Pirate Express Season 1, Episode 8: Dead Men Wear Plaid

Poseidon or Bust

Newt and the Pirates must deliver a shiny new statue of Poseidon to its grand unveiling party.

11 min

Finders Keepers

The Pirates embark on a mission to return a wallet to an angry Cyclops.

11 min

Little Miss Swordshine

LaPoutine's great-great-great-great granddaughter turns up claiming ownership of the Pirate Express.

11 min

Ship Wretched

The Pirates split into two rival parties in a search for treasure.

11 min

Turkey Leg of Doom

When looking for a giant hairball, Booli ends up taking a mind controlling Turkey Leg

11 min

Hair of the God

11 min

Enter the Octogod

Newt and the Crew have to rescue Gordon from octopus worshipping natives.

11 min

Bilge Rat Zombies

On the eve of an inspection, Newt and the Crew discover they have rats on board.

11 min

Ghost of Ships Passed

Newt pretends to be a ghost to haunt LaPoutine.

11 min

Night of the Geminis

Newt and the Crew ferry Ted the Cyclops and his brutish twin daughters to Poseidon's party.

11 min

Ships and Salsa

Armando has a crisis of confidence when he gets a pimple.

11 min

All A Bored

Newt and the Crew are stranded when the god of wind takes a holiday.

11 min

Club Fed

Newt and the Pirates must recover Poseidon's lost pet Leviathan from a beach resort.

11 min

White Wedding

Armando ruins the wedding of Newt's brother when he steals the bride's heart.

11 min

Saltiest Dogs

Newt and the Crew compete in a pirate reality TV game show.

11 min

Shrieking Violet

Zeus's spoiled daughter decides she wants LaPoutine as her new pet.

11 min

Starboard Struck

Renowned actor Johnnie Bermuda joins the Crew to prepare for his upcoming role.

11 min

Get Kraken

Newt and the Crew fight over an adorable baby orphan kraken.

11 min

Grill of My Dreams

Newt regrets firing Booli but struggles to get him back after Poseidon hires him as his new chef.

11 min

Penguin Law

Spewey faces off with his childhood nemesis to determine the future Emperor of the Penguins.

11 min

Shop 'til You Drop Anchor

Newt takes the Crew gift shopping for the first time in 300 years.

11 min

Opposites Ahoy

Newt is transported into an opposite world whilst his opposite arrives in Atlantis.

11 min

Udder Chaos

Newt and the Crew must replace Poseidon's magical bath milk or he will become powerless!

11 min

Out of Key

Davy Jones pursues Newt and the Crew to get back his stolen locker key.

11 min

Thumb Wars

Newt and the Crew rescue Burt after a dragon captures him to use as his thumb.

11 min

One Flew Over the Crow's Nest

LaPoutine's elaborate ruse to reclaim an old treasure gets him stuck in the Pirate Hospital.

11 min

Game On

Newt and the Pirates are pitted against Zeus' terrifying beasts at a Gods sports day.

11 min

Licence to Thrill

Newt has to pass his "drivers" test or risk losing control of the Pirate Express.

11 min

Beast in Show

Newt and the Pirates are sent to retrieve a part-seahorse part-unicorn to help Poseidon win a "Beast in Show" competition.

11 min

Fine Feathered Fiend

Spewey is pushed out of the crew by LaPoutine's new pet parrot.

11 min

Lumber Jerk

Newt and the Pirates rescue a wooden boy who then tries to steal their masthead Nelly.

11 min

Father Time

LaPoutine steals the God of Time's time travelling scythe in order to change history and the captaincy of the Pirate Express.

11 min

Manure Overload

Newt and the pirates seek a cure for Armando after the monstrous Medusa turns him to stone.

11 min

No Sea for Old Salts

Newt hooks up with some famous bad boy celebrity pirates and the Pirate Express crew are left out.

11 min

Sealed Fate

Newt and the Crew set out to rescue Marie-Celeste from the evil clutches of Skulldidgery.

11 min

Blunder Down Under

Newt and the Pirates pose as plumbers to rescue Spewey from the Underworld.

11 min

Engaged in Battle

Newt turns matchmaker when Burt reveals he thinks he has a crush on a mermaid.

11 min

Beggars Can't Be Cruisers

The Pirates start a pirate cruise holiday experience in order to loot their guests.

11 min

Voyage of the Edam-ed

Newt and the Crew get trapped on the cursed Flying Dutchman ship.

11 min

Greeced Lightning

Newt and LaPoutine accidentally swap bodies after being struck by Zeus' lightening bolts right before family portrait day.

11 min

The Godd Couple

Newt and the Crew are forced to babysit Hades' giant three-headed guard-dog Cerberus.

11 min

Gordon's Fish Tale

Newt and the Crew help Gordon maintain the ruse that he is King of the Oceans when his mother comes to visit.

11 min

Love on the Rocks

Newt tries to help his Poseidon's flagging pop career but Davey Jones has other ideas.

11 min

Malaise of the One Eye

Newt and the Crew break Poseidon's trident and make a deal with his enemy, the Cyclops, to fix it.

11 min

The Future Is Now

The Pirates are duped into buying a 'magic' spyglass that they believe foresees their future.

11 min

Booty Camp

Poseidon thinks Newt needs to toughen up so sends him to a bootcamp run by Ares, the God of War.

11 min

Put Another Captain's Log on the Fire

Newt is about to be appointed the permanent captain of the Pirate Express, but his Crew have other ideas.

11 min

Booty Nights

Newt and the Pirates are framed and sent to jail for a robbery they didn't commit.

11 min

Fountain of Misspent Youth

The Pirates become babies after falling into the fountain of youth.

11 min

Jungle Booty

Newt and the Crew embark on a mission to find Eldorado, the long lost city of gold. / Newt and the Crew save Eldorado from Skulldidgery and his thieving band of skeletons!

22 min