Sanford and Son Season 5, Episode 14: Can You Chop This?

1

Earthquake II

Fred wakes up one morning to discover what looks like a robbery took place but learns that there was a small earthquake overnight. Grady breaks the news that a big one is scheduled to hit on the 6th and a fed up Fred decides to sell the house and move. Meanwhile, Fred heads to Las Vegas to avoid the earthquake on the 6th and has a run in with Merv Griffin and Steve and Eydie.

30 min

2

Divorce, Sanford Style (a.k.a.) Divorcee, Sanford Style

Aunt Esther is fed up with her husband, Woodrow and has decided to end her marriage. She has become convinced that he's seeing other women behind her back and becomes even more convinced when Fred tries to hook him up with a swinger. Refusing to live in the same house with Woody, Esther moves in with Fred and Lamont.

30 min

3

Bank on This

Julio has moved out of his house and Fred and Lamont decide to buy it and turn it into a boarding house and call it The Sanford Arms. To get enough money for the project, Fred and Lamont go down to the bank to apply for a loan but soon find themselves hostages in a bank robbery attempt.

30 min

4

The Sanford Arms

Julio's house has been transformed into Fred and Lamont's boarding house called The Sanford Arms. Now they've come to the task of finding some boarders and soon find themselves bombarded with an endless supply of crazies, including a hooker, an ex-con, a hippie, a newlywed couple, and Hoppy's eccentric mother.

30 min

5

Steinberg and Son

Fred and Lamont are appalled when they see a sitcom, Steinberg and Son which amazing seems to be modeled on the life of Fred and Lamont. Fred and Lamont decide to check it out themselves and go to a taping of an episode and are shocked to see the similarites. In fact, the only thing different from the sitcom and Fred and Lamont's lives are the names of the characters and the fact that the cast is white. Lamont and Fred hire a lawyer and prepare a million dollar lawsuit againt the producers.

30 min

6

Brother, Can You Spare an Act?

Fred's sister, Frances and her white husband, Rodney have been having some hard times and they stop by to ask Fred if they could stay with him for awhile. Meanwhile, problems at the Sanford Arms has Fred considering giving Rodney a job as general manager. But Rodney may not accept it since he's scheduled to perform in an act at a nightclub.

30 min

7

Della, Della, Della

The Sanford home has become a campaign headquarters for the candidate Bob Williams and Fred wants nothing to do with it. However, once Fred discovers, Della Reese is working on the campaign of Williams' opponent, he goes all out for it even thought he's not for the candidate.

30 min

8

Donna Pops the Question

Donna receives a marriage proposal from another man and she decides to base her answer on whether or not Fred is ever going to ask her. Fred must make the choice now as to whether or not he is going to marry Donna. This leads Fred into turmoil and leads him to ask Elizabeth a heart felt question on whether or not she would object to him remarrying.

30 min

9

My Fair Esther

Lamont is a judge for the Miss Watts Business Wife and the winner of the pageant wins $1,000. Fred quickly makes it clear that he will do anything to get his hands on the money. He even agrees to transform Aunt Esther into an elegant beauty as part of a bet he has with her husband, Woody.

30 min

10

Sanford and Rising Son

Lamont's friend, Ah Chew cooks dinner for the Sanfords one evening and a wary Fred is quite impressed at how good the food is. This leads Fred and Ah Chew to start a takeout business together with the headquarters in the Sanford home. Fred soon realizes that they should expand the business and turn the house into a Japanese restaurant.

30 min

11

The Olympics

Saturday night sees Fred heading over to Donna's for a date that he didn't tell her about before hand. Once he arrives, he discovers Donna already has a date with a man who's won the decathlon every year in the Senior Olympics. Wanting to outdo him, Fred decides to compete in the Olympics this year and beat his romantic competition.

30 min

12

Ebenezer Sanford

Fred is a Scrooge-like miser during the Christmas season and his friends try to get him to join into the Christmas spirit, but he rejects the attempts. After being accused of a being a Scrooge, Fred falls asleep and dreams up "A Christmas Carol." Now it is up to the spirits to take on the challenge that his friends failed at.

30 min

13

The Oddfather

Fred lands in the hospital after an accident in which Fred accidentally witnesses a murder attempt. With a guarded hospital room, Fred becomes suspicious of everyone since the real criminal wants him killed. However, Fred is after the reward money he'll get if he testifies despite putting his life on the line.

30 min

14

Can You Chop This?

Lamont has been saving for acting school and has just enough money. Meanwhile, Fred sees a commercial for a get rich quick scheme and decides to give it a try. Thus, he invests Lamont's money in a supply of Whopper Choppers that he must try to sell. However, selling them is the hard part.

30 min

15

Greatest Show in Watts

A tenant at The Sanford Arms doesn't have enough money for the rent so he leaves Fred his pet elephant as collateral. Fred quickly finds a city official on his back for keeping an elephant in the neighborhood and he quickly comes up with an idea to make some money: put on a mini-circus. Bubba plays a clown, Esther a fire-eater, and Lamont a weight lifter.

30 min

16

Fred Sanford Has a Baby

Lamont leaves town with Rollo to go on a fishing trip but before he goes, he makes a bet with Fred. He is sure Fred won't make money during the week he is gone. Fred sets to prove him wrong by renting out Lamont's room. Fred finds himself in a bind when the pregnant girl he boarded goes into labor.

30 min

17

The TV Addict

Fred has been watching way too much television and Lamont suggests that he go out and get some exercise. Fred scoffs and refuses which leads to an argument which results in the television breaking. Lamont refuses to get it fixed until Fred agrees to start exercising. Lamont later brings in a doctor to hypnotize Fred to help him get over his television addiction.

30 min

18

Lamont in Love

Lamont has been seeing Janet for quite awhile and Lamont thinks he's in love. But he doesn't know too much about her and hasn't wanted to push her into telling him. Thus, Fred decides to find out exactly what she's hiding and he goes undercover with Aunt Esther to dig up the dirt.

30 min

19

The Escorts

In another get rich quick scheme, Fred decides to go down to an escort service with a friend of his and try to apply as escorts. Flatly rejected, Fred decides to open his own escort service complete with false advertising which results in Fred having to escort three ladies in one night.

30 min

20

The Engagement Man Always Rings Twice

Lamont has been seeing Janet for some time now and he has decided to pop the question. Lamont tells Fred of his plans and he is happy for him. Unfortunately, Fred also discovers after the wedding that the couple does not want to live with Fred.

30 min

21

The Director

Lamont has gotten a part in a community play and has great news, George Foreman has agreed to appear in it as well. Dying to meet the boxer, Fred intrudes on the rehearsals and drives the director up the wall, which leads him to quit. This is when Fred steps in as director and makes some immediate changes.

30 min

22

A Pain in the Neck

Fred is being honored with the Watts Businessman-of-the-Year Award and he's all hyped up about accepting it. However, an unexpected turn of events lands Fred with a serious back problem and takes up means to try to get rid of it, including, acupuncture, meditation and a corset.

30 min

23

Sergeant Gork

While Fred is babysitting his soon-to-be grandson, Roger helps a customer and sells him some junk including three medals. After Fred learns of Roger's sale he envisions a story about just how he got those medals. Fred's story has him as a Patton like character fighting during World War II and battling espionage.

30 min

24

Camping Trip

Fred and Lamont go on a camping trip in the wilderness but Fred quickly gets sick of the great outdoors and demands that they return home. However, they quickly realize that they are stranded when the truck refuses to start. This leads father and son to reminisce about times they have spent together. Fred and Lamont recall scenes from previous episodes including: My Kingdom for a Horse, Earthquake II and The Engagement Man Always Rings Twice

30 min