Not the Nine O'Clock News Season 3, Episode 1: Not The Nine O'Clock In The Morning News

Election Special

Sketches: Hedgehog apology / Athletics from Birmingham / Bad Language / Buffet car / Cinema Usher / Shoe Shop Theft / Constable Savage / Fly The Flag / Bath Salts / Laxatives Tested / Burns Unit / Granny's Mini Metro / Explicit Bag / Quick Service Queue / Barbarian Lager / Welsh Choir / England My Leotard / Ice cream van

Miss World

Sketches: Thatcher out/Thatcher in / Pyjama case / Presidential Aide / Baboons / Walking Into A Tree / TUC Tea Break / Pop Group / Reg Varney / Sooty Surgeon / Soccer Violence / Join The Royal Family / Gay Flasher / Kendal Mint Cake / I Believe / BBC2 Closedown

Show Seventeen

Sketches: I'm on fire / Nationwide twins / Swedish film centre / ouglas Adams / London tourist board / Sleepy Firemen / Space Salvationists / Girls' Football / Roger Cook / Sir Keith Joseph / Counting Sheep / One Man And His Lion / Return Of Rowan's Rant / Soup and Cocoa / Auld Lang Syne / Controlling TV shows / Big Jobs / Last Of The Mohicans

Show Eighteen

Sketches: Ready Brek / Daily Star / Elephant Man / Thieves without stockings to put on their heads but with a pair of tights / Battered Baby / Harty Skit / Sunbed / The Obit / This Is Your Life / Tax Evaders / American Express (Masons) / Open Marriage / Schmidt Old Slag / Cocktail party / Burglar / Cold students / The New Creed / Vicar Breakdown / Lager / All-purpose Advert / Henry Cooper / Chess / Man Alive Skit / Disco which isn't really / Aural sex

23 min

Show Nineteen

Sketches: Apology to the Feemasons / Panda Crossing / Brewed By Robots / Pope's Hat / Ticket Collector / Piano / Chilean Milk Marketing Board / Gang Of Three / Windsors Greatest Hits / Crowd control / Gift Shop / Giscard / Michelangelo's David / Photo Booth / Thatcher Leaving / Headmaster and pupil / Silent Movie / Weather Forecast / Euthanasia Society

24 min

Show Twenty

Sketches: Baronet Oswold Ernold Mosley / Punk aerosol / Queen's Visit / Loyal Apology / Iran & Iraq / Barry Manilow / Cargo Cult / Pneumatic Drills / Kidney Donor / Wimpy worker / Party Political Broadcast / Sperm Donor / Acupuncture / Not The Parrot Sketch / Karate For The Deaf / Divorce Ceremony / Nine To Five / Rolf Harris

24 min

Show Twenty One

Sketches: Announcer / Musical aeroplane / Polish cartoon / Radio controlled ospreys / University Challenge / C'est la Vie (Abba skit) / Age Of Consent / Carol Singers / Christmas Blackmail / Multiplex / Thatchula / Shirley Williams / Coffee Commerical / Sexist Cameraman / Sexism Discussion / Door sketch / SPG Man / Swag Card / Now Dry Your Hands / Ayatollah auction

24 min