just as Diane is ready to come out of the cake, Norm makes a comment which makes Sam re examine out loud for the first time this wedding and the fact that Diane will now be the one and only woman in his life. After jumping out of the cake mad at Sam for his comments, Diane later offers Sam a proposition: she will give him a last 24-hours of freedom to do whatever he pleases with whomever he pleases. Sam excitedly agrees until Diane throws in that she too will have her last 24-hours of freedom to do whatever she pleases with whomever she pleases. Will Sam still go along with Diane's plan and if so what will he do and what will she do?

24 min

19

Dog Bites Cliff

On his postal route, Cliff is bitten by a dog, and decides to sue the owner for $200,000. Madeline, the dog's owner, ends up being a beautiful, voluptuous woman, but one that is up front about wanting to help Cliff despite the fact that she has little money. Cliff and Madeline start dating, the gang at the bar thinking that it only a ploy on her part for Cliff not to sue. Cliff realizes this is the case, but is still dating her in hopes of trading dropping the lawsuit for a roll in the sack. Madeline announces to everyone that her lawyer wants her to get Cliff to sign a waiver to absolve her of any responsibility, but she refuses to do so. Perhaps Madeline really does like Cliff. Or maybe she's got other methods of getting her way. Madeline and Cliff make it all the way to bed in a nice suite at the Ritz, when... Meanwhile, Diane is off on a Buddhist monastery retreat for a couple of weeks.

23 min

20

Dinner at Eight-ish

Frasier and Lilith invite Sam and Diane over for dinner to celebrate their first week of cohabitation. But things start going wrong when Lilith finds out Frasier and Diane were engaged, and she locks herself in the bathroom. Then Sam and Diane have an argument as well. Meanwhile Cliff agrees to babysit Carla's kids.

24 min

21

Simon Says

Diane badgers a noted British marriage counselor into seeing her and Sam for a pre-nuptial session, then refuses to heed his advice.

24 min

22

The Godfather, Part III

Sam's goddaughter Joyce Pantusso (the late Coach's niece) has come to Boston for a visit. Not wanting her to get into trouble, Sam asks Woody to help her out and show her around - but Woody and Joyce have a surprise for Sam when they get engaged!

23 min

23

Norm's First Hurrah

Norm elaborates on his new position with a top CPA firm and is caught in his little white lies when the gang decides to surprise him at work. Meanwhile Cliff finds a $20 note - and Woody has lost one.

23 min

24

Cheers: The Motion Picture

The gang tries to reassure a nervous Mr. and Mrs. Boyd back in Indiana that Woody is fine and has wonderful friends in Boston by making a home movie of an average day at Cheers.

24 min

25

A House Is Not a Home

Diane is haunted by the memories of the couple who lived a long and happy life together in the home she and Sam have purchased.

24 min

26

I Do, Adieu

Dr. Sumner Sloane returns to Cheers on Diane and Sam's wedding day to tell her that a publisher is interested in one of her class manuscripts if she can go to work immediately on rewrites.

24 min