Empty Nest Season 5, Episode 22: Two For the Road

1

Why Do Fools Fall in Love?

Barbara agrees to drop by and check up on Charley after he receives a death threat. Seeing how much they have in common, Charley becomes smitten with her . Meanwhile, after Harry lets a young patient play with Dreyfuss, the kid tries to buy him.

2

Take My Garage, Please

Carol begins dating Patrick, the Westons' sprinkler man. When his apartment is condemned, Carol persuades Harry to let Patrick move into the garage.

3

R.N. On the Rebound

Barbara sets newly divorced Laverne up on a blind date with a coroner's assistant. Carol is jealous of the friendship between Patrick and Charley (who surprisingly understands the depth of Patrick's art).

4

. . . Or Forever Hold Your Peace

Harry objects to Arthur's sudden wedding plans, which prompts Arthur to end their friendship. Carol tries to get Barbara to arrest her at a protest.

5

The Boomerang Affair

Harry tries his best to get a lady to agree to date him, but soon wishes he hadn't bothered when she tries to control every area of his life. Laverne tries to conceal an ulcer.

6

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

After finding a man guilty during jury duty, Carol tires to clear her conscience by hiring a former criminal to work at her catering business.

7

It's Not Easy Being Green

Harry agrees to help Laverne hand out candy on Halloween, while Carol and Patrick are mugged after attending a costume party dressed as Madame Curie and Radium.

8

Dirty Harry

Carol talks Harry into appearing with her on Geraldo. A young patient tries to increase his height so he will be tall enough to ride an amusement park roller coaster.

9

Timing is Everything

Harry attempts to start a relationship with an old friend. Carol tries to assemble exercise equipment she bought for Patrick, and when she can't do it she reluctantly calls on Charley for help.

10

Thanksgiving at the Westons'

Laverne is reluctant to accept Harry's invitation to Thanksgiving dinner and flashbacks to the previous such dinner show why.

11

The Body Beautiful

Harry discovers that a patient is using steroids. Upset that Patrick is using a nude model in his work, Carol starts thinking she's not attractive enough and attempts an exercise regimen. Laverne is put in charge of fire drills.

12

Overboard

A storm strands cruise passenger Charley adrift in a raft and he returns a different man. Carol and Patrick have a chance to work together, but she becomes jealous when he gets the job and she doesn't.

13

Emily

When Emily returns from college, Carol decides to take her little sister under her wing, so to speak, and sets her up on a blind date with Patrick's friend. Meanwhile, Emily's rich boyfriend, whom she doesn't want to see anymore, doesn't want their relationship to be over.

14

The Sting

The FBI wants Emily to help them nab her bookie boyfriend. Laverne teaches Charley CPR.

15

The Fracas in Vegas

Harry and Charley travel to Las Vegas to see a boxing match but the trip is plagued with problems. Meanwhile, Emily wonders when Carol stopped being her cool big sister when Carol won't let her visiting college friends crash on the living room floor. Emily later regrets her comments when Carol takes control and starts teaching the whole group to do 70's dances.

16

Pardon My Flashback

While gathered around the television for the Super Bowl, the Westons, Laverne, and Charley reflect on old times.

17

Dog Day Afternoon

A small investment in a mall makes Laverne especially bossy. Carol consults an animal psychologist for help when Dreyfuss ignores her after she yells at him.

18

More to Love

Emily is dating Carol's old school friend Danny, who compulsively jokes about his weight problem; Laverne is spending all her spare time on the phone gossiping with other nurses, but is aghast when another nurse accidentally hears her and Harry together in the supply closet and alerts the grapevine.

19

My Dad, My Doctor

Emily upsets Harry when she tears a ligament in her knee and needs surgery, but chooses instead to follow a therapy program recommended by another doctor. Meanwhile, Patrick goes camping and Charley tags along.

20

Love and Marriage

Carol is upset when cousin Little Carol visits and announces her wedding plans. Charley is sentenced to community service at the hospital and gets some helpful tips from Jack Trenton.

21

The All-American Boy - Not!

Harry befriends a young shoplifter while volunteering at a free clinic and brings him home. The boy, an uncontrolled diabetic, later runs away, taking the Westons furniture with him.

22

Two For the Road

Patrick and Emily drive back from New York together in his van. Meanwhile, Harry, who is home sick with the flu, must bear the brunt of Carol's certainty that something will happen between the two while on the road.

23

Aunt Verne Knows Best

Laverne is too controlling on her nephew, who is in town to attend college. Carol is convinced her relationship with Patrick will be over before their nearing six month anniversary because no other relationship (except her doomed marriage) has lasted past six months.

24

My Mother, My Self

Charley's mother arrives to tell him that she and his father are divorced and ends up falling in love with Harry. Carol goes on a trip to meet Patrick's mother. Laverne battles her insurance company.

25

Charley to the Rescue

Emily is harassed by an obnoxious comic while working as a waitress on Charley's cruise ship. Laverne fixes Harry up with what she thinks is his perfect match.

26

Surprise! Surprise!

It's Harry's birthday and he overhears Charley planning a surprise party, but soon finds out it isn't for him. Flashbacks from seasons past highlight this episode.