Storage Wars: Northern Treasures Season 2, Episode 31: May the Schwarz Be With You

1

Bigger Stronger Meaner Dumber

The buyers return to Canada’s storage auction scene bigger, stronger, meaner and crazier than ever. Roy hires bodyguards to keep the riff raff away at an auction in Brampton. Bogart quits… but just when he thinks he’s out; can Paul pull him back in? Rick and Cindy make a wicket-awesome discovery, and Ursula gets carried away. Celebrity guests include Canadian healthy living advocates Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod, as well as Canadian National Cricket Team player Harvir Baidwan.

25 min

2

That's Mr. Pecker to You

Fill-in auctioneer Patrick Pecker returns to call an auction and chaos ensues. Roy’s arch-nemesis, auctioneer Patrick Pecker, calls an auction on Weston Road. While Roy seeks to lift the curse, Ursula works her charm. Meanwhile, Bogart reads Paul the riot-shirt, and Rick and Cindy get lost (try not to bug out).

25 min

3

Who Wants to be a Bazillionaire?

Ursula’s new employee Tania makes a big impression at an auction in Toronto. Ursula’s new employee Tania is tough, goth, and not afraid to pick a fight at an auction in Toronto. Of course, Cindy isn’t about to back down. When Bogart decides to assert himself, he threatens Roy’s claim to the title of biggest jerk at the auction.

25 min

4

‘Cause That’s What Janitors Do!

Mike and Armando are janitors by night, buyers by day, and ready to get in on the action at an auction in Emery Village. Part-time janitors Mike and Armando hope to clean up at an auction in Emery Village. Rick and Cindy don’t want to deal with yet another pair of newbies. Paul on the other hand, is always on the lookout for potential replacements for Bogart. Roy can’t handle the tooth, but Ursula’s gnarly locker is, like, totally tubular!

25 min

5

Shirt Happens

Buying partnerships are put to the test at an auction in Brampton. Buying partnerships are put to the test at an auction in Brampton. Paul moans when Bogart puts him on a diet. Meanwhile, Rick squirms when Cindy wants him to wear a spiffy new shirt. Ursula tries on her bossy-pants, but what Roy finds really puts the icing on the cake.

25 min

6

Keep Your Friends Close and The Veterans Closer

Paul and Bogart vow to take down Rick and Cindy at an auction in Orillia. Paul and Bogart declare storage war on the veterans at an auction in Orillia. But Roy goes against the declaration and bums a ride off them instead. Ursula has a bad hair day, and Rick and Cindy meet Sportsnet Broadcaster and former Stanley Cup Champion Nick Kypreos.

25 min

7

Knockout Punch

Ursula declares war on Roy at an auction in the Old Weston neighbourhood of Toronto. Roy is up to his usual antics at an auction in the Old Weston neighbourhood of Toronto. Only this time, Ursula strikes back with full force. Paul and Bogart are the epitome of the blind leading the blind, while Rick and Cindy’s locker is more than meets the eye.

25 min

8

Worst Laid Plans

Paul and Bogart put away all their gimmicks and tricks for an auction in Leaside. Paul and Bogart concoct an entirely new strategy for an auction in Leaside: to have no strategy at all. Rick and Cindy play doctor, Ursula gets her geek on, and Roy rocks out with Canadian metal icon Robb Reiner of Anvil.

25 min

9

Chini-chilla Bang Bang

Ursula brings her pet chinchilla Monty to an auction in East Gwillimbury. Ursula hopes her pet chinchilla will bring her luck at an auction in East Gwillimbury, but little Monty has ideas of his own. Rick and Cindy get into watersports, Paul and Bogart make a virtue of chastity, and Roy comes to work in his pajamas.

25 min

10

Roy Marks His Territory

Tensions run high between Roy and Ursula at an auction in Thornhill. Roy brings his dog for support and Ursula does her best to ignore them. Paul and Bogart hope their life coach will give them a leg up, and Cindy can't hear a word anyone is saying.

25 min

11

Kennys vs Kennys

Paul and Bogart swore never to bring Bogart's sisters to another auction, which is why Roy brings them to one in Cambridge. Rick and Cindy try getting lucky with some models, while Ursula hopes magician Zack Mirza can make money materialize.

25 min

12

Roy Dirnbeck: The Roy Dirnbeck Story

After months of waiting for Cindy to set a wedding date, Rick makes a bold move at an auction in Mississauga. Roy records his memoirs for bidding posterity. Ursula finds a new place to stash her booze, and Paul and Bogart get conched on the head.

25 min

13

Schlock Therapy

Roy antagonizes the buyers at an auction in Don Mills with free psychological analysis. Ursula tries to rein in Paul's reckless bidding habits while Bogart's away making wedding plans. Rick preaches caution, but Cindy goes for the big score.

25 min

14

Cougar Pants

Cindy and Rick search for fresh lockers at an auction in Toronto. Unforeseen expenses force Ursula to reconsider her attitude about stripping. Roy crashes hard. Paul and Bogart experience the merciless negotiations of Jeff Schwarz: The Liquidator.

25 min

15

Confessions of a Dangerous Mime

To his own amusement, Roy brings a mime to an auction in Corktown. Rick and Cindy arrive in a foul mood, Bogart hopes to whip Paul into shape, and Ursula aims to skewer the competition. Later, Roy gets a weather lesson from BT's Frank Ferragine.

25 min

16

Utopia?

The buyers head to Utopia hoping that the auction lives up to its name. Roy is flush with cash and is not afraid to bribe. Ursula runs afoul of some fowl, Rick and Cindy must atone for their sins, and Paul and Bogart uncover some true dough.

25 min

17

Three Kennys Are Worse Than None

Paul and Bogart arrive at an auction with a new “secret weapon:” Paul's inexperienced brother Barry.

25 min

18

Instigator in Training

Roy shows his nephew what being an instigator is all about at an auction in South Etobicoke. Bogart wants a new catch-phrase. Rick's pirate shtick grates on Cindy's nerves, but that's nothing compared to what they get from director Kenny Hotz.

25 min

19

Goji, Bogie and the Yogi

Bogart's hooked on goji berry juice and plans to spread the word at an auction in Milton. Roy is in all white, looking to spread distraction. Cindy's mind is on the lockers, but Rick's is in the gutter. Ursula has a bonsai to pick with her locker.

25 min

20

Exceedingly Loud and Uncomfortably Close

Roy distracts other buyers by invading their personal space at an auction in Mississauga. Paul and Bogart are clueless at finding a gift for Bogart's fiancée. Rick and Cindy regret arriving on rollerblades and Ursula has a horrific hair day.

25 min

21

Pranking the Monkeys

Roy makes mischief at an auction in Toronto with an assortment of classic pranks. Rick and Cindy resort to flashing to grab Don's attention. Ursula vows to take the perfect selfie, and Paul decides Bogart is finally ready for “the talk."

25 min

22

All Aboard the Party Train!

The bachelor party Roy has planned for Bogart is all anyone can talk about. Before the party can begin, Paul and Bogart take care of some adorable business and Rick and Cindy hope to make some money at the track when they meet up with an Olympian.

25 min

23

Freaks and Greeks

New buyer Tommy is larger than life and looking for a big score at an auction in Brampton. Roy arrives with an intern, eager to mentor for free labor. Rick and Cindy hedge their bets and Ursula would rather be shopping.

25 min

24

Honeymoon Capital of the Storage World

The buyers attend an auction in Niagara Falls. Rick and Cindy wonder if Cindy will be recognized in her old hometown. Ursula is in a sticky situation, Roy is better off undead, and Paul and Bogart visit the Ripley's Believe It or Not! Museum.

25 min

25

Hug Life

Paul, Bogart, and their life coach go to an auction in Toronto. If any problems arise, they must “hug it out.” Ursula encourages her daughter to run away to join the circus. Rick takes charge, Cindy doesn't notice, and Roy sets his glass on fire.

25 min

26

Between a Brawk and a Hard Place

Roy reaches new levels of distraction by training a talking parrot to insult the rest of the buyers at an auction in Etobicoke. Rick and Cindy do some detective work, Ursula could use a hand, and Paul and Bogart make money where the sun doesn't shine.

25 min

27

Two Men and a Fake Baby

Paul wants his son to be a father someday but is unhappy when Bogart brings a “practice baby” to an auction. Ursula finds out if blondes do have more fun. Rick and Cindy try silent but deadly tactics and no one notices when Roy is more honest.

25 min

28

The Birds and the Bees and the Bulls

The buyers learn lessons at an auction in Ontario. Paul and Bogart discover that listening to each other is useless. Glasses affect Ursula's bidding. Roy learns that his true calling is a frat boy and Rick and Cindy get too much information.

25 min

29

Ursula Goes Banana

Ursula goes ape at an auction when Roy says her coat makes her look like a monkey. Paul and Bogart set a bad example for returning buyer Jeff Gardner and his son. It takes a lot for Rick and Cindy to bid on their locker and Roy's out for blood.

25 min

30

One Man Party

Roy brings noisemakers to an auction in Emery Village but the other buyers aren't feeling it. Rick and Cindy prefer to clown around on their own time. Paul and Bogart boogie with some intergalactic performers, and all Ursula wants is a strong coffee.

25 min

31

May the Schwarz Be With You

Jeff Schwarz, aka “The Liquidator,” is back and is causing as much chaos as possible.

25 min

32

Paulie's Angels: Full Throttle

Paul's daughters return for an auction and decide to work as a team of their own, which ruins the day for Bogart. Roy hopes it doesn't cost him a locker. Rick and Cindy get serious about fitness and Ursula meets soprano Lindsay Sutherland Boal.

25 min

33

Dude, Where's My Locker?

Ursula 'bro's out' at an auction in Ajax where she runs into buyers Mike and Armando. Bogart wears an eye-patch to cover an injury. Rick and Cindy do some basic training. Mike and Armando go for a spin with ice racing champion Anthony Barlow.

25 min

34

Cindy Hayden: Voodoo Child

Cindy comes to an auction in Toronto with voodoo dolls of the other buyers. Rick's not convinced but knows better than to question Cindy.

25 min

35

Storage Wars: Extreme Edition!!!

Bogart sets out to make an “extreme locker buying” video at an auction in North Toronto with cameras on his and Paul's heads. Ursula looks even more glamorous, Rick and Cindy get their groom on, and Roy scores a date with Olympian Elizabeth Manley.

25 min

36

All's Well That Ends Wildly Ridiculous

Roy hires impersonators of the buyers at an auction. Paul and Bogart bond as they evade them. Rick and Cindy keep searching lockers and former NHL player Jim Thomson helps them find The Great One. Roy and Ursula's friendship blooms.

25 min