Have Gun, Will Travel Season 5, Episode 34: Cream of the Jest

1

The Vigil

Paladin agrees to accompany a nurse to the gold fields; she aspires to replace its deceased physician. Along the way, they encounter two men who have just buried their companion.

2

The Education of Sarah Jane

The Darrow and Tyler families have been feuding so long they don't remember who started it. It's up to Paladin to help them decide if the feud should continue.

3

The Revenger

Paladin takes a $500 stagecoach ride with an embezzler, a convicted cutthroat, and a murderer to collect the other half of that bill.

4

Odds for Big Red

Paladin trails a killer and bank robber to a saloon but while trying to capture him, the saloon's owner, Big Red, is shot.

5

A Proof of Love

Paladin urges a momma's boy farmer to win back his wayward mail-order bride, by besting party-animal neighbor Rud Saxon in a dance contest.

6

The Gospel Singer

Bugbear wants to change its image. When Paladin is hired, his idea of disarmament is working fine. Until a missionary rides to town with her own methods for doing the same thing.

7

The Race

Paladin is offered $1000 to win a horse race called a mule kalanta. When he arrives he finds out what the bet is, and he decides to make a change.

8

The Hanging of Aaron Gibbs

Singer Odetta plays Sarah Gibbs, who is barred by a marshal from visiting her condemned husband.

9

The Piano

European pianist Franz Lister comes to the United States to give a concert for Mona Lansing, a former saloon hostess. When Lister's piano is stolen, Mona hires Paladin to get it back.

10

Ben Jalisco

Escaped killer, Ben Jalisco, is a ruthless hunter who has murdered more than 30 men. Now he is after his wife, Lucy, who informed on him and Paladin, who brought him in.

11

The Brothers

Will prospector Possum Corbin rescue Paladin from dying in a desert, if Paladin reads the encyclopedia to him?

12

A Drop of Blood

Paladin is invited to best man at Rivka Shotness' wedding. When he arrives he finds that Billy Buckstone, the man the bride's family helped to convict, has been freed from prison and is on his way back.

13

A Knight to Remember

Paladin is hired to find Don Esteban, who has disappeared. When he finds him he is dressed as a knight in armor and thinks he is Don Quixote.

14

Blind Circle

Two years ago, the Cattleman's Association put a bounty of $500 on a rustler who was never caught. Now they don't want him pursued but a bounty hunter doesn't know or maybe he doesn't care.

15

The Kid

Paladin is sent a $100 bill and told there are 9 more like it if he travels to a town called Last Gasp.

16

Squatter's Rights

Costigan is a land owner and cattleman. He was shot by Clemenceau, a squatter on his land. Paladin has offered to help him get rid of the squatter but doesn't approve of his methods.

17

Lazarus

After local boozing champ Big Fontana cheats Paladin in a drink-off, sickly Boise Peabody convinced he'll die by morning, challenges the sneaky fast draw to a shootout.

18

Justice in Hell

Paladin goes after a wagon-master who led the massacre of his own wagon train. Rusty Doggett hides out in a town entirely populated by wanted outlaws.

19

Mark of Cain

Dr. Avatar hires Paladin to guide him to Jack Trueblood, a notorious western badman who has killed many men. Avatar wants to measure Trueblood's head to confirm his research on cranial measurements.

20

The Exiles

General Ortega hires Paladin to recover $16 million in French bonds. Where they are and who has them is already known.

21

The Hunt

Paladin is lured to Oregon under the pretense of a widow in distress. The real reason is to engage him in a deadly hunt with a bored prince.

22

Dream Girl

Paladin rides upon Buddy Webster's mining camp, who needs a big favor. He has been prospecting for gold dust the last five years.

23

One, Two, Three

Samuel Keel hires Paladin to find Seth Carter. Keel gives him the names of three people who can help him find Seth. As Paladin finds them, each is murdered. Paladin is determined to find out why.

24

The Waiting Room

After a 4 state murder spree, the Wilder Brothers head back to Texas for trial, under Paladin's gun.

25

The Trap

A lawman for 23 years, Jim Buell has always done what he believed was right. Taking in Davy Walsh for shooting at his jail while drunk seemed just that.

26

Don't Shoot the Piano Player

With no help from local law enforcement, a writer hires Paladin to find her fiancé; in the roughest gutter on the Barbary coast.

27

Alice

A daughter hires Paladin to help her look for an old friend of his - her mother.

28

The Man Who Struck Moonshine

Moses Kadish is an alcoholic. He moves to middle of nowhere to try to stop drinking and drills a well. The well produces whiskey instead of water.

29

Silent Death, Secret Death

Paladin is asked to look for a missing brother, no matter the cost. When he finds out he's been missing for seven years, he accepts this task.

30

Hobson's Choice

Alfred Nobel, staying at the Carlton, enlists the aid of resident Paladin to recover a mixed up shipment of mineral oil with his more potent nitroglycerin.

31

The Coming of the Tiger

An elder from the Japanese community informs Paladin that a Nationalistic Japanese Priest, accompanied by a Samurai Warrior, is attempting to enter the country illegally.

32

Darwin's Man

A rancher (Kent Smith) pits his sons (Richard Rust, Buzz Martin) against one another in a fight to determine which of them will be his heir.

33

Invasion

The State Department hires Paladin to stop an Irishman (Robert Gist) from invading Canada.

34

Cream of the Jest

Paladin tries to stay one step ahead of a prankster who may be on the point of playing one prank too many.

35

Bandit

A girl bandit robs and kills a stagecoach driver for $50,000. When Paladin catches up to her he finds out she is no lady but with his help is willing to learn.

36

Pandora's Box

Protecting the current administration from low gossip and sensationalism, Paladin is asked to discreetly bring the Secretary's son to justice for murder.

37

Jonah and the Trout

$20,000 in gold bullion is stolen and dropped into a lake. Paladin decides to try to retrieve it but Jonah, a fisherman, has the spot staked out. He's after a huge trout and doesn't want anyone getting in his way. There's also the three thieves watching and waiting to ambush Paladin once he gets the gold.

38

The Knight

Paladin is hired to find a killer. His usual fee is paid for instead with a ring. A ring that may tie his employer to his quarry with him in the middle.