Two and a Half Men Season 5, Episode 1: Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

1

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Jake is getting ready to start a new school as he graduates to Junior High. Alan and Charlie take him school shopping and find themselves in trouble.

20 min

2

Media Room Slash Dungeon

Charlie acts strange after spending an evening with his mother, and a woman Alan slept with behaves oddly the next morning.

22 min

3

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Alan convinces Charlie that he needs to date more respectable women and sets him up with a judge. The two double date and their waitress happens to be one of Charlie’s ex-girlfriends. Charlie's date backfires the following morning, when he ends up in court in front of the judge.

21 min

4

City of Great Racks

Charlie and Linda get closer to consummating their relationship, but Charlie has trouble focusing when he begins to see Rose's face everywhere he turns.

22 min

5

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

Charlie has to come up with ways to keep his girlfriend's 4-year-old amused; Alan becomes a test subject.

22 min

6

Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Charlie's girlfriend is embrassed to go out in public with him. Meanwhile, Jake sneaks out to attend a concert.

21 min

7

The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

After Alan and Charlie have a fight about Alan's role in the house. Alan packs Jake up and moves in with his mother.

20 min

8

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Charlie writes a children’s song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan.

20 min

9

Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids

Charlie fights his attraction for Teddy's daughter.

20 min

10

Kinda Like Necrophilia

Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend and works on a plan to get back at Charlie, even though this happened when they were in high school.

22 min

11

Meander to Your Dander

When Alan finds himself wanting to break up with a woman, Charlie offers his expertise.

22 min

12

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Rose returns from England, and plays nurse rather oddly for an ill Charlie.

22 min

13

The Soil Is Moist

Alan finds out some surprising information about Judith's sex life when he decides to go on a date with one of her friends.

20 min

14

Winky-Dink Time

Charlie double-dates with Jake and fixes Alan up with a hooker.

22 min

15

Rough Night in Hump Junction

Alan feels Charlie is unable to control his womanizing ways.

21 min

16

Look At Me Mommy, I'm Pretty

Alan makes wedding plans for Evelyn and Teddy, while Charlie figures out how to get more acquainted with his future step-sister.

22 min

17

Fish in a Drawer

CSIs investigate a death at Charlie's house.

21 min

18

If My Hole Could Talk

Charlie's attracted to an older self-help author. Alan and Jake clash over a project for school.

21 min

19

Waiting for the Right Snapper

When Charlie meets Angie's soon to be daughter-in-law, he realizes it's not for the first time.

22 min