Mystery Science Theater 3000 Season 3, Episode 19: War of the Colossal Beast

1

Cave Dwellers

In the theater, the crew watches as blonde barbarian called Ator fights to protect the mighty "Geometric Nucleus" from falling into the hands of a power-hungry villain in "Cave Dwellers" (1984). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel teaches the bots the art of Foley.

97 min

2

Gamera

In the theater, the crew watches as Japan comes under attack by Gamera, a giant, fire-breathing turtle monster, who also befriends a schoolboy in "Gamera" (1965). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Gamera pays a visit. This episode features the song "Tibby, Oh Tibby."

97 min

3

Pod People

In the theater, the crew watches as a little kid befriends a magic alien he calls Trumpy, while Trumpy's alien family go on a murder spree in "Pod People" (1983). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Trumpy's magic is causing chaos. This episode features the songs "Idiot Control Now" and "Clowns in the Sky."

97 min

4

Gamera vs. Barugon

In the theater, the crew watches as the legendary Gamera saves Earth from Barugon, a giant kaiju that hatches from a mysterious ruby egg in "Gamera vs. Barugon" (1966). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel and the bots present the 5000-piece Fightin' Men & Monster Set.

97 min

5

Stranded in Space

In the theater, the crew watches as an astronaut finds himself on a parallel Earth with a dystopian government in “Stranded in Space” (1973). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Tom bakes cookies.

97 min

6

Time of the Apes

In the theater, the crew watches as a woman and two children emerge from cryogenic capsules only to find themselves in a world populated by anthropomorphic apes in "Time of the Apes" (1987). Meanwhile on the SOL, Crow deconstructs the fashions of the future. This episode features "The Sandy Frank Song."

97 min

7

Daddy-O

In the theater, the crew watches as a drag-racing singer investigates a murder and unwittingly becomes a courier for drug smugglers in "Daddy-O" (1958). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel and the bots re-enact some drag-racing. This episode features the short "Alphabet Antics" and the song "Hike Your Pants Up."

97 min

8

Gamera vs. Gaos

In the theater, the crew watches as Gamera, The Friend to All Children, battles the pterosaur-like kaiju called Gaos, in "Gamera vs. Gaos" (1967). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel performs a plate-spinning act as Gaos the Great.

97 min

9

The Amazing Colossal Man

In the theater, the crew watches as a military pilot is exposed to radiation that causes him to grow to an unmanageable size in "The Amazing Colossal Man" (1957). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Crow and Tom Servo make a fort to hide from Joel and get out of doing their chores.

97 min

10

Fugitive Alien

In the theater, the crew watches as an alien soldier defects to help Earth battle his former masters during an invasion in "Fugitive Alien" (1986). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel attempts to make sense of the plot using the Syd Field's Screenplay Model. This episode features the in-theater song "He Tried to Kill Me with a Forklift."

97 min

11

It Conquered the World

In the theater, the crew watches as a renegade scientist helps a cucumber-esque alien take over the world with bat-like mind-control devices in "It Conquered the World" (1956). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel attempts to use Crow as a ventriloquist dummy to get on to Star Search. This episode features the short "Snow Thrills".

97 min

12

Gamera vs. Guiron

In the theater, the crew watches as Gamera battles the knife-headed kaiju called Guiron, and attempts to rescue two abducted schoolboys in "Gamera vs Guiron" (1969). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Crow ruins Joel's big magic trick. This episode features Joel and the bots' own version of the "Gamera" theme song, in English and in dubious Japanese.

97 min

13

Earth vs. the Spider

In the theater, the crew watches as teenagers and a science teacher attempt to exterminate the giant spider that's rampaging through their small town in "Earth vs. the Spider" (1958). Meanwhile, on the SOL, there's a surprise performance from the rock group, Spidorr. This episode features the short "Speech: Using Your Voice."

97 min

14

Mighty Jack

In the theater, the crew watches as a secret organization with a flying submarine protect the world from the terrorist group "Q" in "Mighty Jack" (1968). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Crow and Servo fail to capture Joel in a prison of blinding light. This episode features the song "Slow the Plot Down."

97 min

15

Teenage Caveman

In the theater, the crew watches as a teenage caveman sets out on a prehistoric Rumspringa, leaving his tribe to explore the jungle in "Teenage Caveman" (1958). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel and the bots examine the pendulum of human development. This episode features the shorts "Aquatic Wizards" and "Catching Trouble."

97 min

16

Gamera vs. Zigra

In the theater, the crew watches as Gamera battles the shark-like alien monster Zigra, who wants to seize the Earth from mankind, in "Gamera vs. Zigra" (1971). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel and the bots get a visit from Kenny and Helen, Gamera's young friends from the film. This episode features variations of the "Gamera Theme Song."

97 min

17

Viking Women and the Sea Serpent

In the theater, the crew watches as Viking women in search of their missing husbands do battle with a society of barbarians, in "The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent" (1957). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel has developed a worrying obsession with waffles. This episode features the short "The Home Economics Story."

97 min

18

Star Force: Fugitive Alien II

In the theater, the crew watches as the Fugitive Alien, Ken, returns to help the human crew of the Bacchus 3 destroy the devastating super-weapon of Ken's homeworld in "Star Force: Fugitive Alien II" (1987). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel and the bots present the Captain Joe action figure. This episode features the "Fugitive Alien Medley."

97 min

19

War of the Colossal Beast

In the theater, the crew watches as the military attempts to capture a fifty-foot soldier who is ravaging Mexico in "War of the Colossal Beast" (1958). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel and the bots get a visit from Glenn Manning, the Colossal Man himself. This episode features the short "Mr. B Natural."

97 min

20

The Unearthly

In the theater, the crew watches as a mad scientist searches for a youth serum and performs experiments on his patients in an isolated sanitorium in "The Unearthly" (1957). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Crow and Servo learn to appreciate Gypsy for all the little things she does around the ship. This episode features the shorts "Posture Pals" and "Appreciating Our Parents."

97 min

21

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

In the theater, the crew watches as a group of Martians, eager for their own Christmas back on Mars, abduct Santa and two children in "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" (1964). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel and the bots share essays about Christmas. This episode features the song "(Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas."

97 min

22

Master Ninja

In the theater, the crew watch as an American ninja and his young sidekick protect local businesses from corrupt cops, thugs, and sleazy businessmen in "Master Ninja" (1984). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel and the bots reveal the many alternatives to nunchucks. This episode features "The Master Ninja Theme Song."

97 min

23

The Castle of Fu Manchu

In the theater, the crew watches as the wicked Doctor Fu Manchu uses an ocean-freezing chemical in an attempt to take over the world in "The Castle of Fu Manchu" (1969). Meanwhile, on the SOL, the film causes Joel and the bots to suffer emotional breakdowns.

97 min

24

Master Ninja II

In the theater, the crew watches as an aging American ninja and his young sidekick do typical ninja stuff: fighting terrorists and helping tuna cannery workers unionize in "Master Ninja II" (1984). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Tom assigns appropriate pets to a variety of crime-fighting characters.

97 min