Mystery Science Theater 3000 Season 6, Episode 17: The Sword and the Dragon

1

Girls Town

In the theater, the crew watches a women sent to a convent after being accused of killing a man. On the SOL, Crow hires the Power Steves for a party the crew is having, Servo scats in honor of Mel Torme, and the crew designs the woman of the future. In Deep 13: Dr. Forrester presents the Umbilicus, a giant cable connecting Deep 13 to the SOL. It connects directly to Gypsy, who is not pleased.

92 min

2

Invasion USA

In the theater, the crew watches as a group of people in a bar witness a Soviet takeover, in "Invasion USA" (1952). Meanwhile, on the Satellite of Love, Crow gives a lecture about Lois Lanes. This episode features the short "A Date with Your Family" (1950).

92 min

3

The Dead Talk Back

In the short "The Selling Wizard" (1954), an unseen narrator and a mute 'Pizza Dominatrix' explain the benefits of freezer cases to grocery store owners. In "The Dead Talk Back" (1957), a crackpot 'scientist' invents the machine that can supposedly communicate with the dead and uses it to help solve a murder. On the SOL, Servo and crow host "The Dead Talk Back" radio show, the crew dresses as the Grateful Dead, and the crew is interrogated by Dr. Forrester, but he is interrupted when Frank confesses.

92 min

4

Zombie Nightmare

In the theater, the crew watches as a beefy jock is raised from the dead and seeks revenge on his murderers in "Zombie Nightmare" (1987). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Mike ruins the bots' hot tub session.

92 min

5

Colossus and the Headhunters

In the theater, the crew watch Colossus leads a bunch of poor islanders to a battle against the enemy headhunters in "Colossus and the Headhunters" (1963). On the SOL, Servo does the crew's taxes, the SOL deals with NummyMuffinCooColButter - the worlds cutest pet - which has been given to them by Dr. Forrester, and the crew talks discusses decapitation.

92 min

6

The Creeping Terror

In the theater, the crew watches as a blob-like creature terrorizes a quiet town in "The Creeping Terror" (1964). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Mike refuses to salute the flag Crow has designed.

92 min

7

Bloodlust!

In the theater, the crew watches as a group of college kids are trapped on a private island and hunted by a madman in "Bloodlust!" (1961). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Crow manages to ruin both a square-dancing session and a murder mystery dinner theater. This episode features the short "Uncle Jim's Dairy Farm" (1960).

92 min

8

Code Name: Diamond Head

In the theater, the crew watches as a secret agent in Hawaii goes undercover to keep an extinction-causing chemical from falling into enemy hands, in "Code Name: Diamond Head" (1977). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Magic Voice answers the bots' "What if?" questions. This episode features the short "A Day at the Fair" (1947).

92 min

9

The Skydivers

In the theater, the crew watches as skydivers deal with the intense drama that comes with running a skydiving school in "The Skydivers" (1963). Meanwhile, on the SOL, shop class turns out to be a total bust. This episode features the short "Why Study the Industrial Arts?" (1956).

92 min

10

The Violent Years

In the theater, the crew watches as a girl gang goes on a crime spree under the leadership of a rebellious socialite in "The Violent Years" (1956). Meanwhile, in Deep 13, the Mads unveil their new radio station, "Turn Your Crank to Frank!" This episode features the short "Young Man's Fancy" (1952). The Deep 13 and SOL crews perform their own theme songs, including "Livin' in Deep 13."

92 min

11

Last of the Wild Horses

In the theater, the crew watches as a rivalry between two ranches over a herd of wild horses ends in murder in "Last of the Wild Horses" (1948). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Mike and the bots meet their Mirror-Verse counterparts. This episode features a reprise of the song "Joey the Lemur."

92 min

12

The Starfighters

In the theater, the crew watches as a lot of airplanes are refueled mid-flight during a young Air Force pilot's training in "The Starfighters" (1964). Meanwhile, on the SOL, The United Servo Academy Men's Chorus stages a gripping performance. This episode features the song "United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn."

92 min

13

The Sinister Urge

In the theater, the crew watches as a cop tries to shut down a "smut-picture racket" that may be connected to a series of killings in "The Sinister Urge" (1960). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Mike and the bots must reluctantly figure out a way to save Dr. Forrester from being blown up by TV's Frank. This episode features the short "Keeping Clean and Neat" (1956).

93 min

14

San Francisco International

In the theater, the crew watches as an airport manager winds up a pert of a scheme to rob a shipment of cash from a plane. On the SOL, Mike moderates a debate between Servo and Crow, Jan in the Pan is thrilled with Mike's Urkel imitation, so are the Mads, Pitch, and Santa Claus, and Torgo ruins everyone's good time about Mike's Urkel.

93 min

15

Kitten with a Whip

In the theater, the crew watches a girl escape juvenile hall and hold a wealthy couple captive. On the SOL, Crow readies for a raid of Deep 13 via the Umbilicus but is caught by Dr. Forrester, a kitten with a whip visits, and the crew creates a piñata in the shape of Dr. Forrester.

92 min

16

Racket Girls

In the theater, the crew watches as a gym owner uses a stable of female wrestlers as a front for a criminal organization in "Racket Girls" (1951). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Crow and Servo plan their wedding. This episode features the short "Are You Ready for Marriage?" (1950).

92 min

17

The Sword and the Dragon

In the theater, the crew watches as legendary Russian hero, Illya Morometz, battles the forces of an evil warlord with the help of a magic sword in "The Sword and the Dragon" (1956). Meanwhile, on the SOL, the Russian swordsman himself drops by on the Hexfield Viewscreen.

92 min

18

High School Big Shot

In the theater, the crew watches as an awkward teen gets mixed up in the wrong crowd and ends up a criminal in "High School Big Shot" (1959). Meanwhile, on the SOL, inspired by the short, Mike and the bots introduce a line of specialty breads made with unconventional "ingredients." This episode features the short Out of this World.

92 min

19

Red Zone Cuba

In the theater, the crew watches as an escaped criminal joins in the Bay of Pigs invasion in "Red Zone Cuba" (1966). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Mike believes he is Carol Channing. This episode features the short "Speech: Platform Posture and Appearance" (1949) and also the "Bouncy Upbeat Song."

92 min

20

Danger!! Death Ray

In the theater, the crew watches as secret agent Bart Fargo attempts to retrieve a death ray from a criminal organization in "Danger!! Death Ray" (1967). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Cambot is heartbroken over all the security cameras blown up in the film.

92 min

21

The Beast of Yucca Flats

In the theater, the crew watches as a scientist becomes a monster and rampages a rural desert community in "The Beast of Yucca Flats" (1961). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Crow petitions for film anti-preservation so that bad movies can deteriorate rapidly like they deserve. This episode features the shorts "Money Talks!" (1951) and "Progress Island U.S.A." (1972).

92 min

22

Angels Revenge

In the theater, the crew watches as a squad of gorgeous female vigilantes takes on a drug ring in "Angels Revenge" (1979). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Mike agrees that being sentenced to death by cannon is a fitting punishment for his Fonzie impersonation.

92 min

23

The Amazing Transparent Man

In the theater, the crew watches as a bank robber suffers side effects from the invisibility device he acquired from a mad scientist in "The Amazing Transparent Man" (1960). Meanwhile, in Deep 13, TV's Frank is devastated that he's missed his chance to see "Squanto: A Warrior's Tale." This episode features the short "The Days of Our Years" (1955).

92 min

24

Samson vs. the Vampire Women

In the theater, the crew watches as famous Mexican wrestler Santo (re-dubbed "Samson") battles a cult of vampiresses in "Samson vs. The Vampire Women" (1962). Meanwhile, in Deep 13, TV's Frank is escorted into Second Banana Heaven by Torgo the White. This episode features the song "Who Will I Kill?"

93 min