Laverne & Shirley Season 3, Episode 13: The Mortician

Airport '59

Laverne & Shirley go on their first plane trip and end up flying it when their pilot faints at the controls.

Tag Team Wrestling

Laverne starts off by telling Shirley how a driver had cut her off so she had shouted back to her that she was a 'banana face'. Later on, Laverne's big tag team partner from the brewery can't compete due to injury and Shirley has to take her place. Once in the ring, they discover that the professional wrestlers their facing are the ladies Laverne insulted that morning and the match is now on for real.

The Pact

Laverne and Shirley get into a huge fight after Shirley's new boyfriend asks Laverne out. The girls agree to make a pact swearing never to let a guy come between them again.

Robot Lawsuit

A giant robot attacks Laverne in a toy store this leads her to sue the toy company.

Laverne's Arranged Marriage

Laverne's father arranges a marriage for her to a wealthy cheese manufacturer who happens to be in the mob.

Cruise (1)

Shirley is waiting anxiously for Laverne to come back from the bank with their savings for their cruise holiday that they have been planning on for weeks. When Laverne comes in, she tells Shirley that they have $50 less than they thought, and now they're not going to be able to take the cruise as they only have two days until the ship sets sail. The girls get depressed until Laverne says that they shouldn't give up hope, that they still have two days left and that they'll think of something to come up with the money. The girls go see Carmine who gets them a job at J&J Shoes. Carmine tells the owner he'll bring all his tap dance students over to his store to buy their shoes if he hires Laverne and Shirley for the weekend. The guy hires the girls and tells them to go and get changed into their uniforms. When we see Laverne and Shirley again, Shirley is dressed as Jack and Laverne is dressed as Jill from the nursery rhyme. The store owner tells them they'll get $2 for every pair of shoes

Cruise (2)

Lenny and Squiggy begs Laverne and Shirley not to squeal on them. Shirley succumbs to their pitiful begging faces and warns them that if they're caught they don't know them, they've never known them etc.. Next Laverne is seen feeling sickly as she's battling with sea-sickness while trying to chat up the sailors. The boys are pretending to be part of the band and are scrounging bits of food here and there, when Ensign Benson walks by. The boys jump over the rail and are holding on with their fingertips. They're going to get away with it until a sailor empties the mess hall garbage over the side on top of them. Now the boys are caught and are air-lifted via helicopter back to Milwaukee harbor. The girls come clean about helping the boys, however Shirley has caught the eye of Ensign Gary Benson and they get let off. We see Laverne hooting it up in the sailor's mess, spinning the anchor and kissing the sailors while Shirley is out gazing across the ocean and into the stars with Ensign B

Laverne and Shirley Meet Fabian

Fabian's concert is sold out, but the girls still want to see him. The girls bet Rosie that they can not only meet Fabian but that they will have their pictures taken with him. Rosie agrees to the bet, and says that if she should lose she'll clean the girls flat with her toothbrush. Needless to say, Rosie is soon scrubbing the floors, toothbrush and all.

The Stakeout

Carmine is suspected of being a counterfeiter, so the F.B.I. use Laverne and Shirley's flat as a stakeout to catch him in the act.

Shirley's Operation

The gang is rehearsing the play ""Alice In Wonderland"" so they're all in costume: Shirley is Alice, Laverne is the Mad Hatter, Lenny and Squiggy are Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee. Shirley faints on the couch and is taken to hospital where it is discovered that her appendix is about to burst. Fearful that she is going to lose her hair for the operation, Shirley hides while everyone else tries to find her before her appendix bursts.

Take My Plants, Please

The girls get laid off so they go to work for themselves selling flowers and plants door to door.

30 min

New Years Eve 1959

It is New Years Eve and Laverne is dumped by her date and Shirley has a cold. Squiggy does his human fly stunt as the countdown to the new year, 1960, arrives.

The Horse Show

Shirley rescues a horse from a glue factory and put it in her bedroom. The girls try to find a new home for Buttercup before she's turned into glue. In the end it's Lenny and Squiggy who save the day by finding a farm with a nice pasture who's willing to let the horse live out the remainder of its days in contentment.

The Slow Child

When Mrs. Babish's mentally slow daughter, Amy, comes to visit, a moving relationship soon develops between her and Lenny - despite the fact that almost everyone believes Lenny just wants to take advantage of ""the slow child"". But to everyone's amazement, Lenny really comes through as a thoughtful, sensitive and caring person toward Amy.

The Second (Almost) Annual Shotz Talent Show

Mr. Shotz wants the girls to find a spot in the talent show for his no-talent nephew.

The Dentist

Laverne has a chipped tooth and goes to Shirley's dental student cousin Mikey. Laverne, as a favor to Shirley, allows Shirley's dentist cousin to fix her tooth. The only problem is he's a lousy dentist and Laverne can't let on that he's doing a terrible job as Shirley's cousin's professor is watching every move he makes.

Bus Stop

The girls take a bus to a distant city to visit two medical students who leave them stranded.

The Driving Test

The show starts with Laverne and Shirley chatting away in the Shotz brewery canteen when Lenny and Squiggy come in. Upon opening their pay checks, Squiggy discovers a letter from Max Shotz himself. He reads it aloud and the gang discovers that Squiggy failed his written driving test and he must retake it this Saturday and pass or lose his truck driver's licence and his job. We next see Laverne and Shirley spring cleaning their flat, Shirley is pouring soapy water on the floor while singing ""Twist Again"" as Laverne with sponges on her feet does the twist to clean the floor. Lenny comes in all upset and asking the girls if they'll help him help Squiggy to pass his test as Squiggy is getting very depressed. The girls reluctantly agree as if they don't, Lenny says he'll have to move in with them as he won't be able to afford the rent on his own. Laverne is asking Squiggy some highway code questions in which his answer is ""Here chicky, chicky, chicky"". After a few minutes of this, Laverne j

The Obstacle Course

The policeman in charge of testing the recruits thinks Shirley is too puny and weak to do the assault course, so Laverne helps Shirley train to prove him wrong. Laverne's policeman boyfriend is getting women volunteers together to form L.A.M.P. (Ladies' Auxiliary Milwaukee Police). Laverne is naturally selected, but then Shirley wants to try it too. Laverne tries to dissuade her but ends up agreeing as long as Shirley doesn't quit. When Shirley gets there, no sooner does she try the obstacle course than she fails at the first obstacle which happens to be a pool of water. Shirley runs out of the room soaking wet. Laverne finds Shirley at the Pizzabowl in the ladies room, and Shirley now wants to quit. Laverne calls Shirley a cream puff and storms out. Back at the apartment, Shirley apologizes and says she'll keep at it if Laverne will help her become more athletic. Laverne then trains Shirley in all the obstacle course events until the day of the test, Shirley manages all the obstacles

The Debutante Ball

Laverne and Lenny go to a debutantes' ball where Lenny learns he is 89th in line for the Polish throne.

2001: A Comedy Odyssey

Laverne dreams she and Shirley are in their 80's still living together and still single. Laverne and Shirley are old and single but so are Lenny and Squiggy which leads to them going to marry each other finally so they can have some fun.

The Dance Studio

The girls try and help Carmine get financing so that he can open his own dance studio. Of course, they end up ruining it for Carmine so in the end Frank and Edna lend him the money that the banks won't.

Breaking Up and Making Up

Laverne and Shirley try to get Frank and Edna back together after they break up when Edna's ex-husband comes to town.