The Munsters Season 2, Episode 23: Cyrano de Munster

1

Herman’s Child Psychology

Eddie is upset that his family does not treat him cruelly because he thinks this means they don’t care about him. When Eddie decides to run away from home, Herman employs a little child psychology, which naturally backfires. Various circumstances eventually lead to Herman’s getting involved with a dancing bear.

2

Herman, the Master Spy

In this Cold War episode, a Russian fishing trawler picks up a scuba-diving Herman in its haul of fish and mistakes him for the missing link. The crew members report their find to Moscow, claiming it puts the Soviets ahead in the “missing link race”. The response from the Commissar is that Herman is an American spy.

3

Bronco-Bustin’ Munster

In yet another example of Eddie’s misguided regard for his father’s natural abilities, the young Munster enters Herman’s name in the bucking bronco contest at the local rodeo. Lily is unable to talk Herman out of such a dangerous task: he is intent on being a hero to his son in spite of the fact that he’s scared stiff. Meanwhile, the promoters plan to have Herman ride a horse that is guaranteed to break every bone in his body.

4

Herman Munster, Shutter Bug

Herman takes up amateur photography and accidentally snaps a picture of two men making their escape from a bank robbery. Herman has visions of getting a big reward for his evidence, but the bank robbers track him down and decide to hold up with the Munsters until the heat is off. This episode revisits the show’s recurrent fascination with criminality, especially bank robberies.

5

Herman, Coach of the Year

When Eddie is called Lead Foot by the other kids on his track team, Herman offers to become his athletic coach. While demonstrating his out-of-this-world prowess in shot put, discus-throwing and pole-vaulting, Herman causes untold destruction and makes a fool of himself. Grandpa decides to come to the rescue by creating a magic speed pill that will make Eddie a champion runner.

6

Happy 100th Anniversary

Herman and Lily want to buy each other an elaborate gift for their 100th Anniversary. Without telling each other, they both take night jobs as ship welders. Since the job requires them to wear protective helmets that conceal their faces, they don’t realize whom they’re dealing with when they start flirting with each other.

7

Operation Herman

When Herman visits the hospital to see Eddie, who is having his tonsils out, he is mistaken for an accident victim and is immediately given a dose of laughing gas. Grandpa rescues him and brings him home, where Lily assumes that Herman has been drinking.

8

Lily’s Star Boarder

Herman becomes insanely jealous of Chester, a mysterious boarder whom Lily has bought into the household in yet another of her schemes to acquire a little extra cash. After searching Chester’s room, Herman concludes that he’s a gangster. In fact, he is a lieutenant for the police department.

9

John Doe Munster

A 300-pound safe drops on Herman’s head, causing him to develop amnesia. In order to get him released into her custody, Lily petitions the court to adopt Herman as her son. Until he restores his memory, he is treated as Eddie’s brother John.

10

A Man for Marilyn

To provide poor unfortunate Marilyn with a future husband, Grandpa tries to turn a frog into a prince. Conveniently, he chooses a nearsighted frog who won’t be put off by Marilyn’s hideous looks. Not realizing that the potion has failed, Grandpa and Herman mistake a passing stranger for their princely frog.

11

Herman’s Driving Test

Herman gets promoted to hearse driver and has to renew his driver’s license. This requires him to take a road test, which he fails. Grandpa convinces him that he’d have better luck taking the test in a one-horse town. He turns out to be extremely correct.

12

Will Success Spoil Herman Munster?

Eddie borrows a tape recorder belonging to the disc-jockey father of one of his friends. Herman records a version of DRY BONES, accompanying himself on the guitar. The following day, the disc jockey plays the song on his radio show – and it becomes an instant hit. Herman identifies himself as the mystery singer and quickly turns into an egomaniacal would-be celebrity. Grandpa comes to the rescue with his Nothin’ Muffins.

13

Underground Munster

The Munsters’ pet Spot runs away from home and is mistaken for a dangerous monster when he is sighted in the sewer. When Herman goes down the manhole to search for Spot, he too is mistaken for a dangerous monster. The Mayor vows to rid the city of these menaces by using TNT.

14

The Treasure of Mockingbird Heights

While searching for a fuse box in the dungeon, Herman and Grandpa discover a secret chamber and a clue to the pirate treasure hidden on the Munsters’ property.

15

Herman’s Peace Offensive

Herman advises Eddie to turn the other cheek when he gets pushed around by a bully. Shortly thereafter, Herman is the victim of a practical joke at work. Grandpa takes the situation in hand by teaching both Eddie and Herman how to box.

16

Herman Picks a Winner

Herman tries to teach Eddie a lesson about the folly of gambling: he takes the money in Eddie’s piggy bank and bets it on a long shot at the racetrack. When the horse comes in a winner, it ruins the point of Herman’s lesson and leads to his entanglement with organized crime.

17

Just Another Pretty Face

Herman is struck in the head by a bolt of lightning from one of Grandpa’s experiments. It causes him to become so disfigured that he ends up resembling officer Francis Muldoon from CAR 54, WHERE ARE YOU? (or how Fred Gwynne looks without makeup). Lily hopes to restore Herman’s old face with plastic surgery.

18

Big Heap Herman

The Munsters are heading for a vacation in Buffalo Valley when Herman gets off for a rest stop at Indian Flats. He wanders into the village of an Indian tribe that specializes in luring the tourist trade. The tribe’s eldest member mistakes Herman for an ancient spirit leader.

19

The Most Beautiful Ghoul in the World

With inheritance money from Cousin Wolverine, Grandpa and Herman develop an invention for transporting an electrical current without wires. Lily and Marilyn use the rest of the money to operate their own beauty salon. Both endeavors turn out to be disasters, causing various parties to take legal action.

20

Grandpa’s Lost Wife

A lady in Sioux City, Iowa, has placed an advertisement offering a reward for the return of her lost husband, who is Grandpa. Grandpa claims to have never seen this woman before in his life – but when he discovers that she’s filthy rich, he’s ready to sign an affidavit stating that she is his spouse.

21

The Fregosi Emerald

Eddie gives Marilyn a ring he found in the attic as a birthday present. Grandpa recognizes it as the Fregosi Emerald, a centuries-old ring with a Transylvanian curse. Herman doesn’t believe in such a silly superstition; he is intent on proving that the ring does not bring about bad luck. He quickly regrets trying to do this.

22

Zombo

Eddie, an avid fan of ghoulish TV host Zombo, becomes the winner of the “Why I Like Zombo Contest” and gets to be on the Zombo show. Herman becomes jealous of Eddie’s new hero and wants to appear equally outlandish. But his efforts to impress his son fail. Eddie eventually learns that Zombo is not a real person but a phony character played by an actor.

23

Cyrano de Munster

After Herman has his poetry published in The Mortician Monthly, a shy coworker named Clyde asks him to compose love letters to help him attract the attention of a young lady he’s fallen for. Herman obliges, but soon Lily discovers samples of this mushy writing and becomes suspicious. After a re-enactment of the “hiding in the bushes” scene from CYRANO DE BERGERAC, the object of Clyde’s desire falls for Herman. Meanwhile, Herman mistakenly suspects that Clyde’s object of desire is Lily.

24

The Musician

Grandpa’s magic transforms Eddie from a rotten trumpet player into a classical music virtuoso. But when he needs to duplicate the potion for a command performance for Herman’s boss, Grandpa can’t remember the exact formula. Eddie is accidentally turned into a jazz-playing, jive-talking hipster.

25

Prehistoric Munster

Herman has his ego flattered twice by his family. First, Eddie wants to enter him in the Father of the Year Contest. Next, Marilyn wants to sculpt a clay bust in his likeness. When she tells her art professor that the sculpture represents a living person, he plans to make a bundle from his discovery of a missing link. Herman is summoned to his office for an examination, but he’s under the impression he’s about to receive an award and a bunch of neat prizes.

26

A Visit From Johann

Dr. Victor Frankenstein IV from Germany visits Mockingbird Heights and brings with him Johann, Herman’s look-alike cousin. Johann is quite primitive and behaves like the Frankenstein monster from the movies. It is up to Herman to try to civilize him and teach him English. Lily is not informed of this; mistaking Johann for Herman, she takes him away for a romantic weekend getaway.

27

Eddie’s Brother

Eddie longs for the companionship of a younger brother, so Grandpa builds him a robot named Boris. Eddie becomes resentful of this silent, mechanical boy who is so considerate and well-behaved that he garners all of Herman’s attention and admiration.

28

Herman, the Tire-Kicker

Herman buys a convertible for Marilyn from a fly-by-night used-car dealer named Fair Deal Dan. Once he gets it home, it explodes into a piece of junk. Herman later finds out that the car is a stolen piece of junk when he is placed under arrest.

29

A House Divided

A massive argument erupts between Grandpa and Herman after Herman accidentally destroys a go-cart the two of them constructed for Eddie. Since Grandpa claims to own half of the house, Herman draws a white line down its center and insists that Grandpa remain on his side of the line.

30

Herman’s Sorority Caper

To cure Herman of his hiccoughs, Grandpa puts him into a trance with the Transylvanian Brain Freeze. Meanwhile, a couple of fraternity pledges are sent to spend a night in the Munster house as part of their initiation. Thinking that sleeping Herman is a dummy, they bring him to a sorority house, where he awakens from his trance.

31

Herman’s Lawsuit

Herman is struck by a car. He isn’t hurt, but the car that struck him is totaled. The uninjured driver assumes she has disfigured Herman, and her attorney suggests that she try to settle with him for $10,000. When Herman receives the offer, he wrongly assumes that this is the amount he owes for the damage he caused to the car. He runs away from home rather than face the problem of financial ruin for his family.

32

A Visit From the Teacher

When Eddie reads a school composition entitled “My Parents – An Average American Family” to his class, his teacher believes the boy is exhibiting symptoms of an overactive imagination. The school principal suggests that Eddie’s wild exaggerations might be motivated by an underprivileged home life. It is decided that a visit to the Munster home is in order.