Bob Hope Presents the Chrysler Theatre Season 4, Episode 17: The Lady is My Wife

1

Nightmare

In her secluded mansion, crippled Isobel Cain receives loving care from her husband Morgan and her twin sister Vicky. But the two have more than Isobel's welfare at heart: they're planning to poison dear Isobel and live happily ever after on her money.

2

Time of Flight

Private detective Al Packer had his legs broken by two hoods after he put their friend behind bars. Now, barely able to hobble around his apartment, Packer receives an attractive offer for a routine job: $300 a week to protect a small-time thief named Markos. But the new case is anything but routine: At a seedy hotel hideout, Packer sees Markos gunned down -- or does he? The ""corpse"" comes alive, fires Packer and leaves the hotel.

3

And Baby Makes Five

A New York author fed up with the pressures of urban living, quits his job and moves with his pregnant wife to a small California town. Here he accepts an editor's position at a tiny weekly newspaper, inspiring both praise and wrath by using the publication as a pulpit for his crusading.

4

Crazier than Cotton

Matt, a 34-year-old sculptor who is spectacularly unsuccessful, knows he's hit rock bottom when he has to borrow money from his girlfriend in order to attend his father's funeral. As he stands at graveside, Matt vows to do something ""worthwhile"" with his life. Problem is, sculpting is all he knows.

5

Murder at N.B.C.

Fifteen fellow comedians join Bob in ""Murder at NBC"", a spy spoof. Bob plays a mad scientist with a nuclear chemical capable of shrinking the U.S.A. Spies are Don Adams, Milton Berle, Red Buttons, Johnny Carson, Jack Carter, Bill Cosby, Wally Cox, Bill Dana, Jimmy Durante, Don Rickles, Dan Rowan and Dick Martin, Soupy Sales, Dick Shawn and Jonathan Winters.

6

Massacre at Fort Phil Kearny

On December 21, 1866 eighty men rode out of Fort Phil Kearny to support a wood-cutting expedition that had come under attack. The wood was necessary to build the fort. They were led out onto the Bozeman Trail and ambused in the pass by the Sioux and wiped out. The leader of the Sioux tribe was Chief Red Cloud.

7

Dear Deductible

A popular but improvident songwriter, after spending all of his royalties, agrees to marry an heiress, not because of her money, but because of her lack of money. You see, both plan to file a joint income tax return, thereby enjoying the bounty of the IRS' ""deductible"" system. This will keep them both solvent until they can recoup their fortunes.

8

Bing and Me

Where there's Hope, there's often Bing. And when Bing and Bob get together you'll invariably find pretty scenery - almost all of it female! Bob introduces Bach Yen (White Swallow), a 23-year old Vietnamese singer, and his own selection of promising Hollywood starlets. Bach Yen sings ""What Now My Love?"" (in French & English) and ""Dem Dong"", a Vietnamese folk song. Bing offers ""In the Cool, Cool of the Evening"" and ""Pennies From Heaven"". Sketches include, a wealthy Texan (Bob) and a snooty Englishman (Bing) enter their prize ponies in the Grand National. And ""Fantastic Stomach"" a parody of the movie ""Fantastic Voyage"" which finds a miniaturized Bob and Bing penetrating the Vast Waistline to find out what's ailing Jackie Gleason. Les Brown conducts the orchestra.

9

The Blue-Eyed Horse

A beleaguered husband stands before the judge, trying to explain why his wife has disappeared. The police suspect foul play, offering as evidence the strained relationship of the couple and the debts incurred by her gambling. Only he knows (or thinks he knows) the incredible truth: his wife has been magically transformed into a horse!

10

The Fatal Mistake

Set in England, a respectable accountant and family man every month on the dot, he is visited by his ""friend"", who graciously bestows gifts upon his wife and children, then retires with his host into the den. Here he collects his monthly blackmail check--just as he does with all his other ""clients"". Tired of paying out extortion, he plans a neat little mishap for him.

11

Storm Crossing

Trapped by a severe storm, do they risk getting out.

12

The Eighth Day

An embittered ex-athelete finds himself very much alone after stealing priceless jewels from a church on Christmas Eve.

13

Free of Charge

This free-wheeling story about a composer named Harrybell, who swings around Los Angles seeking inspiration for a musical tribute to the city. Harrybell is also running from the police, who think he?s some kind of nut.

14

A Time to Love

A tired doctor is renewed by a young protege while his wife finds her own distraction.

15

Code Name: Heraclitus (1)

Frank G. Wheatley is a British spy who is investigating the past of Lydia Constantine, the widow of a secret agent. Constantine is suspected of selling Cold War secrets to the Communists. To ascertain the truth, it is necessary to ""rebuild"" Constantine and send his living counterpart behind the Iron Curtain.

16

Code Name: Heraclitus (2)

A man who dies on an operating table is brought back to life, but he has no memory of anything that happened before he wakes up. A government agent decides that he would make a perfect undercover operative.

17

The Lady is My Wife

Set in the post-Civil War Old West. A wealthy horse breeder hires the Bannisters, a genteel--and broke--Southern couple. The cowboy has more in mind than horses when he sets his sights on Mrs. Bannister.

18

Blind Man's Bluff

While investigating a murder, involvements become an entangled mess when love happens.

19

A Song Called Revenge

A singer gets caught up in a romantic triangle.

20

The Reason Nobody Hardly Ever Seen A Fat Outlaw in the Old West is as Follows

Comical Sheriff Tinsley is up against the Swine Gang and mighty frightened of Curly the Kid.

21

Verdict For Terror

Law student Darryl Cooper invites an ambitious D.A. to meet his fraternity brothers in 'the griddle,' a political question and answer session. The D.A. accepts, but soon wishes he hadn't, five years ago, he sent Darryl's brother to the gas chamber. Now, Darryl intends to use the griddle to prove his brother's innocence, and to destroy the D.A.'s career.

22

Dead Wrong

A tense drama about a hermit monk, whose isolated mountain cabin is invaded by a gun-wielding ex-convict, his younger brother and the girl they both love.

23

Don't Wait For Tomorrow

Newspaperman Matt Braid's search for an international criminal leads him to a lavish villa on a Greek island -- where a vicious beating convinces Braid that he's on the right track.

24

Wipeout

Surfer Greg Travis tries to cash in on his friendship with an aging film star-by stealing her multimillion-dollar jewel collection.

25

To Sleep, Perchance to Scream

In Hollywood, private eye Adam Steele investigates the murder of a colleague who was working for a ruthless business tycoon. Steele?s search for motive and murder leads up several blind alleys-but all are somehow connected with his friend's employer.

26

Deadlock

Virginia Cloyd is the widow of a notorious criminal. Early one morning, Virginia calmly walks into a police precinct office--armed with a pistol and vial of nitroglycerine. In a measured voice, she announces that she intends to wait for detective James Lassiter, the man responsible for the death of her husband. She also declares that she intends to kill Lassiter, in full view of the other cops.