Portal Season 1, Episode 22: Fist of the Redneck

Mission Briefing

From EverQuest to Anarchy Online, from Asheron's Call to Jumpgate, Cybernaut Dave and his computer companion VAL kick off their never-ending coverage of the virtual online realms. Meet some of the personalities that make these worlds go 'round and learn how you can directly participate in the show.

30 min

Anarchy Online

In the far future, citizens of the distant planet of Rubi-Ka are caught in a global struggle for their very survival ... where ""Portal"" begins its in-depth coverage of Anarchy Online. Learn how you can create your first character and battle alongside thousands of others online. We'll also take a disturbing look at the lives of online criminals, and reveal our very own virtual hero.

30 min

Asheron's Call

We'll take a look at Asheron's Call, where a single spell that went horribly wrong nearly destroyed the world of Dereth. It's up to you and a few thousand of your best online friends to save the kingdom. Dave and Val will also reveal secret locales in Anarchy Online, and introduce a little thing called Star Wars Galaxies.

30 min

More Anarchy Online

A global struggle threatens the very survival of the futuristic world of Anarchy Online. Witness the tragic chain of events behind this deadly war, and discover new hidden areas of the planet. Also, we'll give you a sneak peek at one of the most graphically stunning realms ever created ... it's the sequel to Asheron's Call!

30 min

EverQuest

""Portal's"" coverage of the online world continues as we take a tour of EverQuest's new moon and learn how to play its newest character class, The Beastlord. Then, we'll teach you how to build your own composite bow in Asheron's Call ... and reward yourself with a virtual gift basket! Plus, ""Portal's"" death expert, a disturbing children's story, and an incredible look at Lineage 2!

30 min

More Asheron's Call

This episode of ""Portal"" travels to the far corners of the virtual universe as we show you how to get around effectively in Asheron's Call and explore one of the game's most popular dungeons, The Lugian Citadel. Do you know who you're really playing with when you play online? Could celebrities be adventuring in the virtual realms? We'll look into it and bring you a full report. In addition, we'll take a look Everquest and a preview of City of Heroes, the world's first massively multiplayer superhero title.

30 min

More EverQuest

Think Necromancing is tough in Everquest? Our gnome Olly has all the answers to make your life easier. We'll also give you a tour of the continent of Fawyder and a peek at EQ's newest expansion land, The Planes of Power. And in another realm of swords and sorcery--Asheron's Call--the monarch known as Elder reveals the secrets of his power. Then the action moves to outer space with unique interviews and game footage from Earth & Beyond Online. And finally, Dave once again examines the question of why virtual life is better than real life.

30 min

E3

Check out some of the new Massively Multiplayer titles that were on display at this year's E3: Planetside, City of Heroes, Lineage 2, to name just a few. We visited with several developers and listened to what they had to say about their most exciting titles. Then, we'll teach you the secrets of what it is that a Meta-Physicist does in Anarchy Online. And why is Dave hanging out at a dangerous biker bar? We'll try to figure that out, plus take you to an online wedding, and catch up with The Drifter.

30 min

Dark Age of Camelot - Albion

""Portal"" begins its exploration of the Dark Age of Camelot with a close look at the kingdom of Albion, which is based on the legends of the Brits. We'll also show you how to get your first character up to level 2 in 10 minutes. Then, Trish Lewis checks out one of the hottest parties of the year in Anarchy Online. Plus, get the lowdown on a secretive new MMOG, EVE: The Second Genesis. Finally, ""Portal's"" very first quest.... Can the Drifter and a small band of heroes take on an army of Wooly Mammoths in the frozen wastelands of Everquest?

30 min

A Very Swampy Portal

Get set to explore the coolest swamps in all the virtual world on this episode of ""Portal."" And wait 'til you meet your tour guides: there's Mercy the Mercenary; legendary TV star The Alligator Tamer; and, yes, the triumphant return of Grooter, the virtual world's most loveable redneck! Plus, The Drifter leads a band of heroes on a Froglok smackdown, an old geezer takes you fishing, and Dave lands an exclusive interview with the dangerous leader of the Slimebathers.

30 min

Dark Age of Camelot - Hibernia

Get ready to explore Hibernia, a magical land based on ancient Celtic myths. Then, "Portal's" parade of virtual wackos continues, as you'll meet the wretchedly awful Bard, Sinny O'Connell and Woodstock-reject Rick. Plus, learn how to have your virtual character immortalized in your very own 3D portrait. And finally, we'll look into the possibility that Dave suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder. All this, and a tough guy in a wedding dress, is coming up on this episode of "Portal."

30 min

Everquest: Past, Present, and Future

First, you'll learn the truth about the mysterious character class, The Monk. Then, we'll head into EQ's new expansion land, "The Planes of Power" and the unbelievable Everquest 2. After that, we'll depart Norrath for the all new sci-fi world known as Iritor Online--you won't believe your eyes. Also, The Drifter goes on a mad quest of revenge after someone murders his old hunting buddies. And finally, Dave once again examines the issue of Real Life vs. Virtual Life.

30 min

The High Level Hoedown

Take a journey into the Netherworld. Traverse frozen wastelands, and travel to the moon on Portal's "High Level Hoedown." But fear not low-level newbies, Zherbo Reaufeaux has a treat for you as well. Then, when cavemen murder a friend of The Drifter, you better believe someone's in for a world of hurt. Also, why is poor old Grooter in a panic? Plus, see what it's like to create your very first avatar in Earth & Beyond Online.

30 min

VBS Is On The Air

Dave and VAL decide to launch their own television network within the virtual world: VBS! Be the first to sample some of their red hot shows, like Phobia Face Off, The Courting Game, Trapped, and Dave-Strolling. You gotta see it to believe it! Plus, be prepared for some surprise special guests. The Virtual Broadcasting System is now on the air!

30 min

Dark Age of Camelot - Midgard

Dave and VAL give you a detailed look at The Dark Age of Camelot's Midgard, including a How-To-Be-a-Hunter Guide, courtesy of Dr. Bloolittle. Plus, The Ultimate launches his grandest assault ever, and "Portal" may never be the same!

30 min

Visions of Rick

Is Dave finally going crazy, or is the hippie Rick really trying to contact him from the next world? Dave better figure it out fast, because it's going to be a busy day in The Hub: learn how to build your first spaceship in Earth & Beyond, how to play an Engineer in Anarchy Online, and how to appreciate the beauty of poetry. Plus, Dr. Julia Hopkins, the woman who brought virtual OCD into the spotlight, has a new report on an even more disturbing psychological disorder. And Finally, is The Drifter getting a sidekick?!?

30 min

The Secret Origin of Grooter

You've watched him take down high-level monsters with but a single blow--now learn how a man so incredibly simple has achieved such incredible heights of power. It's the secret origin of Grooter! Plus, Dave hops into his "Yalmaha XL" air vehicle to give you a personal tour of the most ferocious and extreme zone in all of Anarchy Online ... prepare yourself to witness monsters like you've never seen before! And finally, The Drifter decides he's tired of reacting, and goes on the offensive....

Tales of Sacrifice

Selfish behavior is prevalent in the virtual world. That's why Dave and VAL have decided to share ""Tales of Sacrifice"" with you. Five inspiring stories of selflessness from five distinct virtual worlds: Anarchy Online, Everquest, Asheron's Call, Dark Age of Camelot, and Earth & Beyond Online. Some of these tales feature characters you know and love and others feature new personalities, but each story shares one common and important theme: sacrifice. Get the tissues ready.

30 min

Love & Hate

Watch Portal history in the making as Dave introduces viewers to a new recurring character, his very own best friend. Also, get re-acquainted with one the virtual world's foulest villains, Darwin, and learn why this sadistic Ogre must stopped at all costs. Then, The Drifter goes head-to-head with an evil Leprechaun, and it nearly costs him his life! Also in this episode: Twin Berserkers, a Thane Video Cookbook, Earth & Beyond Online, and more!

30 min

How to Make Friends Online

In this episode, Dave and VAL show you how to forge new virtual friendships. Here's a taste of what to expect: Everyone knows that people flock to healers, and Portal will show you how to patch like a pro. Fashion expert Zherbo Reaufeaux returns with helpful makeover tips to help you make a great first impression. Dave conducts a fascinating experiment: Is it easier to make friends in the virtual world or in the real world? Meet Megan, your new best friend in Earth & Beyond Online. Take a peek at The Sims Online. And if you thought The Drifter was tough, wait'll you meet Volcano Jack!

30 min

Vanished

Dave and VAL scramble to put a transmission together as their original subject, The Drifter, disappears without a trace! In this episode: Explore Everquest's newest zone, The Jagged Pine Forrest. An untold tale of The Drifter is called up from the archives. Meet the winner of Portal's "Best-Decorated Apartment Contest" in Anarchy Online. It's Sorcerer vs. Infiltrator, with color commentary by Howell Cossard! Take a sneak peek at Everquest Online Adventures for the PS2. In Earth & Beyond, a cocky Starpilot gets ready for his first flight in a new ride. And somewhere, a dark force reawakens....

30 min

Captive!

Dave - A captive of The Ultimate! VAL - On her own! The Drifter - Missing in action! Darwin - On a rampage! Could this be the last episode of Portal ever?!? Or will unlikely heroes emerge to save the day? This is the episode you thought you'd never see ... !

30 min

Portal's Salute to the Elements

In this transmission: Meet a real life Theurgist, a magic user with the power to harness the elements! Descend into the fiercest elemental dungeons in the virtual world. Meet the elementals of EverQuest. Sneak a peek at the world of Horizons. Say hello to guest stars galore. And cross your fingers as Dave calls in a "specialist" to aid in the search for The Drifter.

30 min

Dave Quits

Dave is convinced that his presence in The Hub endangers his friends and coworkers, so he decides to leave ... permanently! Can anyone talk him out of it? In this transmission: A look back at Portal's less fortunate moments. A sneak peek at an exciting new world, ""Dragon Empires."" New information on the whereabouts of the missing Drifter. A dangerous new villain! And guests stars galore!

30 min

A Crappy Portal Halloween

Portal examines the concept of Halloween, and illustrates how such a holiday often leads to great disappointment, and often ... tragedy. In this episode: Trick or Treating ... down the tubes. Two separate Halloween parties ... gone bad! A vampire tale more tragic than any you've seen before. A new recurring character--a professional Sensitivity Trainer-- joins the Portal family.

30 min

Vacation Day

As Dave attempts to enjoy his annual forced vacation day, The Drifter and Darwin prepare to take each other down.... Also in this episode: Grooter plans to sweep Yoodle off her feet with a romantic getaway! How Dave met Sunny Dove! Camelot in Anarchy?? Asheron's Call 2, and lots of it! Pixies! And more tears from poor little Berney!

30 min

Portal's First Annual Film Fest

Many of Hollywood's greatest classics were actually inspired by virtual masterpieces. In a salute to cinema, Portal's 1st Annual Film Fest takes a fond look back at these works of art. Plus, did a member of the Portal family once star in their very own movie!?! You won't believe it!

30 min

Searching for Bodies

Rick, Portal's body-swapping Spiritual Advisor, is having problems with his current form and wants to move. But he's not the only one looking for a body... Also in this episode: Sports commentator Howell Cossard returns to announce a very important fight. Sergeant Moe Tuesday is once again on the case. The Drifter makes a terrifying discovery in Asheron's Call 2.

30 min

Virtual Arbor Day

In this episode: Travel to Earth with Dave as he examines popular opinion on this important holiday. Visit the most unexplored forest in all of Anarchy Online. Learn the secrets of Mother Nature from a professional Druid. Then, it's down to business... Take a first look at Rick's new body. Plug your nose as the Drifter heads into Everquest's Plane of Disease. Cross your fingers as the hunt for Dave's betrayer begins. Gasp at a terrifying ending which will rock the Portal universe.

30 min

Down The Tubes, Pt. 1 - Enter: Apex

"He speaks with no sound, and his word is law." A simple riddle. A complex madman. And the end of life as we know it. Who is Apex? What does he want? And how can Dave, VAL, and the rest of the Portal crew possibly stop him? The mystery begins to unfold in the first chapter of a 4-part epic that will change the Portal universe forever. It's got more shocks and surprises than any viewer can possibly handle. It's Portal, "Down the Tubes!" You must not miss it!

30 min

Down the Tubes, Part 2 - Rust

The "Down the Tubes" saga continues with part 2 of 4! Making final preparations to take over The Universe, the power-hungry Apex begins to systematically eliminate all potential adversaries, starting with Portal's friends! Meanwhile, Dave and VAL concoct a plan to return to The Hub... but will it be too late? Also in this episode: Dr. Julia Hopkins continues her search for Dave's betrayer. Is something wrong with Grooter? And the birth of the most unexpected hero of all...

30 min

Down the Tubes, Part 3 - Desperate Measures

The "Down the Tubes" saga continues in this shocking finale to Portal's very first season!... Apex continues to eliminate Portal's friends as he prepares for ascension. Will Dave and VAL be able to make the fast cash needed to return to The Hub and save the day? Or will they merely be returning to a long series of funerals, including their own?!? Not if world-famous movie star Dirk Ruddy has anything to say about it...

30 min