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Distractible (2021)
Season 4 • Episode 84 • Mark of Theseus
Distractible Season 4, Episode 84: Mark of Theseus
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Episodes
101 episodes
This Is Our Roman Empire
AI Will Smith, Helldivers 2, and listening to your heart. That's what Distractible is really all about.
62 min
It's Okay, We're Engineers
This episode has something for everyone: TIkTok miners, Warhammer PowerWashing, and boat sex.
46 min
Games Are Getting Older
Time makes you bolder, video games get older, and the guys are getting older too.
59 min
We Are The Main Character
Are we living in a simulation? The dudes venture down the rabbit hole to finally discover the truth... maybe.
70 min
Tear Down These Balls
In a world of surge pricing, beanie babies, Kit-Kats, and sperm, Distractible always prospers.
56 min
Pants
Mark is running out of pants, so Bob and Wade are his only hope.
50 min
How To Milk Your Dinosaur
Open the door, get on the floor, everybody milk your dinosaur.
47 min
Power
With great power, comes great Distractibility.
55 min
Old Is Awesome
It's getting harder to recognize the guys through all that gray hair and wrinkles.
51 min
No Topic Left Beef
Coming to an IMAX theater near you: Revenge of the Naked Licking VTuber Professors.
54 min
Wrong Answers Only
Mark forces Bob and Wade at knife point to go against their common sense.
53 min
Do You Fear Death-uh?
Wade, Bob, and Mark talk all things deadly and what it means to live life to the fullest.
65 min
The Best Episode Of Distractible Anyone Has Seen Or Heard Ever
We've finally done it. We've created the perfect Distractible episode that will surely bring this podcast to #1 across the universe.
55 min
Cake Or AI?
Technologically impaired Wade guesses which cursed images are real, and which are artificially made.
47 min
Cake Or AI Too
Still technologically impaired Wade guesses which random descriptions are real vs artificially made.
43 min
Chugging Hot Tub Water
Grab your mugs filled with covid water and maple syrup, because Wade has got a doozy of a story for you.
65 min
Uplifting Children's Stories
Once upon a time, in the land where podcasts remain, Mark and Wade write very strange stories for Bob's son James.
59 min
The Cursed Man
Is Wade cursed? Probably. Time to do something about it.
61 min
Bad Or Worse
What could be worse than not listening to Distractible? Trick question, there is nothing worse.
80 min
At Least 20 Questions
Bob challenges Wade and Mark to a relaxing (not at all rage inducing) game of 20 Questions.
62 min
20 More Questions (At Least)
Time to give Bob a taste of his own medicine, and drive Mark even more towards insanity, with another round of 20 Questions!
57 min
Animal Noises
Old Mark-plier had a farm. E.
49 min
There Is No Excuse
There is no excuse for not listening to Distractible. Except maybe when driving...
47 min
It's Over, It's Done
Wade honors your mom, Bob gets harassed by a spider, and Mark has a very special announcement.
53 min
1000 Hour Energy
Mark doesn't want to live forever, he just wants to see how much living his body can take.
49 min
World Wade Supremacy
THEY'RE TRYING TO STOP US! TAKE THIS EPISODE, STUDY IT'S CONTENT, AND PROTECT IT AT ALL COSTS! DO IT NOW, BEFORE IT'S TOO LA- *offline*
37 min
Naming 100 Women
100 women vs the 3 dudes. Also Mark can't spell.
42 min
My Body Betrayed Me
Wade attempts to lower the self esteems of Mark and Bob.
56 min
Two Truths And A Lie
Must... have... a peaceful... and not... rage filled... game episode!
59 min
Shotgun Roulette
So it's come to this... all the drama, the chapstick, the baldness. Now, it's just Wade, Bob, Mark, and a gun.
52 min
The Inaugural Boat Episode
Captain Mark, First Mate Bob, and Wade board the S.S. Distractible to sail the seven seas in search of the ultimate treasure: new laws for the constitution.
57 min
We Should Buy A Movie Theater!
Buckle up, grab your popcorn, and call the best lawyer you know. Because it's time for a Distractible Road Trip to the movies!
53 min
The Room Where It Happened
The guys finally return back to the place where it all began. (With special guest star: Momiplier)
55 min
We Might Have Started The Fire
Wade desperately seeks help from the guys to update Billy Joel's classic hit.
75 min
20 Easy Questions
Bob successfully destroys Mark and Wade's egos with trivia.
62 min
It's Mark's Birthday (Part 2)
Happy Birthday Mark! To celebrate, we made some non-artificially dyed punch that you can soak up with your balls!
69 min
Best Of Times, Worst Of Times
The guys have seen a lot of good and bad things in their time. Especially Wade, since he’s such an ancient being.
68 min
Saving You Money
Because the only money you should be spending is at distractiblestore.com
55 min
The Dumb Of Humanity
I stupid. You stupid. He/she/me, stupid.
58 min
Sorry For My Singing
Bob, Mark, and Wade make sweet sweet music with each other.
63 min
Red 40, Set Hut!
Red red dye, goes to Mark's head.
58 min
A Special Message For Our Listeners
Wade, Mark, and Bob embark on a mission to design the perfect mascot for Distractible.
75 min
Glauber Salt
This salty Distractible episode uses cookies, which may or may not be made by secretive elves.
51 min
Theater Of The Mind
The inner machinations of Wade's mind is an enigma...
51 min
Tongue Twisters
Distracted Dudes Look Dumb Doing Daunting Dictions.
55 min
Worm Love
Would you still love Distractible if it was a worm?
55 min
The Last Great Debate
Bob, Wade, and Mark reveal themselves as the master debaters they really are.
59 min
Wade's Secret Words (Part 2)
Shhh! There's a new, secret twist to this sequel of the classic Distractible episode.
55 min
Big Or Small (Part 2)
The question stills needs answering, and the dudes are here to finally solve it...again: Big or Small?
60 min
Get More Stupider
Stupidity isn't a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.
58 min
On Success
Bob, Mark, and Wade reflect on the little victories and major milestones they've had over the years.
65 min
The Dumb Of Introverts
Please don't talk to us, talk to Wade instead. He's the extrovert.
63 min
Mark's Secret Words
Step aside Wade, it's time for Mark to show us all how to properly do "Secret Words." Maybe...
62 min
We Won't Get Banned For This (NSFW)
(WARNING: NSFW) Distractible: Bridging the gap between porn and podcasts since 2024.
50 min
Conspiracy. CHANGE!
Are conspiracy theories a game to you?! Good, because that's exaclty what Mark has turned them into.
51 min
Bob's Secret Words
Step aside Wade and Mark, it's time for Bob to show us all how to properly do "Secret Words"... again...
44 min
Best Of The Old Ads (Part One)
After years of excruciating research and archaeological breakthroughs, the long lost Distractible ad reads have finally being unearthed!
43 min
Talent
Wade shines the spotlight on Bob and Mark to showcase their hidden talents and their envy of other people's talent.
51 min
WikiHow About Now?
Time to crack open the ole Distractopedia and see if Bob, Mark, and Wade can match the correct (and severely cursed) WikiHow image to it's title.
58 min
Nah, I'd Win
It's a mouse... it's a fly... it's a salmon... no! It's Wade and Bob using their animal instincts to defeat predators in Mark's game.
53 min
The Episode You Can Taste
This episode will leave a good, a bad, and perhaps a poo milk taste in your mouth.
65 min
All Nighters
We learn what keeps Mark, Bob, and Wade up at night.
63 min
The Most Cursed Moments
With the spookiest of seasons approaching, there's no better way to pregame than by reflecting on some of the most horrifying moments to ever occur in Distractible history.
66 min
What Song Do You See?
Mark and Wade press shuffle on Bob's playlist and let their minds go on a journey.
60 min
Try New Things
The dude's reminisce about the good, the bad, and straight up weird experiences they've had with trying new things.
64 min
Get More Stupider (Part 2)
"Looks like stupid is back on the menu, boys!"
55 min
Parlor Games
It's all fun and games until we bring out the sweaty lawyers and Wade's camera cuts out. NOTE: This episode was recorded months prior, but is being released now to work with the host schedule.
49 min
QUITTER!
You know what they say: Quit while you're a bald head.
60 min
Two Sentence Horror Stories
Boo Bob, Wicked Wade, and Mark put their years of spoopy gaming experience to the test in this ghastly challenge.
53 min
More Villain Awards
Is the Gingerdead Man's derisiveness and Lady Dimitrescu hypnosis over Mark powerful enough to earn them the highest award Wade can give?
60 min
Never Hug Your Teacher
Mark, Wade, and Bob have a good ole fashioned cringe measuring contest.
63 min
Definitely Real Things
The guys are spreading the good word in Bob's new game for Mark and Wade.
51 min
Wadey's Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)
Phiwosopher Wade has weturned with an even warger question to expwore: Do we have fwee will?
60 min
Edutainment!
Professor Mark gives students Bob and Wade the hefty assignment to find the most entertaining and educational content before dismissal.
61 min
Get Mad Libs
Wade is (adjective) to be (verb)ing Mark and Bob the challenge to (verb) in this new (noun) all about Mad Libs.
49 min
Wade Is Sopping
Bob's word games always get us dripping with excitement.
44 min
The Election Episode
Distractible: America's #1 trusted news source brings you all of the exclusive and unbiased coverage you need for the 2024 presidential election. Pig orgasms.
56 min
Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)
Never interrupt a pig during his 30 minute orgasm. NEVER.
61 min
Florida or No Florida?
Bob, Mark and Wade find out if what happens in Florida stays in Florida.
56 min
Wade For President
Together, we can Make America Wade Again!
69 min
Top 10 Things
Mark, Wade, and the Mysterious Ghost of Muyskerm climb the ranks by guessing the "Top Ten Things" in Bob's categories.
61 min
Bob's Fridge (Part 2)
There are two certainties in life: Mark will ALWAYS have obsessions, and Bob will NEVER be able to own a decent fridge.
64 min
The Cost Is Correct
If you're having extreme tech issues or dropping your used prophylactics in restaurants… COME ON DOWNNN!!! You’re the next contestant on “The Cost Is Correct!”
53 min
Mark of Theseus
Have you heard of the Mark of Theseus?
56 min
What's Wrong With Video Games?
Forget about video games, Mark bought a kilogram of WHAT?!?!
61 min
[Insert Topic Here]
[Insert description about Mark not having an episode idea here.]
64 min
Merry Christmas, Bob!
Oh, by gosh, by golly! It's time for buying gifts for Bobby.
67 min
New Year, Old Us
Three! Two! One! We Failed! Oh, and happy new year I guess...
63 min
Does Order Matters?
New additions to the "Distractible Trigger Kit": a sandwich, a bowl of cereal, and un-torn wrapping paper.
60 min
Time and Stuff
It's always the right time for Distractible. Except maybe while driving.
52 min
The Distractible Paradox
There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to listeners or viewers. It is a dimension as vast as Mark's hyper-fixations, and lies between the surface of Wade's head and the summit of Bob's knowledge of phone cases. This is the dimension of distraction. It is an episode which we call... The Distractible Paradox.
52 min
Where Am I?!
Pilot Captain Wade takes Mark and Bob on a flight across the country to gaze down upon the oddly named towns of America. And Russia. And Ancient Greece. Wait...
55 min
Knives, Fire, and Pickup Trucks
As the podcast returns: Mark recounts his evacuation, Wade still doesn't have a car, and Bob is... the host.
65 min
There's An Easter Egg At 43:51
Better keep your eyes open, bidets spraying, and reusable toilet paper wiping for this unbelievable easter egg.
72 min
Order Matters Too
Welcome to the Distractible Cafe! Enjoy a nice hot cup of Mark's Finger Espresso or Wade's Frog Coffee, while relaxing in a chair that was assembled the wrong order by Bob.
62 min
More Broken News
Wade gets himself canceled.
52 min
Big Dog Energy
No animals were harmed in the making of this episode. Mostly because Mark doesn't know how to use a gun.
65 min
Acronyms, But Better
Dudes Innovatively Spell The Right Acronyms Correctly Tonight (Nailed it.)
58 min
WordPad Broke
All of Wade's beautiful ideas... gone. Oh well, at least we still have kinky clowns, rooftop ninjas, and extra powerful bidets.
62 min
Mark Prepared For This
Cloacas, buttholes, and toxic gas. That can only mean one thing... Mark's hosting!
62 min
The Council of Distractible (Part 2)
The three founding fathers gather once again to re-evaluate the sacred text that is the "Distractible Constitution."
55 min