Nurses Season 2, Episode 14: If I Were a Rich Man

Slime and Punishment

Shady businessman Jack Trenton is court-ordered to do community service at the hospital. Enraged Annie goes to complain, but ends up getting an ultimatum from her boss – she has one week to get her coworkers' respect or her butt gets the boot. Annie later confronts Jack about his inability to follow orders, and initially has him arrested, until it occurs to her that it may put her job in further jeopardy. Meanwhile, Gina lets Hank know that she's unhappy about his recent interest in his ex-wife.

In My New Country

Laverne checks into 3 West to have her webbed toes fixed, but when Sandy gets wind of the situation, toes aren't the only things being separated. Gina, hopped up on recently becoming a US citizen, vows to track down the slumlord that owns Paco's building… which turns out to be Jack Trenton. And Luke and Hank butt heads over Luke's problem with authority.

Inside Information

Sandy, who has become increasingly hostile, is pressured by Julie and Annie to see a psychiatrist. Jack and Hank try to gain inside stock information from a comatose patient.

The Bad Boy in the Plastic Bubble

The staff has to come in for half a day to take a seminar on proper waste disposal because Jack's been throwing hazardous waste in the regular trash bins. Jack, as a ""volunteer,"" worms his way out of showing up, and rubs everyone's noses in it. So Luke tells Jack that he may have been contaminated by a toxic substance, and cons him into spending time in a plastic bubble... wearing only a diaper. Meanwhile, Annie's hawking chocolate for her son, and Hank agrees to buy two cases – but he can't even afford one bar.

Julie Gets Validated

Julie arrives late for work because she spent the night with the parking lot attendant. Jack suddenly becomes smitten with Julie when rumor spreads (and gets twisted) that Julie had sex in the parking garage. For fun, Hank sneaks up on Luke and winds up getting punched. Hank becomes the hospital joke and loses his self-confidence – and his ability to gain an erection.

Annie's Choice

Annie gets to go on a second honeymoon, so she leaves Julie in charge -- which really ticks off Sandy and Gina. Jack tries to con a dying patient out of his beloved railroad-watch.

Playing Doctor

Sandy is a hero -- and a laughing stock -- for performing mouth-to-mouth on the Weston's dog, Dryfus, when he nearly drowned at a Halloween party. Meanwhile Gina gets suspended for giving a neighbor's child her prescription medicine.

Dirty Laundry

Geraldo shows up as a patient at the hospital, and everyone is giddy with excitement -- except Jack, who's sure the journalist has shown up to do an expose' on him. So Jack tries to get Paco to take incriminating photos of Geraldo for blackmail purposes. Turns out Geraldo really is there for a story -- about the mysterious packages of laundry that keep being placed in the dumpster.

Illicit Transfers

Jack ""donates"" $20,000 for the new maternity wing in hopes of getting Annie transferred. But he only ends up getting himself transferred -- to the morgue.

Our Fred

Annie hooks up her husband, Fred, with Hank for a ballgame in hopes of getting him interested in getting out of the house. But her plan works all too well when Fred and Hank begin spending more time together than she hoped for. Meanwhile, Jack discovers a patient (Peter Scolari) is a former associate of his -- who ratted him out to the feds.

One Pequeno, Two Pequeno

Gina's sister, Yolanda, comes to the USA for a visit, and Hank agrees to take her on rounds with him, thinking she's homely. When she arrives and everyone sees what a knockout she is, the guys drool over her and the ladies are jealous. To Hank's surprise, Yolanda is more than a little interested in him, and Gina walks in on the two after Yolanda has removed her dress in an attempt to seduce him.

Solitary Man

Sandy throws Luke a surprise birthday party, to his annoyance. So he decides to give her a glimpse of his world by taking her to a remote cave where he claims he likes to hang out. Meanwhile, Jack agrees to look for Annie's lost wedding ring in return for her taking some hours off of his community service time. What Annie doesn't realize is that Jack's got her ring in his pocket.

Caught Short

In the end it turns out Gina won the baby pool and gets to keep the necklace.

Gropes of Wrath

The nurses turn in a slimy supply-man for sexual harassment. Meanwhile, Paco himself gets turned in for harassment when he gets tongue-tied in front of gorgeous a candy-striper and asks her to ""feel me.""

Super Bowl

Hank throws a Superbowl party, which all his coworkers attend... including Jack, who gave up his box seats to attend. But a bounced check leaves Hank without TV and Paco injured when he tries to illegally hook up cable. So the friends settle on an evening of karaoke.

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Sandy reluctantly agrees to go on a date with Jack. They spend the evening on a riverboat casino where Sandy sees how big of a shark Jack really is.

Love and Death

Family Outing

Hanks father arrives and reveals that he's gay. Hank freaks out at first, but feels bad about it, so he attends his father's retirement party -- where he outs his Dad to all his associates. Meanwhile there's someone stealing food from the break room fridge and Julie sets out to find the culprit -- which turns out to be Jack.

When Hank Met Gina

Paco wins the lottery and decides to bank the money and keep his job -- until Jack talks him into quitting. But turns out there were many more winners than Paco anticipated, leaving him with virtually nothing. Jack is uninterested in helping Paco get his job back -- until he realizes that Paco won't be replaced and he'll be stuck doing all the work. Meanwhile Hank and Gina share a moment during one of their study-dates... which leads to dinner... which leads to sex.

Sting of Hearts

It slips that Gina had sex with Hank, and now Hank's being clingy and obsessive. Particularly when Gina hits it off with an attractive immigrant she bumps into in the elevator. Meanwhile, Jack delves back into insider trading -- with Gina's new boyfriend.

What are Friends For?

Smokin' in the Boys Room

Jack and Paco spend their time slacking off in an empty room in an unfinished wing, but thier hiding place is discovered when they have to save a construction worker who's swinging out-of-control outside the window. Meanwhile Luke has to tend to the nun from Hell and Hank tries to get Gina back into bed.

Jumpin' Jack Flash

Being careless, Jack gets electrocuted -- and spends his unconscious time talking to God. Meanwhile Gina tells Hank that she's pregnant.