David Mitchell's Soapbox Season 3, Episode 1: Phone Calls

1

Phone Calls

David picks up on the assumption that everything is quicker and easier to sort out by text. Is sending bite-sized messages really that effective? Or is it just a small pointless chore?

2

LOL

David tackles text speak and the charming little innovation LOL. But will he be for or against the modern habit of approving a joke with the abbreviation?

3

Machines

David berates the modern button-loving gadget designers who are given free reign with their counterintuitive scratchable DVDs. Do you too lament the simple days of the VHS?

4

Weddings

In this episode David takes issue with ridiculously extravagant weddings. He questions whether they're really supposed to be special for you, or for everyone else?

5

Stag Nights

David rants about the totally invented tradition of the stag night.

6

Naming Your Child

David discusses the folly of giving your child a unique name. But as soon as you get used to a name do you stop noticing it's strangeness altogether? Just think of 'Peep Show'...

7

Sports TV

In this episode David gets agitated by broadcasters who plaster logos over logos over logos. Shouldn't there be a degree of mature cooperation where the highest bidder gets the slot?

8

Chef's Special

David discusses the subtext of the sign 'If you are not satisfied with anything we serve, the chef will eat it himself.' Just how bad can the food be?

9

Cheap Hotels

David picks up on British reservations about calling hotels 'cheap.' But cheap is good is it not, so why not say it?

10

Friends

David discusses the trials and tribulations of keeping up with old friends from which there is no etiquette of release. Shouldn't there be a system for rotating them every ten years?

11

Dell Quiz

David asks a series of questions that are not imminently googleable but to which there are definitively correct answers. The fabulous prize? A Dell XPS15z.

12

Television Credits

You know those credits which disrupt your television viewing pleasure at the end of every programme? Squashing the show you were watching into one half of the screen, whilst a voice speaks over the music, what on earth are they thinking?

13

Gifts

David has his say on the rationale of the gift-giving ritual, from ill-fitting jumpers to duplicate copies of the Bonesetter's daughter, the whole system is hideously inefficient. Aren't we better off putting anything we actually want on an accessible online list?

14

Britain's Drinking Culture

David talks about the country's problem with its drinking culture; but not in the way of 'Broken Britain's Wild Teens In Booze Binge Shame Shock', rather like having a nice glass of wine at a party, or a pint in the pub.

15

Dell Quiz Answers

David Mitchell provides answers for the Dell Quiz.

16

Sustainability

Is there perhaps a way of combating wastefulness and planned obsolescence. From tables to fuel, could a subscription fee perhaps be a viable solution?

17

Burden of Proof

David Mitchell follows his sustainability rant with one on saving the environment. There is always heated debate about global warming, but until there is proof it doesn't exist, shouldn't we be looking for solutions?

18

Young Man

The phrase 'young man' is a joke that is made to a boy who is obviously not a man, but can also be said to a man who is clearly not young. This certainly gives David something to think about at the grand age of 37.

19

Marathons

David Mitchell analyses marathon runners this week, and what the logic is behind their attempts to raise money for charity. Surely all the time they spend training, would have been better spent working a job? After all, they would make a lot more money for charity!

20

Not One

With season 3 of David Mitchell's soapbox coming to an end, David discusses what matters (and what doesn't matter) when it comes to ranting.