Petticoat Junction Season 3, Episode 13: Uncle Joe Plays Post Office

1

Dear Minerva

Sam has added an advice column called Dear Minerva to the newspaper, and Sam is Minerva. Kate thinks that the column should be written by a woman. Sam convinces Kate to be Minerva as long as no one knows it's her. Kate has a hard time writing the column in the hotel without anyone finding out. The column becomes a big hit, but writing it and taking care of things at the hotel takes its toll on Kate. Sam gets a call from a large newspaper that wants to syndicate the Dear Minerva column. He writes a note about it to Kate. The girls intercept the note and, misunderstanding what Sam wrote, they believe Sam and Kate are in love. They write to Minerva and ask her advice. "Minerva" eases the girls concerns and announces that this is her last column.

25 min

2

The Baffling Raffle

Oliver Wendell Douglas and Lisa Douglas are staying overnight at the hotel. They are moving into their newly purchased farmhouse, the run down Haney place. When Joe finds out that Oliver is a lawyer, he wants to ask him how to get out of jury duty. Oliver inadvertently gives Joe an idea and Joe gets Kate to take his place. Joe finds out that he won a television set in a raffle, but he has to claim it by noon tomorrow. At first Joe can't find the ticket, then he remembers it's in the suitcase that Kate took to Pixley. As hard as he tries, Joe can't get a message to a sequestered Kate. Kate does come home in time, but something else prevents Joe from claiming his prize.

25 min

3

The Dog Turns Playboy

Betty Jo and Bobbie Jo and a group of friends are trying to plan a fund-raising stage production to buy some playground equipment for the kids. Because of casting problems, Betty Jo comes up with an idea: rewrite the play for an all canine cast with Dog in the lead. Lawyer Arthur Bronson arrives at the hotel. He informs them that a former guest of the hotel, Mr. Kroger, who has just passed away, has left $200 to Dog. Dog is generous to his friends, and wants to buy them things. But Dog is letting the money and fame go to his head. Dog learns the hard way that fame and wealth can be fleeting, and that keeping to commitments is more important.

25 min

4

The Good Luck Ring

Bobbie Jo is entering an upcoming spelling bee, but it may be a losing battle against stuck up but excellent speller Henrietta Watson. Cora Watson, Henrietta's equally stuck up mother, protests Sam's appointment as judge since she feels he will be biased in favor of Bobbie Jo. As such, Oliver Douglas, is appointed the new judge. Bobbie Jo doesn't have the confidence to win, until she finds a scarab ring. Now it seems she is flooded with good luck. Slowly, the family begins to believe in the power of the ring when they too get what they want when wearing it. Uncle Joe loses the ring and buys another one. After winning the spelling bee, Bobbie Jo realizes it wasn't because of the ring.

25 min

5

Joe Carson, General Contractor

Because Uncle Joe is supposed to paint the Hotel, he gets the idea that he can go into business as a general contractor. He finds out that the wealthy Douglases are looking for a contractor to help fix up the "Green Acres" farmhouse. He does get Mrs. Douglas to hire him. Although Joe knows nothing about construction work, he tries to juggle the hotel and the Douglas jobs. Joe also finds that he may be scheming rich, but cash poor. He needs to find some additional capital to get both jobs going. Uncle Joe's scheming affects Kate in unexpected ways, so she comes up with a plan to set Uncle Joe straight.

25 min

6

Bobbie Jo's Sorority

Bobbie Jo has been nominated for membership into Hooterville High's only sorority. She is worried as she knows many girls who were nominated but didn't pass the initiation. The head of the sorority, Henrietta Watson doesn't want Bobbie Jo in the sorority. She devises what she believes is an impossible initiation task for Bobbie Jo. Bobbie Jo must get a date with the school's star athlete, Stonewall Jackson, who seems only interested in sports and not girls. Bobbie Jo enlists Betty Jo to teach her some things about sports. Thanks to Betty Jo, Bobbie Jo gets the date and her membership. Bobbie Jo also has a way to get back at Henrietta for the difficult initiation task.

25 min

7

A Doctor in the House

Uncle Joe answers the ad of Dr. Mathew Bailey. Dr. Bailey is looking for office space in return for free medical service. Kate doesn't think it's a good idea, especially with everyone in Hooterville going to see Doc Stuart. But once the girls get a look at the young and handsome Dr. Bailey, there is no way they're going to let Kate let him get away. So they open up an office for Dr. Bailey adjacent to the hotel lobby. But Kate is right, there is no business for Dr. Bailey as many locals see him as too young and inexperienced. The girls and Uncle Joe go on a marketing spree to round up patients, to no avail. Doc Stuart unwittingly gives Kate an idea to boost Doc Bailey's clientèle. Kate's plan takes an unexpected turn. Elsie Baker appears as a townswoman.

25 min

8

Hooterville A-Go-Go

The Every Other Wednesday Afternoon Discussion Club, with its new member Lisa Douglas, is planning on holding a square dance as a high school benefit. The Bradley girls decide to try and get King Ring a Ding, the big rock 'n' roll star, to perform at the benefit instead. Who shows up unexpectedly at the hotel instead is Herbie Willits, who used to live in Hooterville and who Kate encouraged to become a singer. Kate wants Herbie to sing at the benefit. What Kate and girls don't realize is that Herbie is King Ring a Ding. When Herbie hears that no tickets have been sold mainly because he's the "headliner", he comes up with a plan. Uncle Joe has his own plan, not realizing what Herbie's plans actually are, and in the process almost ruins the benefit.

25 min

9

Hooterville Hurricane

Boxer Kid Dynamite is offering $100 to anyone who can stay in the ring with him for three rounds without going down. Uncle Joe is trying to find a fighter who he can train, while keeping the majority of the prize money as a training fee. He thinks he's found that person in Herman Crawley, the strong as an ox but not too bright plumber Kate hires. Joe sets up a makeshift boxing ring at the hotel to train Herman, which doesn't sit too well with Kate. When Joe meets Kid Dynamite and his brazen manager mother Mrs. Hogan, Joe thinks there's no way Herman can lose. So Joe makes a $500 versus the hotel side wager with Mrs. Hogan on the outcome. What Uncle Joe doesn't realize is that Herman has a particular weakness. Uncle Joe has to protect Herman's weakness and find out and exploit the Kid's weakness. Even though Herman prevails, the fight is not as profitable as it should have been.

25 min

10

Betty Jo Goes to New York

Mrs. Douglas asks an excited Betty Jo to accompany her on a week long trip to New York City as her guest. After an initial hesitation, Kate allows Betty Jo to go. When Betty Jo returns to Hooterville she's a changed person, putting on airs and believing country life is beneath her. Kate initially believes Mrs. Douglas is to blame for Betty Jo's new snooty attitude, but quickly realizes that she isn't. Kate does get some help from Mrs. Douglas for an upcoming visit by Gregory Tremayne, a young gentleman Betty Jo met in New York. Gregory's visit ultimately shows Betty Jo where her heart lies.

25 min

11

Bedloe's Successor

Homer Bedloe, arch-enemy of the Hooterville Cannonball, returns in abject disgrace and poverty to Hooterville Valley. He has been replaced by Wilbur Goodfellow, who supposedly is the exact opposite of Bedloe in every way. Bedloe is looking for somewhere to stay, at least for a little while. Goodfellow arrives to inspect the spur line and the Cannonball. After his inspection, Goodfellow plans to make major investments into the line. He plans to send the Cannonball in for a refit and to loan a new locomotive as a temporary replacement. Everyone is excited by all this news. After Kate goes to the cinema in Pixley, she discovers the whole thing is a scam and that Bedloe and Goodfellow are working together.

25 min

12

The Crowded Wedding Ring

One of Kate Bradley's old swains named Ralph Denton sends a telegram stating that he is coming by the hotel for a few days. Uncle Joe thinks Kate is acting just a little too nonchalantly, which means she still has feelings for him. Ralph shows up with his overbearing and busybody spinster sister, Mabel. The girls and Uncle Joe do whatever they can to preoccupy Mabel so that Ralph and Kate can have some romantic alone time together. But Joe's spending so much time with Mabel leads to an unintended marriage announcement.

25 min

13

Uncle Joe Plays Post Office

Joe insults Sam about the way he runs the post office, so Sam lets Joe take over. Joe decides to set up the post office at the hotel's reception desk. Kate tries to persuade Joe to give the post office back to Sam and for Sam to take it back. Joe tries to gather the equipment he needs to run the post office, even if it means confiscating what he needs in the name of the federal government. Customers treat the new post office like it was still in Drucker's Store, wanting to buy groceries. Things start falling apart around Joe and after the Government steps in, the post office is moved back to Sam's store.

25 min

14

What's a Trajectory?

It's been a month since there have been any guests at the hotel. But then a Mr. Reynolds checks in. To Kate and the girls, Mr. Reynolds seems like a nice, friendly man, but Uncle Joe doesn't trust him. Mr. Reynolds pays in cash and reserves the entire hotel so he won't be disturbed. Joe hears that the Benton Bank was recently robbed of $3,000 and he's certain Reynolds is the robber. Uncle Joe handcuffs Reynolds to the elevator. Betty Jo hears that the robber has been captured. But before Joe can apologize to Reynolds, he has mysteriously left.

25 min

15

The Butler Did It

Bobbie Jo and Betty Jo are entering contests where they are required to send in food can and box top labels. This leaves much of Kate's pantry left with unlabeled cans and boxes. Bobbie Jo manages to win the contest sponsored by Gibney's Old English Tomato Sauce, with first prize being a traditional English butler for one month. Unannounced, their new butler, Faversham, arrives on their doorstep. Kate tries, but she just can't get used to giving up control of the chores around the hotel. Uncle Joe turns the hotel into a bit of old London and puts an add in the paper. He also wants to organize a fox hunt, but things don't turn out as planned.

25 min

16

Better Never Than Late

Uncle Joe advertises to hotel guests Billie Jo's services as a stenographer. Mr. Norton, a salesman who wants to write a business letter to Frank Mortimer, hires her. Norton dictates a letter that is harsh and scathing as Mortimer reneged on an order. But Norton decides not to send the letter until he returns to the office. He learns when he returns to the office that Mortimer has come through with his large order and a promise for a future order. Norton can't find the letter. He returns to the Shady Rest to see if he left the letter there. They all learn that Uncle Joe found the letter and mailed it. To get the letter back, Kate has to battle Sam, an absent minded Floyd, Pixley postmaster Foley, and locksmith Tad Fiskee. Kate still can't get it back. But a good hearted Floyd may ultimately come to the rescue.

25 min

17

Betty Jo Catches the Bouquet

Gladys Knockleheimer and Bernie McKenzie are holding their wedding reception at the hotel. They are the fifth set of friends of Billie Jo's that have gotten married. Both Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo are excited by the idea of getting married, but Betty Jo is not interested. When Betty Jo catches Gladys' bouquet, she is terrified that she will be next to get married. Kate decides it's time to have a talk with her about the issue. Betty Jo misinterprets her mother's advice and starts going around and asking boys to marry her. Betty Jo then receives gifts from a secret admirer. Kate discovers it was Betty Jo sending gifts to herself because she didn't want to appear to have no one interested in her.

25 min

18

Billie Jo's Independence Day

Billie Jo wants to move out of the hotel and into her own apartment in Pixley. Kate repeatedly says no. Kate finally gives in, but she has to approve of the place and the landlord. She only agreed because she believes there is not an apartment to be found in Pixley. However, Billie Jo finds a place that meets Kate's standards. After a few days, Billie Jo says she loves her independence, even though all the comforts of home are not quite there. But not long after she becomes homesick and finds a way to come back.

25 min

19

Yogurt, Anyone?

High-schooler Betty Jo is on the verge of breaking up with her latest boyfriend Edward. He believes Betty Jo is intellectually immature. The problem is that she now has no date for Saturday night's basketball game. Betty Jo meets an older college boy named Chuck, who is visiting relatives in Hooterville. Chuck believes Betty Jo is an intellectual Emily Dickinson College girl, which she doesn't correct. In an effort to impress Chuck on their upcoming date, Betty Jo tries to be what she believes a college girl should be. But in the end, she finds she's better off with Edward. Meanwhile, Uncle Joe is collecting loose pieces of string to roll into one really big ball.

25 min

20

Only Boy in the Class

It's the start of the new semester at Hooterville High and there are seven new girls and one new boy enrolled. Bobbie Jo takes pity on the new boy, Walter Thorp, as he is the only boy in her home economics class. Bobbie Jo is attracted to the athletic Walter, and wants to make him feel welcome. She and Betty Jo try and get someone to switch classes with Walter, but they have no luck. There is an upcoming home ec class exam, which is to prepare a full dinner for one's imaginary spouse's imaginary boss in twenty minutes. Kate comes up with a way to help Walter get a passing grade.

25 min

21

The County Fair

The annual county fair is coming soon. Betty Jo picks Everett the pig for Hooterville High's cutest livestock contest. Bobbie Jo will be singing in the talent contest. Uncle Joe hopes to win all the prizes at the baseball throwing booth. Although she wasn't going to enter the cake baking contest again, Kate reconsiders. It seems that Everett only perks up when Bobbie Jo is singing. At the fair, they learn that the livestock contest and the talent contest will be at the same time. Betty Jo figures out how Bobbie Jo can be in two places at the same time. Betty Jo and Bobbie Jo both win their contests, but Uncle Joe manages to ruin it for Kate.

25 min

22

Jury at the Shady Rest

An accident at the county courthouse has blown off the roof of the building. Uncle Joe gets the jury of the current case sequestered at the Shady Rest. But things don't run as smoothly as Joe figured. They have to figure out sleeping assignments for the shortage of rooms. It also seems as though the gluttonous jurors refuse to reach a verdict because they like Kate Bradley's food so much. Then a baby in the hotel complicates things further. Some of the jurors animals invade the hotel. With the Judges help, Kate finds a way to have the jurors leave.

25 min

23

The Invisible Mr. Dobble

Kate receives a letter from a Mr. Donald Dobble requesting a reservation for two rooms for him and a friend. Mr. Dobble's friend, David Benton, arrives and acts as though Dobble were with him. But Kate sees no one but Mr. Benton. Mr. Benton seems crazy as he sees and talks to an invisible man. Kate believes that Mr. Benton is probably overworked. When no one else seems concerned that they haven't seen Dobble, Kate starts to feel that she is the one going crazy. Kate continually tries to sneak a peak at or speak directly to Mr. Dobble to no avail. The girls start to worry about Kate, especially when they see her talking to no one. Kate asks Benton and Dobble to leave and to not worry about paying their bill. A Mr. Robinson comes by looking for Benton. It seems Benton defrauds hotels into getting free room and board with his invisible man scheme.

25 min

24

It's Not the Principle, It's the Money

Kate hopes to have a convention take place at the hotel. But, they are in competition with the Pixley Hotel, which has more modern conveniences. Kate decides to do a face lift of the hotel's rooms, with Uncle Joe doing most of the work. Meanwhile, Kate gets a letter telling her of a property tax increase of $6. She is relieved but Uncle Joe is livid. Joe sends a scathing letter to J.C. Albright, of the tax review board, demanding the taxes be lowered. Albright decides to go to the Shady Rest to handle the problem personally. Uncle Joe makes the hotel look as shabby and run-down as possible to justify the tax decrease. Mr. Forbes, the convention organizer, arrives and Joe mistakes him for J.C. Albright. Mr. Forbes decides against the Shady Rest for the convention. After fixing the hotel up again, J.C. Albright arrives and Joe thinks he's the convention organizer. Despite losing the convention, they do get a refund on their taxes.

25 min

25

War of the Hotels

The Shady Rest is full with guests, while the Pixley Hotel is just about empty. The Pixley Hotel's unscrupulous owner, Murdock Sneep, suggests to Kate that they merge their businesses. Kate declines as she knows how empty the Pixley Hotel is. An angry Sneep threatens to ruin Kate. He starts with an aggressive advertising campaign. Sneep and Kate then both try to one up the other. But soon both realize this no-holds-barred "hotel war" is costing each of them money and someone else is capitalizing on their feud.

25 min

26

The Windfall

The hotel is empty and bills piling up. In order to get some money, Kate suggests Uncle Joe find a paying job. Joe appears to be looking for a job, but he does his best not to get one. Joe takes a break in an empty lot in Pixley with Dog. While there, Dog digs up a tin can full of money. Uncle Joe doesn't tell Kate about the money, but Dog makes him feel guilty. Joe secretly pays off all of Kate's bills. Even though she doesn't know who to thank, Kate is surprised and happy. Uncle Joe learns that the money was probably stolen from the Crabwell Corners Bank. Joe takes what moneys left and returns it to the can. He then finds out that the stolen money was found somewhere else. But before he can get the money back, he hears that someone else's dog dug it up

25 min

27

Second Honeymoon

Uncle Joe is excited by a letter from Jeff and Nancy Anderson. They honeymooned at the hotel and are planning on returning for their tenth wedding anniversary. This gives Joe the idea to market the hotel as a second honeymoon haven for past honeymooning guests. The girls suggest they hold a gala reunion. They send out invitations and all the invitees have to do is fill in the dates they will be staying. The plan doesn't work as every single couple turns them down. The Andersons arrive and are looking forward to a quiet second honeymoon. But Joe's constant attention and picture taking is starting to bother them. Kate promises the couple she'll get Joe to stop taking pictures. Joe manages to get the happy couple arguing. He then finds a way to get them together again.

25 min

28

Kate Sells the Hotel

Carter Deming is a writer and the only current guest at the hotel. He tells Kate that he gets ten times more work done at the hotel than he does in his own home in New York. Uncle Joe lets Kate know that the bank turned down Kate's latest loan request. Kate realizes that she has never been able to make a go of the hotel. Mr. Deming offers to buy the hotel from Kate. Not knowing about the possible deal, the girls imply that they'd love to live in New York City. When Mr. Deming offers Kate much more than the hotel is really worth, Kate reluctantly accepts his offer. Kate tells the girls that the hotel is sold and they are upset. Despite what they said, they don't want to move from the Shady Rest and Hooterville. The problem is that Kate verbally promised Mr. Deming that she wouldn't back out of the deal. Joe tries to figure out a way to have Mr. Deming want to back out, but nothing works. Mr. Deming actually comes up with a reason to not buy the hotel.

25 min

29

Kate Bradley, Peacemaker

The cheap refrigerator that Uncle Joe bought isn't working, so Kate sends him into Pixley to get some ice for the icebox. Floyd and Charley are having a fight over who is the boss of the Cannonball and then they have a fight over a missing apple. Because of this, Joe can't get to Pixley and Kate's food will spoil. Kate gets the two to patch things up, but then Joe says something and they start fighting again. Kate has Betty Jo bring in the analytical mind of Mr. Douglas to assist in convincing the two to make up, but that doesn't work. Joe uses the hand car to get some ice, while the Cannonball strike continues. Floyd and Charley make up, but once again Joe does something to break them up again. Kate finally comes up with a way to get the two to be friends again.

25 min

30

Whatever Happened to Betty Jo?

Kate is cleaning out the storage closet. She wants the family members to go through their belongings to see what can be thrown away. Uncle Joe thinks they should start an antiques business with the junk. Everyone is around to help except Betty Jo, who should have been on the afternoon Cannonball run from school. Floyd and Charlie tell Kate that they saw Betty Jo that morning. She was all made up and had a suitcase. It looked like she was about to run away to elope. Kate and the girls look for clues in Betty Jo's room. They find a notebook that leads them to believe that Betty Jo might be thinking of eloping with the new boy in town, Peter Latimer. Betty Jo is actually just coaching baseball to Peter were no one can see them. Kate visits Mrs. Latimer to tell her that their children have eloped. When Betty Jo and Peter come home, everyone finds out that they were worrying over nothing.

25 min

31

Every Bachelor Should Have a Family

Kate's widowed friend Vera Wilson has been dating Ronnie Beckman, a bookkeeper who moved to the valley five years ago. Kate wants to know when they're getting married, but Vera says the relationship is going very slowly and she doesn't want to seem pushy. Kate runs into Ronnie on the Cannonball. He tells her that he's not sure about marriage as he has always been alone. Floyd thinks that Kate and Ronnie are sweet on each other. Ronnie wants to stay at the hotel to see how happy real family life can be. When they arrive, the sisters are fighting. Kate tells them they have to look like a happy family in front of Ronnie. Uncle Joe thinks Ronnie wants to marry Kate for her money, so he talks down family life. Kate tells Ronnie that they were putting up a front and that they often fight. Ronnie is glad, as it wouldn't be natural to be that nice all the time.

25 min

32

The Young Matchmakers

It seems that every night everyone has something to do except for Kate. Uncle Joe tells Kate that she needs to get out herself. The girls decide to try and find Kate an eligible bachelor. They first tell Kate that they're grown up now, she doesn't need to take care of them and she should go on a date. That direct approach doesn't work. Their next attempt fails as well. They then ask Mrs. Douglas for her advice. Mrs. Douglas suggests holding a lonely hearts club gathering at the hotel. Three desperate men show up at the hotel hoping to meet some women. Once she knows what is going on, Kate finds a way to get each of the men to leave

25 min

33

Hooterville Valley Project

Uncle Joe is excited about a new capital works project for the valley. The plan is to dam up Bleeker Creek which will create a new lake in the area. Kate points out to Uncle Joe that the location of the new lake does not mean that the hotel will be lake front property, but rather be under water in the middle of the lake. When she sees how this project will devastate her and the Cannonball, she knows Homer Bedloe is behind it. Kate needs to collect two hundred signatures for a restraining order petition. When Kate comes up two signatures short, Mr. Fletcher the Commissioner of Conservation, says nothing will stop them from putting in the lake. Uncle Joe's dog winds up saving the Shady Rest.

25 min

34

Betty Jo's Bike

Betty Jo wants to buy her friend Willie's motorized bicycle. Kate says she can if she is able to come up with the money. Betty Jo gets a babysitting job on the condition that Kate is around to supervise, to which Kate reluctantly agrees. Kate winds up doing most of the work. Now many other babysitting offers and many other babies come out of the woodwork. Unfortunately, the jobs are all for the same night and under the same condition of Kate supervising. With help from the family, they make it through the night. Willie says he'll trade his bike for the family dog, but Betty Jo refuses.

25 min