Alice Season 7, Episode 13: Jolene and the Night Watchman

1

Sorry, Wrong Lips

Debbie Reynolds plays an actress whose torrid memoirs convince Mel he's the one she remembers as the greatest kisser in her life.

30 min

2

Do You Take . . . ?

Mel tries to outdo an old buddy who shows up boasting a track record of fast living and sporting a blonde on his arm as proof.

30 min

3

The Secret of Mel's Diner

There's gold in them there walls, or so Mel reckons after learning that the eccentric who built his diner left $20,000 stashed in another building.

30 min

4

Alice at the Palace

Joel Grey offers his services gratis as the leading man in a musical revue bankrolled by Mel and featuring Alice. Mel, however, has never heard of Grey and gives the role to his bookie.

30 min

5

Joel Grey Saves the Day

Joel Grey walks out after producer Mel turns a revue about New York into a desert musical with tunes like ""Two Tootsies from Tucson"" and ""Ramona from Arizona.""

30 min

6

Alice's Turkey of a Thanksgiving

Alice's meddlesome mother knocks the stuffing out of her daughter's Thanksgiving dinner.

30 min

7

Carrie on the Rebound

Carrie is slow to come out of a depression after a quickie divorce.

30 min

8

Jolene's Brother Jonas

Jolene's brother pays a surprise visit, but the surprise is on him, he gets an icy reception from his sister.

30 min

9

Alice Sees the Light

Everyone takes with a grain of salt Alice's claim that she saw a UFO.

30 min

10

Vera the Virtuoso

Vera, whose cello playing can reduce a virtuoso to tears, is asked to play in a local string quartet.

30 min

11

Alice Faces the Music

The waitresses pit their musical knowledge against that of three plumbers on a TV quiz show.

30 min

12

Tommy, the Jailbird

Alice fears that freshman Tommy is abusing his new freedom away from home by majoring in extracurricular activities.

30 min

13

Jolene and the Night Watchman

Jolene can't bring herself to bruise the tender feelings of a bruiser who saved her life and now considers her his girl.

30 min

14

Mel's Dream Car

Mel is stripping his gears over his jazzy new Porsche he purchased for a measly $20.

30 min

15

Come Back Little Sharples

Mel has had it up to his keister with the way things are going so he absconds to his apartment for a beer and pizza binge.

30 min

16

Vera, the Torch

Vera wishes her landlady the worst for evicting her pets then feels responsible when the old crank's apartment catches on fire.

30 min

17

The Grass is Always Greener

In role reversals, Mel becomes an employee by accepting an executive position with a catering firm, and the waitresses become owners by buying his diner.

30 min

18

Tommy Fouls Out

Afraid that he's lost the ""right stuff,"" Tommy quits the basketball team.

30 min

19

Vera on the Lam

After Mel decides to have the waitresses bonded, Vera owns up to a criminal past and takes it on the lam.

30 min

20

Mel's Cousin Wendy?

To steal a competitor's secret sauce recipe, Mel persuades his cousin to pose as a woman and apply for a job as a Burger Baby.

30 min

21

Sweet Erasable Mel

Mel's experiment with a computer goes well until Vera enters a transaction and erases every trace of Mel's financial existance.

30 min

22

Tommy Hyatt, Business Consultant

Using Tommy's marketing advice, Mel increases his business but also learns he's heading for bankruptcy.

30 min

23

Jolene Lets the Cat Out of the Bag

Jolene's hair is standing on end with a cat burglar prowling her neighborhood.

30 min