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Steve Smith Playhouse

Season 1 • Episode 13 • Wanker Express

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Steve Smith Playhouse Season 1, Episode 13: Wanker Express

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Original Title: Horror Express In the oringal film Professor Saxton discovers an ancient frozen monster in Manchuria in 1906. He loads the fossil onto a trans-Siberian train believing it may be the missing link and heads to Europe. As the trip progresses the fossil thaws then re-animates and begins killing all the passengers. In the Steve Smith version the fossil is apparently a phallus which causes everyone to engage in self-gratification some to the point of death. Watch Steve Smith Playhouse Season 1, Episode 13 Wanker Express in HD free online. Enjoy high-quality streaming of Steve Smith Playhouse Season 1, Episode 13 and share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Episodes

13 episodes

Season 1

The Surprise From Planet Uranus

Original Title: The Brain From Planet Arous Steve replaces the voice of the character Steve Marsh in this low budget science fiction classic. In the original movie, Steve Marsh’s mind is possessed by an alien brain from outer space, but in the Steve Smith version, his digestive tract is possessed by an alien gastro-intestinal disorder

Hot Rod Girl

Original Title Unchanged In the original movie Jeff Northrop quits street racing after the death of his brother but a new kid in town wants him back in and has taken his girlfriend Lisa Vernon to get it. In the Steve Smith version it is changed so that after the death of his brother Jeff no longer wants sex and Lisa desperately tries to get him to sleep with her.

Hercules Homo Maximus

Original Title: Hercules In the original movie Hercules (Steve Reeves) engages in conflict with Iphitus and his father Pelias King of Icolus. As he help Jason and his Argonauts to prove he is the rightful heir to the throne of Icolus. All while wooing Iole, Iphitus' daughter. In the Steve Smith version the story remains largely unchanged although Hercules is sissified a fair bit and turned slightly perverse.

The Giant Gila Monster

Original Title Unchanged In the orginal movie Chase Winstead must save his town from a giant lizard which has begun to feed on people. In the Steve Smith version, the lead character makes constant sexual references while still hunting the gila monster. The special effects in this movie are also a point of constant mockery.

Plan 9 From Outer Space

Original Title Unchanged In the original movie aliens try to stop humanity from creating an ultimate weapon by re-animating corpses as zombies and vampires. In the Steve Smith version the film is changed to be a sort of slapstick style comedy while mocking the film. He also occasionally includes elements from several well known sci-fi franchises, which makes the film even sillier.

Adult Acne Victim

Original Title: Atom Age Vampire In the original movie the professor(Alberto Lupo) heals a stripper who is baddly disfigured in a car accident. This treatment is obtained by using parts from murdered women, but must be done again and again to maintain the effect. During the course of this treatment he falls in love with women. But runs into trouble as the police are on to him for the murders. In the Steve Smith version, the treatment is not for the accident based disfigurement but instead for a severe case of adult onset acne.

The Wasp Wino

Original Title: The Wasp Woman In the original movie Janice Starlin (Susan Cabot) the owner of a cosmetics company becomes the test subject for an anti-aging treatment made from wasp jelly, developed by Eric Zinthrop. Unfortunately she overdoses and transforms into a wasp woman. In the Steve Smith version the wasp extract has the same effect although it has a secondary main ingredient the urine of Zinthrop. Liberal use is made of silly sound effects and drum rolls.

Eegah

Original Title Unchanged In the original movie some teenagers find a giant caveman in the hills and narrowly escape. They go back to find the giant and when they do he goes on a rampage in Palm Springs, Califora. In the Steve Smith version the story is again largely unchanged the inserted dialogue merly attempts to add some comedic value to an otherwise completely terrible movie.

Constipation Moon

Original Title: Destination Moon In the original movie a privately funded us manned mission to the moon is attempted in order to beat the Commies there. Once there they find they do not have enough fuel to return and must eliminate a lot of weight in order to return. In the Steve Smith version they find that the zero gravity of outer space causes extreme constipation in all the crew members. This causes the ship to be extremely overweight and so the must eliminate as much weight as possible in order to return to earth.

PreMeSozoic Women

Original Title: Prehistoric Women There is an interesting play in the new name of this episode PreMeSozoic Women note the capitalization of the word PreMeSozoic. A little bit of foreshadowing. In the original film David Marchand is an African jungle guide who is captured and about to be sacrificed by the natives. He is thrown back in time, to a time when women ruled and brunettes lorded over the blondes. The Queen wants David as a mate be he refuses. In the Steve Smith version most of the time is spent determining how the African natives are all buxom white women with British accents.

Terror In The Rented House

Original Title: Terror In The Haunted House In the original film Sheila Wayne is newly married to Philip Justin. Sheila is an American born woman, who has lived in Switzerland nearly all her life. Near the time of her wedding Sheila begins to have terrible nightmares about a house she has never been to. They move to Florida and to their new home only to find it is the terrifying house from her dreams. Terrible things ensue from move. In the Steve Smith version the story is changed to as such that the story deals with a bad rental relationship between tenants (the Justins) and their landlord and her dreams were foreshadowing of these bad relations.

Hercules Unchanged

Original Title: Hercules Unchained This is the first and only sequel in the series. In the original film Hercules loses his memory due to magic and spend much of the movie with the evil Queen Omphale in her pleasure gardens. Ulysses tries to help him regain his memory so the he can complete his mission of negotiating peace in Thebes. In the Steve Smith version, the story is again largely unchanged. Once again Hercules is played as a weaker more femine version than any other Hercules portrayal. When asked to help with the quarrel in Thebes Hercules is disgusted that his honeymoon is to be interrupted, which apparently is a swingers honeymoon as Ulysses is a part of it. Also the actor who plays Hercules is mocked for his poor acting ability.