L.A. Law Season 4, Episode 9: Noah's Bark

The Unsterile Cuckoo

Sifuentes reluctantly represents a wholesale furrier suing an animal rights group whose disruptions at his fashion shows caused him a million dollar loss; Hackett becomes concerned about the possibility of becoming a grandfather when he learns that his daughter and Stulwicz are having sex, and it takes McKenzie's powers of persuasion and a promise to talk to Stulwicz about contraception to convince Hackett not to have his daughter sterilized; Markowitz is torn between his dreams of glory as the star third baseman at the McKenzie Brackman annual softball game and his promise to attend Lamaze class with Kelsey; Kuzak buys a motorcycle.

Captain Hurt

Kuzak's defense of a black college professor accused of murdering his young white research assistant blows up when the prosecutor sandbags his case by delaying DNA discovery, thus exposing his client's lies and destroying Kuzak's defense strategy; Van Owen counters an insanity defense based on uncontrollable sexual obsession when she prosecutes a claims adjuster for insurance fraud he asserts was the result of his inability to counter the demands of his dominatrix; Becker's desire to win at all costs and gain a large fee in the process garners his client a large settlement, but wrecks havoc on his relationship with his client; fulfilling his promise to Hackett, McKenzie assigns Sifuentes the responsibility of teaching Stulwicz about contraception.

When Irish Eyes Are Smiling

Kuzak weighs the testimony of sympathetic witnesses to clear his client; Becker tries to clear the air with an unhappy divorce client; a sympathetic Rollins takes the case of an elderly woman being steamrolled by an insurance company.

The Mouse That Soared

Sifuentes duels again with Hamilton Schuyler in a case challenging ""dwarf tossing""; a witness comes forward with testimony Kuzak hopes will clear his client; Kelsey agrees to help a friend sue pro-lifers harassing women at health clinics.

One Rat, One Ranger

Van Owen is at a loss for words when confronted by a terrified mother after failing to win a conviction against the woman's ex-husband for molesting their young daughter; Becker, Kelsey, and the associates are all wary when the partners decide that the way to stem their declining revenues is to bring in Rosalind Shays, a ""rainmaker"", as a new partner; Markowitz represents a dating service sued by a hard-to-satisfy customer, who's more than happy to make the acquaintance of Dave Meyer after the trial is over; Brackman's latest scheme to save money on his health food kick has the staff smelling a rat.

Lie Down and Deliver

Kelsey defends a malpractice suit filed by a patient whose baby died during delivery; a divorcée sues Becker over his video; Brackman puts the crunch on a cereal company over a botched contest; Sifuentes is miffed about the firm's new partner Rosalind Shays.

48 min

Placenta Claus Is Coming to Town

Kuzak makes a last-ditch try to have his client's sentence lightened; Markowitz panics when Kelsey goes into labor early; Benny has a holiday surprise for Alice; the holidays could be lonely for Becker.

The Good Human Bar

Rollins's friend asks for his help in petitioning the court to allow her to end her life and be cryogenically preserved until a cure for her incurable brain tumor is found; Kuzak meets an attractive dancer; Becker decides to leave the firm and form a partnership with Ganz; Allison is sexually assaulted by a member of her film crew; Roxanne gets a little help from her friends when she experiences a little stage fright during her singing lesson recital.

The Pay's Lousy, But the Tips Are Great

Sifuentes's representation of a woman in a sexual harassment case against the federal judge for whom she clerked stirs up some emotional issues about Allison's rape which, despite their best efforts, the couple can't seem to resolve; Markowitz represents an elderly mohel being sued for malpractice; Becker is greeted coldly upon his return to the firm, and must face a hurt and angry Stulwicz; Rosalind subtly pits McKenzie and Brackman against each other as she secretly undermines them to poach their major clients.

True Brit

Kuzak suspects a barrister is exaggerating his ignorance of American courtroom procedure to influence the jury; Becker yearns for more fanfare from his co-workers; a friend's confession to Diana tests the limits of lawyer-client privilege; Rosalind invades Kelsey's space.

On Your Honor

Sifuentes and McKenzie butt heads over a suit involving an Iranian airplane; Roxanne leads a secretaries' revolt when Brackman issues a lunch-hour edict; and Van Owen is offered a seat on the bench.

Whatever Happened to Hannah?

A comic charges his comedy-writer ex-wife with heckling him on-stage; a divorce sues her ex for years of abuse; and Kelsey wages war on Rosalind.

48 min

Ex-Wives and Videotapes

Kuzak pleads Williams's case before the State Court of Appeals; Rosalind is outraged when the partners decline to take on a potentially lucrative client because the company promotes apartheid; Becker represents a man so embittered by his wife's divorcing him that he intends to ruin her career as a prominent newswoman by distributing a private, x-rated video he made of their intimate moments.

Blood, Sweat and Fears

Kuzak fights to have the murder charges against Earl Williams dismissed; Sifuentes defends a doctor who refused to perform emergency surgery on an AIDS victim; the firm is rocked by McKenzie's resignation as senior partner, as Rosalind, Stuart and Douglas are eager to assume the role.

48 min

Bounds for Glory

To the dismay of Becker and Brackman, Rosalind becomes Abby's strong supporter when a major client leaves the firm after he is unsuccessful in pressuring Abby not to pursue a dismissal of charges against his drug-addicted son, but to convince his son instead to accept a plea bargain that will send him to jail; Rollins's client is sued by the owner of an oversized frog when she disqualifies the amphibian from the jumping contest she's promoting; Kelsey represents the parents of a slain teenager when they sue the parents of the young skinhead who murdered their son; Benny inadvertently sets off a bidding war hampered by attorneys and paralegals when he decides to sell his baseball card collection; as her overbearing manner begins to set the other attorneys on edge, Rosalind mounts a subtle campaign for absolute control of the firm by undermining McKenzie's influence with clients.

Justice Swerved

A couple is accused of murdering their baby; a sobriety test halts Markowitz and Kelsey's lunch-time tryst; thoughts of Sheila wreak havoc with Brackman's sex life.

48 min

Watts a Matter?

A family whose home was destroyed in a drug raid charge the police with excessive force; Van Owen ponders her sentencing of an 8-year-old cop killer; Sifuentes and Rosalind clash over a test case involving a liquor company's negligence; Marilyn unleashes Brackman's passion

Bang... Zoom... Zap

Roxanne's dealings with her dad are reminiscent of The Honeymooners; Markowitz's first trial involves a man tortured in Argentina; Rosalind sells out a client.

Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sued

Sifuentes represents a priest being sued by a husband who attributes his wife's mental breakdown to the priest's refusal to grant her absolution; Roxanne becomes her father's legal guardian, and brings him to her home to live; McKenzie faces off against Rosalind in a bid for reinstatement as senior partner.

Outward Bound

A gay cop sues when the secret of his sexuality is revealed in the press by a journalist; McKenzie seeks a star litigator to fill an opening at the firm; Benny fumes after seeing Alice kiss someone else; and Corrinne pops the question to an unsure Becker.

The Last Gasp

Sifuentes's boyhood friend battles time while on death row; the prenuptial countdown begins for Becker and Corrinne; and the firm's new attorney defends a mercy killer.