Mayberry R.F.D. Season 2, Episode 25: Millie the Secretary

1

Andy's Baby

Aunt Bee and Sam prepare for a visit from Andy and Helen and their new baby, Andy Jr. After they arrive, Howard, Goober, and Emmett come by to see the baby. Goober, then Emmett and then Howard, each hint that they would like to be the Godfather. After they find out that Sam is chosen, the men are upset because they all feel they are closer to Andy. Andy notices that the three men have become very cold and distant to him. They're also distant to Sam. Andy suggests having four Godfathers and the men agree. But then the three fight over who will be the spokesman at church. It's the day of the christening and it still hasn't been decided who will be the spokesman. When the Reverend asks for the spokesman, all four men come up. Despite things being very unorthodox, the Reverend smooths things over. Later, Mike wonders why he doesn't have four Godfathers and Sam has to rectify the situation.

25 min

2

Saving Morelli's

Mr. Morelli announces that he will be closing his restaurant due to the lack of customers. He says that everyone is going to Pagano's in Mt. Pilot because they feature a floor show. Howard and Millie offer to help by going to Raleigh to hire an act from Charley Pierce's theatrical agency. They hire a local act known as the Claghorn Brothers. Word spreads and Mr. Morelli is expecting a large crowd. But then the Claghorn Brothers cancel due to a family emergency. Because it's the last minute, Howard can't find another act. Sam used to entertain when he was in the Army and Howard and Millie hope he will help. Sam says that it's been too long since he did that type of entertaining and turns them down. Everyone is now upset with Sam. Sam changes his mind and that night he performs as a song and dance scarecrow.

25 min

3

Howard the Poet

"The Carolina Pen and Quill", the state literary magazine, sends a letter to Howard. The magazine is initiating a new poetry section for native North Carolina poets. They would like to commission him to write an original poem for the page. Some time passes and everyone is wondering how Howard's poem is coming along. The reality of it is that Howard is suffering from writer's block. Sam comes by Howard's office and reminds him of the deadline for the poem. Now his writer's block gets even worse. After hearing that he isn't eating, Aunt Bee brings Howard some food. But her being around is distracting Howard. Howard's friends start to realize the pressure he is under. Howard goes out to the woods to get some inspiration. Goober comes by and tries to give Howard a pep talk, but Howard just wants him to leave. Later, Howard believes he's a failure and tells this to Sam. Howard winds up writing a poem about failure and it gets published.

25 min

4

Goober and the Telephone Girl

Goober is upset over his bill from the Mt. Pilot telephone company for calls he didn't make. Sam drives Goober to Mt. Pilot and Goober speaks with Violet Henderson from the company. It's Saturday and Sam and Millie double date with Goober and Violet. A man makes a pass at Violet and Goober goes to intercede. The man punches Goober in the stomach and Violet uses her judo skills to throw the man to the floor. An embarrassed Goober asks Sam to take Violet home and leaves. Word gets around and Goober thinks the whole town is laughing at him. Violet comes by to talk to Sam and Millie shows up saying Goober is selling his gas station. Sam talks to Goober and says to show people he's not afraid, he should take Violet to Morelli's again. At Morelli's, Goober starts an argument at the jukebox with a man named Jim.

25 min

5

Millie the Model

Millie visits a dress shop in Mt. Pilot that is run by her friend Emma Whittaker. Millie tries on a new line of dresses and is introduced to their designer, Miss Rogers. Miss Rogers likes Millie's freshness and asks her to come to New York for a month to model the line for fashion magazines. Millie is excited and accepts the offer. It's been a week and Mr. Felton, the mailman, finally brings a card from Millie. She's been busy and has met a sculptor. Another week passes with no word from Millie. Sam goes to see Millie and Thornton Avery, the photographer, is not happy that Sam interrupted the photo shoot. Sam doesn't really get to talk to Millie as she is busy. Then the two go to a party that night. Sam finally gets a quiet moment with Millie. She says that while she's had fun, she can't wait to get back home.

25 min

6

Mike's Birthday Party

Mike is planning on having a birthday party with no girls invited. Sally, a new girl in town, is having a birthday party on the same day as Mike and she is inviting the boys. Many of the boys tell Sally they can't make it to her party as they are going to Mike's. As a way to entice the boys to come to her party, Sally mentions all the sports related prizes she will have. Harold finds out that Mike's prizes are nowhere near as nice. Boys start to cancel out on Mike. Mike suggests to Sam that they get better prizes, but Sam says that would just be buying friendship. Mike decides to call off his party. Goober and Howard think Mike should have entertainment at his party. Goober could do magic tricks and Howard will show travel movies. But the boys are not impressed. Sally tells Mike that she is cancelling her party because her father says that giving away those expensive prizes is just buying friendship. Mike suggests that they combine their parties.

25 min

7

The Farmer Exchange Project

Sam tells housekeeper Flora that he was chosen to be part of a Farmer Exchange Project with Russia. Professor Luboff is to spend two weeks with Sam. Everyone is surprised when Professor Luboff turns out to be Professor Tanya Luboff, a woman. Tanya is very proper and reserved and tells Sam and Millie that she was the only woman picked for the exchange project. Millie thinks she might have a good time at the dance on Saturday and asks Sam to get a date for Tanya. Sam talks a reluctant Howard into taking her to the dance. That night when Howard asks Tanya to be his date, she politely turns him down. She later overhears Flora telling Sam and Howard that Tanya hasn't discovered that it's fun to be a woman. Millie talks Tanya into going to the dance and helps her get ready clothes and hair wise. She also gives Tanya advice on how to act. It's the night of the dance and Sam and Millie arrive with a beautiful looking Tanya. Tanya dances with several men and has a great time.

25 min

8

The Caper

Howard complains to Sam about the lack of new residents and wants to hold a special city council meeting concerning Goober. The council says that Goober is going to sheriff's academy two nights a month and worked under Andy. The men vote down Howard's motion to hire a sheriff. Emmett inadvertently tells Goober about the meeting and Goober is now upset. Howard comes up with a plan to stage a bank robbery. He wears a stocking to disguise his face and uses a water gun to hold up the teller, Hilda, and leaves with a bag of money. Howard gets into his car but it won't start. As Goober comes over to talk to Howard, Hilda comes out and points out Howard as the robber. Goober arrests Howard and many of the townsfolk see Goober take Howard to jail. From his jail cell, Howard tries to explain himself to Goober and the two start to argue. Sam holds another council meeting at the court house. At the meeting, Sam uses some psychology to get Goober and Howard to be friends again.

25 min

9

The New Farmhand

Sam hires a new farmhand, Rudy Harwell, to help harvest his corn crops. Emmett mentions to Sam how impressed Mike is with Rudy. Even Flora sees how much Mike admires Rudy. Flora tells Sam he should spend more time with Mike. She is afraid Mike is beginning to enjoy being around Rudy more than him. The next day, Sam takes Mike into town, but Mike doesn't seem to have much fun. Flora tries to tell Rudy how close Sam and Mike are. Back at home, Sam and Mike try to put a model car together. Things don't go smoothly and then Rudy comes in and finishes the model. Mike goes off with Rudy. Later, Mike is having a hard time with a composition for school. Flora tells him to ask Sam for help, but he goes to Rudy instead. Rudy intentionally gives Mike bad advice hoping he will then turn to Sam. Mike does go to Sam and tells him about the bad advice Rudy gave him. The corn crop is harvested and Rudy leaves. It's then that Sam figures out that Rudy wanted Mike to be close to his father.

25 min

10

Palm Springs, Here We Come

Aunt Bee's friend Selma Plunkett is coming for a visit. Selma invites Aunt Bee, Sam, and Mike to stay at their Palm Springs home for a couple weeks while they're in Europe. At first they decline the offer, but Selma talks them into it. Goober, Howard, Emmett and Millie come by to say hello to Selma. Selma says it's a 5 bedroom house, so they all should go. Everyone makes arrangements to go and Sam just has to go to school to get Mike out of class. Mike informs Sam that he's flunking arithmetic because of his problem with fractions. Mike's teacher tells Sam that there will be another test in one week and if Mike can get a better grade, she wouldn't mind if he went on the trip. Everyone tries working with Mike, but things don't go that well. It's the day of the test and Mike isn't very confident. Everyone is thrilled when they learn Mike did well on the test. They plan to leave the next morning.

25 min

11

Palm Springs, Here We Are

The group arrive in Palm Springs and then head to Selma's house. The home is large and beautiful. Howard and Goober wind up having to share a room. Millie comes back from town saying she saw Rock Hudson. By the pool, Howard gets upset when Goober gets him wet. Their bickering continues that night while they're in their bedroom trying to sleep. The next morning Goober and Howard are still getting on each other's nerves. The others notice this and hope it won't ruin the vacation. Sam rents a Dune buggy and he, Millie, Howard and Goober go riding in the desert. Goober and Howard are still not getting along. They run out of gas and fortunately another driver comes by. Sam and Millie go with the driver to get gas after Goober and Howard insist on staying behind. The two start to worry when it seems that Sam has been gone longer than it should've taken. The men start to confess things to each other and become friends again.

25 min

12

Millie and the Palm Springs Golf Pro

Sam runs into an old war buddy named Charlie Harris. Charlie is a golf pro at one of the local clubs. He invites Sam and Millie over to the driving range for some lessons. After some time on the range, Sam remembers that they have to pick up Goober and Mike from the movies. Millie would like to stay, so Charlie offers to drive her back. Later, when Charlie brings Millie home, he tells her she's beautiful and kisses her. Goobers at the door and happens to see this, but he doesn't see her slap Charlie. Millie tells Goober not to say anything to Sam. Millie finally tells Sam what happened and he just laughs it off saying that's the same old Charlie. This makes Millie furious and she feels she's being taken for granted. Wanting to show Sam, Millie goes to ask Charlie for a date. He says that she's "Sam's girl" and he's apologizes for what he did. Millie decides to make it look to Sam as though she's going out on a date. She spends the night at a malt shop.

25 min

13

Palm Springs Cowboy

Howard meets Walter Michaels, a neighbor and realizes he's a big Hollywood producer. Howard, Emmett, Goober, Sam and Mike then head off to a cowboy breakfast horse ride. A cowboy then sings a song for entertainment and Emmett recognizes him as former singing cowboy movie actor King Beaumont. King comes by with a movie script he wrote for a Western that he would like Howard to give to Walter. Howard reads the script to the others and decides to set up a meeting with King and Walter. Sam thinks Howard might be getting in over his head. The next day, Howard talks to Walter and he reluctantly agrees to have a meeting later that day. That afternoon, King comes by with his partners Jennie Mae Swanson (Jeanne Bates) and Shorty Williams and they meet Walter. The three perform a scene from the film. Walter doesn't seem impressed and he says the time might not be right for a film like that. Walter leaves and King thanks the guys for trying. King then sings Red River Valley.

25 min

14

Goober's Niece

Goober is at the bus stop waiting for his niece Beverly to arrive. Beverly is at Goober's gas station when she meets Tommy and they both seem to like each other. Tommy talks to Millie about Beverly. He would like to ask her to the Siler City high school dance but he's never asked a girl for a date. Tommy calls and Goober answers the phone. When Goober finds out what Tommy wants, he rudely tells him Beverly can't go out with him and hangs up. Millie and Beverly overhear the conversation and Beverly gets upset. Millie and Sam talk Goober into letting Beverly go with Tommy. It's the night of the dance and Goober gives Tommy a specific time to have Beverly home. On the way back from the dance, Tommy runs out of gas. Tommy calls but Goober doesn't believe that's what happened. When the kids get home, Goober loses his cool and chases Tommy away. Beverly stops talking to Goober. Goober finds a way to make things right.

25 min

15

Emmett Takes a Fall

While tossing a football with Sam at Goober's service station, Emmett falls into the grease pit. The guys take Emmett to the Doctor and learn he broke his arm. He'll have to wear a cast for 5-6 weeks. Emmett is worried about having to close his shop. Not wanting to leave the town without a fix-it shop, Emmett puts an add in the paper for help. A scientifically-minded high school boy named Ernie applies for the job. Emmett at first turns him down, but then hires him. Emmett soon learns that Ernie is very skilled at fixing things. Word spreads around town about how talented Ernie is and now everyone is bringing in things to be fixed by him. A depressed Emmett tells Sam that he's closing up shop and leaving Mayberry. He says his shop just isn't the same anymore. Sam tells Emmett that even he has to try and keep up with new things and methods. After Emmett leaves, Sam calls the high school. Emmett winds up joining Mr. Desmond's science class at the school.

25 min

16

The New Well

J.P. Judson, a haggard old man, arrives at the farm. He tells Aunt Bea that he's a Dowser and can find water with a divining rod. She offers him a room in the barn until Sam comes home the next day. Sam comes home and tells Aunt Bea that he hired a company and their geologist will be there in the morning. She talks Sam into letting Judson stay to watch the geologist. Mr. Harris arrives and finds a spot were he'd like to start drilling. Judson checks the spot out and says they won't get any water there. Harris drills anyway, but comes up dry. Later, Judson claims to have found a spot and only wants $50 to show Sam where it's at. Sam says he's going to stick with Mr. Harris. The next day Sam tries using a diving rod and Aunt Bea sees him. But he's still going with Mr. Harris. Harris drills another hole and comes up dry again. Harris bets Judson that he can't find water and Judson tells Harris to keep drilling where they are. Harris drills another 20 feet and they hit water.

25 min

17

Emmett and the Ring

Emmett and Martha's wedding anniversary is coming up. He wants to take her engagement ring to Mt. Pilot to be cleaned. Emmett mentions to Sam, Howard and Goober that a he ran into Wendell, a stockbroker friend of his. Wendell gave Emmett a "sure thing" insider tip on a planned merger between two companies. In Mt. Pilot, Mr. Peterson, the Jeweler, tells Emmett that the ring is now worth $1,500. Emmett notices a $35 synthetic diamond that looks identical to Martha's. Emmett tells Sam and Howard how he pawned Martha's diamond for $1100 and had Wendell buy stock in the company. Emmett learns that the merger didn't go through. He tries to tell Martha what he did, but can't bring himself to do it. And he finds out he'll only get $400 for his stock. Sam, Goober, and Howard bring Emmett and Martha an electric blanket as a gift. Mr. Finletter calls and tells Martha that the ring is worth $35. Emmett finally tells Martha what he did.

25 min

18

Goober's Brother

Goober receives a letter from his older brother Braden that he is returning to his hometown for a visit. Braden joined the Navy nearly 20 years ago and stayed in California. Goober believes he works in a factory and probably had to save up for this trip. He hopes Braden will be impressed with the fact that he owns his own gas station. In reality, Braden is a successful and important engineer in the government's space program. Goober arranges a dinner party for when Braden arrives. When Braden sees Goobers room, he decides to not tell Goober about his job. At dinner Braden receives an call from his job and the men discover he's an engineer. The waitress says that he also has calls from Washington D.C. and NASA. Sam then remembers reading about Braden and the space program. This makes Goober feel inferior, and something Emmett says makes Goober feel even worse.

25 min

19

The Mayberry Road

Aunt Bee, Sam and Mike stop at a spot in Grover's woods that she is quite fond of. Sam tells her that the county is putting a road through there to make a shortcut from the highway to Mayberry. Aunt Bee and the garden club decide to send Sam to the County Seat to protest. Sam at first turns her down as he believes the road will be a good thing. But he reluctantly agrees to go to Mt. Pilot. Sam, Clara and Aunt Bee go to see Commissioner Osborne. Osborne tells them the road has to be built. The day that construction is to start, the ladies arrive to protest and block the tractors from going through. Osborne tells the ladies the project will be temporarily postponed while he looks into the matter. Osborne comes up with a plan to put the road in without cutting down a tree. Howard figures out that will make the shortcut a half mile longer than the current road.

25 min

20

Millie and the Great Outdoors

Millie tells Aunt Bee that she would like to go stay at a fancy hotel in Charlotte with Sam. Sam comes home and tells Millie they're going camping with Howard and Barbara Evans. Sam doesn't know that Millie hates camping. After she hears how Barbara loves fishing, hiking and camping, Millie decides she better go. Howard falls and tears a ligament in his foot while gathering firewood. Millie begins to feel out of place seeing Barbara's outdoor know-how. And it doesn't help that Sam and Barbara get along so well. No matter how hard Millie tries, she's just can't compete with Barbara. The next morning, Sam and Barbara go off fishing before Millie wakes up. Millie gets upset and tells Howard she's taking Sam's truck and going home. Back at home, Millie tells Aunt Bee how she ruined the trip. Because she's a better "indoors" person, Aunt Bee thinks Millie should host a dinner party for Sam, Howard and Barbara and show off her talents.

25 min

21

The Sculptor

Millie receives a letter from Rex Alexander, a famous sculptor she met while modeling in New York. After Rex arrives, Millie throws a tea party to have some of the towns people meet him. Rex has been in town for a week and has grown quite fond of the place. He tells Sam and Millie he would like to create a sculpture for the town as a gift. The piece is called "The Struggle" and the crowd looks at it in awkward silence. After the crowd disperses, Rex is worried the people don't like it. Sam and Millie try to reassure him that everyone loves it. It's decided that Howard would subtly try to find out from Rex what the piece represents. Rex says that it represents man against machine. Aunt Bee introduces Anthony Harper, a curator from the Raleigh Art Museum. The plan is that the sculpture will be permanently loaned to the museum so that many more people will be able to enjoy it.

25 min

22

The Health Fund

At their lodge finance meeting, Sam discusses their new health insurance plan. It will only increase dues $8 a month and all bills will be paid by the lodge. Later, Howard tells Sam that his doctor suggests he have an operation to correct his deviated septum. Elmo finds the timing of this operation very suspicious. Emmett and Goober confront Howard and call him a crook. They go with to the hospital to make sure Howard doesn't pad the bill. Emmett and Goober then ask Dr. Wilson about some of the expenses of the operation. Emmett and Goober decide to go see Howard at checkout time to make sure he doesn't stay longer than he should. The lodge meets and learns the health fund is heavily depleted. Goober suggests if Howard doesn't have appendicitis the lodge shouldn't pay for the extra day. Howard is out of the hospital. Goober doesn't believe someone can develop symptoms just by talking about it. Then Sam mentions hives and Goober starts itching.

25 min

23

The Mayberry Float

Millie and Clara compete for the honor of appearing as a pioneer woman on a parade float.

25 min

24

Aloha Goober

Everybody thinks Goober is going to Hawaii

25 min

25

Millie the Secretary

Millie doesn't know that her new employeers are actually bookies

25 min

26

The Mynah Bird

Mike loses Howard's prized mynah bird. Final appearance of Frances Bavier as Aunt Bee.

25 min