Dharma & Greg Season 3, Episode 2: Welcome to Hotel Calamari

1

One Flew Over the Lawyer's Desk

Questioning his place in the universe, Greg begins a journey of self-discovery by exploring his reasons for becoming a lawyer.

30 min

2

Welcome to Hotel Calamari

Dharma tracks the missing Greg down at a seedy motel. (I missed this episode and it has not yet been rerun.)

30 min

3

Dharma's Inferno

When the financial realities of Greg's unemployment sink in, Dharma takes on a slew of new jobs and makes a deal with the devil to make ends meet: she accepts covert checks from Kitty in exchange for expanded mother/daughter-in-law time spent together. Only when Edward takes Greg to a high-power suits party while Kitty takes her to the opera to see ""Faust"" does Dharma come to her senses and rush back just in time to prevent Greg from accepting a corporate job.

30 min

4

Play Lady Play

Dharma agrees to play drums for a friend's teenage garage band. Meanwhile, she helps Greg through his crisis by purposefully invoking arguments with him.

30 min

5

I Did It for You, Kitty

Faced with Kitty's midlife crisis, Dharma decides to help her fulfill her lifelong dream of winning a beauty pageant.

30 min

6

The Very Grateful Dead

Dharma becomes convinced that the ghost of a recently deceased neighbor wants to conduct some unfinished business -- and the spirit soon moves Greg in a rather carnal way.

30 min

7

Fairway to Heaven

Greg decides his life's fulfillment lies on the professional golf course, but Dharma isn't so sure if she should let him play through, given that Greg's journey of self-discovery may mean relocating to Scotland.

30 min

8

Tie-Dying the Knot

Abby and Larry decide to make it official after thirty years of unwedded bliss, provided they can get Kenny Loggins to sing at the ceremony. Meanwhile, Greg comes full circle on his search for tranquility a part-time resident of the local park comes to him with a legal problem.

30 min

9

Law and Disorder

Constant interference makes Greg wish that his new law practice were a little more private, especially when Dharma keeps solving his client's problems without recourse to the law; Dharma reaches out to her landlady on behalf of the other tenants; Larry pursues an increasingly vindictive feud against his neighbor—who turns out to be his uncle.

30 min

10

Thanksgiving Until It Hurts

In an attempt to make Thanksgiving more enjoyable than last year's debacle (which we see in flashbacks), Dharma and Greg devise a plan to entirely avoid their families. When it becomes clear how much this has hurt everyone, the pair wind up more stuffed than any turkey after eating four Thanksgiving dinners: their own, one cooked (barely) by Kitty, another with Abby and Larry, and a fourth with Celia's family -- who have a fight that top last year's.

30 min

11

Lawyers, Beer and Money

While his fledgling independent law practice struggles, Greg feels emasculated when Dharma hits the jackpot in a TV commercial whose producers caught her in a late-night promo for Greg's business.

30 min

12

Looking for the Goodbars

Worried that they've run out of friends, Dharma and Greg "interview" a series of potential couples to see who meets their strict requirements.

30 min

13

Drop Dead Gorgeous

Finding that Greg is overwhelmed with paper work (and that her own efforts to help only lead to desktop carnal encounters), Dharma determines to hire him a first-rate legal secretary. She tries to get pointers from Greg's former secretary Marlene, but discovers that Marlene's only real skill is in dodging work. After submitting applicants to a battery of tests, both skill-related and New Age, Dharma finds the perfect secretary: the intelligent, caring, spiritually centered Kim -- who also happens to be a former fashion model. Despite Jane's skepticism, Dharma insists she trusts Greg completely and goes out of her way to throw Kim & Greg together, going so far as to have her accompany Greg to a dance with Kitty and Edward while she goes to a Smothers Brothers vineyard jamboree with Abby and Larry. When the car brakes Kim supposedly had serviced fail, Dharma's trust looks like a fatal mistake...

30 min

14

Good Cop, Bad Daughter

Dharma's friendship with two police officers gets her anti-establishment father Larry hot under the collar, and the family feud threatens to ruin Abby's surprise birthday party.

30 min

15

The Trouble with Troubadour

Dharma lends a helping hand to singer-songwriters Lyle Lovett and k.d. lang when their fame and fortune leaves them unfulfilled. Meanwhile, a sarcastic hotel clerk spoils plans for the couple's romantic Valentine's Day getaway.

30 min

16

Weekend at Larry's

While spending the weekend at Dharma's parents' house, Greg fears they're in grave danger when an old family friend shows up unexpectedly -- Nunzio and Stinky dig up his skeleton in Larry's garden. Meanwhile, Larry and Abby run into Edward and Kitty on a flight to Washington and discover that Edward is testifying before Congress on an environmental issue that Larry and Abby are protesting.

30 min

17

The Spy Who Said He Loved Me

Dharma runs into an old boyfriend (Jason Beghe) whose endless, high-flown tales of jet setting sound more and more like flights of fancy. Meanwhile, Greg's hernia becomes a popular topic for discussion and forces several trips to the doctor

30 min

18

A Night to Remember

Much to Greg's horror, Dharma tries to help Donald make a memorable evening of his first sexual experience. Meanwhile, Greg searches for memories from his childhood but decides he would rather remain in the present; and Larry develops temporary powers of recollection.

30 min

19

The Best Laid Plans

For the first time in her life, Dharma gets depressed about her sex life when she discovers that Greg can't make a move in the bedroom without checking his day planner first. Meanwhile, a depressed Greg confides in Pete, who convinces him the only logical explanation for the downturn in his sex life is that Dharma is seeing someone else.

30 min

20

Talkin' About My Regeneration

Dharma's ritual of unburdening her sins every seven years reveals things that would be better off remaining a burden. Meanwhile, Larry convinces the Montgomerys' maid, Celia, to go on strike, leading everyone to discover how much control Celia has over Kitty's personality.

30 min

21

Big Daddy

Greg's old girlfriend Stephanie asks for his help in getting her son into Greg's old prep school; and once Dharma sets eyes on the boy, she becomes convinced that he is Greg's child.

30 min

22

Your Place or Mine

After replacing her furniture with Greg's stored bachelor stuff, Dharma is a changed woman. But not necessarily for the better -- she becomes strangely possessed with material ambition. Meanwhile, Edward finally rebels against the fact that even his private den is entirely decorated by Kitty.

30 min

23

Hell to the Chief

When Abby objects to being president by acclamation yet again of the educational co-op, she impulsively nominates Dharma to run against her, and both women are nonplussed when Dharma is instantly elected. While Abby tries to be supportive, Dharma sets about making changes, which backfire, convincing her that Abby is sabotaging her. Meanwhile, k.d. lang asks Greg for a small legal favor which quickly goes to Greg's head.

30 min

24

Be My Baby

Dharma's vision of a baby sets her and Greg to officially start trying; Pete asks for Greg's help after getting fired; Abby celebrates the onset of menopause.

30 min