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The Chris Gethard Show: Public Access
Season 1 • Episode 103 • Turtle Birthday
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The Chris Gethard Show: Public Access Season 1, Episode 103: Turtle Birthday
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Episodes
143 episodesThe First Episode
The first episode was a rocky episode. The beginning of a very wild ride.
60 min
The Episode Where Everything Started
The second episode. After being shut out of having any prep time, we just took calls - and realized that calls could be the basis for the whole show and we were way over thinking things.
60 min
The Third Episode Episode
Shirtless Fanelli. A pre-presidential run and very visibly uncomfortable Connor Ratliff. Our first show in the small studio.
60 min
The Tazapper Episode
The first appearances of Anthony Atamaniuk and Horatio Sanz. I gotta tell you, I thought this public access experiment had crashed and burned, and Horatio showed up last minute with no warning.
60 min
The Wiffle Bat Gang Episode
The Wiffle Bat gang makes their debut - our first truly violent in an unexpected and way too much fashion experiment.
60 min
The Last Small Studio Show
Our final small studio show and the first ever hosted by Shannon O'Neill.
60 min
The Hands on an Audience Member Episode
60 min
The Kickboxer Episode
Considered an all time classic. Heavy hitter guests John Mulaney and Matt Besser.
60 min
The Dance Battle Episode
A controversial episode. Our friends the Oroboros Dance Crew came in and showed us what they do - little did we know that they would pants the Human Fish.
60 min
The Human Crane Episode
The most legendarily disastrous bit in the history of TCGS, the first attempt at The Human Crane remains the only stunt we've bailed on halfway through.
60 min
The How Random Is Random Jean Episode
The Chris Gethard Show debut of Jake Fogelnest.
60 min
The Fanelli Birthday Episode
60 min
The What's on My Head Episode
What's on My Head? What a weird, fun game.
60 min
The Drawing Pictures Episode
60 min
The Find the Human Fish Episode
Perhaps the dumbest idea we ever did - "Let's take the most popular thing about this show - in fact, the only thing that everyone loves all the time - and hide it from view for the entire show."
60 min
Goodbye Random Jean
A heartbreaking goodbye to an old friend.
60 min
New Friends and Long Lost Friends
We go on a search for the new Random.
60 min
The Physical Fitness Episode
Chris Gethard watched an episode and decided he needed to lose a few pounds.
60 min
The Great American Presidential Debate and Halloween Spooktacular
Connor invited every Republican candidate for president to debate him on the show.
60 min
Sibling Rivalry
Tom Scharpling in studio to mediate the relationship of Chris Gethard and his brother.
60 min
The Milkshake of Death
The Milkshake of Death. So gross, so fucked up, and such a fond memory.
60 min
Random Andrew and the Hero's Journey
Random Andrew was taking it on the chin from our callers.
60 min
Sandwich Night
A hundred-plus people showed up ready to eat.
60 min
The Greatest Rivalry in Sports
A bunch of people from the show play on a basketball team together in NYC.
60 min
Papa Gethard's Love Cauldron
Our dating episode. This one was really fun but also a mess.
60 min
Monologues Only
This was the great JD Amato's idea, and man was it a good one. All monologue jokes all the time.
60 min
One Hundred Callers
We attempted to get 100 callers in a single episode.
60 min
Ruin This Show
This one hurt. The only show that actually went off the rails.
60 min
The Dominatrix
60 min
The Night of Zero Laughs III
The Night of Zero Laughs.
60 min
The Blindfold Show
60 min
Loser Is the New Nerd
60 min
The Search for the New Random
We had to say goodbye to Random Andrew, and it was so sad.
60 min
The Birth of the Third Random
We meet Random Melissa.
60 min
Checking in with Alyssa
Why have something like The Chris Gethard Show if you don't do something nice for other people with it?
60 min
How Do Girls Work
Our callers quiz Chris on female related topics and it becomes very clear how little Chris knows about women.
60 min
The Culture Show
60 min
The Birth of the Hintmaster
When Chris sets out to play the somewhat complicated word-game "Guess The Magic Word" he gets immediate feedback from the viewers that they are confused and bored by the game.
60 min
The Camera Cannon
Eventually we had to let our audience use our cameras like guns that shoot missiles, so we went ahead and just did it.
60 min
The Wisdom of the Aged
We invited the interesting, articulate, and 66 year old Peter Benjaminson to the show to help us wrestle with the concept of aging.
60 min
Math Sucks, Hintmaster Sucks
A show dedicated to the ups and downs of education.
60 min
The Hintmaster Show
Completing his transition from hero to villain, the Hintmaster takes over an entire episode of TCGS, renaming it The Hintmaster Show.
60 min
Multiple Choice Cavalcade of Fiascos
The Multiple Choice Cavalcade of Fiascos is the ultimate bringer of either reward or punishment.
60 min
Foreign Language Bingo
This week the TCGS panel is filled with friends of the show who speak different languages.
60 min
We Got Nothing
This week we test our ability to put on a show by literally planning nothing. No call in topic. No bits. No guests. Nothing.
60 min
Robot Fights
The Keeper of the Battledome has time traveled back from the future to oversee a night of insanity on TCGS.
60 min
Birthday Night
This week is not only Gethard's birthday but also the last show before he takes to the streets for #BonnarooGethard.
60 min
The Great Gethard Look-Alike Extravaganza
With Gethard and much of the crew out on the road, the rest of the gang hosts the Great Gethard Look-Alike Extravaganza.
60 min
Farewell Melissa
Random Melissa's last episode.
60 min
The One Year Anniversary Show
It's been one whole year since we first started this circus and we're doing our one year anniversary right.
60 min
The Night of Zero Laughs
If you laugh, you get eliminated.
60 min
The Genuine Sadness Episode
This week we weren't in the mood for dumb stuff.
60 min
The Shitty Art Show
This week we explore both the art world as well as the world of tricking dummies into giving us money.
60 min
The Twist Magazine August 2012 Issue
In unison we read the August 2012 Issue of Twist Magazine. For the entire show.
60 min
The Setup Show
Behind the scenes of the setup for TCGS.
60 min
Sum Yourself Up in One Sentence
Panel, Callers, and friends are all asked to sum up their entire lives in one sentence.
60 min
Celebrities Come Validate Us
With Chris out of town, Shannon hosts the show and urges celebrities to come down to the show to validate us.
60 min
The Crowd-Sourced Character Contest
Viewers sent in their submissions for names of new TCGS characters.
60 min
Happy Murf Day
A day dedicated to Murf's head-shot and the man himself.
60 min
Truth or Dare
The TCGS cast and crew participate in a viewer submitted game of truth or dare.
60 min
The Ultimate Public Access Party
When Andrew W.K. comes to the show, we attempt to throw the most unforgettable party possible within with guidelines of public access television rules.
60 min
Smash Cut to the Future
The Keeper of the Battledome returns to TCGS.
60 min
Smash Cut to the Past
The Chris Gethard Show gets stuck in ancient Rome.
60 min
A Book Shall Be Written
R.L Stine, D.C. Pierson, and Dave Hill join the panel and attempt to write a book live on public access television in one hour.
60 min
The Blindfold Show II
The second Blindfold Show in which the entire panel is blindfolded.
60 min
The Softer Side of Shannon O'Neill
We attempt to bring out the softer side of Shannon O'Neill.
60 min
The Cans Film Festival 2012
We screen ten films each under one minute in the first ever Cans Film Festival.
60 min
The Beef Off
The Beef Off: After a caller tried to determine the beefiest member of the TCGS crew, we decided to hold an official contest to figure out who the beefiest member of the TCGS family might be.
60 min
Sandwich Night 2012: 2 Sandwich 2 Night
A bunch of friends gathering at a public access studio and eating sandwiches together on the eve of Thanksgiving - This year's Sandwich Night was massively successful.
60 min
Fan Fiction Theatre
Viewers send in their own original TCGS Fan Fiction and we perform it live on the show with Bobby Moynihan, Anthony Atamanuik, and many of our TCGS friends.
60 min
First Night in Harlem
While our regular studio is being renovated we have to head uptown to do the show from MNN's secondary studio in Harlem.
60 min
Panic Attacks and Technical Disasters
Our second week in Harlem and fittingly we are talking about panic attacks.
60 min
Hyperresolutions
We're in Harlem again and this time we're asking callers to give us their hypersolutions. We then take those hyperresolutions and then put Andrew Parrish in charge of making them come true.
60 min
Keeper and Company
With Chris out of town we head to the time stream and check in on The Keeper of the Battledome's morning talk show Keeper and Company.
60 min
Loser Is Still the New Nerd
Chris is joined by Jesse Ventura and Bethany to officially celebrate Loser-dome for the second time on the TCGS air waves. Callers and audience members explain why they might be losers.
60 min
Angels and Devils
This week the panelists take calls from people seeking advice and let them choose whether they want good or bad advice.
60 min
Belly Burrito
The panelists talk about some real stuff with callers as they help make a Belly Burrito.
60 min
Farewell Manesha
Chris Gethard is joined by Danny Tamberelli and Mike Maronna from the Adventures of Pete and Pete as we say goodbye to "Random Manesha" who we literally only met once.
60 min
Race to the Top
After challenging (begging) the fans to make the show #1 on iTunes, the panelists reward their successful efforts by degrading Chris Gethard.
60 min
Ambidextrous?
The panelists test the limits of their non-dominant hands in a show concept suggested by a fan on the show's message boards.
60 min
February Beach Party
After getting hit in the head with a coconut Vacation Jason has lost his memory and transformed in the stuffy suit-wearing Jason Reinlib.
60 min
When the Cat's Away, the Ratz Will Play
With Chris Gethard down in Austin for South By Southwest, Shannon takes over hosting duties for the night and promptly gives all the power to our chatroom viewers. The legendary Ratz Carlton.
60 min
First Times
Chris Gethard has first time callers, first time foods, first time experiences, and first time giant life moments. Special guest Aidy Bryant.
60 min
Someone will Die
One of the fictional characters will die.
60 min
The Royal Rumble of Twister
Colt Cabana is the guest for the first ever Royal Rumble of Twister. Every two minutes a new competitor joins the fray as callers give twister-based challenges.
60 min
Beyonce
With Chris Gethard out of town, caller and friend of the show Alyssa takes the reigns and hosts a night dedicated to Beyonce. One full hour dedicated to Beyonce.
60 min
Let's Get Real
This week we decide to get real and talk about anything our callers want to divulge.
60 min
What's in Hot Dog's Mouth
We spend an hour trying to guess the different objects hidden in Hot Dog's mouth.
60 min
Let's Sell Out with Real Late Night Characters
We try to prove that we can play ball just like any mainstream late night talk show, so we invite some conventional late night talk show guests onto our show.
60 min
Who Needs a Haircut?
Special guest Zach Galifianakis joins us in studio to give haircuts to strangers.
60 min
We Will Predict Your Future
Amy Poehler helps us predict the future. We use fortune cookies, tarot cards, magic eight balls, and our own intuition to determine what will happen to our callers.
60 min
Sum Yourself Up in a Dance Move
Callers, cast, and friends all describe the motions that make them unique. With special guest Griffin Newman.
60 min
What's the Worst Thing You Can Make Us Say?
This week the audience was challenged to submit the most offensive things they can muster.
60 min
Conspiracy Theory Gary Show
The show was handed over to fellow MNN producer Conspiracy Theory Gary and let him put on the Conspiracy Theory Gary Show.
60 min
The Hour Long Song
What happens when a bunch of strangers come together with random instruments and make up an hour long song?
60 min
The Crowd Sourced Character Contest 2
It's back. Viewers submitted over 700 character names, we picked 10, and now you get to see these characters come to life.
60 min
True or False
Callers tell stories and our panel has to decide if they are true or not.
60 min
Leaked E-mails
Following the lead of Edward Snowden, Gethard decides to leak all emails and text messages associated with this week's show.
60 min
Looking at Dicks for an Hour: A New Low
Four adult men look at each other's dicks for an hour.
60 min
Hundo
Chris gives a State of The TCGS speech while getting speech jammed.
60 min
Glory Hole Kissing Booth
With special guests Aidy Bryant and Vanessa Bayer, the panel is challenged to guess the lips of TCGS characters by kissing them in the first ever Glory Hole Kissing Booth.
60 min
Destroy-A-Toy
Bobby Moynihan loves toys. Callers decide which challenges Bobby has to endure in order to save toys from destruction.
60 min
Turtle Birthday
We have a birthday for a Turtle.
60 min
Space Battle
The Human Fish has been captured by an alien and only a board-game based space battle captained by Mad Men's Rich Sommer can get him back.
60 min
Caller Critiques
Jake Fogelnest joins the panel to critique our callers.
60 min
The Villain's Journey
Is Random Messenger Bag truly a hero or just a man who has yet to be properly tested? Also, the Front Bottoms join us and make our audience go crazy.
60 min
We Got Nothing 2
We got nothing. The only things we got are Quitzow who mesmerizes our audience in dancing a lot.
60 min
The Mole
Someone leaked confidential information to Gimghoul Castle in North Carolina, which begs us to ask the question: Who is the goddamn mole?
60 min
The Beef Off 2
Will Rob Malone defend his title? Will Jersey Dave repeat his first round failure from TBO1? Only the beefy will survive.
60 min
Olympic Training
Callers help us train Connor Ratliff in possible events for the upcoming Summer Olympics. Will he find his event?
60 min
We Watch You
We use Skype to watch our audience watch us.
60 min
TCGS Half Hour + Saddle Bee Neigh T Hive
TCGS performs a half-hour opener for the hit live variety sketch show Saddle-Bee Neigh-t Hive starring Horse and Bee. Griffin Newman is the special guest on TCGS as well as the host of SNH.
60 min
Mike at the Library
We let a guy from Cornell lead us around his school library via Skype for a full hour.
60 min
Rid Us of This Cursed Doll
We have a haunted doll. We want to give it to you. By the end of this show one of you will get it and all of the curses that come with it.
60 min
Open for Delivery
Viewers send things to the studio and we just sit back and let the fun come to us.
60 min
Place Your Bets
You make bets, we do them.
60 min
A Big Announcement
A big announcement. Anything can happen. No cool kids.
60 min
Sandwich Night Br3advolution
The third annual Sandwich Night. The biggest crowd, the most sandwiches, and calls from other sandwich celebrations.
60 min
Scare the Shit Out of Bethany
We try to make Bethany Hall cry live on air with help from horror actress Blanche Baker and the sick and twisted minds of our callers.
60 min
The Cream Wedding
The wedding you've all been waiting for: The Guy Who Likes Cream But Not Too Much Cream & His Personal Barista. Love, laughs, and - drama?
60 min
The Human Fish Gets Waxed
The Human Fish gets waxed. With special guest Sal Vulcano, and musical guest Wheatus.
60 min
Tell Us Something You've Never Told Anyone
Chris Gethard and the panel ask the callers to tell them something they have never told anyone before.
60 min
J.D.'s Nightmare
60 min
I'm Nervous All the Time
Planned to be about nervousness regarding the future. Instead, a completely unplanned chant of "eat more butts" broke out at the beginning then lasted almost fifteen full minutes.
60 min
Say It to My Face
Chris Gethard invited fellow MNN producers who have been talking shit to come on air and talk it out. None of them show up.
60 min
Don Fanelli Builds a Human Size Bird House
Don Fanelli builds a human size bird house. A callback from the very first episode.
60 min
Paintin' Faces with Diana Kolsky
Diana Kolsky face paints panelists.
60 min
Spanish Calls Only
An episode where only Spanish is allowed to be spoken.
60 min
How Would You Fight Me?
Callers were asked to call in and describe how they would fight Chris Gethard.
60 min
Straight Up Phone Sex
Callers were asked to call in and have phone sex with various members of our panel, and our very special guest, Hannibal Buress.
60 min
Talkin' Teenz
Chris Gethard invites a Canadian teenager to interview the panel about comedy and teenagers.
60 min
Juan in a Million
The Chris Gethard Show celebrates the long time creative contributor Juan in a live retrospective.
60 min
The Night of Zero Laughs V
The Night Of Zero Laughs V. If you laugh, you get eliminated.
60 min
The First Call Show
The first person to call in decides the topic of the entire episode.
60 min
We Aren't Done Talking About Wrestling Yet
Special guest Eddie Kingston in studio to help us work on the ancient art of cutting wrestling promos.
60 min
Talk About Whatever You Want (But We Recommend Professional Wrestling)
"El Matador" Tito Santana and SNL's Brooks Wheelan are joining us to talk about pro wrestling for the third week in a row.
60 min
Why Did You Stop Watching the Chris Gethard Show?
No characters, no costumes, no musical guest, no house band, no hula hooping. Just taking calls from people who used to watch the show but don't anymore, so they can say why.
60 min
ShoutOutTV Presents the Booty Shake Hour with Bo Montez
Bo Montez takes over the The Chris Gethard Show time slot, so get ready to shake your rumps for a full hour of debauchery.
60 min
I Can Do Bad All by Myself
There are no camera operators, floor managers, or any crew, Chris Gethard takes over all the reins with musical guest Mal Blum.
60 min
18th Century American Gladiators
The Chris Gethard Show traveled back to the 1700s to see some of our nation's founding fathers compete against audience members in a series of ill advised and very 18th Century events with music by Open Mike Eagle and Hannibal Buress.
60 min
Should We Keep Doing the Show?
The Chris Gethard Show has a simple call in topic this week - "Should we keep doing this show?" with music by Black Wine.
60 min
The Hallowcane Squeezetacular
Due to Hurricane Sandy shutting down most of New York, TCGS is forced to put on an impromptu Halloween Party and Live Show direct from Chris' actual bedroom. Cast and crew walked from the far corners of New York to get there and what unfolded was a last-second completely unplanned episode of TCGS. We try to scare Bethany, hear some great music, and endorse products since we're not on the public access airwaves.
60 min
12 Hours of Election Coverage
60 min