Saturday Night Live Season 5, Episode 12: Kirk Douglas/Sam and Dave

1

Steve Martin/Blondie

Sketches include ""The Pope's Doorman,"" ""Craig's Travellers' Checks,"" ""Free Spanish Lesson,"" ""Juvenile Delinquent Vandal,"" ""Rise,"" ""Carole King,"" ""The David Susskind Show,"" ""Bolshoi Ballet,"" ""The All-New Mr. Bill Show,"" ""What the Hell is That?"". Blondie performs "Dreaming" and "The Hardest Part".

67 min

2

Eric Idle/Bob Dylan

Sketches include ""Eric's Sick,"" ""Hotel-Motel Art Fair,"" ""Mr. Howard's Shoe Store,"" ""Prince Charles Tells You How To Pick Up Girls!,"" ""Hardcore II,"" ""Heavy Sarcasm,"" and ""Ask Elvis."" Bob Dylan performs ""Gotta Serve Somebody,"" ""I Believe In You,"" and ""When You Gonna Wake Up.""

67 min

3

Bill Russell/Chicago

Sketches include ""Kennedy in '80,"" ""Banshee,"" ""The Black Shadow,"" ""The Landers Files,"" ""Mr. Bill at Home,"" ""Nick in the Arctic,"" ""Eleanor Roosevelt,"" ""Sports Hot Line,"" and ""Big n' Tall That's All."" Chicago performs their 1970 hit ""I'm a Man"" and their then-current single ""Street Player.""

67 min

4

Buck Henry/Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Sketches include ""Rush Home to the Bathroom,"" ""Find the Popes in the Pizza Contest drawing,"" ""Nerds #12,"" ""Harley's Bristol Cream"" and ""Banshee"" commercial parodies, and one of Aviva Slesin's ""First Love"" films.

67 min

5

Bea Arthur/The Roches

Sketches include ""Sex Change,"" ""The Backers' Audition,"" and ""First, He Cries.""

67 min

6

Howard Hesseman/Randy Newman

Sketches include the ""Steve Marvin Radio Show"" and the debut of ""The Al Franken Decade.""

67 min

7

Martin Sheen/David Bowie

Sketches include ""Quick Sex Change Operation,"" ""Le Shoe,"" ""Afraid of the Dark,"" ""Striking Teachers,"" ""Apocolypse Now,"" ""First Love, Part 2,"" ""Foreveready,"" ""Criminals,"" ""Minota AM-3 Camera,"" ""Revisions of Freudian History,"" ""Martin Sheen Hairspray""

67 min

8

Ted Knight/Desmond Child and Rouge

Sketches include A Christmas Gift from The Shah, Nerds Nativity, and Java Junkie.

67 min

9

Teri Garr/The B-52's

Sketches include ""Paul McCartney in Japan: Day 11,"" ""Craig's,"" ""Somewhere Near Mason City, Iowa,"" ""Debs Behind Bars,"" ""Anchovy Council of America,"" ""Bad Playhouse,"" ""Baby Casting Director,"" and ""The Mr. Bill Show."" The B-52's perform ""Rock Lobster"" and ""Dance This Mess Around.""

67 min

10

Chevy Chase/Marianne Faithfull

Live from New York, it's…Chevy Chase! Sketches include ""Henry Kissinger and Gerald Ford,"" ""Pre-Chewed Charlies,"" The Bel Airabs, ""You Can't Win,"" Speaking of Fashion, ""Linden Palmer, Hollywood's Forgotten Director,"" and ""Honduras.""

67 min

11

Elliott Gould/Gary Numan

Sketches include ""Kramer vs. Godzilla,"" ""The Incredible Man,"" Andy Aaron's film ""Get Rid of That Building,"" and ""All-Time Radio.""

67 min

12

Kirk Douglas/Sam and Dave

Sketches include ""Kirk's Greatest Kirks,"" ""What If?,"" ""Arlene Meets Kirk Douglas,"" ""Greg's Bar Mitzvah,"" ""Prime Time Saturday,"" and ""Mask of Fear""

67 min

13

Rodney Dangerfield/J. Geils Band

Sketches include-- Dressing Room opening, Dr. Shockley's House of Sperm, Niggerands, Manhasset, The Subsitute Judge, Celebrity Corner: Bill Murray talks with Jerry Mathers and Tony Dow.

67 min

14

Paul Simon/James Taylor

Sketches include ""Anniversary Seance,"" ""Todd's Campaign,"" ""The Biggest Leprechaun,"" ""The Flogging Musicians,"" ""Talk or Die,"" and ""The David Susskind Show."" Paul Simon and James Taylor perform ""Cathy's Clown / Take Me to the Mardi Gras"" and David Sanborn performs ""Anything You Want.""

67 min

15

Richard Benjamin, Paula Prentiss/The Grateful Dead

Sketches include ""Women Empowerment"" and ""Hotel Room/Smell You.""

67 min

16

Burt Reynolds/Anne Murray

Sketches include ""Burt's Not Angry,"" ""Vomitorium,"" ""The Burt Book,"" ""Be a Pepper,"" and ""Baba Wawa at Large."" Anne Murray performs ""Lucky Me.""

67 min

17

Strother Martin/The Specials

The host for the episode is Strother Martin, and the musical guest is The Specials. The skits for this episode are as follows: Rosalyn Carter talks about sections of the 1980 census intended for illegal aliens, including questions about how they got into the US, where they would hide if the INS came to their homes, and how much they would be willing to do housework for. During his opening monologue, Strother Martin reveals that he was asked to host the show because Lorne Michaels mistook him for Tennessee Williams, and so far he's been keeping up the act. At Camp Beau Soleil, the campers are forced to learn French by the brutal camp counselor, Le Capitain, but a camper named Luke is determined to escape. Additional skits include a variety show will, the Conductor's Club, Any Town, and Food. The Specials perform "Gangsters" and "Too Much, Too Young".

67 min

18

Bob Newhart/The Amazing Rhythm Aces, Bruce Cockburn

Sketches include ""Mysteries of the Universe,"" ""The Dating Zone,"" ""Writing Home,"" and ""Mr. Bill."" The Amazing Rhythm Aces (featuring Bill Murray) perform ""Third-Rate Romance.""

67 min

19

Steve Martin/Paul and Linda McCartney

Sketches include: ""Father Guido Sarducci, Live from London,"" ""Real Incredible People,"" ""Stretch Marks Record Offer,"" ""Reagan's Dinner,"" and ""The Hominids."" 3-D performed ""All-Night Television.""

67 min

20

Buck Henry/Andrew Gold

Live from New York, it's Harry Shearer! Sketches include "Election '80: Almost Halfway Over," "The SNL Stars of the Future" monologue, "Lord and Lady Douchebag," "Uncle Roy," and "Nick at Trader Nick's."

67 min