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Distractible (2021)
Season 5 • Episode 42 • I See Two Paths
Distractible Season 5, Episode 42: I See Two Paths
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Episodes
110 episodes
Mark's One Man Show
Mark's life flashes before his very eyes, at the whim of Bob and Wade.
58 min
When Was That Again?
When is this? Where am I? Who's asking me all these trivia questions? Why is that man putting a condom on a bullet? And why is that other man... BALD?!
65 min
Who Want Million?
I want million, you want million, we all want million! (Celebrity guest appearances by Bob's Dad and Benjamin Franklin.)
70 min
Right In The Sauce Box
Things are gettin' real saucy between Wade, Bob, Mark, George & Martha Washington, skating flies, briefcase puppies, and a whole lot of ketchup.
59 min
Hide The Penny
For the price of one penny, you could have all the toy trains, crusty socks, and dead bodies imaginable!
74 min
September 10th
Keep your hands, arms, feet, Pokémon and Blockbuster cards inside Mark's time machine at all times. And remember, every action has an equal and opposite distraction.
75 min
Our Shirts Are Out
A moist bear and a hot fox, both with soapy eyes, walk into a bar in Australia. One orders a "Kadoova", the other orders a "Chump." And let me tell ya, that bartender got the greatest e****ion you've ever seen in your entire life.
59 min
We've Never Done This Before
Look at my ice! It's time for some good ol' fashioned icebreakers with Bob!
59 min
The Best, The Worst
For better or for worse, this episode is about the best and the worst.
70 min
Illegal Advice Too
This episode of Distractible pleads the fifth. Any further information will require the presence of a lawyer. Or just get Bob or Wade, that should be good enough.
60 min
Faster or Slower?
Whether you like it fast or slow, Distractible is here to satisfy.
77 min
Animal Noises Too
This episode is brought to you by Walmart Subscriptions. Groceries and essentials, delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart. Old Mark-plier had another farm. E.
57 min
Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati
The dudes are bringing it back home with this one.
71 min
Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)
WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD, large quantities of beans and hyperventilation.
65 min
Slice of Life
The Distractible Time Machine™ is still running, and this time Wade is in the driver's seat.
70 min
Even More Broken News
The internet's most reliable news source is back, but maybe not better than ever.
56 min
Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes
Wade may have screwed up, but at least he's got the voice of an absolute angel.
61 min
The Perfecter Crime
Orange Is The New Distract.
70 min
Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk
The greatest public domain story ever told finally comes to the big screen.
66 min
The Even More Perfecter Crime
Markiplier presents, "A Heist with Bob & Wade."
92 min
Weird (Part 4)
Can Wade sneak his oozing and thronging weirdness past Mark and Bob?
72 min
Who Is Us?
All of the Distractible crossovers you've dreamt off, jam-packed into one episode!
70 min
idk, some "Q"s
W asks B & M some grade A "Q"s.
68 min
Three Word Sales Pitch
Just because we don't have merch right now, doesn't mean we still can't try to sell you stuff!
63 min
Mark's Big Dumb Word Game
Mark wreaks revenge and havoc on Bob and Wade for all those definitely, totally not deserved losses.
63 min
A Disgusting Episode
Well, that was gross...
64 min
Don't Get Me Started
Is Mark's masochism, Bob's parental instinct, and Wade's Scottish accent enough to take down 100 gorillas? And we're only getting started...
68 min
Peekaboo!
Chef Wade is back in the kitchen serving up some more hot and steamy euphemisms, with a side of red onions and corn off the cob.
56 min
We Hate These States
The Yankee Doodle Daddies decide to do some long needed gerrymandering.
72 min
Bob's Small, Even Dumber Word Game
The guys play a word game so dumb, even a mechanic fixing Wade's plumbing could do it.
64 min
Somehow, Even More Broken News
The number one trusted news source for pregnant people, meat puppets, and parrots is back!
63 min
Sometimes We Just Chat
What's better than this? Guys being dudes.
66 min
They've Gone Too Far!
If the tech ain't broke, don't fix it. Unless you're Wade, in which case everything is broken.
67 min
Nah, I'd Win (Part 4)
Everyone's favorite role-playing game just got a whole lot more bald.
68 min
Sisyphean (Sis-uh-fee-uhn)
Bob and Wade must carry the weight of Mark's game on their shoulders.
84 min
Frog Sticks!
What do frogs, cluckin', Franz Ferdinand, and loud moans all have in common? Just ask Wade...
68 min
20 "Simple" Questions
It's been quite some time since Bob last decided torture Mark and Wade with trivia. Let's fix that right now.
49 min
Gaming News
Three "expert" gamers share their "expertise" on the past, present, and future of the gaming world.
69 min
I Farted During This Episode
How well do the guys know their own show? Also, do you smell something...
58 min
Fourth of Poo-ly
What's more American than releasing a 4th of July special 3 days after the 4th of July?
55 min
I Miss The Old Distractible
I liked Distractible before it was cool.
61 min
I See Two Paths
Look no further, you've come to the right place to gain sacred knowledge about crows, plants, geese, and zombies.
67 min
Don't Google Pin Buttock
"Bard" Bob doth take Wadeiam Shakespeare and Markbeth out for a night at the theatre.
75 min
Wade Lied To Us
Can we ever really trust Wade though? Anyone with that amount of shine is sure to have his secrets.
73 min
I Miss The Old Distractible (Part 2)
Back in my day, it used to cost only five cents to watch Mark, Bob, and Wade talk about maggots, beavers, and feces.
57 min
Oregon Trail
3 men, one trail, and a whole lot of dysentery and grandfather clocks.
101 min
Devil's Advocate (Part 2)
It's time for the devil once again to come collect what's owed to him: a strong argument.
63 min
Fourth of Poo-gust
The guys pop a squat and push out some topics for this steaming hot August episode.
63 min
Record Setting Guessing
Distractible has officially set the record for World's Best Dad, World's Baldest, and World's Shortest.
67 min
Size Matters
Mark puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test to see how they can make famous quotes.
51 min
Hot Takes, Cold Truths
Chef Wade Ramsay orders competitors Mark and Bob to the kitchen to cook up some cold-cut truths and sizzlin' hot takes.
58 min
Draw or Die
Mark challenges Bob and Wade to draw for their lives in this Pictionary style game.
49 min
Hinged or Unhinged
No more monkey-ing around, we have bigger fish to fry... then place in the restaurant bathroom.
79 min
Legend of The Monkey's Paw
The curse of the monkey themed episodes continues to linger as Wade gives Mark and Bob some profound choices to make.
65 min
Hide The Penny (Part 2)
You know it's time to search for pennies when Mark strips down and Wade starts speaking French.
68 min
Drama Alarm
The Distractible hosts are ready to take down the other chart-topping podcasts and reclaim their rightful position to number one.
64 min
Legend of The Monkey's Paw (Part 2)
Another unsolved mystery that started with $10,000 and ended in a knife fight.
58 min
What The Hell Is That?
Bob shares his big diction energy with Mark and Wade in his obscure word guessing game.
65 min
Anything Goes (Part 2)
Mark returns from his weekly hospital trip to warn us all about the dangers of eating vegetables.
66 min
Let's Get Deep
Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics.
81 min
Bob's One Man Show
Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics.
49 min
For Folk's Sake
The guys prove that being an adult doesn't keep spoopy characters from attacking if you're naughty.
57 min
Shame, Shame, Shame
A walk of atonement is in order for the long list of people that Mark, Bob, and Wade have deemed the most shameful.
63 min
The Pee Covered Episode
The boys are finally back together again in Ohio, ready to let their streams of consciousness flow out in person. And from the looks of their streams, one of the guys is definitely allergic to Skyline, and another has a severe foot injury.
40 min
Wade Has An Interest
What happens on the Distracti-couch, stays on the Distracti-couch.
57 min
A Harrowing Journey
Before Wade hosts a game of "Would You Rather," Mark proves that the journey from Ohio isn't always a happy one.
61 min
Three Sentence Horror Stories
Make sure you got the scary tape handy, because you'll need to keep your hairs from standing after this spoopy episode.
48 min
In This Game... Only Letters, Friends
A Distractible episode is worth a thousand words.
65 min
The Cursed Episode
Wade continues to keep the spoopy season in gear by hosting a discussion about bald-chilling curses and legends.
65 min
The Oxford 3000
Bob returns with another word game that is guaranteed to absolutely destroy Mark and Wade's egos.
73 min
Nah, I'd Lose
Not all battles are worth winning.
64 min
World Record (Today)
Hiii...
54 min
Viewer Discretion Is Advised
View and listen with caution, because no amount of discretion is guaranteed to keep frog swallowing mouse nut babies at bay... especially tonight...
57 min
Bob's Top 5 (#2 Will Shock You!)
He's making a list, and checking it twice. He's gonna find out who's bald or lacks height.
49 min
Please Laugh
Listeners, you're responsible for this...
48 min
King of the Friend Zone
Having a midlife crisis? Don't worry, the guys will make it all go away...
47 min
Wade's/Bob's/Mandy's Word Game (Featuring Markiplier)
Step aside Bob, there's a shiny new word-smith in town.
52 min
Anything Goes (Part 3)
Alternate Title: "Wade Struggles For 45 Minutes."
50 min
Get More Faster
The Distracti-menu specials for tonight are PB & J sandwiches and boiled eggs. And wait until you see what's for dessert...
48 min
Will It Into Existence
Another year is almost at a close, but that doesn't mean that there isn't plenty of balding- I mean... BLESSINGS to acknowledge and short-uh... SURE things to look forward to in 2026.
56 min
Size Matters (Part 2)
The ultimate test of endurance returns as Mark once again puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test.
47 min
Squid Game (Even Too-er)
The cephalopod confab returns as the guys expound upon what childhood games they'd like to see in their own version of Squid Game.
43 min
Get Ready For A Lot of Ligolo
The guys alphabetically bring out the Christmas cheer with classic tales of elf prison breaks, fast food snowmen, gigantic Santas, and a whole lot of everyone's favorite character: Ligolo.
55 min
2026 Distractible Game Guide
New year, new games, same bald, same 'naise.
54 min
Make Wade Do It
Bob and Mark motivate Wade to start his 2026 New Year's resolutions.
56 min
Wade's One Man Show
The reviews are in, and critics are raving: "Finally! A star that out-shines the rest!" - The Minion Chronicle "If I said I didn't like it, that would be a bald-faced lie." - The Hairless Herald "I can't f**king see!" - Bob
40 min
Everybody Hates Dor
Mark's movie is almost out, Wade finds some time to relax, and Bob introduces his bouncing baby girl, Dor (but who tf cares about her.)
54 min
Snow Days
The guys bundle up for a trip down memory lane and share their (maybe) true stories from snow days.
52 min
Yeah, He'd Live
Your favorite Distractible game just got a whole lot more medical.
56 min
How Do You Pan?
The "Lost Boys" take a trip to Neverland to share the childhood things they'll never be too old for.
54 min
Mark's Big Dangerous Word Game
Is that the piercing sound of an explosion, or Mark trying to sing in falsetto? We'll never know... Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds.
53 min
Draw Or Die (Part 2)
Wade's not bald, he's just drawn that way. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds.
62 min
Fortunately, Unfortunately
Fortunately, Wade has a new improv game for Bob and Mark. Unfortunately, bald.
52 min
Bad Mood
The three angy boys discuss what turns each of them into grumpy-wumpy-wumpersons.
59 min
I'm a Doctor!
Don't your worry your precious head, just relax and let the good doctors do their jobs. *Gun Gary walks in*
53 min
Solar System Tier List
Who's that peeping back at you through your telescope? Is it Mupiter? The Death Star Boob? One can only wonder...
56 min
News Flash!
Bob and Wade go into the field to bring the hottest, slipperiest, and trippiest scoops to you.
57 min
How to ABCs
Professor Wade "Bald" Barnes quizzes students Mark and Bob on their knowledge of the alphabet.
53 min
The Smell You Can Lick
Bob tries to make sense of Mark and Wade's senses.
65 min
Friday the 13th
WARNING: For today only, avoid recording ADR, baking bread, solving math equations, and watching movies starring Will Smith.
50 min
Dicebreakers Too!
Bob brings back a classic Distractible game, dicier than ever.
59 min
Buy My Thing!
What happened to Mark at the Oscars, and what's that under Bob's shoe?
63 min
That Sounds Good!
What do book fairs, dentists, and summer camp have in common? Well, the bible says...
57 min
Oxford 3000 AND TOO
Bob decides to raise Mark and Wade's blood pressure, to test their already fragile health.
66 min
Anything Goes (Part 4)
Anything is on the table when the horny penguins and metal pipes come out to play.
66 min
Mark's One Man Show (Part 2)
Dear Penthouse Forum, I can't believe it happened to him.
63 min
That Sounds Bad!
Bob and Wade make everything terrible for Mark.
56 min
Reverse Charades
Quick, get flat!
56 min
America vs Europe
No perfectest crime? Well hey, everyone makes mistakes.
77 min
The Council Of Distractible (Part 3)
Hear ye, hear ye! The council of three declare new laws for thee!
71 min