The Beverly Hillbillies Season 3, Episode 14: Clampett General Hospital

1

Jed Becomes a Movie Mogul

Drysdale buys a movie studio, Mammoth Pictures, for Jed, and the Clampetts decide to go check out their new property. At first they can’t get in, but they finally succeed. They meet Lawrence Chaplin, the head of Mammoth Pictures, who refers to Jed as a Zucker and a Roach, and Jed admires him for saying it to his face.

25 min

2

Clampett City

Because Mammoth Pictures is losing money, Drysdale decides to tear down the studio and turn it into Clampett City. The Clampetts are excited about getting a town and streets named after them, and when they go to explore their town, they come to a Western set, which they fall in love with.

25 min

3

Clampett City General Store

The Clampetts move into the Western street on their movie studio, but Drysdale tries to stop them. He gets the Clampetts a role in a new picture about Cleopatra and Nero, with Jethro as Caesar, Elly as a martyr who gets thrown to the lions and Granny as Cleopatra. However, Elly makes friends with the lion and Granny gets Nero drunk on elderberry wine.

25 min

4

Hedda Hopper's Hollywood

Mammoth Pictures is in danger of getting torn down, but Hedda Hopper wants to save it. She shows Jed the legacy of the stars of the studio, who stuck their hand prints in cement for the Walk of Fame. Misunderstanding this, Jed works to fill the prints in with wet cement.

25 min

5

Doctor Jed Clampett

Jed gets an honorary doctorate when he donates money to a college, and the family thinks he is now a legit doctor. However, Granny isn’t pleased with hearing that Jed is now a real college doctor because she didn’t go to college. Granny does her best to get a degree herself, but doesn’t find much success.

25 min

6

Jed the Heartbreaker

Mrs. Drysdale is tired of the Clampetts, especially Granny, who keeps scraping with her. When Miss Jane tells her of a beautiful movie starlet who threw herself at Jed and how Jed stopped going to his movie studio when he found out she was married, she plans a scheme herself. Mrs. Drysdale decides to throw herself at Jed to get him and his family to move away from Beverly Hills.

25 min

7

Back to Marineland

Jethro wants to serve his country as a 007 spy. When he is dissuaded from this, he has to decide what branch of the military to join. Granny gets him to join the Marines because she still wants to catch the whale she saw a year ago.

25 min

8

Teenage Idol

Rock 'n' roll idol Johnny Poke visits the Clampetts while in town to play the Hollywood Bowl. Granny's not too happy about it; she's worried Jethro will pick up his bad habits. Granny loses her temper and thinks she turned Jethro into a puppy when she says he needs to be taught a lesson.

25 min

9

The Widow Poke Arrives

Granny flies widow Emma Poke out to Beverly Hills to match-make with Jed. She figures she can trick Jed into marriage, though Jed finds out what is going on. However, Jed doesn’t want to marry her, and it turns out that Emma doesn’t want to marry him.

25 min

10

The Ballet

Mrs. Drysdale gets Jed to back the Beverly Hills Ballet Company, and Jed figures that ballet is the perfect way to keep Granny, who is tired of getting “butler sassed,” among other things, in Beverly Hills. Jed gets her interested in the dance just as Mrs. Drysdale gets the money she needs to save the ballet company.

25 min

11

The Boarder

Granny decides to start her own boarding house. The Clampetts put out signs welcoming any incoming boarders and advertising what they offer. When the Drysdale's new butler, Arthur Pinckney, arrives in town he thinks the signs are meant as a welcome for him so he goes to the Clampetts' mansion.

25 min

12

The Boarder Stays

Pinckney, the Drysdale's new butler, finds no success in his attempts at molding the Clampetts into high society people. He runs out, planning to return to England. Meanwhile, the Clampetts, who think Pinckney is their boarder, are mad that he ran out on them. They decide to keep the boarding house open, but change a few things—pay up front.

25 min

13

Start the New Year Right

When the Clampetts learn that Mrs. Drysdale is in the hospital, they decide to visit her to make sure she is doing well. Little do they know, she is there to spite her husband, and won’t leave until the Clampetts have moved away from Beverly Hills. At the hospital, the Clampetts try to make her room more cheerful while she is sleeping, even moving the bed so it faces the window.

25 min

14

Clampett General Hospital

Mrs. Drysdale wakes up to find she is no longer in the hospital but in her one hell—the Clampett mansion. After hearing she’s missing, her husband wants to sue the hospital. But when Jed and Jethro visit to return the mattress Mrs. Drysdale was on when they brought her home, the mystery of what happened is solved.

25 min

15

The Movie Starlet

Jethro falls for a movie starlet, Kitty Devine, who is not interested in him. But when she discovers that his uncle owns the studio and could get her better roles than beach babes in surfer movies, she takes interest. While at the mansion, Kitty does her best to get Jed to notice her and tries to convince him she is capable of roles that could make her a star.

25 min

16

Elly in the Movies

Elly gets a job at Jed’s movie studio, though Granny and Jane are against it. Both are worried about Elly getting involved in the Hollywood scene. At the studio, Elly meets actor Dash Riprock. He goes for her straight off, unaware that this is the girl he will be starring with, having been told he’ll be opposite the studio owner’s daughter, Miss Clampett.

25 min

17

Dash Riprock, You Cad

Elly is disappointed about losing Dash to Miss Jane, so Jed and Drysdale try to fix everything. And Granny is trying to figure out why Dash is going for the plain Miss Jane instead of her gorgeous granddaughter. Another actor, Biff Steel, is set up for Elly, but, once again, he sees Miss Jane and figures she is Miss Clampett.

25 min

18

Clampett A-Go-Go

After seeing Elly May in a bathing suit, hippie Sheldon Epps crashes his car. When the Clampetts see this, they take him inside their house in case he is injured. He is healthy, but sticks around for Elly, driving Dash Riprock off.

25 min

19

Granny's Romance

Drysdale sets Granny up with an older man on the Board of Directors, a playboy who dates young, attractive women. Mr. Cavanaugh meets Granny and is not pleased with what he sees. And Cavanaugh’s original date for the night, who is described as his "dear, sweet old aunt" is set up with Jed. Of course, this “Aunt Phyllis” is no older woman; she's a young, glamorous girl.

25 min

20

Jed's Temptation

It is the day after Jed spent the night dancing with Phyllis, and he is stiff from all the dancing. Granny is throwing her “I told you sos” at him. And when Phyllis invites him to the horse races, he accepts. When Drysdale and Jane learn of the type of woman she is, they warn Granny and drive her down to the racetrack to stop them. Meanwhile, at the racetrack, Jed and Phyllis are finding great success, because Jed can tell which horse will win.

25 min

21

Double Naught Jethro

Inspired by the movie Goldfinger,Jethro wants to be a spy.He tries to spy on Drysdale's rival banker John Cushing and his new secretary.In the meantime,Mr.Drysdale hires Elly May as a secretary-long enough for her to win the Queen of the Banker's Ball beauty contest.Jethro rigged up the truck as a,""spy-car,""and even got a hat made of solid iron.He tried to carry a secret-radio in his shoe-but it kept playing when he stepped on it.He also had an ejector-seat,which Granny made the mistake of getting on.She ended up in the trees.

25 min

22

Clampett's Millions

Jethro is still working on being a 007 spy, though it is annoying Granny. And Elly has been crowned Queen of the Bankers Ball. Mr. Cushing is not happy about this though, as he wanted his contestant to win. Because Jethro is having more fun at Cushing’s bank, he tries to get Jed to transfer his money to the Merchant’s Bank. And Cushing sees this opportunity and tries to get that gorgeous Clampett account.

25 min

23

Drysdale's Dog Days

Granny demands to see her money in cash, and Drysdale tries to talk her out of it. He fails and upsets the Clampetts by accidentally throwing magazines at them, which were really aimed at his wife and her dog. He tries to make things better by showing Granny what a million dollars looks like to turn her off from the idea, but ends up throwing more stuff at her.

25 min

24

Brewster's Honeymoon

The Clampett money keeps rolling in as more oil is discovered on their land. And Mr. Brewster is coming out to marry his fiancée, Edythe. Granny is planning to go back home to the hills, but Jed decides to put up the cabin.

25 min

25

Flatt, Clampett, and Scruggs

Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs visit the Clampetts and solve the problems they are having at the mansion. They cure Jethro’s hunger by making him biscuits and red-eye gravy, and the duo cures Granny’s homesickness by letting her perform on stage with them.

25 min

26

Jed and the Countess

It is time for spring tonic, and the Countess Maria returns to meet with her good friends the Clampetts, as well as get some tonic. And after the Clampetts learn Maria is single again, having lost her husband at a party, Granny sees this as the time for Jed to make his move on the Countess.

25 min

27

Big Daddy, Jed

Beatnik Sheldon Epps returns with his other beatnik pals from the Parthanon West Coffee House.Jethro is taught how to be a beatnik-and Elly may joins up with them too.Mr.Drysdale sees that the Clampetts are friends of the beatniks!

25 min

28

Cool School is Out

Elly and Jethro join the beatniks at the Parthenon West, and Granny tries to get them out. But her attempts fail, and she becomes a beatnik herself, after inventing "The Tater Digger,” a new dance. Jed is all for the young ones expressing themselves, but once he sees Granny dressed the way she is and acting the way she is, he changes his mind.

25 min

29

The Big Bank Battle

Drysdale tries to get the Clampetts interested in a hobby to occupy their time and to stop Jed from traveling around the neighborhood with a fix-it wagon. He shows Jed all types of hobbies, like collecting stamps and building a boat in a bottle. Jethro gets a hobby with these offers—getting the boat out of the bottle!

25 min

30

The Clampetts vs. Automation

Leroy Lester, a longtime employee of the Commerce Bank is being forcibly retired to make way for a new computer system. A chance meeting with the Clampetts gives him an idea about dealing with Mr. Drysdale. Leroy goes back to the bank, where Mr. Drysdale's computer has now died. Mr. Drysdale offers Leroy his job back, but Leroy informs Mr. Drysdale that he will be taking an extended vacation and staying with his new friends, the Clampetts.

25 min

31

Luke's Boy

Luke Short's son Beau comes from back home.Granny wants him to marry Elly May,but Elly wants none of it.At first Miss Hathaway dresses her as a Hollywood siren to scare him-but he quits being scared after Elly gives him a strong kiss.Then she dresses like a dirty scrubwoman to discourage him-but Beau is glad that she can look like she does chores,too.Then Miss Hathaway convinces Beau that he should be a man of the world-and Jethro tries to show Beau how to be a playboy.it turns out that the reason Beau had come to California was to enlist in the army.

25 min

32

The Brewsters Return

The Brewsters come to Beverly Hills to build their new home on a vacant lot they purchased, and they request the Clampetts don't learn of this. But the Clampetts are planning to move back home to the Hills. When they tell Drysdale, he reveals the secret. Drysdale tells Brewster what he has done, but explains it was to save the Clampett oil account, and because of this, he has to visit the Clampetts.

25 min

33

Jed, the Bachelor

Granny is tired of Beverly Hills and heads home for the Hills. But she never makes it back home and ends up in Las Vegas. And Jethro is having no luck being an international playboy and ends up getting arrested. Granny comes back that night, but with a story to tell about Vegas the next day.

25 min

34

The Art Center

Mrs. Drysdale has a new plan to get rid of the Clampetts and add culture to Beverly Hills. She gets the Clampetts to donate their home as an art gallery. Of course, they misunderstand this and think they have to provide the art. They go on and sculpt and paint up a storm for this new art center and end up filling their mansion with their homemade creations. Note: This episode is the final one to be filmed in black-and-white.

25 min