The Bob Newhart Show Season 4, Episode 16: No Sale

The Longest Good-Bye

Bob's old school friend Murdock is in town for a day to sell a complex giveaway item to a Chicago cereal company. Bob invites him to stay overnight at his home. The brief encounter stretches out to a week when Murdock can't make his business connections. He gradually takes over Bob's car, clothing, and most of his home life.

Here's Looking at You, Kid

Howard insists on joining Bob and Emily's anniversary dinner at a fashionable Chicago restaurant in order to enlist their aid in popping the question to Ellen. But he chokes up in the clutch, and Bob is forced to do the proposing for him.

Death of a Fruitman

Bob's patients observe tradition by planning a surprise party to honor the fourth year of the group's therapy sessions. When an unseen member, a Mr. Gianelli, threatens to turn the party into a disaster, Bob kicks him out of the group. His decision meets with instant group approval until Mr. Gianelli dies under a ton of zucchini.

Change is Gonna Do Me Good

Emily accuses Bob of being stuck in a middle-aged rut and challenges him to switch family responsibilities.

The Heavyweights

Bob and Emily invite Carol to share her "heavy" experiences with the "overweight workshop."

Carol's Wedding

A blind-date-initiated, 12-hour romance culminates in Carol Kester's civil marriage to a handsome travel agent.

Shrinks Across the Sea

Bob and Emily suffer international complications when they host a French psychologist in their home as part of a medical exchange program.

What's It All About, Albert?

Bob is depressed by his seeming lack of success as a psychologist. He seeks help from his old college professor, who manages to heighten his despair by informing him that psychology is all nonsense.

30 min

Who is Mr. X?

Bob accepts a seemingly innocent invitation to appear as the guest on a TV discussion program. He winds up in the jaws of a dilemma when the show host turns out to have the disposition of a shark.

30 min

Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

Bob moves up in the world from the seventh to the tenth floor when he joins the firm of a swinging psychiatrist.

30 min

Over the River and Through the Woods

It's a stag Thanksgiving for Bob when Emily flies off to join a family reunion, leaving Bob to share the holiday with his male buddies.

Fathers and Sons and Mothers

Bob suffers family problems when his mother becomes a houseguest and an elderly patient involves him in a parent-child vendetta.

30 min

The Article

When she's given an assignment to see what makes a bunch of doctors tick, inquiring news reporter Ellen Hartley gives Bob and his medical cohorts the tell-it-like-it-is treatment.

A Matter of Vice-Principal

Emily must contend with irate teachers, hamsters, and an escaped snake when she's unexpectedly upped to the position of school vice principal.

Bob Has to Have His Tonsils Out, So He Spends Christmas Eve in the Hospital

Christmas Eve finds Bob in the hospital with tonsillitis and an impending operation. Meanwhile, his friends are all suffering from an attack of Christmas-itis.

30 min

Carol at 6:01

Bob contends with a patient's delusion that her bingo game is fixed, staggers through a series of wild poker parties, and watches in wonder as his secretary slowly smothers under an attack of love.

Warden Gordon Borden

Howard's game-warden brother comes to Chicago to witness the mating of two whooping cranes—and stays to make a play for Howard's girlfriend.

My Boy Guillermo

Jerry Robinson's depression turns to instant joy when a globe-trotting ex-flame suddenly re-enters his life and proposes.

Duke of Dunk

A professional basketball team hires Bob to give a psychological assist to its superstar.

Guaranteed Not to Shrink

Bob develops a unique psychological problem when his receptionist, Carol, decides to resume her college career and become a psychologist.

Birth of a Salesman

The Hartleys are bombarded with legal hassles when Bob is sued by a shy patient and Emily decides to fight a parking ticket.

The Boy Next Door

The Hartleys entertain Howard Borden's young son and hire a beauty queen as his babysitter.

Peeper Two

Cliff Murdock, Bob's old laugh-a-minute college buddy, affectionately known as The Peeper, pays a return visit.