The Golden Girls Season 4, Episode 13: The Impotence of Being Ernest

1

Yes, We Have No Havanas

Blanche's latest boyfriend is a charming Cuban whom sweeps Blanche off her feet but she's not the only one when Blanche discovers he's been dating Sophia behind her back. Meanwhile, Rose takes a course taught by Dorothy in order to get a high school diploma.

24 min

2

The Days and Nights of Sophia Petrillo

This episode does a study in contrast, Sophia's busy day to Blanche, Dorothy and Rose's lazy day. While Sophia, organizes a band to raise money, volunteers at the hospital and battles return policies at the supermarket, Blanche, Dorothy and Rose sit around discussing what they should do that's constructive.

24 min

3

The One That Got Away

Blanche is determined to sleep with the one man who has refused her once in the past. Meanwhile, Rose claims to have seen a UFO and gets the Air Force involved.

24 min

4

Yokel Hero

Rose is running for St. Olaf Woman of the Year and with a little help from Blanche and Dorothy, altering her list of qualifications on the entry form, she's a sure winner. Meanwhile, a heat wave strikes Miami and the girls' air conditioning goes out.

24 min

5

Bang the Drum, Stanley

At a baseball game, Sophia gets beaned. This prompts Stan to talk her into filing a lawsuit for payment for her severe injuries, which he gets her to fake. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose prepare for roles in the play Cats.

24 min

6

Sophia's Wedding (1)

The death of a close friend, Esther Weinstock, brings Sophia face to face with Esther's husband a man whom she vowed never to speak to again due to things that happened in the past. However, when Dorothy prompts them to make up they get a little to close and wind up in bed together. Soon after, they announce their engagement, something that Dorothy is totally against. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose begin a Elvis Presley fan club.

24 min

7

Sophia's Wedding (2)

Sophia and Max come back from their honeymoon with no place to stay so Blanche, Dorothy and Rose put them up until they can find a place. Meanwhile, Sophia and Max decide to restart the old business Max had with Sophia's late husband, a pizza knish stand. However, Dorothy begins smoking again!

24 min

8

Brother, Can You Spare That Jacket?

The search is on for the missing winning lottery ticket that would give the girls $10,000. The girls had put it in the pocket of an aviator jacket, which Sophia mistook as an item to go to a thrift shop. The search leads the girls to the thrift shop then to a celebrity auction and finally to a homeless shelter.

24 min

9

Scared Straight

Blanche's brother, Clayton comes to Miami for a visit and Blanche goes all out fixing him up on blind dates. However, Rose learns the truth, Clayton is gay and is afraid to tell Blanche the truth about himself.

24 min

10

Stan Takes a Wife

Stan breaks the news that he's engaged to be married something Dorothy at first seems to accept. However, after Sophia falls ill, Stan comforts Dorothy which sparks old feelings in her and she contemplates trying to get back together with Stan.

24 min

11

The Auction

The girls try to cough up enough money to pay for a new roof. Meanwhile, Sophia's volunteer job at the hospital is what brings the girls a piece of inside information that could give them enough money for a new roof and money left to spare. The info is that a famous artist is dying, so the girls head to an auction to bid on one of his paintings.

24 min

12

Blind Date

After being dumped by her boyfriend, Blanche befriends a man at a bar and makes a date with him unknown to her he's blind. Meanwhile, Dorothy and Rose try their hand at coaching a kids' football team.

24 min

13

The Impotence of Being Ernest

Rose is crazy about her latest boyfriend, Ernie, but can't understand why he doesn't approach the subject of sex, so when she forces the subject she learns the truth - he's impotent.

24 min

14

Love Me Tender

When Sophia sets Dorothy up on a blind date, Dorothy secretly falls for the seemingly simple man, claiming "he's the greatest lover she ever had." Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose join the "Be a Pal" and become pals to two motherless girls.

24 min

15

Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day, and the girls are all excited until each one of their dates cancel at the last minute. This leaves them to reminisce about Valentine's Day past.

24 min

16

Two Rode Together

Dorothy wants to spend some "quality" time with Sophia so she takes Sophia away for the weekend to the Florida Keys. However, her attempts fail when a fed up Sophia storms out. Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche try their hand at writing children's stories.

24 min

17

You Gotta Have Hope

Dorothy is in charge of a hospital charity show and things aren't going her way. She can't find any talent for the talent show and her emcee has just cancelled. Rose's solution for her problem makes things worse when the girls scour Miami in hopes of getting Bob Hope to perform in the show.

24 min

18

Fiddler on the Ropes

Without the consent of the other girls, Sophia sinks their life savings in, Pepe, a prize fighter. However, on the eve of the fight, the girls discover Pepe missing and make a shocking discovery.

24 min

19

Till Death Do We Volley

Dorothy's old friend, Trudy comes for a visit and this revives their old rivalry between each other. However, the visit turns tragic when Trudy suddenly dies and Dorothy blames herself.

24 min

20

High Anxiety

After Sophia accidentally knocks a bottle of Rose's pills down the sink, it is discovered, she is addicted to them. She then must battle withdrawal when she can't get a hold of another bottle. Meanwhile, Dorothy and Sophia are hired to be in a pizza commercial.

24 min

21

Little Sister

Rose's sister, Holly comes for a visit and becomes quick friends with Dorothy and Blanche, and leaves Rose out in the cold. However, when Rose catches Holly with Blanche's boyfriend and tries to tell Blanche, Dorothy and Blanche refuse to believe her.

24 min

22

Sophia's Choice

Sophia goes into action to break her friend, Lillian out of ""the worst nursing home in the city."" However, Lillian proves to be too much of a handful for Sophia to handle. Meanwhile, Blanche considers having her breasts enlarged.

24 min

23

Rites of Spring

A week prior to a friend's annual party, the girls debate on what they should do to improve their appearance. This leads the girls to reminisce about previous attempts to improve their looks.

24 min

24

Foreign Exchange

Sophia's old friends, Philomena and Dominic, come to Miami from Sicily, for a visit and have shocking news for Dorothy. Philomena and Sophia had met in the hospital when they were giving birth and now Philomena and Dominic claim that there was a mix-up and Dorothy was switched at birth. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose take ""dirty dancing"" lessons.

24 min

25

We're Outta Here (1)

Blanche, Dorothy and Rose return home from a play to discover Sophia in the midst of selling the house. It's later discovered a for sale sign was accidentally placed on the front lawn but Blanche begins to consider it after seeing the amount that she's offered.

24 min

26

We're Outta Here (2)

Blanche debates on whether or not to sell the house as her and the rest of the girls recall times they have spent together (via flashbacks).

24 min