Hollywood Off-Ramp Season 1, Episode 23: Unfunny Girl

1

Looking for Mr. Campbell

Two men are interested in getting actor Mr. Campbell to take on the lead role in their film. They get in contact with his 'secretary' who says that Mr. Campbell will not even read the screenplay for not less than a million dollars. One of the men goes behind the other's back and forks over the million. Little do they know, this is a ploy schemed by his employee and Mr. Campbell is already dead...

30 min

2

Simple Simon

The man that always plays killer Simple Simon in the Simple Simon movies wants his career to head in a different direction. After telling his agent that he doesn't need her, he gets what he wants. It turns out that he's no longer filming a movie and that everything he's ever done as Simon was really done by him in the real world.

30 min

3

Death by Gossip

Gossip columnist Edward Dexter (AKA ""The Whisperer"") refuses to not publish a story about a Hollywood actress that got pregnant out of wedlock and had an abortion. The actress then places an Egyptian curse on him and then commits suicide. Afterwards, Dexter starts being haunted by whispers.

30 min

4

Big Screen

An actress that's having trouble finding work unknowingly wins a big screen TV in a contest. The trouble is that her husband, who is also out of work, used to have a television addiction. They decide to keep the television, but trouble ensues when the man discovers a channel made especially for him- Dazzlevision, or better yet, Dazzlevision discovers him.

30 min

5

In Her Footsteps

Miranda Scott is the personal assistant to a famous actress Claire Danvers. She dreams of being an even bigger star than her boss. When Miranda finds out about how Claire incorporates aspects of other actresses in her performance, she uses that knowledge for her own career.

30 min

6

Casino

Two men are making an independent film, Smokescreen. They borrow money from a loan shark in order to finance the post production, but when the time comes around to pay him back, they have no money. While on the run from the loan shark, they peel a game sticker off of a coffee and realize that they've won some cash. However, it isn't enough to pay back the loan shark. They decide to gamble it and make enough to pay back the loan shark. They end up at a casion in the middle of the desert, only to find that at this casion they bet on the lives of people within the film industry. However, they also find that their own stocks are frozen.

30 min

7

And on Your Left

Guy runs a Hollywood tour called Deaths 'R' Us in which he points out places where famous people have died. The tour's business isn't doing so well and he gets evicted from his home. While driving one night, he picks up actress Angelina Romano after her car has broken down. He then murders her in hopes of adding more excitement to his tour.

30 min

8

Among My Souvenirs

After a woman is caught trying on a famour actor's underwear in his own home, a woman starts stalking a famous author, only to discover that it's exactly what he wants...

30 min

9

Watch Your Step

Devon Monk, a radio talk show host that makes fun of his callers, starts getting stalked. Soon he receives letters and even phone calls from his own home number about whether he'll choose life or death.

30 min

10

Sit, Duke

A dog in the television industry has the ability to verbally communicate with his trainer. The dog has dreams of making his big debut, perhaps performing Shakespeare, but the trainer won't hear of it. So, Duke creates a plan to kill his trainer and find a new one. However, after he completes his plan, it turns out that no one else can hear him.

30 min

11

T.K.O.

Joe, a screenwriter, has trouble getting a job. He meets up with an old screenwriting classmate who refers him to a coach of sorts that can help him fulfill his every desire. However, this coach doesn't want money in return. He wants souls.

30 min

12

The Ultimate Question

While trying out for a new game show, The Ultimate Question, a man become terrified when he realizes that it isn't an ordinary game show. For starters, it isn't filmed in front of an audience. And for a good reason, too. If you miss a question, you will be punished severely.

30 min

13

On My List

A wannabe stand-up comic can't find his hook. So, he comes up with the line 'You're on my list!' Everytime someone does something that he doesn't like, he uses it in his routine. However, it seems that everyone he puts on his list dies.

30 min

14

Club Brigadoon

A man enters Club Brigadoon only to find a young version of his deceased mother as one of the opening acts. He now has the chance to convince her to embark on the musical career that she never had.

30 min

15

An Eye for an Eye

A Hollywood producer accidentally hits one of his wives co-stars while he's driving and drinking. He hides the body and fakes an accident in which he claims to have tried to avoid a deer. Everything is fine until the man becomes paranoid and starts seeing the magnets on his refrigerator spelling out messages for him.

30 min

16

Screenplay By

A lonely secretary asks one of her fellow workers at a film company to read her screenplay. It gets passed around the office, each person taking credit for having written it. However, it turns out that the police are after the writer of the screenplay as it perfectly describes a murder that actually took place.

30 min

17

Murder - Take 2, 3, 4...

A police officer is investigating a murder. While looking through older police records, he finds that this same murder is repeated every ten years. Same woman, same police officers, same events. And he's destined to do it all over each and every decade.

30 min

18

Judgment Day

When the new Vice President of production, N.S. Wolf, cancels the series Judgment Day with no reason, the set becomes his own personal Hell. He soon realizes that his own life is following the script of the latest Judgment Day episode.

30 min

19

Model Behavior

A man finds himself locked in a room with three female mannequins. During the night, he finds them come to life. They aren't just mannequins, but ex-models who are now past their prime. They either want answers about the world's idea of beauty or the man's life.

30 min

20

The Flying Wahoo

A man whose career is being the mascot the Flying Wahoo is about to be let go from his position. Since being the Wahoo is the only important thing in his life, he won't let it slip away from him that easily. Then one morning, he wakes up and discovers that he now is the Flying Wahoo, it's no longer a costume, but his real body. He soon finds that other people aren't very tolerant of a man dressed up like a Wahoo.

30 min

21

Lucky Star

A man is given a special birthday present from one of his co-stars, a fortune telling star. Ask the star a question, push in the center of it, and it will answer your question. However, what the man doesn't know is that the star may be setting him up for murder.

30 min

22

Picture This

A member of the paparazzi believes that he's getting psychic photos from his camera. As he is developing photos that he's taken of celebrity Nathan Drake, he finds images that he could not have possibly taken. He believes that the life of Nathan's girlfriend is in danger. However, he's wrong. Dead wrong.

30 min

23

Unfunny Girl

Two men make a bet on whether or not you can make someone funny. One man must try and make what seems to be the unfunniest woman on the planet funny.

30 min

24

Cell Phone

After an agent starts talking on his cell phone during his client's funeral, a curse is put on him. Seems that as the battery on his cell phone nears being dead, he does too.

30 min

25

Along Came a Spider

A movie fanatic creates the ultimate website crawler. While searching for information on a hush-hush film, the spider finds some top secret information from the production company and automatically posts it on his website. The production company asks him to stop the spider or face time in jail. However, once you start a cyber-spider, you can't kill it...

30 min

26

Lights, Camera, Reaction

The filming of an adult movie suddenly becomes deadly when accidents start happening on the set. While waiting for help to arrive, the cast and crew try to figure out who the responsible party is and why.

30 min