That's Life Season 1, Episode 23: Chalk Can Be Sexy

1

How We Met

On the series premiere we learn how Robert Dickson met Gloria Quigley. The match was arranged by Cupid, George Burns, who first had to show Gloria how marriage to a dream ideal husband, Rodney Wonderful played by Tony Randall, would be dull, dull, dull. They meet in a discotheque where the rock group The Turtles are playing. Also appearing is Maureen Arthur as Bubbles LaTour. Songs included: Pardon Me, Haven't We Met Before? - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / Do I Hear a Waltz? - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / The Glory of Love - George Burns / Baby, That's Life - Robert Morse / The Girl That I Marry - Robert Morse / Eleanor - The Turtles / The Battle of the Bands - The Turtles.

60 min

2

Bachelor Days

This episode recounts how Bobby decided to pop the question-and how a friend of Gloria's schemed to help things along. Songs included: Marriage Blues - Nancy Wilson / It Must Be Him - E.J. Peaker / Embarrassment of Riches - Robert Morse / Our Love Is Here To Stay - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / The Two Of Us - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / To Get A Man - Nancy Wilson & E.J. Peaker.

60 min

3

Our Wedding

Robert Dickson will marry Gloria Quigley tonight, but first a visit to the city licemse bureau finds Robert having second thoughts. Then it's time to meet the folks, Shelley Berman and Kay Medford, who are as unprepared to lose their daughter as they ate to gain a son. Maybe the couple will follow the sage counsel of Gloria's fahter: ""Elope!"" Songs included: Once in A Lifetime - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / Behind Every Man - Shelley Berman / Do You Love Me? - Shelley Berman / Married - Michele Lee / Hey Big Spender - Michele Lee / Follow the Arrows - Tony Mordente Dancers.

60 min

4

The Honeymoon

To those who know, and even to those who don't, a honeymoon is a familiar, sometimes funny experience. To Robert and Gloria it's almost a disaster: Gloria's mother intrudes; and then there's Gloria's cooking...Alan King appears as a headwaiter and Robert Goulet shows up to entertain. Songs included: You'd Be So Nice to Come Home To - Robert Goulet / I'll Take Romance - Robert Goulet / Tip Toe Through the Tulips - Robert Goulet / Getaway - Robert Morse, E.J. Peaker & Dancers / It's Just a Physical Attraction - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker.

60 min

5

Buying The House

Everyone knows about New York's housing shortage-except Bobby and Gloria. Tonight they learn to dicipher classified ads from Lee Tully; discover the secrets of an ""enchanted cottage"" owned by an incredible Sid Caesar and Betty White; and cope with glad handing real estate agent Paul Lynde. Songs include: A Place to Live - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / A Simple House - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / Baby, Dream Your Dream - Robert Morse / People - Paul Lynde / Build - Robert Morse, E.J. Peaker & Paul Lynde.

60 min

6

Moving In

Newlyweds Robert and Gloria thought it would be so simple: just buy the house and move in, right? Wrong. It takes a heap o' livin' to make a house a home so they call in a grudgingly affable painter, Lou Jacobi, hire a bold-as-brass decorator, Ethel Merman-and then Robert has to wheedle a furniture loan out of a lecherous and bureaucratic Mr. Faversham, Terry-Thomas. Songs included: Walking Happy - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / Everything's Coming Up Roses - Ethel Merman / Class - Ethel Merman / Look at That Face - Robert Morse & Terry-Thomas / You Owe It All to Us - Ethel Merman, Terry-Thomas & Lou Jacobi.

60 min

7

Life in Suburbia

Alan King, Morey Amsterdam, Peggy Cass and Hines, Hines & Dad - who else would you need to disrupt a quiet weekend? A quiet weekend is, in fact, what Robert and Gloria had planned. But before you can say ""togetherness,"" suburban comaraderie and neighborly neighbors combine to make a week at the office seem like a picnic. Alan King offers his traditional specialty - a pointedly satiric antisuburban monologe. Songs included: Guys and Dolls / It's a Lovely Day Today / Strike Up the Band / That's What I Call Livin' / Have a Good Day / No Mornin' Like Monday Mornin'.

60 min

8

Our First Baby

""Our First Baby"" is a musical fantasy set in heaven's Baby Department. Robert and Gloria think they're expecting. The problem in heaven is that the baby dispatcher can't convince Robert, Jr. that it's time to be born. Songs included: He's Got the Whole World in His Hands - Mahalia Jackson / God's Love Bubbles in My Heart - Mahalia Jackson / Instructions to a Prospective Father - Robert Morse / Gee, But She's Nice - Robert Morse.

60 min

9

The Ninth Month

Bobby and Gloria are anxiously awaiting the arrival of their first child-but first it's ""the nine month nuttsies""-Gloria's convinced that Bobby doesn't love her anymore; hectic last minute shopping, with Kaye Stevens as a very pregnant shopper; an encounter with an overbearing nurse, Shelley Winters; and a father to be lesson with Bill Dana as the teacher. Songs included: The Way You Look Tonight - Robert Morse / The Nine Months - Kaye Stevens / Daddy, You've Been a Mother to Me - Robert Morse, Bill Dana & Chorus.

60 min

10

Bringing Baby Home

""Bringing Baby Home"" gives Robert two new mouths to feed - Robert, Jr. and Gloria's mother, who moves in bent on baby raising. Sid Caesar is featured as Robert, Jr. who presents the infant view of life, and as a daydreaming milkman. Also appearing are The Muppets. Songs include: It Better Be a Boy - Robert Morse & Chorus / We've Got a Long Way to Go - Robert Morse / Daddy Day - Chorus / The Greatest Show on Earth - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker.

60 min

11

Bobby's Pink Slip

Automation takes over as Bobby's fired by his boss, Paul Ford. Searching for work he runs into another job seeker, Jackie Vernon, interviewer Vikki Carr and aptitude tester Phil Silvers. Songs included: Anything You Can Do - Robert Morse & computer / Pick Yourself Up - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / I Like People - Vikki Carr / Adjust - Robert Morse & Phil Silvers.

60 min

12

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Bobby and Gloria are besieged by a host of Christmas problems...the annual gift list, myriad Christmas wrappings, a disgusted store clerk, Paul Lynde, an office party where secretary Liza Minnelli defends herself by singing, and the cajolery of their neighbor, Guy Marks. Songs included: Bah Humbug - Paul Lynde / A Secretary is Not a Toy - Liza Minnelli.

60 min

13

Our First Christmas

Christmas Eve at the Dicksons' is highlighted by a stream of visitors...a neigbor, Leslie Uggams; delivery man, Rodney Dangerfield; and a host of carolers, The Doodletown Pipers. Also appearing are the Bil Baird Puppets and vaudeville comedian Joe Jackson, Jr. Songs included: What the World Needs Now - Leslie Uggams / All You Need for Christmas is People and Love - The Doodletown Pipers / Reach Out of the Darkness - The Doodletown Pipers.

60 min

14

Happy New Year

Tonight's guest stars join Bobby at the country club's New Year's Eve party. Songs included: Dear World - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / Yesterday's Rain - Spanky and Our Gang / Ridin' High - Mel Torme / Look at That Face - Mel Torme / King of the Road - Mel Torme / That's Entertainment - Tony Mordente Dancers.

60 min

15

Sex and the Married Man

""Sex and the Married Man"" finds Bobby at a convention with pal Lenny, Dick Shawn, where he meets a showgirl friend, Goldie Hawn. Meanwhile, back at home, Gloria gets the word about convention jaunts from a t.v. repairman, Norm Crosby, and decides to see for herself what Bobby's up to. Songs included: Ain't Misbehavin' - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / I've Got Your Number - Goldie Hawn / Don't Take Your Wife - Dick Shawn & Chorus / Why Won't Anybody Marry Me? - Goldie Hawn & Robert Morse.

60 min

16

January 21, 1969

Gloria discovers that a cold ""is nothing to sneeze at"" when hypochondriac Bobby developes one. Bobby's mother, Agnes Moorehead, moves in to nurse ""her baby"" back to health; health food store owner Phil Harris suggests that Bobby needs a better diet; and concerned friend Charley, Rodney Dangerfield, dispenses unsolicited medical advice. Songs included: I'm the Bravest Individual I Have Ever Met - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / Something's Gotta Give - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / Whatever You Eat - Phil Harris / You're Grown Up Now - Agnes Moorehead / I'm Alive, I'm a-Tingle, I'm a-Glow - Robert Morse / You Make Us Feel So Young - Tony Mordente Dancers.

60 min

17

Our First Vacation

Bobby's vacation was going to be nice and quiet-until his in-laws, Berman & Medford, suggested a family jaunt to Florida. The chaotic drive south finds Bobby in the driver's seat-and under the hood. Once at the hotel, Bobby learns that hypochondriacs make strange bedfellows; and is pestered by a veteran Florida vacationer, Henny Youngman; and finds relief when he is entertained by Little Anthony and the Imperials. Songs included: We're Having the Time of Our Lives - Robert Morse, E.J. Peaker, Shelley Berman & Kay Medford / At Your Beck and Call - Tony Mordente Dancers / How Can Anyone Live with You? - Robert Morse & Shelley Berman / One Bikini, Two Bikini - Robert Morse / A Room Without Windows - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / This Is the Life - Little Anthony and the Imperials.

60 min

18

Our First Fight

Bobby and Gloria enter the ring for their first fight-and Gloria leaves. Round two finds Bobby's pal, Frank Gorshin, scheming to win Gloria back for him. At a bar for round three Bobby listens to the singing of Louis Armstrong and observes the perfect couple, Stiller & Meara, in action. Songs included: Cabaret - Louis Armstrong / The Back-of-Town Blues - Louis Armstrong / First Fight - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / Why Can't A Woman Be More Like A Man? - Robert Morse & Frank Gorshin / I'll Never Give In - E.J. Peaker.

60 min

19

What's He Got That I Haven't Got?

When one of Gloria's former beaus, played by Doug McClure, visits, a slow burning Robert sits by as the two reminisce. But a sympathetic friend, Norm Crosby, has a plan for revenge-a ""chance"" meeting between Gloria and Robert's sexy old flame, Totie Fields. Songs included: What Did She Ever See in Him? - Robert Morse & Doug McClure / Girls of Yesterday - Robert Morse / Sexy Me - Totie Fields / 'S Wonderful - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / I'm Your Pussycat - Tony Mordente Dancers.

60 min

20

You Never Take Me Anyplace

This episode finds Robert and Gloria painting the town red. En route they bump into Sid Caesar, playing a gypsy violinist and a money hungry maitre d'; Leslie Uggams and Milt Kamen, playing a New York theatre vendor. Songs included: The Trolley Song – Leslie Uggams / If My Friends Could See Me Now – Leslie Uggams / The Very Thought of You – Leslie Uggams / We're Old – Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / A Vicious Cycle – Tony Mordente Dancers / Noises at an Intermission – Tony Mordente Dancers.

60 min

21

Gloria Does Her Thing

Housewife Gloria gets out of her rut and into a groove - by embarking on an acting career. Offering helpful hints and advice along the way are a self impressed director/leading man, Tony Randall; a milkman, Rodney Dangerfield; and Chita Rivera. Songs included: Fascinating Rhythm - Chita Rivera / Just a Wife - Robert Morse, E.J. Peaker & Dancers / I'm Everything to You - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / Baby, That's Life - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / Your Director - Tony Randall / You Oughta Be in Pictures - Tony Randall.

60 min

22

Two Weeks Out With the Boys

This episode finds Private Bobby at an Army Reserve camp. Menaced by two non-coms (Wally Cox & Louis Nye) Bobby's only relief comes from the USO entertainment by singer-dancer Linda Bennett. Songs included: Little Green Apples - Robert Morse / Bye Bye Baby - Robert Morse & E.J. Peaker / It's Great to Be in the Army - Robert Morse & Dancers / Pass the Buck - Robert Morse, Wally Cox & Louis Nye / The More I See You - Linda Bennett / Do It Again - Linda Bennett / Wait Till You See Him - E.J. Peaker.

60 min

23

Chalk Can Be Sexy

Bobby sets out to revolutionize the chalk industry after he's tagged as a company junior executive. Ever ready with helpful hints: pushy secretary Phyllis Diller and her pretty boy husband Jack Cassidy. Also appearing is impressionist John Byner. Songs included: Nothing Can Stop Me Now - Robert Morse & Dancers / It's Gotta Have Sex - Phyllis Diller / I Want to Put You Away - Jack Cassidy / There She Is - Robert Morse & Jack Cassidy.

60 min

24

Happy Anniversary

Gloria's parents make a return appearance for their 25th wedding anniversary. The plan, which goes awry: A bash at Ruby Tremont's Catering Emporium. Songs included: Ruby Tremont's Catering Emporium - Shelley Winters & Dancers / I Hate Men - Kay Medford & Dancers / I Was Never Cut Out to be Married - Shelley Berman & Robert Morse / Happy Anniversary - Shelley Berman & Kay Medford / Something Wonderful - E.J. Peaker.

60 min

25

Baby's First Birthday

Baby's first birthday is bound to be memorable...party entertainment is being supplied by a magician, Carl Ballantine; friend Charley has rounded up all the neighborhood kids; and Bobby and Gloria have purchased a gift from a zany pet store owner, Paul Lynde. Songs included: Our Son is 1 - Robert Morse, E.J. Peaker & Dancers / Young at Heart - Robert Morse / Everybody Should Have a Bird - Paul Lynde / Got Any Jobs for Me? - Tony Mordente Dancers.

60 min

26

Gloria Plays Cupid

Take one unmarried girlfriend, Ruth Buzzi, who loves to cook, add a confirmed bachelor, Jackie Vernon, who loves food and fishing. What have you got? A perfect match, according to Gloria. John Gary also appears as a night club entertainer. Songs included: For Once in My Life - John Gary / Georgia on My Mind - John Gary / Come to Me, Bend to Me - John Gary / The Marriage Bug - Robert Morse & Men / A Husband Is the Thing You Really Need - E.J. Peaker & Girls / Stella's Complaint - Ruth Buzzi / Hernando's Hideaway - Ruth Buzzi & Jackie Vernon.

60 min

27

Our Wedding

Repeat of an episode that originally aired October 08, 1968.

60 min

28

The Honeymoon

Repeat of an episode that originally aired October 15, 1968.

60 min

29

Buying The House

Repeat of an episode that originally aired October 22, 1968.

60 min

30

The Ninth Month

Repeat of an episode that originally aired November 26, 1968.

60 min

31

Sex and the Married Man

Repeat of an episode that originally aired January 7, 1969.

60 min

32

What's He Got That I Haven't Got?

The final telecast of ""That's Life"" was a repeat of an episode that originally aired February 11, 1969. The time slot was filled with the thrice weekly ""The Dick Cavett Show"" for the remainder of the summer.

60 min