The Dick Van Dyke Show Season 1, Episode 28: The Bad Old Days

The Sick Boy and the Sitter

Alan Brady is throwing a party at his penthouse for a few of the network executives and he wants the writing staff to attend. Unfortunately for Rob though Laura thinks Richie is on the verge of being sick and wants to stay home. Rob is certain he'll be okay and wants to get a babysitter but he's having a hard time convincing Laura.

25 min

My Blonde-Haired Brunette

Rob has only one day off from work and Laura is upset that Rob won't eat with her or do anything but sleep until 11am. Laura tells him he got about 7 seconds worth of sleep! (She set the clock ahead two hours!) Laura worries she is getting old (because of gray hair Rob found). In the office Rob tells Buddy and Sally the problem, but Rob has no idea what he and Laura fought over (She was crying to hard) Rob thinks over what may have made Laura cry. Rob calls her to say ""I Love You."" Laura tells Rob not to come home for an hour. (Millie ran out the hair color she use it all last week.)

25 min

Sally and the Lab Technician

Laura tries to get Thomas (her cousin) and Sally together, but when Sally arrives Thomas doesn't get to say much, Thomas likes Sally anyway!

25 min

Washington vs. the Bunny

25 min

Oh, How We Met on the Night That We Danced

While clearing out the bedroom closet, Rob finds his old army boots, bringing back memories of how he and Laura first met.

25 min

Harrison B. Harding of Camp Crowder, Mo.

Rob runs into Harrison B. Harding but Rob doesn't recall who he is. Harrison knows everything about Rob which bothers Rob greatly. So the Harrisons come to dinner, Rob thinks Harrison may be a con man. Ritchie tells Harrison where Rob's wrist watch is. Rob calls the police to report a possible robbery (it has not happened yet) So in order to find out more Rob listens with the glass up against the wall (the wrong end of it which cause Rob to get Tomato Juice in his ear.) When the police come Harrison explains he needed the watch to correct the spelling of Petrie (Harrison forgot to add the letter e.)

25 min

Jealousy!

Jerry plants seeds of mistrust in Laura's mind when he learns that Valerie Blake, the beautiful movie star, will be guesting on The Alan Brady Show. Laura doesn't listen to him until Rob begins a string of late night work sessions. Soon Laura's jealousy begins to grow and Rob will have to work just as hard to convince Laura that nothing is going on between he and Valerie Blake.

26 min

To Tell or Not to Tell

Rob wonders if Laura will go back into show business after someone is ill.

26 min

The Unwelcome Houseguest

Buddy and his wife can't take their German Shepherd, Larry, with them on a three-day weekend. Buddy wants Rob to keep Larry for the weekend, but Rob refuses because he hasn't talked it over with Laura. The next time we see Rob, he's trying to sneak Larry into the house. Ritchie is afraid because he thinks that Larry is a wolf and Laura can't sleep because Larry is crying. What is Rob to do?

25 min

The Meershatz Pipe

Rob's not as impressed with Buddy's new Meershatz pipe as he is with the fact that it was a gift from Alan Brady. Not just impressed but envious as well. After all, he is the head writer of the show and begins to feel as if he isn't needed. Getting sick and having to miss work for several days doesn't help his insecurities.

26 min

Forty-Four Tickets

Rob trips over a toy that Ritchie to pick up he even forget the Bridge night! Rob has also asked the PTA to come to a taping of The Alan Brady Show Mrs. Billings (Eleanor Audley) president of the PTA comes by to get the 44 tickets, Rob forgot to get the tickets! Now Rob has a few tickets. Mel gives Rob 6 tickets leaving 4 the U.N. (Mel's U.N.) Rob calls home thinking his wife is on the phone and asks (Ritchie) if could speak to mom. Rob goes to say 43 can go in and 33 can't go in. Rob buy a ticket (last weeks) for 50 cents. Rob has 31 tickets and starts telling the PTA he didn't get all the tickets. Mel tells Rob there are no tickets, the PTA will be in the show!

26 min

Empress Carlotta's Necklace

Rob buys Laura a hideous necklace but Laura can't bring herself to tell Rob how she really feels about it. When Rob invites his parents to see the necklace, his mother has a surprising reaction.

26 min

Sally Is a Girl

Rob takes Laura's advice when Laura shows Rob how to treat Sally like a lady after seeing her treated like a guy. Laura doesn't realize what trouble she causes! Rob hopes Laura's plan to get Sally a man works. Buddy & Mel talk about Sally & Rob going out to lunch leaving Buddy and Mel to believe Rob could be dating Sally behind Laura's back!

26 min

Buddy, Can You Spare a Job?

Buddy wants to leave the show to become Head Writer of another show. Mel can't release Buddy from his contract, so he helps Rob and Sally write a memo to Alan to encourage him to fire Buddy.

25 min

Where Did I Come From?

Rob recalls the hilarious events leading up to Ritchie's birth when Ritchie asks the inevitable question.

25 min

The Curious Thing About Women

Rob uses Laura's habit of opening his mail as the basis for a sketch on The Alan Brady Show.

25 min

Punch Thy Neighbor

Laura Millie and Jerry are watching the latest episode of The Alan Brady Show, Jerry tells everybody including the police officer who comes by to ask for tickets that show was bad. Rob takes Millie's advice (after Rob asks if everybody wants more coffee & Millie tries to Jerry to stop joking) pours hot coffee on Jerry's pants! Ritchie comes home and says Jerry got punched in the nose by Rob. Rob later tells Laura that he didn't punch Jerry in the nose. He later hears a waitress say she liked the show. Jerry tells everybody at the restaurant the show was bad (forcing Rob to hit Laura in the nose (with a fingernail!)

25 min

Who Owes Who What?

Laura wants to get ahead on paying taxes and tries to ask Rob about a $25 check while he is watching a boxing match and is mad because he missed the punch. Rob tries to figure out how to ask Buddy to pay him $25. Rob lies to Laura by saying Buddy paid the money back. While Jerry & Rob play chess Jerry says Rob should do a show on it to give Buddy the hint (to pay Rob back) Buddy think Rob owes him. Keep in mind the debut should have been paid 6 months ago!

26 min

The Talented Neighborhood

The Alan Brady Show is looking for talented kids and Rob is asked to get auditions for practically every kid in the neighborhood.

26 min

A Word a Day

Ritchie is starting to learn some new words. He says a bad word to Laura in the car. She thinks ignoring it is the best course, but Rob wants to have a "man-to-man" talk with Ritchie. Rob also wants to confront the family that he assumes is responsible for Ritchie learning the bad words, but that could prove embarrassing.

26 min

The Boarder Incident

Buddy's wife is out of town, so Rob invites Buddy to stay at his house for the duration. Disaster ensues.

26 min

Father of the Week

Rob is invited to talk to Richie's class about what he does for a living. However, Richie hates the idea, thinking the other kids will be bored listening to his dad talk about comedy writing.

26 min

The Twizzle

Sally drags the entire gang to a bowling alley when she discovers a new dance sensation that's sure to sweep the nation.

26 min

One Angry Man

Rob gets called for jury duty. Unbeknownst to Rob, Laura attends the trial. The defendant is an exotic dancer. Is she really innocent as only Rob believes? Is Rob going to be in a lot of trouble when he gets home?

26 min

Where You Been, Fassbinder?

Sally doesn't have a date for her birthday, then an old friend from high school (Leo Fassbinder) calls. Sally invites Leo to her apartment for a quiet evening, but Rob, Laura, Buddy and Mel think Leo is just a made up friend and plan to bring a loud party to Sally's apartment.

26 min

I Am My Brother's Keeper

Rob tells Jerry that Stacey sleep walks, there is one problem Stacey needs to be awake to audition for Alan Brady. Rob plans a party for Stacey to see if he will make it on the show. Will Alan be there? Mel is asked to go to Rob's house but Alan will need to give up his poker game.

25 min

The Sleeping Brother

Rob's shy brother Stacey has a problem. He's a somnambulist! And Stacey's a great performer when he's asleep. How can Rob get Stacey to perform a great audition for Alan Brady while Stacey is awake?

26 min

Sol and the Sponsor

Rob faces a dilemma when a rambunctious old army pal must be told he cannot attend a special dinner party that the Petries are throwing to make an impression with an Alan Brady Show sponsor.

25 min

The Return of Happy Spangler

Laura meets Happy Spangler who guesses who she is married to. Rob got his first job from Happy. Rob offers Happy a job to help Buddy and Sally write the show but doesn't feel he can do it. The gang quickly gets tired of Happy. Rob has to let him go because Happy can't come up with a joke.

26 min