The Abbott and Costello Show Season 1, Episode 8: The Army Story

1

The Drug Store

Bud and Lou find jobs in Fields' drugstore and nearly wreck the place. This episode opens with the famous "Jonah and the Whale" routine.

2

The Dentist's Office

When Lou gets a toothache he attempts to get arrested so he can receive free treatment while incarcerated.

3

Jail

Lou damages Mrs. Crumbcake's waterpail and she drags him into court claiming .79 cents in damages. In jail, Lou's crazed cellmate becomes enraged whenever he hears "Niagara Falls."

4

The Vacation

Bud and Lou head off to the Biltmore Hotel near Phoenix for a vacation. "Hertz U-Drive" and the "Pack-Unpack" routines are performed.

5

The Birthday Party

Lou throws a birthday party for himself, but nearly poisons his guests when he puts ant paste on his hors d'oeurves instead of anti pasto. Bud throws him out and Lou consoles himself by ordering a giant decorated cake.

6

Alaska

When news arrives that Lou's uncle has struck gold in Alaska, Bud and Lou plan to help him spend it.

7

The Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

Bud and Lou visit an employment agency run by Mr. Fields' brother, who gives Lou a job selling vacuum cleaners door to door.

8

The Army Story

Bud and Lou join the Army, where they recreate their routines from the feature film 'Buck Privates.' "Drill Routine" and "Dice Game" are performed.

9

Pots and Pans

Working as a door-to-door cookware salesman, Lou prepares a dinner for his friends in hopes of moving some product. However, his honest culinary efforts are met with disaster.

10

The Charity Bazaar

Bud and Lou participate in Hillary's charity bazaar, raising money with the "shell game." Lou blows his money at the kissing booth.

11

The Western Story

Bud and Lou accept Hillary's invitation to visit her uncle's B-Bar-Bop ranch.

12

The Haunted House

Hillary will inherit a castle if she spends one night there. Bud and Lou come along with her for protection and Lou is scared out of his mind by frightful encounters.

13

Peace and Quiet

Lou sleeps all day but can't sleep at night. Bud takes him to see a psychiatrist. Eventually Bud checks him into a sanitarium for a night's rest. "Crazy House" is performed.

14

Hungry

Bud and Lou visit a couple of restaurants. In one they become involved with twin waitresses. In the other, Lou has a battle with an oyster.

15

The Music Lovers

Lou attempts to impress Hillary and her father with his musical abilities. While pretending to perform, Bud falls asleep and ruins the scheme.

16

The Politician

Bud coaches Lou on running for public office, a political campaign that ends with Lou delivering a disastrous speech in a neighborhood park.

17

The Wrestling Story

Lou and Stinky agree to settle their differences with a wrestling match. When Stinky becomes ill, his little brother Ivan the Terrible takes his place.

18

Getting a Job

Bud and Lou are hired to deliver hats to the Susquehanna Hat Company on Floogle Street and encounter several lunatics on the way. Also, Stinky attempts to kill Lou by backing him into traffic. The "Loafing" routine is performed.

19

Bingo the Chimp

Mike the Cop tells Lou that he must have a license for his pet chimp. But Lou accidentally applies for a marriage license.

20

Hillary's Birthday

While shopping for Hillary's birthday present, Lou nearly destroys a grocery store. Later, at her party, Mr. Fields becomes upset about the noise.

21

The Television Show

Lou is a contestant on a TV quiz show where he wins a pack of bubblegum. Their neighbor slips on a piece of gum and takes them to court.

22

Las Vegas

Bud and Lou pay $90 for a car and head for Las Vegas, where Lou takes part in a violent game of billiards. The "mudder/fodder" routine is performed.

23

Little Old Lady

Bud and Lou attempt to help an old lady who has been evicted. They raise $300 and she uses the money to bet on a racehorse.

24

The Actors' Home

Bud is taken away to an old actors' home where he and Lou perform their famous "Who's on first?" routine.

25

Police Rookies

Mike the Cop helps Bud and Lou enroll in the Police Rookie School, where Lou blows up the gymnasium while playing with a hand grenade.

26

Safari

When Bingo gets sick, the whole gang travels to Africa to find his parents.