Masyanya Season 5, Episode 118: Drink Your Mineral Water, Grandpa!

93

Chikkin

So, basically, the episode "Moth" was made as the finale. The series is over. Studio's disbanded. Nothing to do, situation's grim. For a couple of months I just did absolutely nothing, stuck in a depression. I wasn't planning to make cartoons anymore. However, completely out of the blue, I stumbled into a situation on Nevsky, in one of those fast food joints — the very situation described in this cartoon. Well, tell me, how could I NOT make a cartoon? It's just absolutely impossible not to! :)) Well, it's exaggerated here, of course, but hey, that's what cartoons are for. And off we go again..

94

Carrot

Everyone's gotten so uptight! That's because you need to eat your carrots! Vitamins! There's not much else to say about this episode. I've carried this burning issue with me my whole life. Sometimes it seems to me that people are just completely incompatible. Completely. Just don't get worked up. Eat your carrots more often! :)))

95

Grusha and Kondrashka

This episode was inspired by a long-standing mystery from my childhood. You all understand that I'm talking about the show "Good Night, Little Ones". One day I saw a photo online taken from behind of the host, and it brought back how much this mystery tormented me as a kid. Well, let's consider this cartoon my way of closing out that old childhood complex... :) And I wish the same for you..

96

Guess It All

This is probably the most shittiest job Masyanya has ever had or ever will have. Unfortunately people do work jobs like this. These kinds of "little shows" exist on pretty much every channel, in almost every country. A rare-breed lunacy that would be a sin not to take the piss out of.

97

Kickback

"I have two cartoons made based on posts by friends on LiveJournal. One is about a diaper, if you remember, and the second is this one, about a mouth ulcer. And in general I've always boasted that I can make a cartoon about any topic. And that's probably true. Because it's not about the specific situation, it's about the Masyanya approach. :))

98

Female Triangles

A little return to the "triangles" genre. There are two parts on the site. Here I combined them into one. No point dragging it out. The second part came out for the New Year, 2008, so the last bit is a New Year's one. After all, the Masyanya series has always had a lean towards female hang-ups. So topics touching on female psychology fit in nicely.

99

Aero Triangles

Those who have to fly often will relate to this cartoon more. I hate flying. All these airports, security checks, endless waiting. It's some kind of evil. You feel like you're on a conveyor belt in a torture chamber. Although of course it's nonsense. Nothing serious, just one more excuse to take the piss. Could probably put out another couple dozen of these aero-triangles. Stories about how we get messed with over little things are endless in their variety. :))

100

Little Surprise

The hundredth episode turned out to be "Little Surprise", a rather sweet cartoon about the petty nastiness of the female nature. Although male nature is not far behind, and sometimes even surpasses it in irrationality. Give me a different globe, as they say.

101

The Hard Way to Quit Smoking

As Mark Twain said — "Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it many times myself". I think there are no smokers who have never tried to quit this filthy business. Just as there's no smoker who hasn't at least once been recommended that little book by Allen Carr, I think that's his name. I found this book to be extremely dumb. He simply, throughout the entire book, plants certain thoughts into the reader. Literally plants them, pushes them, shoves them down your throat, hammers them in. I don't like being treated like an idiot and just having something force-fed to me. And the ideas themselves are mostly so-so. But if you jam them into someone's head labeling them "life-saving", they settle in there for good. Self-hypnosis initiation. Works on many people. But it's not even about smoking — the point is that the result is often achieved by a completely different path. What works for one person is absolutely wrong for another. Know and love yourself and your Lokhmatiy ones.. :))

102

Pizza! Pizza!

A sloppy little cartoon mess revolving around pizza and the methods of handling it. Absurdities on wheels. Just a laugh with no deeper meaning whatsoever. To hell with all that deeper meaning. As if we needed cartoons to get all heavy on us too. Just felt like some pure silliness... :))

103

The Toad

The cartoon was made for the upcoming New Year 2009. Hence the tsar's congratulations to his vassals at the end. The cartoon is known for the wonderful song about "two thousandth rublev", which I later heard several times on the phones of complete strangers.. :))

104

Whoopsie

It's pretty hard to explain why I made this cartoon. In principle it explains the concept of karma in an accessible, idiotic form. On the other hand there are such wonderful proverbs as "He that is born to be hanged shall never be drowned" and "Man proposes, God disposes" and other such wisdom... In other words — we know nothing. Absolutely jack squat. And all our assumptions are rubbish. Even, as in this cartoon, seemingly obvious things. In short — fatalism. Although in reality I'm not a fatalist at all, not even a little bit, and I don't believe in fate. But sometimes there's this persistent feeling that someone or something is steering you, gently nudging you along... The term "karma" is still easier to work with.

105

Budtenate

At first, after watching this cartoon, people said something like: "Well, yeah... the cartoon's fine, sure, but we don't want Masyanya with kids and all that business". In short, despite the fact that Masyanya, judging by the 10-year history of the series, by human standards should already be somewhere around 30, the audience denied her the right to start a family. However I took a pause, and then continued to push the theme. And I was right. The subsequent cartoons with Masyanya, where she already has a kid, turned out to be no less, and by pure statistics even more successful.

106

How to Make a Toon

This bonus episode was made for the 20th anniversary of the show "Namedni", in which Masyanya had the pleasure of flourishing over the course of a year. The cartoon isn't even about her at all, but about me and the guys from the studio. About our struggles with the series in 2003-2004. Everything is as clear and truthful as it gets. :)

107

Us and Them

This cartoon continues from the previous one. For better or worse, Masyanya is growing up and toughening up. Many didn't want this, but I went against the grain :). Let Masyanya be the only cartoon character growing up together with her audience. Let her suffer along with us, why the hell not? :)))

108

One Hell of a Bang

The cartoon is called "One Hell of a Bang". This cartoon was inevitable. I believe I was pressured by someone from above, some angel-creep.. :) The cartoon draws on the experience of many people, thanks to everyone. If anyone happens to recognize themselves in some moment — don't even ask — yes, that's you. Hope you enjoy it. :) Hooray for everyone!

109

One Heck of a Soup

A slightly chaotic but very fun episode. But, as they say, c'est la vie. Even in all those disciplined organizations like the army or prison, something is always going sideways. Let alone in our own affairs. We're all people, all human, and a little "going-sideways" accompanies us 24 hours a day and is perfectly normal.

110

Camera Shake

Always wanted to make an episode like this.. about photographers. Or rather about the miracles of modern photography and what this hobby does to people. What used to be a high art has now become a "something-to-do-when-bored". I'm imagining what it would be like if the ability to play banjo (just as an example) could simply be bought in a store, or if it came bundled with a pick.. :)) You could quite easily declare the death of photography as an art form, but... you can't. If everyone suddenly starts playing banjo, someone will still play better than the rest...

111

Trolleybus

I don't know how to write a description of this cartoon without spoiling it for those watching for the first time. This is, in short, a somewhat strange episode. Although we are living in a strange world right now, one that changes faster than we can comprehend what exactly has happened. At that kind of speed you get thrown wildly off course into complete lunacy on every turn. You just have to get used to it.

112

Cthulhu and the Penguin with a Propeller

An episode that was originally conceived as a simple comedy about a phone suddenly, unexpectedly, halfway through, turned itself in a completely different direction. I'm not to blame, the plot turned out unusual and dictated by who knows whom. I think my hand and brain were taken over by a parrot with a propeller!

113

Peoplesies

A homey, kiddy, comedy cartoon. Started making it about something completely different, and then suddenly scene number one grew so much it took up the entire cartoon. That's how I make cartoons now. Masyanya's virtual personality is already outshining mine and independently decides what the cartoon will be about and how it'll go. When Masyanya was still pregnant many people asked — well what kind of mother will come out of such a goofball? Well here's your answer, sort of. A wonderful one, actually! Better than many.

114

The Green Boogeywitch

What are we living on? What are we breathing? What are we eating? When are we finally going to croak? How long will the fat-bellied bourgeois keep poisoning us with toxins for our own money? How long can we keep feeding on carcasses and petroleum byproducts? These kinds of ecological questions unfortunately in most cases have only a blunt and unoptimistic answer. But that's no reason to be glum... :)

115

Tsar@ru

This is a rare case. I haven't made topical cartoons for several years now. But sometimes you just have to. Have a little mischief, so to speak. If it seems to you that the cartoon is too cheerful for such a topic — don't trust your eyes and ears! Don't trust your index toes either! They can't point at anything! Although, well, it is. The cartoon is too cheerful. While being not at all optimistic. Yes, it turned out strange, I agree. And that's on purpose. As they say, "I'm too sexy for my shirt". Meaning only laughter will save us. Description done.

116

Petersburg Summer. Commedia dell'arte

The peculiarity of Petersburg summer is unique and one of a kind. And since summer is already leaving — I thought it would be nice to take a spin on this eternal topic.

117

Withdrawal

Try to look at the plot of this episode a little broader than just the situation shown in the cartoon. Approximately, of course, the message could be described as in the famous motivational poster "Never Give Up", but it's far from just that, far from just that...

118

Drink Your Mineral Water, Grandpa!

A long and tedious cartoon about how Lokhmatiy's independence, self-sufficiency and individuality itself were put through serious stress-testing by Masyanya, a liberal anarchist of the existentialist persuasion. Also about zombies, punks, a primer, naked ladies, excessive impressionability, meditation, railway station literature, homosexuality, physical dependency and everything all at once really... :)