Tyler Perry's House of Payne Season 1, Episode 34: The Fast and the Furious

1

Bully and the Beast

Malik is confronted by a school bully, and Curtis has to handle the situation. What he can't handle is the bully's mother.

30 min

2

I Can Cry If I Want To

C.J. moves in with Curtis and Ella after his house burns down. Meanwhile, the family plans a surprise 50th birthday party for Curtis.

30 min

3

More Than Meets the Eye

C.J. becomes suspicious of Janine, while Jazmine misses her toys and friends.

30 min

4

Busted

Janine's drug abuse is recognized, while Calvin tries to sell fake designer wear.

30 min

5

Lost and Found

C.J. looks for Janine, while Curtis enrolls in an anger management course.

30 min

6

Down and Outted

Curtis thinks Malik is gay after seeing him wear a tutu. Meanwhile, Curtis offers some of his and Ella's retirement money to C.J. in order to jump start him and the kids moving out.

30 min

7

No Money, Mo’ Problems

C.J. accepts Curtis and Ella's money offer, but when he uses the money to put Janine in rehab she checks herself out, causing C.J. to lose the money and find a way to break the news to Curtis. Meanwhile, Calvin shows off Curtis and Ella's house as his own to impress a girl.

30 min

8

Just Say No

A school assembly about "Say No To Drugs" upsets Jazmine, because of Janine's drug problems. Meanwhile, the firefighters protest after Curtis refuses to replace the broken television at the firehouse.

30 min

9

Surprise, Surprise

Janine's parents show up looking for her. Claretha believes she knows Janine's father.

30 min

10

Father Knows Best

Janine's parents return and want custody of the kids. The firefighters "misplace" the fire truck.

30 min

11

I Keep Coming Up Short

Curtis has impotency issues. Meanwhile, C.J. tries to work out his debt.

30 min

12

The Buck Stops Here

The firefighters do a pinup calendar as a fundraiser and are surprised when a new firefighter assigned to the house is a woman named Angel. Meanwhile, Jazmine sells candy for her school.

30 min

13

Wax On, Wax Off

Malik's going through puberty and the women in the house are clueless. Meanwhile, a failing inspection at the firehouse is Curtis's fault.

30 min

14

Head of the Class

Jazmine, despite being in the 3rd grade, runs for president of the school. She enlists the entire family into helping her with election with Uncle Curtis as her debate opponent.

30 min

15

Paternity and Fraternity: Part 1

An old high school flame of C.J.'s comes back in his life with a claim that is bound to rock his world. Meanwhile, Malik's hanging around a bad group of kids and gets into trouble.

30 min

16

Paternity and Fraternity: Part 2

The possibility that CJ might be the father of another child continues to be a family issue. Meanwhile, Malik continues to keep company with sketchy kids.

30 min

17

Cracking Under Pressure

Janine and her associates from the crack-house break in and steal from the Payne's house. Meanwhile, Calvin trains for a marathon.

30 min

18

Club PCP

Calvin plans a house party when the rest of the family visits relatives in Florida.

30 min

19

Sadly Mistaken

Janine's associate, Beverly, steals Ella's identity, causing Ella to be briefly jailed for check kiting. Afterward, Ella feels compelled to confront Janine at the crack house. Meanwhile, Calvin crams for mid-terms.

30 min

20

And Justice for All

Malik and Kevin meet someone on the Internet, who turns out to be a man. Meanwhile, Curtis and Claretha have jury duty together.

30 min

21

I Got the Hook Up

Everyone tries to hook C.J. up on a date. Meanwhile, a woman who's HIV-positive volunteers at the Help Center.

30 min

22

Absolutely Positive

Curtis gets a colonoscopy and thinks he's dying. Meanwhile, Calvin goes on a date with Karen, the woman who's HIV-positive.

30 min

23

The Perfect Storm

The firehouse is overwhelmed by a nasty storm that hits Atlanta. Miscommunication about retrieving the kids from school causes a mix up that leads to sparks flying between C.J. and the assistant principal.

30 min

24

Teacher's Pet

After Jazmine "rescues" a hamster from her school, her assistant principal comes to the Payne household to investigate. When Malik finds out that Jazmine did abscond with the hamster, they keep it a secret, and it becomes a problem, and the mayhem becomes the order of the day.

30 min

25

Sad, Sad Leroy Brown: Part 1

Brown burns down his house and imposes himself on the Paynes. And Calvin's new girlfriend offers him an investment opportunity.

30 min

26

Sad, Sad Leroy Brown: Part 2

Tension escalates between Curtis and Mr. Brown, a Payne houseguest in the wake of his home fire. Meanwhile, Malik gets a tattoo and comes to regret that decision.

30 min

27

Weeping May Endure for a Night

Mr. Brown, Cora and Will come by the Paynes after Pop Brown's funeral. Brown is upset because Pop Brown left him his run down house which makes Brown thinks his Daddy really hates him. After going on another bad date, Calvin starts a website called "She's A Whack" dot com only for it to backfire on him.

30 min

28

The Big Test

C.J. has a date with Nicole who tells him she is waiting until she is married before having sex. Meanwhile, Jazmine cheats on a test.

30 min

29

Balancing Act

C.J. tries to find time for Nicole without neglecting the children. Meanwhile, Jazmine hopes a new look will attract the attention of Malik's friend.

30 min

30

Why Can't We Be Friends

Jazmine's friend, Tiffany, convinces Jazmine that C.J. is going to marry Nicole and move to San Francisco with Nicole just like her Dad did when he remarried. Jazmine and Tiffany devise a plan to break up C.J. and Nicole. Meanwhile, Curtis and Malik clean out the attic and bond.

30 min

31

Dog Day Afternoon

While Malik must make a documentary for a school assignment, Curtis is unknowingly roped into assisting a bank robber.

30 min

32

New Beginnings

When his divorce from Janine is at last finalized, C.J. attempts to start life anew, and his firehouse buddies urge him to savor the single life. Meanwhile, Janine asks Ella to get her into a rehab.

30 min

33

Heavy Petting

When an old friend of C.J.'s turns up, they stir up jealousy in Nicole which causes C.J. and Nicole's budding romance to hit a bump. In the meantime, the Payne children push to get a pooch.

30 min

34

The Fast and the Furious

Curtis must take an online driving course after he gets a speeding ticket. Meanwhile, Claretha and Ella clash over playing the lottery.

30 min

35

Gone in 60 Seconds

Curtis surprises the family with a new motorcycle, but his new bike causes more trouble than any one family could ever imagine. Malik's new friend from New York convinces him to steal Curtis' motorcycle, leaving Curtis no choice but to press charges, causing Ella to kick him out of the house. (Part one of three.)

30 min

36

Lost Without U

C.J. and Nicole's relationship is seriously tested when Nicole's jealousy gets out of hand, but that's the least of C.J.'s problems. Curtis filled charges against Malik, who faces time in prison for stealing and wrecking Curtis' motorcycle. Meanwhile, the firehouse crew must find a way to get Curtis back into the house that Ella kicked him out of before they go insane.

30 min

37

I Rest My Case

Malik and Tracie's nephew Kyle go to court to be sentenced for stealing Curtis' motorcycle.

30 min

38

A House is Not a Home

C.J. thinks they he may have found the perfect new apartment for he and the kids, but he soon learns that his dream home is too good to be true. Curtis is ecstatic that C.J. and the kids are finally getting out of his house. Meanwhile, Ella has had enough of Janine once she learns that she has been taking advantage of her.

30 min

39

Home Alone

Just as C.J. and the kids adjust to their new surroundings, an unexpected break in changes everything. Meanwhile, Curtis and Ella are thrilled to have their home all to themselves again.

30 min

40

The Wench Who Saved Christmas

Christmas has arrived and everyone is excited...except for Curtis. When he learns that Ella decided to cancel their holiday vacation to help celebrate C.J. and the kids spending Christmas without Janine, Curtis throws a Scrooge-like tantrum. He returns to reality after being in a dream state where Madea haunts him into realizing the true meaning of the holiday season.

30 min

41

Trial by Fire: Part 1

When a raging house fire is reported in the neighborhood, Curtis and the other firefighters rush to the scene. Calvin believes that he has finally found the right opportunity to prove to himself what he can do in a perilous situation. An uncalculated move results in Calvin rushing to safety and C.J. remaining trapped inside underneath the rumble.

30 min

42

Trial by Fire: Part 2

When a raging house fire is reported in the neighborhood, Curtis and the other firefighters rush to the scene. Calvin believes that he has finally found the right opportunity to prove to himself what he can do in a perilous situation. An uncalculated move results in Calvin rushing to safety and C.J. remaining trapped inside underneath the rumble.

30 min

43

Trial by Fire: Part 3

As C.J. fights for his life, he regains consciousness while awaiting the help from the other firefighters.

30 min

44

Reality Check

The firehouse becomes the subject of a new reality series about firefighters, but the producer of the show tampers with everyone's interviews by showing them in a not-so perfect image. Meanwhile, C.J. and Ella are at odds when Ella decides to takes the children to see their mother without C.J.'s consent.

30 min

45

Piece of Mind

The family visits a therapist and after a group session degenerates into a shouting match, the therapist sees them in individual sessions.

30 min

46

There's No Place Like Home

Janine comes to Ella after getting out of rehab and she moves into the house causing the rest of family to become upset. Curtis fails the fireman physical but is in denial about eating better or exercising.

30 min

47

Mommie Dearest

C.J. is at odds with the family as they continue to allow Janine to live with them. The Payne family ties are once again tested when Malik becomes embarrassed by Janine's arrival as he wants to avoid being taunted by his classmates because of his troubled mother.

30 min

48

You Big Dummy

Janine and C.J. are at odds when she takes the children out to an amusement park without C.J.'s consent. But the drama ensues when C.J. discovers that Calvin has been dating Tracie behind his back. Meanwhile, Curtis guides the firehouse into a mandatory CPR certification.

30 min

49

It's a Boy

Tracie gets frustrated when Calvin won't stop playing video games with Malik and Kyle.Tracie tells him that if he wants to be with her, he has to be more mature.

30 min

50

No Payne, No Gain

Jazmine is scheduled for surgery when she has an appendix attack, and she milks it for all she can. Even Malik is forced to abide by her wishes. Meanwhile, Curtis is on the hunt for a pesky rat which is roaming the firehouse.

30 min

51

Devil in a Blue Suit

Devil in a Blue Suit Janine acts strangely, leading her family to think she is using drugs again. With Blue back in her life, the family must find a way to fix Janine's past. Meanwhile, Malik gets a paper route to pay for sneakers.

30 min

52

Bad Influence

Ella has the flu, which means Curtis is in charge of the cleaning and cooking. Soon, he's also having to nurse Malik, C.J. and Janine after they catch Ella's bug.

30 min

53

Play on Playa

Calvin misreads a relationship counselor's signals when she invites him to her house for dinner; Curtis does not let anything interfere with the firehouse's poker party.

30 min

54

It's Getting Hot in Here

C.J. catches the eye of a lovely woman at a wedding, where he gets a little frisky with Janine. Meanwhile, Calvin's friends volunteer at the firehouse.

30 min

55

Don't Get It Twisted

The family grills Janine and C.J. after they spend the night together. But Curtis has problems of his own, when a man thinks his wife is having an affair with him.

30 min