Air Farce Live Season 1, Episode 24: 1-Instant Classics Episode #2

1

Episode 1-01

Opening Comments--Roger Abbott Doug Henning As leader of the Natural Law Party, he holds us spellbound Pirates Canada Swindling voters with the truth. Hockey Commentary National Anthem The American National Anthem is sung to a different 'tune'. Ice Beer It's not like those other, sissy, beers... Leader Meter Pick the next Prime Minister by your applause. Mr. Charade Man on the street answers a street interviewer by playing charades. Seamus O'Toole Seamus combines the Bloc Quebecois with the Parti Quebecois and comes up with the Bloc Parti! McCainski's New sponsor Boris Yeltsin speaks about McCainski's Vodka Coolers. Candidates Debate '93 Kim Campbell, Audrey McLaughlin, Jean Chretien, Preston Manning and Lucien Bouchard in a verbal slugfest for the highest public office in Canada.

30 min

2

Episode 1-02

Videopinion--Kim Campbell Kim Campbell's 1 minute of fame explaining her campaign slogan. Name That Leader! The game show that insults political leaders. Chretien's Hospital Visit Jean Chretien 'demonstrates' what could happen to health care if you don't vote for the Liberal Party. Videopinion--Pro Life A mother, with child, on the sanctity of all human life. Toronto Airport Two representatives attempt to explain why privatizing Toronto's Pearson 1 Airport is really a good deal--for them. Oat Bran & Lobster Resepected actor and commercial spokesperson Wilford Brimley speaks out for Oat Bran and Lobster Cereal. Videopinion--Audrey McLaughlin Audrey tries to dispel the rumours about the NDP. Corky & The Juice Pigs Videopinion--Kissing Judge Toronto's kissing judge defends himself to the public.

30 min

3

Episode 1-03

Bouchard Wins! Only in Canada... The results of the election night vote are in, and our new prime minister is... Pollster and Bum A pollster conducts the ultimate man on the street election poll. John Kruk--Interview Blue Jays' John Kruk talks about what he does to keep fit. Candidate Dolls CBC Correspondent Joe Schlesinger explains election night with the help of some paper dolls. Pastor Ignacious Quagmire--Election The good pastor has a few thoughts on the upcoming Federal election. Chretien Deodorant Prime Minister wannabe Jean Chretien promotes his new brand of deodorant: Old Guard. Tete a Tete Kim Campbell tries to seduce Preston Manning over to the dark side... Blue Jay Scalpers Two Newfoundlanders in Toronto haggle over the price of some Blue Jays Tickets.

30 min

4

Episode 1-04

Election Coverage Ann Medina and Don Newman talk to Preston Manning, Lucien Bouchard and Audrey McLaughlin. Jean Make Plans Jean Chretien would rather redecorate 24 Sussex Drive than address his campaign promises. Member for Kicking Horse Pass The honourable member Dave Broadfoot makes his first foray on the television series. Election Comment--Mike Mike, from Canmore, gets stage fright trying to discuss the election result. Campbell Aftermath Brian Mulroney attempts to console Kim Campbell after she gets kicked out of office.

30 min

5

Episode 1-05

Chretien Sworn In New Prime Minister Jean Chretien is sworn in at ""de Gooverner General's hangout."" Glass Masters Ray Bonisteel promises those glasses ""in about a MINUTE!"" New TV Shows TV executives get hysterical over new non-violent shows. Campbell at UIC Ex-Prime Minister Kim Campbell applies for, and is denied, UIC. Canada's Most Pensioned In the fine tradition of ""Amercia's Most Wanted"", Air Farce takes a look at Canadian Politicians' pensions. Sunday Edition with Tiny Mike Sunday (brunch) Edition with Tiny Mike and Lucien Bouchard. Jock McBile Jock vents over Chretien's cabinet, Doug Gilmour fighting and Kim Campbell's Russian boyfriend.

30 min

6

Episode 1-06

Queen's Speech ""Liz"" comments on the photo of Di in the Health Club. Yassar Arafat Before he started using disposable razors, everyone mistook him for Ringo Starr. Prime Time News Tonight: Trudeau's Memoirs. Street Weasel Leon kicks out a client who doesn't have enough money. Copps Talks Jean Chretien introduces his Deputy Prime Minister, Sheila Copps. Haiti Patrol The Canadian Navy hakcs into the Haitian Communication Network for a very important transmission. Prime Time News Update Update on Trudeau Book watch. Videopinion--Liberals Man on the street is upset that after two weeks in office the Liberals have done nothing. Orville & Gary's Trouser Pop Popcorn you can make in your pants. Videopinion--Kim Campbell Woman on the street suggests Kim run again as Canadians are fond of losers. BBC World News Due to budget cuts, CBC is proud to present the BBC. Prime Time News Update Trudeau Book watch, part deux.

30 min

7

Episode 1-07

Chretien, Copps & Clinton Jean and Sheila take a trip, by helicopter, to visit President Clinton. Referee's Strike Replacement ref speaks out on the 'hard times' of refereeing. Sheila Shelley's Showbiz Sheila gets the scoop on Michael Jackson, Peter Mansbridge, CBC cutbacks and Kim Campbell. Ice Beer Ice Beer, the next generation. Venture Robert Scully talks to (at) Herb Gray about money and the price of a suit. Brimley--Logos Wilford Brimley wants networks to stop displaying those annoying logos because ""it's the right thing to do"". New MP's meet Two new MP's on the hill meet, and in the process realize they have a lot in common--except their political party. What is Canada? A traveller describes his country, Canada, to a customs official with ""O Canada"" playing in the background. Videopinion--Crazy Joe Crazy Joe has just the thing Jean Chretien needs for his new home at 24 Sussex Drive.

30 min

8

Episode 1-08

Robo Copps Robo Copps comes to the aid of the Liberal Party Dr Stubbs--Basketball Player Dr Stubbs, famous appendage elongator, works his magic on a basketball player. Michael at Customs Michael Jackson tries to moonwalk his way past Canada Customs. Outsiders Report Dave, the grocery guy, presents his latest line of products (including ""I feel like Haggis tonight"") Translation News Translation News for the Fast of Hearing... Member for Kicking Horse Pass The honourable member Grey Cup Winnipeg Blue Bombers fan and an American watch the game at a bar.

30 min

9

Episode 1-09

Love Lucien Ooooh Lucien, you've got some s'plainin' to do! Herb Gray and Closet Elvis Mug A Soup - Mama's Boy Paul Martin Explains Books Paul Martin explains how to reduce the deficit. Henderson Bedpans Henderson, the name to think of when buying a bedpan. You Got That Right Air Farce's first trip to the doughnut shop! Ken and Barbie The two most famous dolls are having problems with their relationship. Jock McBile

30 min

10

Episode 1-10

Yeltsin Loves K.D. Lang Boozy Boris cares only about love, not war. Mr. Manning's Neighbourhood And what a lovely--white--neighbourhood it is. Mug A Soup - Brimley In depth soup analysis with a real momma's boy. Scrotal Write-Off The ultimate manhood remover. Videopinion--Immigrant An immigrant knows what's wrong with immigration, these lax immigration laws! Military Man The Good Sex Guide A panel discussion about sex. Cell Phone Couple A couple in a restaurant has trouble communicating the old fashioned way.

30 min

11

1-New Year's Special

Memories of '93--Kim Campbell Robo Copps Dr. Stubbs Newman/Charest Hoople & Sternbrotten Williams Sports Wrap Memories of '93--Bouchard and McLaughlin Mike Duffy and Tiny Mike Venture--McCain Bros. Memories of '93--Yeltsin Consumer Watch--Wrapper Snapper Member for Kicking Horse Pass Trudeau Doughnut Trudeau Interview '94 Blues

30 min

12

1-Instant Classics Episode #1

Chretien's Hospital Visit (#1-02, October 15, 1993) National Anthem (#1-01, October 8, 1993) Brimley--Logos (#1-07, November 19, 1993) Queen's Speech (#1-06, November 12, 1993) Bouchard Wins (#1-03, October 22, 1993) Herb Gray and Closet Elvis (#1-09, December 3, 1993) Haiti Patrol (#1-06, November 12, 1993) Dr. Stubbs--Basketball Player (#1-08, November 26, 1993) Videopinion--Pro Life (#1-02, October 15, 1993) Pirates Canada (#1-01, October 8, 1993) Trudeau Book Update #3 (#1-06, November 12, 1993)

30 min

13

Episode 1-11

Earthquake Damage Control L.A. Tourism board calms public fears about severity of quake. Parliament Opens Pamela Wallin covers the opening of Parliament and speaks to Lucien Bouchard, Herb Gray and Jean Chretien. Home Remedies Book Wacky household solutions to common problems. Pirate's Speech The member from Pirates Canada gives a speech in Parliament. Loreena Bobbitt Loreena Bobbitt demonstrates her new Ginsu knife. Street Medical CBC cancels Street Legal in favour of a new, different drama series. Frozen Weatherman Jerry Bisby gives his report from outside where it's freezing. Fax Manning Preston Manning wants to air the average Canadian's beef in Parliament, with the help of a fax machine.

30 min

14

Episode 1-12

Anik Breakdown Rita Jones on Newsworld is interrupted by other channels as the Anik satellite begins breaking down. Bosnia Peacekeepers Canadian Peacekeepers in Bosnia just want to go home. The Rival Whacker Tonya Harding's ex-boyfriend has a new product to eliminate your rivals. Jock McBile Jock talks sports. Man's World--Arafat Buck McSweeny and Yassar Arafat discuss synchronized swimming. Sheila Shelley Gossip about ""Bouchard's List"", the Beatles reuniting, Madonna opens ""Pizza Slut"". Closet Elvis, Herb and Paul Martin Herb Gray gets some financial advice from Closet Elvis. Trudeau Memoirs Pierre Trudeau canoes through Canada, promoting his memoirs.

30 min

15

Episode 1-13

Confessional Paul Martin clamps down on smuggled cigarettes. New Prime Time News Prime Time News has undergone some set and format changes. Phony MP A new member of Parliament has had 114 misunderstandings. Air Canada Air Canada vs. Canadian Airlines. Copps Upstaged Sheila Copps deals with a backbencher. Member for Kicking Horse Pass The member comments on two hot dishes--NAFTA and Mexico. Canadian Moment ""Cold enough for ya?"" Lillehammer Preview An Olympic Preview...

30 min

16

Episode 1-14

Olympic Committee After careful consideration, a battered Olympic committee decides that Tonya Harding can indeed compete in Lillehammer. Chretien and Gray Press Conference Jean Chretien and Herb Gray discuss cigarette smuggling. Tonya Harding--TSN Theresa Hergert for TSN interviews Tonya Harding in lilehammer. Jock McBile Jock talks about dictatorships, like Bosnia and Roger's Cable. Ferry Boat Dock Catching the ferry can be dangerous. Midday--Violence in Schools Teachers dealing with society's most violent crminals, the students. Mr. Diaper Don't get caught with your pants down again! Videopinion--Valentines Day A young woman has a problem with the commercialism of Valentines Day until someone sends her flowers. Laff Happy News Top news stories: man invents water purifier, automatic macrame machine and plastic surgeon goes crazy with liposuction machine. Manning ""Strangelove"" Tax Revolt Preston rides the Reform ""Tax Revolt"" Rocket.

30 min

17

Episode 1-15

CTV Olympics Valerie Pringle and Rod Black in Lillehammer cover the games and interview ladies man Alberto Tompa. Devil Talk The devil is really overworked by all the evil around these days. Woman Bishop A female bishop meets her fellow clergy. Norton Union Life Insurance It's Patrick! And he's taken out life insurance! Revenue Rat Fink Help the economy by snitching on the cheats. Olympic Moment And now for Team Canada, on the two man luge... Street Legal The real cast from Street Legal give their final performance on Air Farce. Jock McBile Jock talks about our new Prime Minister, Jean Chretien.

30 min

18

Episode 1-16

Olympic Moment Bobsled fans from around the world come to witness this moment... Budget '94 Paul Martin uses Herb Gray to demonstrate some of the cuts in the budget. Figure Skating Bikers Two thugs talk about their love of figure skating. Jag Bhaduria The new president of the hair club for men speaks. Olympic Moment Out of shape speed skater goes for gold. CRTC--New Channels CRTC rep goes over the new channel applications. Svend Robinson Svend Robinson discusses suicide assistance service, ""Svend-enders"" Ollie the Ostrich Interview with bandaged Olympic non-winner.

30 min

19

Episode 1-17

A Canadian Moment The donut shop gang discusses the Olympic hockey team, Alan Eagleson's indictment and other things. Bouchard Visits UN Lucien Bouchard and UN Official discuss Boutros Boutros Ghali's ""Gala"" and Quebec separation. Military Explains Cutbacks The very first appearance of the Air Farce chicken cannon. Cocaine Bust Mongo the biker reports on cocaine bust in Nova Scotia. Parliament Prayer A new politically/religiously correct prayer for the House of Commons. Curling Marriage Breakup A marriage is ""on the rocks"". Videopinion--Olympic Wrap Up A critique of hockey, Tonya Harding, leotards and men's skating.

30 min

20

Episode 1-18

Yassar Arafat--Time Share Yassar Arafat offers time sharing in occupied territory, complete with line dancers. Club For TVs Hey ladies! No more 24 hour sports channel with this handy device. Canadian Moment The doughnut gang discuss Roger's Cable takeover, NSF and other things. Sliding Curler A curler with a vacuum up his sleeve. Clayoquot Protester #1 A visit by a tree hugger. Fax Manning Your golden opportunity to have your questions answered in Parliament. Brian Tobin's Cod Film The lonely cod tries to convince a female member to help him replenish the depleted stocks. Phantom of the Opera The joys of living with the Phantom of the Opera. Clayoquot Protester #3 Night falls.

30 min

21

Episode 1-19

Governor General's Aircraft Learning how to land a plane in French. Kosher's Korner--Doug Gilmour Toronto Maple Leaf player Doug Gilmour guests on Koshers Korner both with and without his teeth! Mesley--Native Rights Billy Two Willies joins Wendy Mesley on ""IMPACT"" to discuss native land claims. Leonard Cohen's Album Carstairs Carruthers presents Leonard Cohen's ""Songs for a cold, dark, dreary night"". Sex With Sue Sue talks sex with an expert. Spitting Hockey Players Hockey players worried about the economy (Guest starring Doug Gilmour). Chicken Cannon Fired by Doug Gilmour, ""He shoots, he scores!"" at the Detroit Red Wings.

30 min

22

Episode 1-20

Sheila Shelley Sheila takes a stab at the latest news and entertainment stories and Neil Young songs. Canadian Moment Manic Depressive News A manic and a depressive read the news. Martin/Chretien--GST Jean Chretien and Paul Martin discuss the GST. Jock McBile Really Amazing Discoveries Inventor Margo Lamont discovers the Juicemeister. Tax Audit Never try to seduce your auditor...

30 min

23

Episode 1-21

Jimmy and Seamus Cod Watching and Conception Bay Loch Ness Monster Tour. H&R Grunt A tax accountant grunts through a consultation with one of his clients. Member for Kicking Horse Pass The member looks at everything from bigotry to dentistry. Venture--Ted Rogers Robert Scully interviews Ted Rogers about his Maclean-Hunter Takeover. PTN Promo Peter Mansbridge and Pamela Wallin assess their own popularity. Professor Aphazard--Brain Aphazard takes us through the human brain. Preston's Rules Preston Manning sets down rules for MP's and gets caught in an ""uncompromising"" position. Restaurant Menu The language police are alive in an English pub in Quebec.

30 min

24

1-Instant Classics Episode #2

Olympic Moment--Two Man Luge (# 3-15, February 16, 1994) Woman Bishop (# 3-15, February 16, 1994) Club for TVs (# 3-18, March 11, 1994) Spitting Hockey Players (#3-19, March 18, 1994) Curling Marriage Breakup (# 3-17, March 4, 1994) Confessional (# 3-13, February 4, 1994) Military Explains Cutbacks (# 3-17, March 4, 1994)

30 min