Masyanya Season 1, Episode 2: The Modem

1

The Car Enthusiast

Getting from one end of this concrete maze to the other is no easy feat — especially when you live on Soldier Voskoboynikov Street.

2

The Modem

A modem is a thing of wonder — useful, essential, and universally applicable. Use it at home, on the street, around the corner, in a dark alleyway... and it shall reward you beyond measure. :-)

3

The Commuter Train

Masyanya makes a living busking on commuter trains. Unconventional? Just a little. Restored animation from 2001. Back then Masyanya was pure punk — no filter, all chaos. The softer, more human side came later. This early incarnation is just straight-up trouble.

4

The TV Set

A questionable one. This episode is from the era when the cartoons were made not for an audience, but for a couple of friends — so there was no particular need to keep anything in check. Restored animation from 2001.

5

The Joke

A simple little toon — but one that defined the entire direction of the character's development. And her gloriously mangled vocabulary, of course. Take notes on how to tell a joke. :))

6

Amsterdam

Masyanya demonstrates how to quickly, simply, and accurately share your impressions of a visit to the free city of Amsterdam. :-)

7

The Birthday

Quite possibly the most controversial episode of the bunch — and, likely, the only one to have been translated into many major languages.

8

Masyanya and Splean

This episode came together spontaneously after a visit to a Splean concert at some dingy community center.

9

Little Letdowns

A psychological one. I think almost every guy out there can recall a similar episode from his own life.

10

Friday

An episode about "Friday" and "mani-hani." One of the most beloved and relatable ones — famous for the line "half an hour, no matter what."

11

Ice Cream

An episode about Masyanya making a living by scamming passersby.

12

On the Loose

The episode famous for Masyanya's iconic cry "I wanna go out!!!!!" — and go out she does. This is actually the most typical scenario of a St. Petersburg night out: a wild start and a sad, but far from tragic — rather romantic — ending. Alone in a crowd.

13

Radio Day

Probably the most well-known episode — the one responsible for the now thoroughly overused catchphrases "let's go have a smoke-y-woke-y!" and "go to hell, director!"

14

Somehow

The episode about "the thing" and "something like that." A situation pretty much everyone has found themselves in at some point.

15

Moscow

A divisive episode about Moscow. It must be said — the city hasn't changed all that much. Still loud, chaotic, flashy, pop-cultured, and rude. Though of course, it all depends on where you're standing and how you look at it.

16

Sweet Dreams

This episode — known for the iconic cry "a mug of cognac!" — became a fan favorite. Made in the aftermath of a night out at the Griboedov club. Ironic, to say the least.

17

A New Year's Fairy Tale

Made to ring in the New Year 2002. Also of historical interest: Masyanya rattles off what amounts to a nearly complete list of the most popular alternative clubs of the era.

18

Little Gifts

The undisputed record holder for most quoted episode.

19

Show Business

Made back when disposable pop hadn't yet completely consumed the Russian music industry. These days, what the cartoon talks about is hardly a secret — a producer who "wants to hear ass" doesn't raise an eyebrow anymore.

20

Download

Yes, there was a time when downloading even a Masyanya cartoon — a mere 3–4 megabytes — could be a real ordeal. Dial-up modems were awful, connections dropped constantly. Sometimes, as in this cartoon, at the worst possible moment. The episode is also known for the catchphrase "stopudovo" — roughly meaning "a hundred percent" or "for sure."

21

Valentines

These valentines were originally hosted separately on the site. The plan was to have three valentines in one cartoon — but of course, the third one never got made. Either ran out of time or just couldn't be bothered. Happened more than once.

22

A Tour of Saint Petersburg

A dated episode, narrated almost verbatim from the words of an ordinary cab driver.

23

March 8th

Made in literally a couple of hours after the sudden realization that tomorrow is International Women's Day and there's no holiday cartoon ready. Incidentally, when the first Masyanya merch store launched in 2005, the t-shirt featuring the image and catchphrase from this episode was by far the bestseller — leaving everything else in the dust. :)

24

Urban Horrors

Based on the personal experience of the daily journey home from Prospekt Bolshevikov metro station through the tomb-like expanses of Brezhnev-era housing blocks.

25

Battle of the Sexes

One of my personal favorite episodes. And it's not really about the subject matter — it's about the comedy of the situation, the simple natural reactions, the effortlessness of it all. Light and charming. God willing, may all our problems be this small. :) Music by "Lena Te".

26

Wheels

Made in the wake of skating sessions with friends near Chkalovskaya metro station. The episode is known for the lines about "wheels that you don't swallow" and "don't make excuses — this isn't the draft board" — though honestly, the whole script is quotable.

27

Potter

A particularly remarkable episode in the history of Masyanya. It is almost documentary in nature, marking the appearance of a certain character dubbed Potter — a schemer and a scoundrel who would go on to play a tragic role in the development of the cartoons and the studio.

28

The Blues

A landmark cartoon. The method Masyanya uses to pull herself out of the slump is unique — and surprisingly easy to apply.

29

On Edge

A word of caution: some things are better left unexperimented with — unless you want things to end very, very badly. Features the iconic line "Welcome back to our crappy world!"

30

Russian Punk Rock

Russian punk rock — senseless and merciless, one might add. This episode was made after attending Muse's first concert in Saint Petersburg.

31

The Doll

This short episode owes its existence to the unexpected wave of popularity that hit the series — with all that comes with it. It could more accurately be called "Masyanya for Sale," after the Beatles album.

32

Money, Sky and Cars

This episode marks the end of the series' first life. What follows is an entirely different era — one that smells of television.