Empty Nest Season 3, Episode 5: The Tortoise and the Harry

1

A Flaw is Born

Harry is uncomfortable dating a more successful woman, a world-famous brain surgeon; Carol and Barbara plot revenge on an inconsiderate man who met Carol on a plane and promised to phone but never did.

2

Harry's Excellent Adventure

Harry looks forward to his golf game until he has to cancel to help Barbara with her taxes and Carol with her car. Tired of having no time for himself, he follows a globe-trotting friend to Pamplona for the running of the bulls.

3

There's No Accounting

Carol is drawn to Barbara's sensitive, intelligent new boyfriend and can't figure out why he would be interested in Barbara. Harry is bored by his new girlfriend, a lady who seems perfect for him. Laverne grows attached to a dog that Nick brings home.

4

Barbara the Mom

Barbara fears she has no motherly instincts when babysitting her boyfriend's young kids. Carol volunteers at the zoo and finds that the pandas only mate when she is around. Harry is reluctant to let Laverne give him a flu shot. Charley attempts to write his autobiography.

5

The Tortoise and the Harry

When a patient is depressed after his best friend moves away, Harry gives him a pet turtle. The boy becomes more upset when the turtle dies soon after. Carol talks Barbara into taking an art class with her. Charley tries new ways to meet women.

6

Mad About the Boy

After being dumped yet again, Carol flips out and falls in love with the first man she can find: an oddball who passes out cheese samples at the mall. Laverne decides to spice up Harry's biography for a hospital newsletter.

7

Honey, I Shrunk Laverne

Laverne quits when Harry complains that she is making too many office decisions without him. Carol talks Barbara into letting her join her poker game.

8

The Boy Next Door

During a moment of weakness, Carol and Charley sleep together. Thinking perhaps their hate for one another is actually masking love, they attempt to build a relationship.

9

A Family Affair

Harry suspects that Barbara's new boyfriend is married, and when he voices his concerns Barbara gets mad. Worried that Dreyfuss is getting too fat, the Westons put him on a diet, but then end up secretly giving him junk food.

10

Someone to Watch Over Me

Charley wants visitors during a hospital stay and when his parents can't come, he hires actors to play them. A neighbor accuses Dreyfuss of fathering his dog's puppies.

11

Harry Knows Best

A young patient of Harry's announces she wants a nose job. Charley thinks about a career as a gigolo. The Westons decide to take a new family portrait.

12

Whenever I Feel Afraid

Laverne is fearful after a mugging. Carol and Barbara compete for a handsome new neighbor.

13

A Shot in the Dark

Barbara mistakes Carol's boyfriend for a burglar and shoots him. He stays with the Westons to recuperate and only ends up getting hurt worse. Harry helps Laverne confront her fear of public speaking when she has to give a speech at an awards ceremony.

14

Sucking Up is Hard to Do

Carol advises Barbara on how to suck up to get a job promotion. Laverne plays matchmaker for Harry.

15

The Man That Got Away

Barbara tries to get a man she likes to ask her out. Laverne must cast the deciding vote on an important Hickory issue.

16

The Mentor

Harry realizes his mentor is getting too old to practice medicine, but is afraid to tell him. Meanwhile, Carol and Barbara prepare for a piano recital.

17

The Dog Who Knew Too Much

The Westons each pour their hearts out to Dreyfuss when the girls decide to move out after two years at home.

18

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Harry dates a 28 year old, which upsets Carol, Barbara, and the girl's parents. Laverne shapes up a nurse trainee.

19

All About Harry

Harry dates a newspaper writer who begins writing about their relationship in her column. Charley is rendered impotent after a medical experiment backfires.

20

Drive, He Said

Harry is supposed to get Charley back to the house for a surprise party, but instead the two end up searching for Charley's old girlfriend whom he never got over. Meanwhile, Carol, Barbara, and Laverne try to entertain the party guests.

21

The Last Temptation of Laverne

Laverne's aunt Retha will lend a house down payment only if Laverne, though innocent, will assume blame for a car accident. Carol and Barbara meet an old man in the park who is moving into a retirement home and try to make his last day of freedom something to remember.

22

What's Eating You?

Harry forces Barbara to spend a week at home with him and Carol, away from the stress of police work, when a physical reveals she has a pre-ulcerous condition. But as the week progresses, Harry and Carol find it is they who are creating stress for Barbara. Laverne tries to track down a case of Harry's favorite bandages, which have been discontinued.

23

The Cruise

While on a cruise, Barbara practices for a talent show, Harry tries to avoid two ladies who won't leave him alone, and Carol finds the man of her dreams...who disappears when Charley steers the ship into the Bermuda Triangle. Meanwhile back home, Laverne redesigns Harry's refrigerator.

24

The Way We Are

Harry looks forward to a visit from a childhood sweetheart, until a childhood rival also resurfaces. Charley wonders what FICA is when the company starts taking part of his paycheck.