Even Stevens Season 3, Episode 7: Raiders of the Lost Sausage

The Kiss

Loius and Tawny are having lunch together at school when she says that she's got something in her eye. Louis takes a close look--and unexpectedly kisses her! Both of them sit there stunned when Ren comes along and snaps them out of it by taking Tawny off for a costume fitting for the play she's writing and directing. Louis tells Twitty about the kiss, but says he doesn't know what Tawny's reaction was. Twitty goes to the play rehearsal to try and find out. Tawny tells him to have Louis meet her the next morning by her locker. Meanwhile, Coach Tugnut, the unlikely theatre advisor, tells Ren her play about Abigail and John Adams is deadly dull and needs to be spiced up. The next day Louis waits for Tawny nervously, but she surprises him by saying she'd like to be his girlfriend! The happy couple walk off hand-in-hand. At home, the Stevens family is watching an old romance movie on TV which gives Ren the idea to give her play a more romantic theme. Donnie is concerned the the movie didn't

Where in the World Is Pookie Stevens?

Louis badly wants a set of drums he's seen in a pawn shop window, but his parents say that he (and they) have accumulated too much junk that just sits around the house. Louis proposes they have a garage sale. Steve and Eileen go for the idea and tell their son he can buy the drums if they make enough money. Meanwhile, Ren is apprehensive about Scott Brooks coming by to be her ""study date,"" and Ruby is there to help get the two together. While the three are studying, Ren's favorite stuffed animal from her childhood, Mr. Pookie, gets mistakenly included with the items to be sold at the yard sale. The sale is successful--even Donnie's old unwashed uniforms and cleats are bought by Coach Tugnut. But when Scott leaves, Ren looks for Mr. Pookie, who was hidden away during the study date. She can't find him, and her mom breaks the bad news to her: he was sold at the yard sale! Ren accepts the news maturely at first, but later she finds out from Ruby that Scott has gone back to his old girlfri

My Best Friend's Girlfriend

Louis and Twitty are indulging in their favorite new pastime--playing in the defective packaging material dump--when Twitty spies Allison Wong, a girl he has a crush on. Louis encourages him to talk to her, and he does. Allison seems to like Twitty too, and they make plans for later. At school Principal Wexler and Coach Tugnut host the dedication of a new rock-climbing wall named after Donnie. Tawny and Louis notice Twitty and Allison in the audience looking mighty cozy. Louis tricks Ren into competing against Donnie in a rock-climbing demonstration. Amazingly, Ren wins. Donnie says nothing but is upset. At lunch, Twitty brings Allison to the table with Louis, Tawny and Tom. The new couple are obviously getting very close and Louis is beginning to feel frozen out. Later Louis is happy when Twitty drops by his house--until he sees Allison with him. Louis can't find anything for the three of them to do together and Twitty and Allison leave, acting like lovebirds. Also at the Stevens hous

Your Toast

Ren is excited to get a job at the coolest shop in the mall's food court. It's a place called Your Toast, where they serve up toast all different ways and put on a show while doing it. The only problem is the ""wormy"" assitant manager Mr. Squirelli, who runs the place like a dictator. But Squirelli likes the way Ren works, and after she runs off a troublemaking customer--her bother Louis--he promotes her to assistant assitant manager, a job Ruby was in line for. Later the manager finds that someone broke one of the ""Ten Commandments of Toast"" when he finds a half-eaten piece behind the counter. He interrogates Ren while trying to find out who did it, but she won't tell on Ruby. Squirelli fires Ruby anyway, though. Ruby blames Ren for her losing her job, and co-workers Hector and Denise do, too. One day when Squirelli is gone from the store, Hector and Denise see Ruby shoping at the mall and go to talk to her, leaving Ren alone with tons of customers. Larry Beale sees that Ren is in trou

Band on the Roof

In the form of a ""rockumentary"" directed by that noted filmmaker Tom Gribalski, we witness the ups and downs of the Twitty-Stevens Connection, the rock band featuring Alan Twitty on guitar, Louis Stevens on drums, Ren Stevens on vocals, Tawny Dean on keyboards and Artie Ryan on bass, who is replaced by another bass guitarist--would you believe Beans? The rest of the Stevens family is delighted and amazed to find that Ren and Louis are actually getting along and working together as songwriters. But a problem soon arises. Louis comes up with an idea for a rooftop concert to be given at the school, a la the Beatles and U2, even though Principal Wexler will not give permission for it. Ren won't go along with the idea, leading to a big argument between her and Louis, and she quits the band over the dispute. Louis pushes ahead with his idea and the group manage to sneak their equipment onto the roof past Mr. Wexler and Coach Tugnut. But one by one the nervous band members drop out of the pro

Little Mr. Sacktown

Louis and Twitty are not too impressed when Tom shows off his cousin Grayson, the reigning two-time winner of the ""Little Mr. Sacremento"" pageant, but when they hear there is a $1000 prize for the contest winner, they team up with Tawny to try and groom Beans to be a contestant. It isn't easy though; Beans' only talent is--ah, making a certain kind of noise with his cupped hand and armpit to the tune of ""Polly Wolly Doodle!"" Louis tries to teach him another talent, but is frustrated. Beans overhears Louis complaining to his mother than the youngster is hopeless. With his feelings hurt, Beans goes to drown his sorrows in a plate of bacon at the Bacon Shack. Louis finds Beans and tells him a secret: he himself was once in the Little Mr. Sacktown pageant, but he blew his chance many years ago. Beans thinks that Louis is realy trying to satisfy his own ego and tells him that he'll stay in the pageant, but he won't use Louis' help. With the Stevens family watching on TV, the pageant begins,

Close Encounters of the Beans Kind

Ren gets stuck tutoring Beans in a writing program. Meanwhile downstairs at the Stevens house Louis and Twitty get spooked after watching a show about possible alien life on Earth. They get even more scared when a mysterious man in black named Mason comes to the door looking for Beans. But the youngster has disappeared all of a sudden just as mysteriously. Louis and Twitty's imaginations begin to run wild. What do they really know about Beans? Could he be...an alien from outer space? Nervously, the boys secretly track Beans home to his house. Louis and Twitty are laughing at themselves for being so paranoid, but then they look in the window to see Beans greeting his parents--two gigantic bugs! The guys run away screaming. When the boys tell the story to Ren she of course thinks they're nuts, but after she sees the story that Beans has written is printed in indecipherable symbols, she too begins to get paranoid. Once again Beans, as always, pops up mysteriously in the house. But the gov

Short Story

Some students from Jefferson are temporarily going to Lawrence Junior High, and Ren, Ruby and Monique are checking out the boys for possible dates to the upcoming semi-formal dance. Ren is sharing a locker with a Jefferson student named Travis Gresham. She is infatuated with him, but she's never actually seen him yet, despite her efforts. Meanwhile, Louis is incurring the wrath of all sorts of people, including Twitty, Principal Wexler and a girl named Charlene (who stomps on his feet!) because of the pranks he's been pulling. But in truth, Louis isn't the one doing those things; it's some other mysterious guy. Ren finally hears someone address Travis by name at lunch, so she goes over, sits down and talks to him. After a while, she asks him to the dance. Travis is everything she's been looking for--until they both stand up and she sees that he's half a head shorter than she is! Ren is looking through the school files when she comes upon a Jefferson student named Loomis Freeman. The gu

Hutch Boy

Louis is being threatened by Lloyd, a bully at his school. Tom tells Louis that he needs to stand up to Lloyd, but Louis dismisses Tom's advice, inferring that he's a wimp who doesn't know what he's talking about. But Louis isn't handling Lloyd very well, and in shop class Lloyd humiliates Louis by putting the smaller guy into a hutch (cabinet) that he's building. Tom decides he's seen enough. As calm as Clint Eastwood, he strolls up to Lloyd and tells him to stop. Then he surprises everyone by putting on a dazzling display of karate moves, breaking boards and other pieces of wood left and right! Lloyd immediately backs down. In an instant, Tom changes in the eyes of Louis from a wimp to a hero. He tells Tom he wants to be his student and learn his ways. But before his first lesson, Louis impulsively calls up Lloyd and invites him to meet in an alley for a showdown. Tom then tells him it will take Louis nine years to learn his teachings! Louis learns all he can in one day, then goes to

Hardly Famous

Ren and Pricipal Wexler are giddy with excitement when famous actor Barry Hudson Jr. shows up at Lawrence Jr. High to help judge auditions for the new Sacramento Arts Conservatory for Creative Youth (SACCY, or ""sassy'). So is State Senator Eileen Stevens, who takes Barry right out from under Ren's nose and takes him on a tour of the school. Tom Gribalski is excited about auditioning, but Louis and Twitty ridicule his ambition at lunch. Tawny listens and gets irritated; she's getting fed up with her friends' endless practical jokes and childish behavior. She defends Tom and tells off Louis and Twitty. The boys go to the audition to make fun of the performers. Tom sings a severely off-key song for his audition (accompanied on piano by his mother Doris!) Louis and Twitty are about to leave when, surprisingly, Tawny gets up to take a turn in front of the judges. She does a dramatic monologue which moves everyone and she gets an ovation from judges and spectators. Louis realizes Tawny is a

The King Sloppy (aka The Big Sloppy)

Boy on a Rock

Twitty has broken up with his girlfriend Allison, but he says things are OK between them and they are still friends. Louis is surprised, though, when Allison starts giving him ""the eye"" right away. Louis tells Tawny about this. She's very skeptical, and bluntly asks Allison if she's been checking out Louis. Tawny is surprised when Allison say yes, ""I like his look."" Louis is even more surprised when Allison asks him to meet her at a local park with a reputation as a place to make out. Louis is confused about what to do. He's concerned how his best friend Twitty will react to himself and Allison as a couple so soon after breaking up with her. His conflicting emotions are played out in his head in the form of a couple of old guys sitting around in a deli talking! Despite his fears, Louis tells Twitty he can't hang out after school and goes to the park to meet Allison. But when she asks Louis to put on a bathing suit she's brought along, he stops her, saying that this is all wrong and he'

Dirty Work

Principal Wexler gives his student assistant Ren the task of investigating a new organization at school called the ""Lumberjack Club."" It seems that Louis got fifty signatues on a petition, allowing him to get $218 from the school to start a new club. Ren finds out it's what she expected: Louis is pulling another scam. The only purpose of the Lumberjack Club is to provide Louis, Twitty, Tawny and Tom with lots of pancakes and high-quality syrup! Ren is ecstatic when she finds that Principal Wexler has given her a desk of her own right outside her office, with a nameplate and all the works. But she's not so happy when she ends up doing all of Wexler's work while he goes out riding in his new car. When Wexler tells her she must fire the school's old janitor, she puts her foot down, saying she won't to the principal's dirty work for him. An argument ensues, and Ren quits her job as student assistant. But right away she misses being out of the action, so she goes back to apologize, only to

The Big Splash

Tawny, Twitty and Tom wait for Louis, who they are supposed to meet in the gym. To their great surprise, they find out that he's a member of the school's diving team! But when Louis does his first dive in competition, it's a ragged cannonball that splashes about half the water out of the pool, to the crowd's great amusement. Meanwhile, Ruby has the early word on who is going to win in the class favorites voting. Ren is set to sweep the big awards, but when she hears that another girl, Kelly, is ahead in the ""Best Smile"" voting, it brings out her competitive nature and she determines to win that award too. When Louis comes home late, he doesn't want to tell his parents where he's been, but Ren spils the beans about him being on the diving team. Steve and Eileen are delighted at this news. Ren works on her smile that night and the next day at school she and Kelly are involved in a big ""smile-down."" At Louis' next diving meet, his dad brings along his boss Mr. Kupchek to see his son. But

Beans on the Brain

Louis, Twitty and Tom are engaging in one of their usual crazy pursuits (this time trying to walk on the ceiling!) when they find that Beans has once again snuck into the house and is annoying them. Beans says he has a cousin named Chris that the guys might like to meet, but they throw him out anyway, only to find out that not only is Chris a girl, she's a pretty one, too! Now all of a sudden Louis and his friends are fawning all over Beans, hoping that he will introduce them to his cousin. Beans puts them through a test and decides he'll let Louis meet her. Louis arranges to take a gondola ride with Chris, but she shows up with Beans in tow. Louis manages to ditch Beans, and on the gondola ride sparks start to fly between him and Chris. She gives him permission to kiss her, but when Louis starts to move in on her, Chris' head morphs into a replica of--Beans!! Louis screams in horror! At school Twitty and Tom want to know all the juicy details about Louis' date, but Louis is still trau

Snow Job

In Mr. Lopez's algebra class, Tawny and Twitty are doing great, but Louis is pretty much clueless. Despite his teacher's warning about the upcoming mid-term, Louis shows no concern about learning the material. Instead he spends his time with Beans working on some strange device. We soon learn what its purpose is: it's a snow machine, and Louis takes it to Principal Wexler's house to try and fool him by faking a blizzard so he will cancel classes on the day of the algebra exam. The ruse almost works until Ren comes along and blows Louis' cover. In a meeting with Mr. and Mrs. Stevens, Wexler comes down hard on Louis, suspending him for a week. Eileen Stevens takes the job of tutoring her son while he's out of school and she puts him through a tough course of learning. But Louis still gets nowhere with the algebra. Ren confronts Louis and asks why he went to such trouble to get out of a test. Louis admits that he just doesn't understand anything about algebra but is embarrassed to admit t

Stevens Manor

Louis has a scheme to raise money for a snowboarding trip for himself, Twitty, Tawny and Tom. While everyone else is out of the house on a weekend night, he plans to turn his home into ""Stevens Manor,"" a bed and breakfast inn, and he's already got guests' reservations! When his parents leave on an anniversary trip, he and his friends put on monogrammed shirts, redecorate the house, and greet their new arrivals, who find that the staff includes Tawny playing cocktail-lounge piano and Beans as a masseur! Despite some near-disasters (like Tom turning out to be an obnoxious waiter), the guys seem to be pulling off their plan. Meanwhile Ren is at a sleepover at Ruby's, who is down after breaking up with her boyfriend. The two plan a ""boy-free"" evening, but when her ex calls on the phone, Ruby spends the night talking to him. Ren goes home in disgust and climbs in her bed only to find--there's someone already in it! Ren hits the roof when she finds out what Louis has done and is immediately

Model Principal (aka This Year's Principal)

A tearful Ren can hardly believe it--Principal Wexler is leaving his job at the school! What's more, he's going off to pursue a career as A MODEL! Louis and Twitty are extremely pleased with themselves, since it was their doings that gave Wexler the idea he could be a successful model. Now the new man in the job will be Vice-Principal Landau, a real soft touch who's mostly interested in performing magic. For a while everything goes the way the boys want it and the school is in total chaos. That's when Ren goes to Mr. Landau and convinces him to crack down, saying there are other ways to do it besides screaming and yelling at students, which he's not good at. So Landau comes up with an idea to make the students wear ""Scarlet Letter""-type signs around their necks for every infraction of the rules, from ""I Am a Troublemaker"" for Louis to ""I Am an Eye-Roller"" for Tawny! Louis asks Ren for help in stopping Landau's new policy, but she doesn't have much sympathy until she notices that every

Surf's Up

In Ren We Trust

At school, Louis and Tom are fooling around with Tom's boomerang when Louis flings it in the direction of Ren, Ruby and Monique, nearly hitting them. The group looks for the lost boomerang, but instead of finding it Ren stumbles upon something else. a metal briefcase, the kind used to carry large sums of cash! When the gang gets home, they open it up and check it out. Amazingly, they find that it IS full of money--$4,412 to be exact! Everyone starts mentally dividing up the loot and deciding how they are going to spend it--except for Ren, of course. Though the others are reluctant, they finally listen to Ren when she tells them the money is not theirs and must be turned over to the proper authorities. They all agree that Ren, being the most responsible one, should take the money to the police. But on the way to the station, Ren sees a pair of lizard-skin pants in the window of an expensive botique. She stops in to look, and the saleswoman there does quite a sales job on her, so much so

Leavin' Stevens

As the Stevens family watches the television anxiously on election night, Eileen is declared the winner of a seat in the United States House of Representatives! This means big--and immediate--changes for everyone, as the family makes hasty plans to move to Washington, D.C. On Louis' last day of school, he and Twitty are sorry to be parted, of course, but neither seems quite as upset as Tom, who's nearly in tears. When it comes time to say goodbye to Tawny, she and Louis awkwardly grope for the right words to say. Louis is on the verge of telling her that he'll miss her, but instead says he'll miss the cafeteria's chili fries! Ren, Ruby and Monique aren't having any trouble expressing themselves, however; all three girls are upset. True to her usual efficient self, though, Ren goes out and finds a new best friend for her two mates. Her name is Denise, and she's a virtual clone of Ren! Meanwhile when Donnie tells Coach Tugnut he's leaving town, the news sends the coach into a catatonic