Off Centre Season 1, Episode 16: Hear No Evil, See No Package

1

Let's Meet Mike and Euan

Neurotic Everyman Mike is baffled by the amazing success enjoyed by hyperconfident womanizer Euan. In the opener, the polar-opposite pals move into a posh New York City apartment building complete with celebrities, including rather uptight rapper Status Quo and supermodel Vee, whose bodily functions eclipse her beauty. All is well in the new digs until Euan invites Mike's girlfriend, Liz, to move in with them.

30 min

2

Feeling Shellfish

When Mike and then Liz contract a certain sexually transmitted condition, Mike blames the assumed originator Euan. The irritating malady hampers both Mike and Liz's anniversary dinner and Euan's date with a friend from college.

30 min

3

A Stroke of Genius

Liza finds out about Mike's stash of adult videos and is surprisingly okay with it and even offers to watch some with him. But the sexy adventure in cinema turns out to be a bit of a let-down for Mike. Euan, meanwhile, endeavors to impress his incredibly jaded girlfriend.

30 min

4

Trust Me or Don't Trust Me

On a night out with Chau and Euan, Mike repeatedly rejects women in favor of being faithful to Liz, who ends up kissing an old flame during the same evening. Chau gets angry at Euan for constantly stealing prospective dates.

30 min

5

Euan's Brush With Love

Euan's quest to find a steady girlfriend lands him Ginger, an artist who Mike believes is taking Euan for all he's worth. Meanwhile, Liz proves to Mike that her revealing clothing makes him uncomfortable.

30 min

6

A Cute Triangle

When Liz and her wild, flirty friend stay at the apartment for the weekend, Mike hopes for a ménage à trois. Euan, who has resolved to remain celibate with his current girlfriend, serves as Mike's mentor.

30 min

7

Swing Time

Mike's strange parents visit, allowing Mike to finally bond with his erstwhile, emotionally distant father. Unfortunately, Euan finds Mr. Platt in a compromising position with another woman.

30 min

8

Money or Brother Can You Spare a Ski Trip

Finding it difficult to keep up with the incredibly successful Euan, Mike tries to solve his money woes by taking on a second job at Chau's restaurant. Euan offers to help, but Mike refuses any more financial aid from his roommate.

30 min

9

Marathon Man

After a co-worker spreads a rumor that he's gay, Euan is troubled upon learning that people don't have a hard time believing it. Mike, meanwhile, is overjoyed upon meeting Liz's unexpectedly unimpressive ex-boyfriend.

30 min

10

Guy Gone Wild

After Mike learns of Liz's wild past, he decides to make up for lost time by doing the crazy things he missed out on when he was younger.

30 min

11

The Good, the Bad and the Lazy

In dire need of a job he actually enjoys, Mike seeks advice from a decidedly unreliable career counselor. Euan, meanwhile, concentrates his efforts on trying to win over their new neighbor, a B-movie actress.

30 min

12

Gas Crisis

Mike's increasing comfort level with Liz leads him to engage in behavior she doesn't entirely welcome. Meanwhile, Euan resolves to avoid a woman who routinely shows up in his life to break his heart; and Status Quo works on new song lyrics with Chau.

30 min

13

Why Chau Lives Alone

Sick of living with Euan, Mike decides to stay at Lauren's for a while. As revenge, Eaun invites Chau to live in Mike's room. The unlikely duo get along well, until Chau's behavior gets out of hand.

30 min

14

Mission Im-posse-ble

After Mike and Euan point out that his ""posse"" is a bunch of yes-men, Status Quo fires them and invites his neighbors to hang with him. Unfortunately, he treats Euan more like a slave than a friend.

30 min

15

Faking the Band

In order to get women to notice them more, Chau and Euan pretend to be in a rock band; Mike irks Liz when he drunkenly proposes marriage and then forgets all about it.

30 min

16

Hear No Evil, See No Package

Mike and Chau start going to a gym where a lot of nude men hang out; Euan dates Liz's deaf friend, who turns out to be less friendly than anyone realizes.

30 min

17

The Backup

Mike tells Euan to stay away from an attractive visiting friend, explaining that she is his ""backup girl,"" should things not work out with Liz. Meanwhile, Chau pulls out all the stops to try to win a contest for a big-screen TV.

30 min

18

Mike & Liz & Chau & Jordan

Liz sets Chau up with her equally bizarre roommate, creating a romance more ridiculous than anyone could have imagined. Meanwhile, Euan lies about his age in order to date 45-year-old woman.

30 min

19

Addicted To Love

Chau's new girlfriend is a hazard to his health---she keeps getting him beaten up by strangers. Meanwhile, irresponsible dog-sitters Mike, Euan and Liz watch Status Quo's treasured canine.

30 min

20

The Unkindest Cut

Mike and Chau mock Euan because he has a foreskin. This prompts Euan to consult a urologist, Dr. Barry Wasserman, who has a bizarre sense of penis humor, for circumcision.

30 min

21

Diddler on the Roof

Euan gets sucked into the drama of MTV's ""The Real World"" when he hooks up with a insipid cast member and fears she will bad mouth him to millions of women if he dumps her, so he schemes to have Chau steal her instead. Meanwhile, Mike lands his dream job doing sound for porn movies, but things turn dicey when he thinks Liz is hooking up with Status while he works nights, and the movies turn to guy-on-guy.

30 min