Kraft Music Hall Season 13, Episode 3: The Friars Roast Don Rickles

1

Alan King Looks At Women's Rights & Wrongs

Season Premiere: ""Women's Liberation"" theme Sketches: --Eva Gabor plays a female baseball player giving an interview. --A newly liberated woman (Eva Gabor) and her husband (Paul Lynde) share their newfound happiness with friends (Alan King & Anne Meara). --An elderly couple (Alan King and Totie Fields) argue over who is is charge of the family. The couple sings ""Do You Love Me?"" --A runaway wife returns home. The husband is Alan King and the wife is...Paul Lynde!

60 min

2

Mr. Anthony Quinn and Miss Peggy Lee

Music: --Anthony Quinn and Peggy Lee - ""What Is a Woman?"" & ""Love Story."" --Peggy Lee - ""He's Got the Whole World in His Hands,"" ""Lost in the Stars,"" ""Don't Explain"" & ""Me and My Shadow."" The duo also appeared in a few vignettes: (1) a scene from ""Requiem for a Heavyweight"" (2) a ""carnival barker"" (3) a scene from a Thomas Wolfe novel --Anthony Quinn and Peggy Lee also appeared as three different couples (an English couple, a Japanese couple and an Italian couple) in three short scenes. Each scene ended with the words ""you don't love me anymore.""

60 min

3

The Friars Roast Don Rickles

Friars roast Don Rickles --Johnny Carson (Roastmaster) --Milton Berle --George C. Scott --Alan King --Henny Youngman --Dick Cavett --Chet Huntley

60 min

4

Alan King - Things Ain't What They Used to Be

""Things Ain't What They Used to Be"" - a comedic look at modern life with Alan King, Lena Horne, Charles Nelson Reilly, Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara. Comedy: --Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara play (1) a couple having an argument during their visit to the top of a skyscraper construction site; (2) parents aggravated by their college drop-out son (played by Charles Nelson Reilly). --A patient (Alan King) suffering from back troubles visits an indifferent doctor (Charles Nelson Reilly) NBC repeated this show on April 28, 1971.

60 min

5

4th Annual Country Music Association Awards

4th Annual Country Music Association Awards (broadcast from the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville) --hosted by Tennessee Ernie Ford Scheduled performers: --Tennessee Ernie Ford - ""Sixteen Tons"" --Merle Haggard - ""Okie From Muskogee"" --Charley Pride - ""I'm So Afraid of Losing You"" --Marty Robbins - ""My Woman, My Woman, My Wife"" Nominees scheduled to appear: --Lynn Anderson --Glen Campbell --Johnny Cash --Roy Clark --Merle Haggard --Loretta Lynn --Dolly Parton --Charley Pride --Marty Robbins --Connie Smith --Conway Twitty --Tammy Wynette

60 min

6

Bob & Carol & Martin & Barbara

--Robert Goulet & Carol Lawrence --Martin Landau & Barbara Bain

60 min

7

TV's Hit Parade of Comedy

--Milton Berle --Sid Caesar --Phil Silvers

60 min

8

The Kopy Kats

""The Kopycats"" with Edie Adams, David Frye, Frank Gorshin, Will Jordan, George Kirby and Rich Little doing celebrity impressions. Impersonations (comedy sketches): --David Brinkley interviews Hubert Humphrey, Nelson Rockefeller and George Wallace. --Pearl Bailey and Al Jolson sing a duet. --Howard Cosell interviews Truman Capote. --A western barroom shootout between Walter Brennan, Andy Devine, Kirk Douglas and Henry Fonda. NBC repeated this show on May 12, 1971.

60 min

9

Don Adams Investigates The Detectives

""Don Adams Investigates The Detectives"" Sketches: --""Sam Spade and the Maltese Parakeet"" with Don Adams (imitating Bogart), Raymond Burr, Will Jordan and Elisha Cook. --Don Adams also plays Charlie Chan --""Tony Romeo"" with David Janssen --""Four on the Isle"" - a spoof of Agatha Christie's ""Ten Little Indians"" Also blackouts spoofing ""The Untouchables,"" ""Dragnet"" and ""77 Sunset Strip""

60 min

10

Kraft Presents Robert Young

--Robert Young & Jane Wyatt --Lucie & Desi Arnaz Jr. --The Young Americans

60 min

11

Love & Marriage, Part 1

""Love & Marriage"" part 1: --Alan King --Michele Lee --James Coco --Stiller & Meara --Nancy Walker

60 min

12

Love & Marriage, Part 2

""Love & Marriage, Part 2"" Comedy: --Alan King as Skakespeare and Michele Lee as his wife, who gives him his inspiration. --Alan King and Nancy Walker are parents who see their plain daughter in entirely different lights. --Alan King and James Coco as divorce lawyers who become too emotional about their clients. --A card player asks his buddies, ""Why can't A woman be more like a man?"" Music: --Michele Lee - sings ""I Don't Care"" and ""It Never Entered My Mind""

60 min

13

The Eve Before Christmas Eve

""The Eve Before Christmas Eve"" (a Christmas musicale) --Eddy Arnold --Brenda Lee --Charley Pride --The Klowns

60 min

14

On Stage: Miss America

""On Stage: Miss America"" - Variety hour with 5 Miss America winners & 5 talent winners. --Hosted by Bert Parks Five current and past Miss America winners: --Phyllis George (reigning Miss America) --Judith Anne Ford (1969) - doing a trampoline act. --Debra Barnes (1968) - playing Chopin on piano --Vonda Kay Van Dyke (1965) - sings with Bert Parks --Mary Ann Mobley (1959) - sings ""Celebration"" Five women who won the talent catagory: --Anita Bryant (1958) - ""The Impossible Dream"" --Ann Fowler (1960) - ""I Got Love"" --Susan Henryson (1961) - ""Lorelei"" --Betty Buckley (1966) - ""Cycles."" --Adria Easton (1969) - baton twirling

60 min

15

Alan King Plays The Games People Play

""Alan King Plays the Games People Play"" Sketches --James Coco and Anne Meara are a married couple trying not to have a fight. --Alan King plays the star of his son's cinema verite project. --Alan King plays a long-suffering hospital patient --""The Pop Game"" - the cast does a roll call of ""in"" people and trends. Music: --Mary Ann Mobley - ""Games People Play"" --All (entire cast) - Your Health, My Friends""

60 min

16

The Kopy Kats Kopy TV

""The Kopy Kats Kopy TV"" --The cast does impressions of actors and TV stars. This includes parodies of (1) classic movies shown on the late show (2) the ""Honeymooners"" series, and (3) Johnny Carson and his ""Tonight Show"" guests. --In a serious moment, George Kirby pays tribute to Joe Louis, the onetime boxing heavyweight champion of the world.

60 min

17

The Friars Roast Jerry Lewis

Friars roast Jerry Lewis --Johnny Carson (as the Roastmaster) --Milton Berle --Jack Carter --Charlie Callas --Alan King --Rex Reed (the movie critic) --Don Rickles

60 min

18

Locker Room Follies

""Locker Room Follies"" --Don Rickles --Joe Frazier (heavyweight champion) --Bill Russell (basketball player) --Vic Hadfield (hockey player) --Boog Powell (baseball player) --Alex Karras (football player) --Tony Conigliaro (baseball player) --The Harlem Magicians (basketball) Sketches: --Rickles plays a doctor overwhelmed by a string of injured athletes. --A 98-year-old football coach gives his team a pep talk. --""The Loser"" - Rickles as a locker-room attendant recalling his days as a football player. --The cast appears in a ""Gunsmoke"" parody.

60 min

19

Kraft Presents Eddy Arnold

""Eddie Arnold & the Young Americans"" --Loretta Lynn --Marty Robbins

60 min

20

Alan King's Wonderful World of Aggravation...1971

""Alan King's Wonderful World of Aggravation...1971"" Comedy: --Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara are former sweethearts reminiscing at a high school reunion. --Marriage counselor sketch with Anne Meara and Alan King as an incompatable couple. --Alan King plays a man named Oscar Plotman, who's dealing with his free-loading brother-in-law (played by Coco) Music: --Lena Horne - ""To a Small Degree"" --Lena Horne and Alan King - ""Life Is Just a Bowl of Cherries""

60 min

21

Kraft Presents The Festival of Music

""A Festival of Music"" --Chet Akins --Boots Randolph --Lynn Anderson --Floyd Cramer

60 min

22

Surburbia, U.S.A.

""Surburbia, U.S.A."" --Steve Lawrence & Eydie Gorme --Barbara Feldon --Sid Caesar --Anne Meara

60 min

23

Kraft Salutes The Oscars

""A Salute to the Oscars"" --Bette Davis --Michele Lee --Stiller & Meara --Frank Gorshin

60 min

24

Des O'Connor / Jack Benny / New Faces / Connie Stevens

From London: --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) --Jack Benny --New Faces --Connie Stevens (series regular) --Jack Douglas (series regular) --Mike Sammes singers (series regulars)

60 min

25

Des O'Connor / Jack Benny / New Faces / Connie Stevens

From London (encore show - same guests as last week): --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) - ""To Be the One You Love,"" ""Anytime"" & ""The Tip of My Fingers"" --Jack Benny - appears in 2 comedy skits --New Faces & Des O'Connor - ""Look What They've Done to My Song, Ma"" --Connie Stevens (series regular) - ""The Whiffenpoof Song"" & ""When I Look in Your Eyes"" --Connie Stevens & Des O'Connor - ""Jackson""

60 min

26

Des O'Connor / Dom DeLuise / Connie Stevens

From London: --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) --Dom DeLuise (1st of 4 appearances) --Connie Stevens (series regular)

60 min

27

Des O'Connor / Dom DeLuise / Connie Stevens

From London: --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) - sings ""Everybody's Talkin',"" ""Green Green Grass of Home,"" ""To Be the One You Love,"" ""Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head,"" ""Anytime"" & ""Girl Talk"" --Dom DeLuise (2nd of 4 appearances) --Connie Stevens (series regular) --Jack Douglas (comedian)

60 min

28

Des O'Connor / Dom DeLuise / Jack Douglas

From London: --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) - sings ""Me and My Shadow,"" ""The Song of My Life,"" ""My Cup Runneth Over, ""To Be the One You Love,"" ""Anytime"" & ""When Joanna Loved Me."" --Dom DeLuise (3rd of 4 appearances) --Connie Stevens (series regular) --Jack Douglas (comedian)

60 min

29

Des O'Connor / Dom DeLuise / John Le Mesurier

From London: --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) - sings ""Tennessee Birdwalk,"" ""Dream,"" ""The One I Love,"" ""You'll Never Know,"" ""I Think of You,"" ""Unchained Melody,"" ""Anytime"" & ""Rambling Rose."" --Dom DeLuise (4th of 4 appearances) - in a sketch, plays a policeman trying to arrest a woman (Connie Stevens) for littering. --John Le Mesurier (British TV star) --Connie Stevens (series regular) - ""Pocketful of Keys"" & ""For Once in My Life""

60 min

30

Des O'Connor / Phyllis Diller / Connie Stevens

Music: --Phyllis Diller, Connie Stevens and Des O'Connor - ""By the Light of the Silvery Moon"" --Connie Stevens - ""Jumpin' Jack Flash"" --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) - ""Firefly"" and ""Unchained Melody"" --Des O'Connor - medley: ""Dream,"" ""If I Had You,"" ""My Melancholy Baby"" and ""I'm Always Chasing Rainbows""

60 min

31

Des O'Connor / Charlie Callas / Connie Stevens

Music: --Connie Stevens - ""Another Hundred People"" --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) - ""That's Why I Love Her,"" ""To Be the One You Love"" and ""Knock Three Times"" --Des O'Connor - medley: ""In My World of Dreams,"" ""Once in a While"" and ""Unforgettable"" Comedy: --Charlie Callas (1st of 5 guest appearances) - mimics famous movie stars. --Joe Baker and Des O'Connor portray Laurel and Hardy.

60 min

32

Des O'Connor / Charlie Callas / Joe Baker / Connie Stevens

Music: --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) - ""When You're Smiling,"" ""Let There Be Love,"" ""Nola,"" ""The Good Life"" --Des O'Connor - medley: ""World of Dreams,"" ""Don't Blame Me,"" ""I'll See You in My Dreams"" and ""Dream"" --Connie Stevens - ""Hands off the Man"" Comedy: --A Prisoner-of-War sketch with Joe Baker, Charlie Callas and Des O'Connor. --Charlie Callas spoofs gangster movie death scenes.

60 min

33

Des O'Connor / Charlie Callas / Connie Stevens

Music: --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) - ""King of the Road,"" 'Young and Foolish,"" ""Unchain My Heart"" --Des O'Connor - medley: ""In My World of Dreams,"" ""Cuddle Up a Little Closer"" and ""I'm Confessin'"" Comedy: --Laurel and Hardy (Des O'Connor and Joe Baker) are confronted by a ticket-writing cop (Charlie Callas). --A couple (Connie Stevens and Des O'Connor) try to fire their overbearing maid.

60 min

34

Des O'Connor / Charlie Callas / Connie Stevens

Music: --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) - ""Let There Be Love"" and medley (""World of Dreams,"" ""But Beautiful"" and ""It's Easy to Remember"") --Connie Stevens - ""The Banner Man"" Comedy: --Charlie Callas imitates different types of honeymooners. --Charlie Callas plays the world's oldest bullfighter interviewed by talk-show host Des O'Connor.

60 min

35

Des O'Connor / Charlie Callas / Joe Baker / Connie Stevens

Music: --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) - ""Hey, Baby,"" ""I Must Go Home Tonight,"" ""When You're Hot, You're Hot"" and ""If I Ruled the World"" --Connie Stevens - ""Someone Who Cares"" Comedy: --Joe Baker (British comedian) and Des O'Connor appear as Laurel and Hardy. --Continued from the previous week: The world's oldest bullfighter (Charlie Callas) appears on a talk-show.

60 min

36

Des O'Connor / Buddy Greco / Jack Douglas / Connie Stevens

Music: --Buddy Greco - ""MacArthur Park"" (with dancers) --Des O'Connor, Buddy Greco and Connie Stevens - ""Proud Mary"" --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) - ""If I Ruled the World"" and medley (""World of Dreams,"" ""Somebody Else Is Taking My Place,"" ""There Goes My Everything"" and ""Dream"") Comedy: --Jack Douglas plays an annoying salesman. --A couple (Des O'Connor and Connie Stevens) celebrate their 10th anniversary by fighting.

60 min

37

Des O'Connor / Keith Michell / Terry-Thomas

Music: --Keith Michell - ""Let's Walk by the Sea"" --Terry-Thomas - ""It Could Have Been So Pleasant"" and ""The Night I Appeared as Macbeth"" --Des O'Connor (Summer 1971 host) - ""Try a Little Kindness,"" ""Misty"" and ""You've Got Your Troubles"" --Des O'Connor - medley: ""In My World of Dreams,"" ""Say It Isn't So"" and ""It Had to Be You"" Comedy: --Terry-Thomas presents his version of the American Revolution. --Keith Mitchell tutors Des O'Connor on the art of Shakespearean acting.

60 min