Son of the Beach Season 2, Episode 5: Queefer Madness

1

B.J. Blue Hawaii

Notch gets honored by the Hawaiian Tropic so he and the gang go to Hawaii. Notch meets up with an old friend and discovers that his daughter is a drug lord growing Marijuana, Cocaine, Methadone, and Hashish so he and Kimberlee team up to stop her. Meanwhile, Jamaica and B.J. enter a Miss Hawaiian Tropic Contest. Also, Chip pretends that he is gay to get the mayor to stop trying to get him in bed.

2

From Russia with Johnson

Notch and his unit must stop a Russian terrorist.

3

Remember Her Titans

Jamaica's boyfriend has a problem with gambling, and is majorly in debt. Since Jamaica's boyfriend doesn't have the money, he is told by the bookie that he will let it slide if he throws the game. When he doesn't agree, he breaks his leg so that he can't play. Notch decides that he will fill in for him at the game and he is allowed to fill in for him because he never finished high school. Meanwhile, Kody's father comes to Malibu Adjacent from the U.K. to ask Kody to go back and live with him.

4

Rod Strikes Back

Rod returns and wants his revenge on everyone, Especially for B.J.; Chip's dog ""shitsu"" (sp?) arrives at Malibu Adjacent and challenges Steve.

5

Queefer Madness

The beach is terrorized by a gang of bad boys.

6

Light My Firebush

Notch hires his half Indian sister as a life guard and uses savages techniques to help the beach. B.J. is reunited with her mother Ima Cummings. But her (step) daddy butts in her life and threatens B.J. and Ima's lives.

7

Chip's a Goy

Needing some R&R, the Gang heads to the tranquil Middle East. Their visit with Notch's Israeli counterpart, Noccus Johnstein, is cut short, however, when evil terrorist group HUMMUS kidnaps Notch. Can the Gang save their fearless leader, or will HUMMUS crush them like so many chickpeas? In the meantime, Chip falls in love with Noccus' daughter, Chcch, and agrees to convert to Judaism. He soon finds this means giving up much more than he bargained for.

8

A Tale of Two Johnsons

When an evil crime syndicate clones an operative to look like Notch, the Gang is suddenly seeing double. The real Notch Johnson must stop ""Evil Notch"" from wreaking havoc in Malibu Adjacent. Can Notch beat himself? Also, Kimberlee's old boyfriend, a musician, comes to town and tries to get Kimberlee to come back to him.

9

It's a Nude, Nude, Nude, Nude World

The Nude-lympics come to Malibu Adjacent, and someone is killing beautiful, naked women because he feels they are 'Dirty'. Mayor Anita wants to cover up the story, but SPF-30 is at work cracking the case. Kimberlee lands a date with the murderer unaware until he arrives to pick her up that he is the killer of all the women. While on her date, Kimberlee makes a private call to Notch telling him that she is with him but the killer finds out and then tries to kill Kimberlee until Notch and the gang come along to save her.

10

It's Showtime at the Apollo 13!

Jamaica is chosen as the first black lifeguard in space aboard the shuttle <em>Catastrophe</em>; Notch goes undercover at the Robert Downey, Jr. Senior High School when a student hacks into the shuttle computer and endangers the mission.

11

The Island of Dr. Merlot

B.J. and Notch crashes on an island while riding in his airplane, Dr. Merlot decides to make them his throphys.

12

The Sexorcist

Jamaica has just come back from her vacation and came back with gifts, including a bottle that everyone was afraid of when she was there. Jamaica gives the bottle to B.J. and she opens it and becomes possessed by the devil. Notch has to overcome his past failure at exorcising and get the devil out of B.J. and keep him from repossessing her. Meanwhile, the Mayor's knack for sexually harassing Chip threatens her career when an uptight reporter, with political aspirations of her own, gets wind.

13

Grand Prix

Notch must defend the honor of America in a three-quarter midget car race vs. a man from France. The Frenchman, who goes by the nickname ""The Frenchman"", is married to Notch's old flame, a beautiful French maiden named Nicorette. After her reappearance on the scene, Notch realizes she's a hard habit to break. Meanwhile, B.J. and Jamiaca help save a lesbian bar from going under.

14

Area 69

When B.J. is impregnated and then abducted, Notch knows that there's trouble afoot. And when his old Vietnam/F.B.I. buddy Captain Enteneille warns Notch to stay off B.J.'s case, Notch knows that it's time to search for the truth. He and Kimberlee head to the famous secret desert installation, Area 69, where Notch learns more than he bargained for. Back in Malibu Adjacent, Chip and Professor Milosevic enter a local talent contest and are signed by a TV network executive to star in a situation comedy. Hilarity ensues.

15

Booger Nights

Quotes: Notch: ""Here's a picture of my head. And here's a picture of my face.""