Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist Season 5, Episode 3: Metaphors

1

Old Man

Katz seems to be losing energy and is sleeping later in the morning. He wonders if he's feverish, but in fact, he feels a little cold.

30 min

2

Fanny Pack

Katz gets a fanny pack to hold his cell phone, beeper, electronic organizer, and various other technological gadgets.

30 min

3

Metaphors

Katz brings up the job issue with Ben, and a series of metaphors ensues.

30 min

4

Movies

Katz and Ben try to decide on a movie. Katz wants to see ""Love Strings"" (a chick flick), while Ben wants to see ""Fire Power.

30 min

5

Ticket

Katz gets a ticket for running a stop sign, despite his efforts to lighten up the cop (""That is a great color for you""). Ben asks, ""Why didn't you play with his mind?"" and suggests they contest the ticket.

30 min

6

Phone Luv

Ben becomes enamored of Cindy, a telemarketer from Telepurchase. He mistakes her powerful sales skills for actual affection, and wants to have a private conversation with her, resulting in an angrily whispered argument between him and Katz.

30 min

7

Chain Letter

Ben is surprised to get a letter from boyhood friend Lance Garcy. Turns out it's a chain letter, and Ben is quite awed by its power of causing tragedy to strike those who ignore it.

30 min

8

Babysitting Ben

Katz gets a death threat, via Laura, who is unclear on the details; she didn't press for more information because ""I didn't want to make him angry--er.""

30 min

9

Miles Away

Ben's goes to visit his cousin Sarah, in an unnamed city, from whom he once stole money when he was 6 (""It was over a dollar,"" he says as he worries whether she's still upset).

30 min

10

London Broil

Ben points out, ""When we spend time together over breakfast: boring,"" leading to a discussion of the old games he and Katz used to play when Ben was a kid. Katz asks him to take the London broil out of the freezer, and then goes to work. When he gets home, Ben greets him with a clue -- the first in a series of 54 -- for a game of Treasure Hunt

30 min

11

Feng Shui

Ben begins rearranging the furniture in the apartment after picking up a book on Feng Shui, an ancient Chinese philosophy that teaches believers to arrange the objects in their surroundings to achieve inner peace. Dr. Katz is wary of Ben's new obsession with Feng Shui, but Laura finally finds something to talk about with Ben.

30 min

12

Alderman

Katz is disturbed to learn that the city alderman he voted for is corrupt. He talks about what HE would do if he were alderman: ""I'd like to bring crime back into the streets and out of the home,"" and get rid of the ""criminal element"" (Ben: ""Criminal element? What, are you Batman?""). Ben immediately begins being his dad's campaign manager, despite Katz's insistence that he is NOT running. (Ben's platform: handicap parking for everyone.) He makes signs and harasses Laura, inviting her over to help with the ""campaign"" (he tells her he used air quotes on the word ""campaign"").

30 min

13

Paranoia

Ben wakes Katz up in the middle of the night, claiming to hear a noise. Katz hears it too, and they both think they're being burglarized. After first trying to scare off the burglar (""I'm sure glad they haven't outlawed semi-automatic weapons in the city yet!""), they give up (""Help yourself, take whatever you want, just lock up when you're done""). Turns out the burglar doesn't get in, but Katz and Ben over-react -- oddly, this time it's Katz who over-reacts more. They get new locks and bars on the windows, and Ben wants a hamster. Katz tells Julie and Stan that a home is burglarized every 15 minutes, and that he can't believe he called 911 and was told he had the wrong number. (Stan: ""Did you dial N-I-N-E-one-one?"" Katz: ""OK, you win, you're the stupidest guy in the bar."") Katz suggests a lower peephole, in case the burglar is a midget. Why? Because every horror movie he's seen has an evil midget in it. (Movies mentioned: ""Midget Killers,"" ""I'm Small and You're Dead,"" ""Too Small to Let

30 min

14

Waltz

As Katz and Ben prepare to go to Katz's niece Rachel's wedding, Katz discovers that since Uncle Morty is dead, he'll have to dance with Rachel -- and he can't waltz.

30 min

15

Anniversary

Katz's wedding anniversary is approaching, so Ben wants to do something for him.

30 min

16

Community Theater

Katz is auditioning for a community theater production of ""Love's Retreat.

30 min

17

Ping-Pong

Katz's old ping-pong rival David Stanick calls and wants to play again -- for $750. Katz agrees and starts to train and worry.

30 min

18

Thanksgiving

It's Thanksgiving, and something big happening: Katz's ex-wife Roz is coming for dinner

30 min