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Late Show with David Letterman
Season 14 • Episode 71 • Matt Lauer, Artie Lange, Augustana
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Late Show with David Letterman Season 14, Episode 71: Matt Lauer, Artie Lange, Augustana
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199 episodesAndy Kindler, motocross demo with Travis Pastrana, Baby Gramps
Travis Pastrana - Andy Kidler - Baby Gramps
Zach Braff, Jeff Brendenburg, The Roots
Dave toys around with the new product from Apple Computers, the "I-Stinguisher"; a man in pajamas and a bathrobe asks Dave where he would find some coffee; writer Jeff Bredenberg promotes his book "Five Little Fixes"; The Roots perform "Here I Come."
Snoop Dogg, Charlie Hill, OK Go
In honor of the show's 13th anniversary, an intern accidentally walks onstage to ask Dave to sign his own greeting card; live from Tracy, California, Ron Patrick drives around in a silver 2000 Volkwagen Bug with a 1,450-horsepower jet engine; Dave tries to interpret Snoop Dogg's "dizzle"-speak; OK Go performed "Here It Goes Again."
Julianne Moore, radio-show hosts Opie and Anthony
Tony visits The Hamptons, where he complains about traffic; recently embarassed CNN anchor Kyra Phillips presents the Top Ten; 5,000 tennis balls are dropped onstage; Opie & Anthony promote their radio show.
Al Franken, Todd Snider
Maria Sharapova, Martha Stewart, Justin Timberlake
Ashton Kutcher, Sam Hornish, Jr., TV on the Radio
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Norm MacDonald
Anne Heche, Luke Ravenstahl, The Who
Johnny Knoxville, Rachael Ray
Johnny Dark measures Dave's inseam, much to his chagrin; while promoting "Ventriloquist Week" for the umpteenth time, Dave argues with his very own dummy; to mark the end of summer, four stagehands help explode beach balls on 53rd Street, then pour 300 gallons of sunblock off the roof.
Dr. Phil McGraw, Willie Tyler and Lester, Sekou Bunch
Day 1 of Ventriloquist Week with Willie Tyler & Lester, plus Dr. Phil and "Survivor" castoff Sekou Bunch!
Patrick Dempsey, Jay Johnson and Darwin, Kasabian
Ventriloquist Week, Day 2: Jay Johnson jokes about evolution while his primate friend Darwin sings "Send in the Clowns" in his "native" tongue; a safe is thrown out an 8th floor window onto a 1996 Buick LeSabre; Kasabian performed "Empire."
Marg Helgenberger, Ronn Lucas and Scorch, Diana Krall
Day 3 of Ventriloquist Week with Ronn Lucas & Scorch, plus Marg Helgenberger and Diana Krall!
Ted Turner, Jeff Dunham and Walter, Fergie
Day 4 of Ventriloquist Week with Jeff Dunham & Walter. Plus, Ted Turner and Fergie!
LeBron James, Todd Oliver and Irving, Ludacris
Ventriloquist Week, Day 5: Todd Oliver has a conversation with his talking dog, Irving; Dave and Lebron James shoot baskets on 53rd Street; Ludacris performed "Money Maker."
Ray Liotta, Elvis Costello & Tony Bennett, Billy Garcia
Throughout the night, several Late Show interns learn how to parallel-park; Dave looks into "A Day in the Life of Hugo Chavez"; Ray Liotta discusses meeting his biological family for the first time; Tony Bennett and Elvis Costello performed "Are You Havin' Any Fun Yet?"
Billy Bob Thornton, Lily Capehart, Sean Lennon
Ten-year-old "lizard charmer" Lily Capehart puts her amphibian pets in doll costumes; Billy Bob Thornton promotes "The School for Scoundrels"; Sean Lennon performed "Wait For Me."
Amanda Peet, Nigella Lawson, Bob Seger
Tonights guests include Amanda Peet, Nigella Lawson and Bob Seger.
Sir Richard Branson, Dane Cook, Monica
Nathan Lane, Jeff Caldwell
Pete Rose, Roy Wood Jr., Cecilia Mansilla
Andy Dick, Keith Olbermann, Brazilian Girls
Alec Baldwin, Vladae the Dog Wizard, Jerry Lee Lewis & Neil Young
Frank Caliendo, Rachael Harris, Xzibit, Phil Pfister
Amy Sedaris, Trey Anastasio
Robin Williams, J.P. Calderon, Sam Moore with Wynonna
Hartford-based meterologist Scot Haney interrupts Dave with a teaser for his five-day forecast; Tony crudely illustrates how North Korea's recent nuclear test will affect the US; Robin Williams discusses rehab and promotes "Man of the Year"; Sam Moore and Wynonna Judd perform "I Can't Stand the Rain."
Nicky Hilton, Bob Woodward, Joseph Arthur
Jon Stewart, Nick Lachey
Katie Couric, Brian Kiley, Alan Jackson
Diddy, Neil Patrick Harris
Tom Arnold, Brian Regan, the latest "Survivor: Cook Islands" castaway
Tonights guests Tom Arnold, Brian Regan, Strongman Stan Drucker and "Survivor" castaways CaoBoi and Cristina Coria.
Tina Fey, Mike Golic & Mike Greenberg, The Killers
Tourist "Todd Volk" plays "Find the Pumpkin" at Hello Deli; ESPN Radio's "Mikes in the Morning" discuss Terrell Owens; The Killers perform "When You Were Young."
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jay Thomas, John Legend
Tonights guests include Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jay Thomas and John Legend.
Tim Robbins, Gene Rurka, Russell Thompkins Jr. and The New Stylistics
Bill O'Reilly, Jeff Altman, Tilly and the Wall
Dave shows off new photos of Harry; Dave Dorsett leaves his station to goof around with a sock puppet; Dave and Bill O'Reilly have another heated discussion about current events; Tilly and the Wall (making their network television debut) performed "Bad Education."
Borat, Tiki Barber, Beck
Borat, Beck and Tiki Barber, plus a Top Ten from Jerry Springer!
Rachel Weisz, David Rakoff, Morningwood
Tonights guests include Rachel Weisz, David Rakoff and Morningwood.
Gary Sinise, Joanne Carson, Jim Norton
Dave plugs the upcoming Ball State-Michigan football game and promises to give a nickel to everyone that attends the game; Dave reads a letter from a fan pertaining to staff hostility; Joanne Carson (Johnny's second wife) discusses her collection of Truman Capote memorabilia.
Rosie O'Donnell, Lady Sovereign
Tonights guests include Rosie O'Donnell and Lady Sovereign.
Martin Short, Kinky Friedman
Martin Short performs a song-and-dance number about the internet's role in his sexless marriage; country singer/novelist/gubernatorial candidate Kinky Friedman lays down his agenda for the state of Texas.
Will Ferrell, Jack Hanna
Britney Spears drops by looking for Will Ferrell; at the end of his interview, Will ad-libs through a selection from "Phantom of the Opera"; Jack Hanna introduces Dave to Fluffy the python, the largest-known snake in captivity.
Dustin Hoffman, Jamie Oliver, The Metropolitan Opera
Outgoing Defense Secretary "Donald Rumsfeld" (Gerard) fields questions from the audience; Jamie Oliver makes sausage carbonara; the Metropolitan Opera performs a selection from the upcoming production of "Il Barbiere di Siviglia."
Kiefer Sutherland, Jenna Fischer, Rocco DeLuca
Live via satellite, Biff walks through a six-acre corn maze in Livermore, California. By the end of the show, Dave asks him if he's scared, prompting Biff to snap back, "It takes a lot more than this to scare me, man."
Daniel Craig, documentary film subject Teri Horton, Elvis Costello, Rosanne Cash
Robin Williams, Rich Little, George Jones
Day 1 of Impressionist Week with Rich Little! Also, Robin Williams and George Jones!
Jack Black & Kyle Gass, Fred Travalena, Tenacious D
Impressionist Week, Day 2: Frank Travalena closes his set by mimicing every president from Kennedy to Dubya. Also, Tenacious D (Jack Black and Kyle Gass) promote their new movie and perform "The Pick of Destiny" with the CBS Orchestra.
Ellen DeGeneres, Gordie Brown, +44
Christopher Guest, Frank Caliendo, The Game
Sen. John Edwards, Kevin Pollak, Will Arnett
Jerry Seinfeld, Dan Patrick
Tonights guests include Jerry Seinfeld and Dan Patrick. Plus, a public apology from Jerry's former co-star Michael Richards.
Hugh Jackman, Chris Elliott, Jimmie Johnson
Tonight's "Rejected FDA Products" include Hebrew National Bacon, Frozen Mayonnaise Bars (which Dave tastes), and OJ Simpson's "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, But If I Did Believe It Was Butter, Here's How I Did It." Later, Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan promote their new paranormal documentary program, "Ghost Squad."
Matthew Broderick, Lupe Fiasco & Jill Scott
Tonights guests include Matthew Broderick and Lupe Fiasco and Jill Scott. Plus, Stupid Pet Tricks!
Eugene Levy, John Mayer
Dave shows footage of the staff Thanksgiving dinner, which includes a drunk Biff telling off Dave and a turkey carver severing his hand; Dave correctly guesses that his mother made pumpkin pie but flubs on the next dessert (he said pecan, it was apple); John Mayer performs "I'm Gonna Find Another You."
Helen Hunt, DJ Shadow, Q-Tip and Lateef
Kate Winslet, Tom Waits
George Clooney, The Decemberists
Richard Simmons, Kate Walsh, Ciara
A giant goat knocks over the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree; Andy Kindler visits the US Marshals Training Academy in Georgia; in his first Late Show appearance in six years, Richard Simmons introduces a food steamer he invented (which blows up in his face); Ciara performs "Promise."
Jennifer Connelly, Tom Dreesen, Shiny Toy Guns
Tonights guests include Jennifer Connelly, Tom Dreesen and Shiny Toy Guns.
Danny DeVito, 16-year-old duct tape expert William Beacom, Silversun Pickups
Teen duct tape expert William Beacom shows off his sticky creations; Silversun Pickups performed "Lazy Eye."
Matt Damon, Barbara Walters
Howard Stern, Gwen Stefani
Tonight at Hello Deli, Dave and Rupert dare a (alleged) SUNY student from Queens to eat a Taco Bell chalupa; Howard Stern walks onstage in a Father Christmas outfit, giving out free Sirius radios to the audience; Gwen Stefani performs "Wind It Up."
Kid Scientists, Regis Philbin, Robert Randolph
Tonights guests include Regis Philbin and Robert Randolph, plus Lee Marek's Kid Scientists!
Will Smith, Evanescence
An irate staffer gives Dave a holiday-themed "f*** you"; "Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton" (Gerard) fields questions from the audience; Will Smith promotes The Pursuit of Happyness and discusses attending the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes wedding.
Clint Eastwood, Matthew Fox
Tonight's guests include Clint Eastwood and Matthew Fox are the scheduled guests.
Frank Caliendo as John Madden, Ben Stiller, Rodrigo & Gabriela
Tonight's guests include Ben Stiller, John Madden and Rodrigo y Gabriela.
Beyonce, Marv Albert, The Dears
Tonight's guests include Beyonce Knowles, Marv Albert and The Dears.
Renée Zellweger, holiday toy demonstration, Taking Back Sunday
A Yule Log is set up in front of Dave's desk, and later Dave and Renee Zellweger pose Christmas-photo style next to the green screen; Dave acknowledges Dave Dorsett's 41 years at CBS by giving him a tie; Shannon Eis' new holiday toys includes Butterscotch, an expensive animatronic pony that allegedly responds to touch but doesn't cooperate onstage; Taking Back Sunday performed "Liar (It Takes One To Know One)."
Tom Brokaw, Cold War Kids
Tom Brokaw and Cold War Kids are the scheduled guests.
Cate Blanchett, Jay Thomas, Darlene Love
Cate Blanchett and Darlene Love are tonight's guests. Plus, Jay Thomas and the 9th Annual Christmas Tree Football Toss!
Martin Short, Donal Logue
Matt Lauer, Artie Lange, Augustana
Cedric the Entertainer, Wesley Autrey, Switchfoot
Donald Trump, Mary Lynn Rajskub
David Arquette, Jennifer Hudson
Penelope Cruz, Gary Mule Deer, Ben E. King
A woman from Chicago plays "Name That Smell" at Hello Deli; after vilifying Commonwealth Edison, Alan gets beaten up by one of their employees; Ben E. King performs "Stand By Me."
Peter O'Toole, Marc Maron
Tonight's guests are Peter O'Toole and Marc Maron, plus a Top Ten from baseball legends Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn!
Julianne Moore, Madonna, The Hold Steady
Videotape operator Tom Catusi apologizes for making a cheap shot at Mark McGwire; Madonna discusses her controversial adoption of a Malawian baby; Dave puts on a raincoat and promotes Gordon's Fish Sticks; The Hold Steady performs "Stuck Between Ready."
Kristin Chenoweth, John Witherspoon, Josh Ritter
A Late Show Fun Fact: the actual Godzilla was only seven feet tall and was killed by Japanese soldiers within minutes; John Witherspoon describes a recent incident involving smoking a marijuana cigarette; Josh Ritter performed "Girl in the War."
Amy Sedaris, Jason Randal, America with Ryan Adams & Ben Kweller
Dave acknowledges the 7th anniversary of his quintuple-bypass with a clip from "Sanford & Son"; magician Jason Randal wows Dave with a few more of his trademark card tricks; '70s soft-rockers America (featuring Ryan Adams and Ben Kweller) performed 'Ride On.'
Paul Newman, Sebastian Bourdais, Diana Ross
Paul Newman, Sebastian Bourdais, and Diana Ross are the scheduled guests.
Tina Fey, Terri and Bindi Irwin
Tina Fey discusses the Golden Globes and explains why she hates Los Angeles; escape artist "Donnie Glenn" balks at being sealed in a milk can filled with water; Terri & Bindi Irwin (the widow and daughter of Steve Irwin) promote Australia Week 2007.
Harry Shearer, Vera Farmiga, Mat Kearney
Dave promotes the new, improved Late Show web site; "El Nino" (Gerard) drops by to take a bow; Vera Farmiga promotes "Breaking and Entering"; Mat Kearney performs "Nothing Left to Lose."
Dan Rather, Tricia Helfer, Andy Kindler
Dave comments on this winter's damaged citrus crop by opening a carton of "Tropicana Just Rind"; Tricia Helfer of "Battlestar Galactica" fame promotes her upcoming Playboy pictorial; seven pounds of marzipan are thrown into the "Will It Float" tank (it sinks).
Kevin Spacey, Alicia Keys, Nellie McKay & The Brooklyn Philharmonic
Ricky Gervais, Forest Whitaker, The Shins
Ricky Gervais, Forest Whittaker, and The Shins are the scheduled guests.
Frank Caliendo, Mandy Moore, Rosanne Cash
Bill Murray, LeBron James
David Spade, Alexandra Pelosi, Dustin Kensrue
Dr. Phil McGraw, Fall Out Boy
Randy Jackson, Harry Connick Jr., Regis
Chris Elliott, Kelly Ripa, John Mellencamp
Jack Hanna, Katherine Heigl, Patty Griffin
Rachael Ray, Frank Caliendo, The Fab Faux
Drew Barrymore, Rickie Lee Jones, Kevin Johnson with Clyde & Matilda
Peyton Manning, Dan Horn with Orson, The Cat Empire
Martha Stewart, Otto Petersen with George, Norah Jones
Sienna Miller, NAS, Jim Barber with Seville
Tracy Morgan, Gabrielle Union, Brad Cummings and Rex
The Cat Empire
Jim Carrey, Daytona 500 winner Kevin Harvick
Barbara Walters, David Neeleman, K-os
John Travolta, Eric Nerhus, a performance from the Broadway musical "Spring Awakening"
Billy Bob Thornton, Rashida Jones, Barenaked Ladies
Samuel L. Jackson, Jim Gaffigan
Jake Gyllenhaal, Brand New
Evangeline Lilly, Jeff MacGregor, bubble blowing guy Tom Noddy
Sen. John McCain, Robin Thicke
Bob Woodruff, John Mayer
Charles Grodin, Dan Naturman
Dave reminisces about his teen years and shares an antedote about a ruined fur coat; Charles Grodin promotes his one-minute commentaries on CBS Radio and shows off some of his horse photography.
Chris Rock, Sandra Oh, Amy Winehouse
Dave admits that he's never participated nor believes in Daylight Savings Time; Chris Rock promotes "I Think I Love My Wife"; Amy Winehouse performed "You Know I'm No Good."
Jeff Goldblum, Barbara McQueen
Jeff Goldblum, Barbara McQueen
Richard Gere, Explorers Club chef Gene Rurka, Aqualung
Bernie Mac, Paula Abdul, Joss Stone
Bernie Mac, Paula Abdul, Joss Stone
Adam Sandler, Don Cheadle, Danica Patrick, Todd Barry, Lucinda Williams
Fill-in host Adam Sandler (with assistance from his dog, Matzoball II) welcomes Don Cheadle, Danica Patrick, and Todd Barry as his guests. Lucinda Williams performs "Are You Alright?"
Jack Black, Lara Logan, beer launching refrigerator creator John Cornwell
Tonight's "Great Moments in Presidental Speeches" clip is doctored to include Sue Hum using a lint brush on JFK's right arm; Duke University post-grad John Cornwell demonstrates his new invention, the beer-launching refrigerator; Jack Black shares an antedote about meeting Jack Nicholson; CBS chief foriegn correspondent Lara Logan discusses reporting from war zones in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Will Ferrell, Kings of Leon, Rachel Smith
Will Ferrell, Kings of Leon, Rachel Smith
Patricia Arquette, Paul Mooney, Macy Gray
Al Franken, Isla Fisher
Rosario Dawson, Bloc Party, Piedmont bird callers
Donald Trump, Jon Heder
Sen. Barack Obama, Halle Berry, Zach Johnson
David Duchovny, Ryan Howard, Andrew Bird
Alec Baldwin, Debbie Parkhurst and her dog Toby, LCD Soundsystem
Bruce Willis, Jason Randal
Bill Cosby, Angela Kinsey
Kelly Ripa, Simon Pegg
Kelly Ripa, Simon Pegg, and Jim Short are the scheduled guests.
Craig Ferguson, Dave Della Terza, Avril Lavigne
Edie Falco, Paul Scheer, Son Volt
Garry Shandling, Paul Teutul Sr. and Jr., Tokyo Police Club
Jessica Biel, Ira Glass, Regina Spektor
Brian Williams, Steven Wright, a Top Ten list presented by Sanjaya Malakar
Top Ten list presented by Sanjaya Malakar
David Hyde Pierce, Ivanka Trump, Corinne Bailey Rae
Nicolas Cage, Barry Sonnenfeld, The Fratellis
Steve Martin, Dave Cota and A.J. the parakeet, Derek Jeter
Steve Martin dominates the show, as he interrupts Dave twice, gets a lapdance from a male stripper, plugs his new book, and performs "The Crow" with banjoists Tony Trischka and Bela Fleck. Also, David Cota and his parakeet AJ perform a few tricks for Dave.
Frank Caliendo as President George W. Bush, Andy Dick, Jarvis Cocker
Kirsten Dunst, Rob Magnotti, Dinosaur Jr.
Day 1 of "Impressionist Week 2" with Rob Magnotti. Kirsten Dunst and Dinosaur Jr. are the scheduled guests.
Tobey Maguire, John Byner, Modest Mouse
Drew Barrymore, Mike MacRae, Ben Kweller
Marcia Cross, Joe Piscopo, Tori Amos
Ray Romano, Reggie Reg, Dennis Haysbert
Day 5 of "Impressionist Week 2" with Reggie Reg. Ray Romano and Dennis Haysbert are the scheduled guests.
Regis Philbin, Darlene Love
Jane Fonda, Tom Ruprecht, Kelly Clarkson
Lindsay Lohan, Tom Dreesen, The Kooks
Dr. Phil McGraw, Jack Hanna
Dr. Phil McGraw and Jack Hanna are the scheduled guests.
Charles Grodin, Jake Johannsen
Mike Myers, America Ferrera
Don Rickles, Michael Imperioli, Wilco, a Top Ten List presented by Masi Oka
Don Rickles, Michael Imperioli, and Wilco are the scheduled guests. Plus, a special Top Ten from Masi Oka!
Ricky Gervais, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Mavis Staples, a Top Ten List presented by Bob Barker
Ricky Gervais, Mary Lynn Rajskub, and Mavis Staples are the scheduled guests. Plus, a Top Ten by Bob Barker!
Kid Scientists, Luke Wilson, Rufus Wainwright, a Top Ten List presented by Homer Simpson
Top Ten List presented by Homer Simpson
Teri Hatcher, Jonah Hill, Elvis Costello
Rudolph Giuliani, Mike West, Jesus & Mary Chain
Charles Barkley, Seth Rogen, Michael Martin Murphey
Stupid Pet Tricks, Rosie Perez, Dr. Dog
Al Gore, Jim Short
Kevin Spacey, Alexis Bledel
Matt Damon, Indianapolis 500 winner Dario Franchitti, Bright Eyes
Chevy Chase, Amanda Beard, Satellite Party
Nicole Richie, Artie Lange, Chrisette Michele
Amy Sedaris, Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell, Jordan Zevon
Ellen Barkin, Brian Regan
Denis Leary, Flight of the Conchords, Neal Seaver
Kyra Sedgwick, Sir Richard Branson, Maroon 5
Bear Grylls, Jeremy Piven, Elvis Perkins
John Cusack, Pink Martini, Turkey Gobbling Champions
Michael Moore, Bill Burr
Bruce Willis, Tony Parker, diving dogs
Amanda Peet, John Krasinski, Bryan Ferry
Claire Danes, Dan Patrick & Keith Olbermann, Ryan Adams & The Cardinals
Robin Williams, Julie Chen
Dennis Kucinich, Shia LaBeouf, Morrissey
Don Cheadle, Smashing Pumpkins, Venus Williams
Sienna Miller, Michael Cera, Interpol
Diddy, Emma Watson, Spoon
Paul Teutul Sr. and Jr., Vera Farmiga, Joe Matarese
Queen Latifah, Alan Zweibel, Smashing Pumpkins
Michelle Pfeiffer, Jonah Hill, Michel Lauziere
Adam Sandler, Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg, Mute Math
John Travolta, Paula Abdul, Teddy Thompson
Kevin James, Jose Andres, White Rabbits
Julia Stiles, Pete Jordan, Nick Griffin
Drew Carey, Nikki Blonsky, Grinderman
Paul Rudd, Tony Dungy, The National
Catherine Zeta-Jones, Bob Sarlatte, Porter Wagoner
Sharon Osbourne, Brian Kiley, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Anne Hathaway, Jim Gaffigan, Buffalo Tom
Andy Samberg, Catherine Bell, The Bravery
Sen. Joe Biden, Seth Rogen, Gogol Bordello
Matt Damon, Jeff Altman, Angelique Kidjo
Matt Damon, Jeff Altman, and Angelique Kidjo are the scheduled guests.